Backgrounds of the Ladies and their families

[elcolombiano]

When you meet the Colombian ladies how do you know they and their families have honorable backgrounds?

[Edge]

... in response to Backgrounds of the Ladies and their fami..., posted by elcolombiano on Oct 11, 2002

I remembered another time where a friend of mine was corresponding with a woman in Cali.  At that time my wife was still living in Cali and we were working our way through the K1 visa process.  This lady was beautiful but there were red flags that started fluttering before my friend's eyes. He asked me to maybe have my wife meet this lady and check her out.

My wife said sure... So this woman agrees to meet my wife.  Only one problem, she never shows.  My wife tried two or three times to meet with her and she never shows.. She makes excuses like she was there below the apartment but then no one answered.  She was not very creative in her excuses.  She supposedly worked as a hairdresser so my wife would try to call her there and many times she was unavailable.  To be honest my friend thought maybe she was a prostitute.  He is a little more suspicious than I as I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.  I never mentioned what my friend thinks about this woman to my wife but she starts to mention to me that there is something very suspicious about this woman.. She tells me that sometimes beauty salons are fronts for prostitution and she is beginning to think this may be the case with this place.  One time the woman called my wife and my wife has caller i.d.  The woman tells her that she has been very busy that day with many appointments.  My wife checks the caller i.d. and it was a "motel".  In Cali they use motels almost exclusively to hook up.  So my wife came to the same conclusion as my friend.

If you have trusted friends in Cali they can always help.

Edge

[Edge]

... in response to Backgrounds of the Ladies and their fami..., posted by elcolombiano on Oct 11, 2002

You are on the right track with checking out the family of any lady you are interested in.  

By gettting to know the family you learn how the children were raised. Another good reason to learn Spanish is to be able to talk to the parents who most of the time do not know how to speak English.  They will more than likely tell you stories and talk about the character of their children.

I had to use my judgement about my wife and her family.  They made it easy though to see they were on the up and up.

I had another girlfriend whose parents had both been killed and she was very reluctant to talk about it.  I believe it had to do with the narco trafickers.  She was raised by her abuela so I spent alot of time talking to her.  Her abuela was very strict with her, possibly too strict because she left her home as soon as she could after turning 18.  Most of the time the girls stay with the family until they marry.  

I had to use my judgement with the families.

Edge

[Aaron]

... in response to Backgrounds of the Ladies and their fami..., posted by elcolombiano on Oct 11, 2002

Well, this is my adivce for dating any woman. Meet with the one you are interested in. If you are sincerely interested in her, then meet her family. If you are not sincerely interested in her, then don't waste her and your time.

Now, out of experience with Colombian people, both men and women, Colombians are generally not the pushy types. They generally aren't desperate people. And they generally take their time getting to know a person. Religiously, they are generally catholics, but from my experience I have never met an extremely devote Colombian catholic. I'm sure there are some, but my point is that they are not religious extremists. However, for marriage, most Colombianas will not marry unless the person is either a Catholic or Protestant.

Communication ***** This is a kicker. It took me more than a year to figure this out on my own. Colombian women are the best at asking a man many different types of questions just to see how he will respond. Even if they don't agree with the guy, they'll act like they do just to learn more about the guy, or to get what they want. I don't think this is a bad thing. However, I always keep this in mind that I need to be honest and clear about what I say and feel.

Families ***** Colombian families are very hospitable and open. They will be happy to meet the new guy, and sit with you for many hours talking and showing you things, even with language barriers. Be careful if the family doesn't accept you, proceed with caution. Always meet the little children. Generally, they way the little children act within the household is a good indication of what they learn from the adults.

If you are nterested in a girl, show up with a small gift for her family. Don't spend too much. Respect her parents, especially the mother.

Take your time, and let them know up front why your there.

Aaron

[Cali vet]

... in response to I think...., posted by Aaron on Oct 11, 2002

Good post. That's it in a nutshell.

[elcolombiano]

... in response to Re: I think...., posted by Cali vet on Oct 11, 2002

Prostitution is rampent in Colombia. Dating a woman with this type of backgroud is one thing but marrying one is another. How do I know the lady I meet does not have a back ground in this line of work?

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: Re: I think...., posted by elcolombiano on Oct 12, 2002

I'm sorry but this is kind of a foolish question.  Prostitution may be rampant in the cities of Colombia but if one in a hundred women are prostitutes,  I'd be shocked.  So if you're worried about distinguishing the one women who might be a prostitute from the other ninety nine who aren't , I'd say you're suffering from a severe case of paranoia.

El Diablo

[elcolombiano]

... in response to I think...., posted by El Diablo on Oct 13, 2002

Thank you. I once went to Costa Rica and it was really confusing. Maybe it is different in Colombia.

[Aaron]

... in response to Re: Re: I think...., posted by elcolombiano on Oct 12, 2002

[This message has been edited by Aaron]

if prostitution is so prevelent in Colombia?

Your profile says that you are interested in Eastern Europeans. Well, Europe has a known history of being sexually open, and swinging and prostitution is not seen
as such a taboo in Europe as it is in Latin America, especially Colombia.

No, prostitution is not rampent in Colombia as one would tend to believe, even inspite of the domestic problems the country and people face.

Aaron

[elcolombiano]

... in response to How do you know..., posted by Aaron on Oct 12, 2002

I am very offended by your malicious defamatory insinuation that my sole purpose going to Colombia is to look for prostitutes. The sole purpose of my interest in Colombia is to meet a nice woman to marry. I have no interest in meeting prostitutes. I was posting on this board to get advice on how to verify that if I meet someone I like how to verify they and their family has an honorable background.  

I looked at my profile and it does say I am interested in eastern Europeans. I was introduced a while ago to very nice Russian women visiting the states. She did not speak any English and I speak no Russian. Communication was very difficult. In 5 hours we discussed something I can discuss in English or Spanish with someone else in 5 minutes.

I request an apology from you.

[Aaron]

... in response to Re: How do you know..., posted by elcolombiano on Oct 12, 2002

[This message has been edited by Aaron]

I give you an apology. Don't worry about meeting a woman who's a prostitute. Use your instincts. And take time to get to know her. If she's not the one, you'll know.

I'll delete my comment.

Sorry

Aaron

[elcolombiano]

... in response to I apologize. , posted by Aaron on Oct 12, 2002

Aaron

Thank you,

You are a true Gentleman.

Alan

[Aaron]

... in response to Re: I apologize. , posted by elcolombiano on Oct 12, 2002

El Colombiano,
You're the gentleman. I didn't have any right to make that kind of insinuation. And your compliment makes me feel more ashamed, but I feel good that you looked over my comment. Thank you.

Con mucha sinceridad,
Aaron