No positive outcomes

[elcolombiano]

All I hear on this board and others are disaster stories and no positive outcomes. I would like someone to post statistics on the percent of marriages between Gringos and Colombians that stand the test of time. All I read about are women who are green card chasers, gold diggers and who marry and then claim abuse so they can stay in the US without you. All the marriages end in divorce. This makes it worse than AW.  After reading this board for months I  have come to the conclusion that Colombia is not a good place to meet someone to marry but just a place to meet girls, go to fun parties and have a good time. If you get serious with a woman from there, nine times out of ten you will get burned.

[Buck]

... in response to No positive outcomes, posted by elcolombiano on Nov 16, 2002

After posting several times and getting sandbagged I quit.My relationship is going well.If you are interested check the archives.Good luck.Buck

[Hiker]

... in response to No positive outcomes, posted by elcolombiano on Nov 16, 2002

While down there observe the gringos and the girls they are with.  It is discussed on here from time to time regarding age differences etc.  I am sure there are many success stories with a big age difference.  While in Cali I have witnessed what I would call a very disfunctional gringo with a young beautiful hardbody about 25 years younger than him.  I wouldn't put much money on this marriage making it.

It is easy to get on the plane here in the states and be focused about what you are looking for in a woman.  It is almost impossible to remain focused when you walk off the plane in Latin America.  Don't make any permanent decisions on your first trip.  It is not possible to reason on your first trip.  Your mind is not your own at this point.  :-)

[chao]

... in response to No positive outcomes, posted by elcolombiano on Nov 16, 2002

don't make the news.

It seems like you only hear the bad, never the good.  

After being involved in one way or another for more than 8 years, here is how it goes:

Most men who belong to forums like this never make any posts; they are lurkers and fence-sitters.

A minority of the men actually make the trip.

A minority of the men who make the trip get married.

You will hear far, far more horror stories about failed marriages than successful marriages.

The guys with bad experiences have axes to grind.  The guys who have succeeded have moved on to a different phase in their lives.  They don't have time for forums.  They regard the forums as some sort of a school that they've graduated from.

Just my two cents worth,

chao

[El Diablo]

... in response to No positive outcomes, posted by elcolombiano on Nov 16, 2002


In my opinion, success or failure really depends on you and what you bring to the table.  If your a decent guy with realistic expectations you can definitely find a good woman in Colombia who will be interested in you.  The trick is that there will be some less than desirable women interested in you also.  Seperating them and staying focused on the ultimate objective is not always easy.  

I suggest you go to Colombia and meet a lot of women not with the intention of hooking up that first trip but as kind of a learning experience.  On subsequent trips you will find yourself better prepared to become serious with someone.

We read a lot of horror stories on the board for sure.  I think guys who have problems in relationships with gringas will have problems with Latinas also.  Relationships are tough and marrying a Latina is not the answer if a person is not emotionally or psychologically equipped to deal with the day to day problems of married life.

El Diablo

[papa suave]

... in response to No positive outcomes, posted by elcolombiano on Nov 16, 2002

I think there are a great many successful marriages between gringos and latinas. Unfortunately not many post on these forums (maybe they're too busy getting their families started). It's a shame. Once in a while you will find a post from a happily married guy telling of his experiences but not often enough. I also think the success rate is probably fairly low. Unfortunately too many people marry much too early into the relationship (as urged by many of the agencies) before getting to know each other. The successful marriages usually include stories of long courtships, many trips to the muchacha's country, plane tickets, mucha plata being spent, etc. Many people are not willing to spend the kind of money it takes to maintain a successful long term pre marital relationship which is why so many rush into marriage.

[LatinIntro]

... in response to No positive outcomes, posted by elcolombiano on Nov 16, 2002

Men who find a successful marriage usually do not come back and post... Men who do not have a succesfull marriage do come back and post. The same principal applies to these forums as it does in life, bad news travels first.

[Pete E]

... in response to No positive outcomes, posted by elcolombiano on Nov 16, 2002

It seems sometimes you hear more the horror stories here than success.At least the horror stories get alot of attention.
Alot of guys just go away after they have married.
Of the people I know personally,as in having spent some time with them and kept in touch,its 5 successes to zip.I count myself here.I know a number of people from this board who are doing well also,and several guys in the process of marriage I think will do well.Actually I don't know anyone personally who has a horror story.
I think if you read back you will find many successes here.Hoda,Wayne 1,Rob(who mostly posts on LWL now),Patrick and alot off others I forgot.Even on this list I think the successes outweight the problems,but we hear less about them.
If you are somewhat smart in how you go about it the chance of success is high I think,like 80% - 90% or so.Even the worst behaving mistake prone guys don't fail 90% of the time.And many who do learn from it and do it better next time.Dallas Steve,who had a huge horror story seems to be doing better with his new girl he brought here.And he didn't wait around,just went and got another one,which is what I would do in that situation.
Got a better idea?Go for it.Hint.Its not Russia.

Pete

[Patrick]

... in response to No positive outcomes, posted by elcolombiano on Nov 16, 2002

If I had read forums like this one and others when I was searching, I wouldn't be married now.  I was already skeptical to begin with and it would defintely have pushed me over the edge.  Some of the marriages we've seen fail had red flags at the start, both with the men and the women.  There are some others where nothing was apparent, at least from what was posted.

Perhaps the negativity will force some of the totally unrealistic men out of the market.  I think a forum like this is a good counter balance to some of the nirvana stuff being preached by some agencies.  It's not an easy thing to find a good marriage this way.  At least the men reading these forums are more realistic as a result and won't be a fool about it.  I think the danger is that some will form a really negative opinion of the ladies and go down with a chip on their shoulder assuming every lady is a "green card shark."  I don't think that's the cause of all the divorces.  I think it's just bad marriages to begin with and the majority of women do not marry simply as part of a plan to get here.  Certainly those types do exist, but I don't think the majority of failed marriages were to ladies like that.