Check this senario!!!

[Bear]

What if a man goes to the Philippines to vist a penpal and while he's there he doesn't tell these penpals he will see other penpals and occasionally leves this one penpal and goes and visits other penpals.
After shecking out the competition he decides the first one is the right one and makes a commitment to her.  He files her paperwork and spends his money to bring her to the states.  After she gets here she decides before she marries him she would like to do the same and visit other penpals too.

How do ya'll feel about this?

Bear

[Bear]

... in response to Check this senario!!!, posted by Bear on Aug 10, 2001

I think the thing here is the Filipina says that he didn't tell her he had other penpals so why should she?  She felt she was committed to him when he first came but he felt he needed to check out the competition before he committed to her.  So she thought she should do the same and not tell him and check out his competition too.

Bear

[Howard]

... in response to Playing the Devils Advocate..., posted by Bear on Aug 10, 2001

Bear,

C'mon.  You can't actually support the scenario you have given us.  I just don't believe it.  As religious as you seem to be?  NO WAY!  Yo're just bored and "F"-ing with our heads, but I'll play along :c)  I'm bored too :c)]

First.  There is just no way a reasonable person can even BEGIN to say that there is any sort of valid comparison here.  When he went to the Philippines to visit her, the commitment was not an issue.  It was more of a fact finding mission.  Yes, the relationship was escalated to a new, higher level, but until he pops the question they are both free agents.  Sure, she may think he is more serious than he is AND if he didn't explain to her his intentions, then shame on him, but regradless before the commitment there is no commitment, period.

It took a commitment of potential marriage for her to come to America to do some groom shopping of her own.  If she had any character and her intention all along was to test the waters, SHE should have been upfront with him, knowing how much it hurt her when she found out.  Revenge is not a sign of good character, so if that was her motive, she has character issues to begein with.  If she put forth the idea that she would like to meet another pen pal while in the US, but that her other penpal couldn't get the paperwork through to get here here upfront, then she probably wouldn't have gotten here.  Big surprise, eh?  If you are doing something that you feel is right, then you should have no problem telling anyone what you are doing.  The fact that she LIED about it, so that she could do it, alone, is a huge issue.

For a guy to bring his fiancee here is a MUCH bigger commitment than for a gal to accept a visitor from a foreign country for a visit.  When a foreigner come calling, she is a celebrity, as well as the foreigner himself.  He picks up the tabe for family adventures, etc... I can't even go on trying to rationalize the difference, I just get too mad even thinking that you actually might try to see the logic in your stance.

Bottom line.  It took application fees, plane fare, paperwork, but most importantly a commitment on the part of the sponsor to the goverment that he would be financially responsible, while she runs around testing the water.  That's BULL S@!*! and you know it.

just my buck, two-fifty...

H

[Bear]

... in response to Re: Playing the Devils Advocate..., posted by Howard on Aug 11, 2001

I was just letting someone else, a lurker see that no one here condones it.

bear

[SteveB]

... in response to Playing the Devils Advocate..., posted by Bear on Aug 10, 2001

Bear, this post doesn't sound like you!  Heleln was running around with several girls during her time in manila. Some of the girl's broke off their relations with their mahal's.  I think its all about a person's character.  I f american men and others go to the Philippines and use women, they are hurting people, themselves included.  Then if a girl, maybe her name is helen, does the same thing here, she hurts the man and others, herself included. The cycle continues.  Bear,  I wasn't there, but I know lots of games were going on with this pack of wolves,,,ooops,,,girls.  Some said that one girl had VD.  One was scamming for money, If honey was there,,,danger, danger,,,,,be careful Bear.

[Bear]

... in response to Re: Playing the Devils Advocate..., posted by SteveB on Aug 11, 2001

i was just letting a lurker here see no one approves of this thought process.

bear

[Stephen]

... in response to Playing the Devils Advocate..., posted by Bear on Aug 10, 2001

Bear:

It's comparing apples to oranges.

He came to the Philippines uncommitted.  He had no obligation to her.

When they became engaged they had an obligation to each other to be faithful.

When she came to the U.S. (on his fiance visa...his dollar...etc.) then she was playing under a different set of rules.

Sounds like Helen just wanted to get even.  It was revenge on her part.  Seems pretty clear to me.

Just my opinion.

Stephen

[kevin]

... in response to Re: Playing the Devils Advocate..., posted by Stephen on Aug 11, 2001


I don't beleive it was a matter of getting even.

