More on money....

[Bear]

Honey told me last night that her father said he made P60000 last year.  I thought, wow!! Thats less that $1200/year or a $100/month.

Snap (stuck brain parts moving sound)!!!  In the father interview / discussion I told him I was going to send her about P10000 / month ($200) to cover her expenses and college until she could come here.  

No wonder they harass her, they think she is being given twice what they earn.  But Honey being the wonderful wife she is rarely uses P3-4000 so it stays in the bank.   What she uses covers her and her brother's college, the electricity, the phone and water (in other words she spends it all on others not herself).  I had to make her buy an umbrella because she kept getting sick when getting wet traveling to and from college.   I even once made her buy some shoes and chocolates (her mother immediately confiscated the shoes).  I only cover what she asks me for rather that put money's in an account I can use / save here.  

They obviously do not know this!!  They must think she is being selfish because they think she is hording twice what they get and they do not see it or benefit from it.  But in actuallity they get almost all of it.

Bear

[donb2222]

... in response to More on money...., posted by Bear on Aug 1, 2001

Hi Art,
  Money can be a never ending problem, it is very difficult to know how to handle the situation
When I first met Vilma some of her family did think that they had just won the lottery. Occaisionally they would ask for money for this or that, and I just explained that I had spent all my savings on coming to the PI, and I just did not have the extra money to give.  
Vilma's favorite sister asked me one time to borrow 1000
pesos from me.  She is my favorite sister also, so I said yes.  When she saw me six months later she gave me 1000 pesos plus 1000 pesos interest! I declined the interest money, but without hesitating I accepted the return of the
1000 peso loan.  She probably did not expect me to accept
any of the money- but hey- she is the one that called it a loan.
When I first met Vilma she was trying to send her mother 2000 pesos per month, and usually did.  After I asked Vilma to marry me, I told her that I would assume the 2000 per month to her mother, and that she could take over sending the money to her mother after she started working in America.
Vilma then sat down with her entire family and told them that the only person that would receive money would be her mother, and that the rest would only receive the normal birthday and Christmas gifts.
Yes,  Vilma's family has referred to me as "thrifty", and
"very strict with money", but, they always seem happy to see me.
Art,  I'm not sure that this would work for you, or that you are even asking for advice.  I just thought that I would share my experience.

Don

[kevin]

... in response to Re: More on money...., posted by donb2222 on Aug 2, 2001

The word "thrifty" is very familiar.  Since my correspondence began with Analyn, it didn't take long before a friend told her that "I was some thrifty person" because of the "little amount of money" that I sent.  The money issue is pervasive indeed.  Herein lies the seeds of negative stereotypes of the Filipina from the American perspective.  When I was younger, I couldn't quite understand why, but the when people first found out I was interested in Filipina girls, it conjured up images of blood-sucking leeches, and they warned me that I was being set up, etc.  These same people probably knew relatively little about the Philippines, but knew of Imelda Marcos, and have seen or heard cases of the mail-order-bride- sweetheart-swindler squandering the last penny from her husband.

- Kevin

[Bear]

... in response to Re: More on money...., posted by donb2222 on Aug 2, 2001

this is a follow up post to some I made a few months ago on the horrible treatment and "guilt trip" Honey's parents have been putting on her.  

I was livid with anger seeing the way they treated her, making her cry all the time saying things about cruel she was and how she could never repay them for bring her into the world.  

Things like the phone bill hitting P3000/mon bcause her parents allowed neighbors to make long distance calls and expecting Honey to pay for it and the local sari-sari store getting mad at her because she woulgd not allow them to keep the change.  Her mother even a\was going to allow a neighbor to use Honey's wedding dress and shoes for her wedding.

It got so bad that the neighbors who can over hear her parents yelling at her would leer at her and make rude comments as she went places.   She started just staying in her room all the time unless she had to go to school.

We finally resolved the problem by saying that I was laid off because of the slipped disks I have in my neck and later that my company only let me return to work part time.  Then and only then did things go back to normal.

Bear