My latest Bogota trip

[lswote]

This weekend I am back in Bogota for 2 days.  I got in Friday night and I fly back to Florida first thing Monday morning.  I had scheduled appointments ahead of time, primarily with 2 girls I met on the last trip but also a couple new ones.  My interests were torn between a 37 year old woman who reminds me a lot of Martha and a 30 year old woman who I really didn´t have a good read on other than she was passionate with a great attitude and smile and she made me feel great talking to her.

It has been a learning process about who to ask out and how to persue the girls.  Many people have offered advice on this board about the process and much of it is accurate, but some things can only be figured out firsthand.  Nonetheless I have been listening to the advice given here as well as the agency.  Probably the biggest change I made to my approach to choosing who to ask for dates since my first visit to Bogota 6 weeks ago was to not limit myself to English speakers and to try to meet women at the socials as well as women from the books.  The 30 year old girl fit both criteria, she speaks pretty much only Spanish and I met her at a social.

I had thought the 37 year old woman was the better choice for me because she was older, spoke passable English, had 2 kids, which meant she was more settled, had a visa and she was the physical type I usually find myself attracted to.  She had one negative, she was in the process of getting divorced.  The 30 year old has no kids, is a bit young for her age and has no visa.  But she does have great eyes and a killer smile and very attractive, just not quite the physical type I usually go for.

So anyway, I had a date scheduled with the 37 year old Friday night and one with the 30 year old on Sunday.  Well the 37 doesn´t show up for the date Friday night and doesn´t call to say she isn´t coming and is unreachable by phone.  I was really surprised by this because up till this time she has been very gracious and reliable.  Saturday morning the agency gets hold of her and she says she has decided she is just not ready to date right now.  She claimed she had told someone at the agency that she wasn´t coming for the date Friday night but when that person was talked to, they said that it was just the opposite, the girl had said she was coming because she needed to talk to me.  The agency person got on the phone with the girl and ended up telling the girl she was lying and the girl hung up on the agency person.   The girl may be delisted at the agency now.  Basically the girl took the low road to solving a problem.  She didn´t want to face me with the truth that she didn´t want to see me anymore so she fabricated a story, but unfortunately got caught.  Hmmmm, this girl exhibited poor behavior just like Martha did.  Am I just lousy at picking girls or what?

Meanwhile, the 30 year old who seemed like an iffy prospect ... well after getting dumped by the 37 year old, I called her, she was delighted to see me earlier than my Sunday date, we had 2 dates Saturday and I proposed to her on the second one.  And I still have all day to spend with her today.

The lesson I learned from all this is what so many people have been preaching here on the board.  Give your attention to the women who let you know they are interested in you, even if they aren´t quite the type you like.  You never know where it will take you.

By the way ... I saw Martha in passing at the agency on this trip.  I said hi, and went on my way.  I was okay with seeing her this time.

[Aaron]

... in response to My latest Bogota trip, posted by lswote on Oct 13, 2002

Iswote,

Now, I'm sure I have the reputation of coming across kind of opinionated and direct in my posts, and I try to rationalize everything. But, I'm not posting to be hard on you.

Well, I think you did act desperately. However, I think you have just started in this process, and you will learn as you go. A person makes mistakes, and hopefully they learn from them.

I do have some sympathy for you because many of the agency websites advertise that a "guy can find a beautiful and loving wife in two weeks." That's a lie, but many gringos have fallen for it. It's basically false advertising, and it seems that the advertising agencies are saying that to play on 1.) the desperation of men, and 2.) men's visual nature of being attacted to physical appearances first, then compatibility second.

However, this does not excuse a lack of common sense on your part.

All I have to say is, if this thing doesn't work out, and your not happy, then get up and try again. But, take a better approach next time.

Aaron

[lswote]

... in response to My latest Bogota trip, posted by lswote on Oct 13, 2002

I didn´t make it clear in my post, but I have known the girl for awhile.  I first met her at an agency party 6 weeks ago but didn´t pay any attention to her because she spoke only Spanish and wasn´t my ideal physical type.  It was only when the folks at the agency asked me to reconsider Spanish speaking girls that I made an effort to get to know her.  I have been seeing and talking to her along with another girl since my last visit 2 weeks ago but was unsure of the direction to go with either girl.  I had only one date scheduled with her this weekend because I was only in town for 2 days and I was seeing the 2 girls I was interested in, along with several new ones.

The other girl made more sense looking at the way I normally pick girls, but this girl has really been showing me her interest in me the last couple weeks and things finally to a place where I made a decision.

Sorry for the confusion.

[hankkh]

... in response to Re: My latest Bogota trip, posted by lswote on Oct 14, 2002

Iswote, I would go with your intstincts on this. Love is an illogicial process. You can't analize it too much. The people on this board flaming you don't put on your shoes everyday. You have experienced dissapointment with Martha and wish you the best with your new friend.

[outwest77]

... in response to Re: My latest Bogota trip, posted by lswote on Oct 14, 2002

Still to me it sounds about like your second date with her,
and less than 2 weeks from the time you first met her,
I dont think that changes any of our opinions, we all feel if a guy goes to colombia, for 2 weeks and gets engaged, hes nuts.

[mudd]

... in response to My latest Bogota trip, posted by lswote on Oct 13, 2002

if this story is correct, and you already popped the question after a few days,then im sure your marriage will last about as long.

[outwest77]

... in response to My latest Bogota trip, posted by lswote on Oct 13, 2002

What kind of a guy would propose on the second date, better yet what type of woman would accept, that proposal,
Can you spell D E S P E R A T E....or I N S A N E

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to My latest Bogota trip, posted by lswote on Oct 13, 2002

iswote:

I proposed to a lady in Bogota in 1999.  We had only known each other for a few days.  We spent a few more days together and I came back to the US to start the visa paperwork.  A few weeks later she stopped receiving my phone calls.  Why?  I don't know.  I've never heard from her again.  Perhaps she realized that she didn't really know me that well after just a few days together.  Maybe she met someone else.

You're rushing into this at a speed that makes me look like a turtle.  Don't be surprised if she changes her mind soon, if you don't come to your senses first.  You seem to be able to make frequent trips to Colombia.  Why not spend some more time getting to know her?  For your sakes I hope you don't get married on the next trip.

Steve

[Bueller]

... in response to My latest Bogota trip, posted by lswote on Oct 13, 2002

"For the rest of our lives..."

 Think about this sentence long and hard-- for at least the amount of time you've known this woman.

[outwest77]

... in response to My latest Bogota trip, posted by lswote on Oct 13, 2002

Same, if its not a typo, ur one of the reasons men going to other countries in search of women get a bad name, Are you that desperate, geez i went to the philippines for 3 months this year and spent it all with my gf and still have not  proposed, its a big step, you act likes its ordering a drink.

[Wasp]

... in response to proposed, posted by outwest77 on Oct 13, 2002

Would you propose to a woman you knew for a day here in the USA?

Dude, you need to slow down and get a grip.

You've got the time and money to jet down there frequently.
Maybe you should consider renting an apartment in Bogota for a month. Give yourself more time to know someone. Take the pressure off yourself. This isn't a race.

[wizard]

... in response to My latest Bogota trip, posted by lswote on Oct 13, 2002

"we had 2 dates Saturday and I proposed to her on the second one"

Please tell me this is a typo... You have known this person for a whole day and you propose to her??? If so, I hope you know what your doing...

[Red Clay]

... in response to hope you know what your doing..., posted by wizard on Oct 13, 2002

[This message has been edited by Red Clay]

N/T