Although this is just my opinion, I think I'm probably right.  At first, Zebson was uncommitted.  He was trying to get a feel that whomever he committed to, it was not only his love for her, but her love for him.  Helen messed with his mind and his heart.  He was gullible enough to beleive that Helen really loved him.  Deep in hiis heart, Zebson had very special feelings for Helen.  After careful contemplation, he was sure Helen was the one.

Aaaaah!  Helen got him bagged.  Or so she thought.  She messed with his mind and emotions.  She did a good job beforehand of concealing her agenda.  But, fortunately to Zebson's benefit, a hairline crack was revealed shortly after Helen was in this country.  Well, this was no trivial flaw in the relationship.  This doubt was very real and with grave reason.  Helen disgusts me with what she tried to get away with.  But perhaps she's lucky that it was Zebson, and not somebody else, that she messed with.

Poverty isn't good.  I think every body has the fundamental human right to try to improve their lot, provided they don't step on others (thus depriving them of their fundamental rights) in order to get ahead.  But, for Helen?  I hope she lives in poverty for the rest of her life.  She deserves it.  She mercilessly near destroyed the dignity; the heart and soul; of a man capable of loving her and committed to build a lifetime with her because he loved her.  Perhaps, just perhaps, someday Helen might regret what she pulled.  Or perhaps, this will just enable her to train somebody else to be meaner and smarter.

- Kevin

[Ray]

... in response to Playing the Devils Advocate..., posted by Bear on Aug 10, 2001

Well Bear, you just convinced me with your flawless logic and deductive reasoning. Yes, I think she should be able to sneak off and boink (Allan’s term-ROFL) all her pen pals after she gets here and before she decides whether or not she really wants to tie the knot.

In fact, I think congress should amend the current fiancé visa law to allow a 180 day waiting period before you need to get married instead of the current 90 days. That way, all the arriving fiancées could take advantage of a 90 day free boinking period. The petitioner would be responsible to pay all boinking expenses of his/her fiancée/fiancé, including but not limited to: transportation, lodging, meals, condoms, KY Jelly (yeah, they could call it the “KY Visa”), tetracycline, etc.

You see, the smart pen pals would simply bide their time until some other sucker files a KY petition. I mean, why waste all that time and money going for a visit and having all the family members following you around all the time. This way you could get in some free boinking at some other poor slob’s expense and without any silly commitments.

What do you think Hum? Make sense? ;-)

Ray

P.S. OBTW Bear, what the heck have you been smoking anyway?

[kevin]

... in response to OK, now I agree..., posted by Ray on Aug 11, 2001


in my persuit of love with a Filipina.  (OK, don't take this post serious)

There's no point in making such a huge investment, visiting the Philippines for my someone special, doing the K1 thing, etc.  I can't afford that.  I'm not a rich man.  But just the same, I need some luvin'.  I've got a better strategy.  The ends justifies the means after all.

I can wait in the wings for somebody else's fiancee.  Or I can hang out at the disco, and take somebody elses wife.  There's nothing wrong with it afterall.  It's perfectly legal.  It's a woman's right to choose whether or not to give it to me.  And who knows.  If I try to snatch a married Filipina stateside, I might even hit the jack pot from a lucrative divorce settlement.  I couldn't go wrong there.  This sure beats being the sucker to petition somebody over, etc.

- Kevin

[Howard]

... in response to I learned a lesson . . ., posted by kevin on Aug 11, 2001

Kev,

Good idea!  Maybe you could solve both of our problems!  Are you planning on being in the Detroit area anytime soon?  LOL!  I know.. I know, bad joke :c)

H

[Bear]

... in response to OK, now I agree..., posted by Ray on Aug 11, 2001

I sure don't.  

I am not allowed to say where I got this story but I think most people here can figure it out.

Bear

[FL]

... in response to You Agree?  Hmmmmm?, posted by Bear on Aug 11, 2001

Did she walk into interview/St. Lukes with a half dozen G-325As, AOS's, proof of meeting/relationships, with a " I want to check them all out before I decide"?? I don't think this scenario resembles anyones situation....there was that one couple, but weren't they engaged with a tentative wedding date?

[Ray]

... in response to You Agree?  Hmmmmm?, posted by Bear on Aug 11, 2001

Never mind Bear, just forget it...

Ray

[humabdos]

... in response to Playing the Devils Advocate..., posted by Bear on Aug 10, 2001

BULL CRAP!