No more self-abuse...

[Zebson]

... in response to On second thought..., posted by Dave H2O on Jun 27, 2001

How about a bunch of valium...qualudes or a hit of african red via shotgun bong...Any of the above would bring cooperation. Of course half a bottle of 1968 Glenndronnich single malt Scotch would work too..Heck why not that with all of the above..)))))

Zeb

[Dave H2O]

... in response to Re: On second thought..., posted by Zebson on Jun 27, 2001

Hi Zeb,

That would work well too. ;o))) In my previous posts I didn't say why I had to pick her up and carry her. LOL You busted me!

Disclaimer: I am a professional. Don't try this at home! Though factual, my posts are intended for entertainment purposes only. ;o))

Dave H.

[Zebson]

... in response to ROFL!, posted by Dave H2O on Jun 27, 2001

Dave...it is clear I think to most that you have talents as an entertainer that reach far beyond your knowledge and exploits in EM and the fire department...Don't underestimate  and let go to waste that great of imagination of yours....)

Zeb

[Dave H2O]

... in response to Re: ROFL!, posted by Zebson on Jun 27, 2001

Zeb,

If Humbarfdos doesn't eat it first, you have just become the winner of a slightly used purple G-string. Keep those kind words coming. ) Either way, I must send it to Kevin first so that he can "gas" it for termites and sand fleas. ;o))

Dave H.

[Zebson]

... in response to Re: Re: ROFL!, posted by Dave H2O on Jun 27, 2001

Bras and panties..My Mahal just bought a bunch that were on sale, sort of a celebration for her new job..She didn't waste time letting me know she hated sitting at home... so I had a friend of mine hook her up at Kaiser as a Data Entry person. I don't think she would approve of me stealing her thunder by having a G string brunch..unless of course it had simmered in some Chicken Adobo for a bit first..Ok?

Zeb

[Dave H2O]

... in response to Re: It's in the mail!, posted by jim in the pis on Jun 27, 2001

Hi Jim,

I would rather get charged with domestic violence or kidnapping for  taking a depressed or suicidal/homicidal wife to the shrink, than sit around and watch her kill herself or her family. There are good samaritan laws which help also. If you are the husband and have a scheduled doctors or counselors appointment, I see less problems. Tell the doctor about your situation. Usually people can be convinced to go, sometimes "white" lies are needed. I spent 20 years getting patients to do what they didn't want to. Sometimes with physical force, but most often by using my brains. I have been accused several times of kidnapping for saving someone's life. I never lost sleep over it or ever heard about it again. The fact is you can get charged with domestic violence just because you're alive and breathing. It doesn't mean you will go to jail for a few weeks, be convicted or even see a courtroom. In the US, unless the incident is witnessed by police or the spouse seriously injured, the injured party usually has to file charges with the state's attorneys office for any recourse or a restraining order. The police may write a report. Most police know that the woman will usually come back for more abuse and don't want to be bothered. The guys that seem to go to jail are the drunk ones that get belligerent. I saw it almost every day. I have even seen beaten women go to jail when they got out of control with the police. Their husbands or boyfriends walked, unless they got out of control too, which was usually the case. I would be more concerned in the Philippines however. It seems all you have to do is be accused to be arrested, especially if you are a Kano.

I am an internationally certified pressure points control / violent patient management instructor. I can make most people tiptoe through the tulips like they enjoy it. I can also make them go to sleep whenever I want. I am able to accomplish a great deal more than the average person without others being aware of what I am doing. One thing I would say that gets most people into legal problems is their big mouths. Witnesses don't forget threats of violence. When I subdue a violent person or render them unconscious I am careful as to what I say. I will usually say, "Please don't hurt me!" which is more for the witnesses. They never forget that I was the victim even when the assailant didn't stand a chance.

Dave H.

[Ray]

... in response to It's in the mail!, posted by Dave H2O on Jun 26, 2001

Dave,

You better put that thing in a HAZMAT disposal bag before you mail it!

Yum Yum Hum! Chocolate fudge G-string for breakfast...:-)

Ray

[kevin]

... in response to Re: It's in the mail!, posted by Ray on Jun 26, 2001


Chocolate fudge flavor, of chocolate SULFudge?

- Kevin

[jon]

... in response to Re: Listen to Dave H!, posted by humabdos on Jun 26, 2001

Don't forget to floss when you are done! 8O

Jon

[Jimbo]

... in response to Re: Listen to Dave H!, posted by humabdos on Jun 26, 2001

nt

[Dave H2O]

... in response to That promise is on the record!!! n/t, posted by Jimbo on Jun 26, 2001

N/T

[jim in the pis]

... in response to No more self-abuse..., posted by Howard on Jun 26, 2001

howard,
i really dont have the answer, but let me tell you what happen here. joanne will all of a sudden come up with "you dont love me anymore" yesterday was one of those days. i now just answer her with "if you dont think i love you, then go out the door and dont't come back". this seems to get her attention, she says you really dont care if i leave? i say i will not be unhappy because of not having you.
and in a few minutes, the filipino trait of the whole world is falling is gone.
filipino's seem to love to gospic and to think they are in the worst possible situation in the world. like their driving seeing is beleiving!
i think you are reaching the point of having to send her home for a while, maybe her life in the us is too easy, and she may realize that maybe she didn't have it so bad after all in the states. to me i think she has just quit trying!
jim

[jim in the pis]

... in response to Re: No more self-abuse..., posted by jim in the pis on Jun 26, 2001

howard,
sorry i forgot to anaswer the spending time togethr think. since i stay over here, i am with joanne 24 hrs a day. she realizes thast i need my friends and people i have met over here, and that i do consulting work and am gone for several days at a time. it was really hard for her to accept it, but i told her these are things i must do, and she is ok with it now, but it took several times to get the point across, even to the point of " there is the door"
jim

[midnightgirl]

... in response to No more self-abuse..., posted by Howard on Jun 26, 2001

Howard,

I understand what you felt right now with your wife. I don't know how to give an advice for the best of your marriage but i guess it's only you and her who could work out your relationship and spend sometimes with her, take a one week leave and take her anywhere to other places
if she doesn't change then give her an "ULTIMATUM" that you will separate or divorce her and return her to the Philippines. As i realize that she made your mother cry, there something wrong with her.

My husband spent 24 hours a day with me since we had the same work together and work schedule. We do have some minor fights and misunderstanding but we make it up before we go to bed or on the next day. I am very open to my husband, we always appreciate the things we did to each other. We're one year now  and still our marriage is good. I don't remember that there  is something i give up for him nor did he because we always go together like shopping , even watching TV/movie or if he plays bowling i go with him and just watch at him.

I wish all things will work out with you and Ayesa.

[kevin]

... in response to No more self-abuse..., posted by Howard on Jun 26, 2001

Howard, I've been following your posts.  It just sickens me.  I don't want to be too quick to jump to conclusions, but I think you're in a helpless, hopeless situation with that kind of relationship.  I think it's time to start thinking about what to do to protect yourself even if it won't be easy.  The longer you try vainly to hang-on to this and jump-start the "relationship", the more time she'll have to gain power (I mean legally over you), and if she dislikes you that much, this misery you're now experiencing is the tip of the iceberg.

Talk to us.  Talk to your friends and family. Perhaps a psychiatrist. As I think of it, I think it's time to talk to a lawyer too.  Divorce will be a tough decision if you're the one to formally initiate it, but you have to think about protecting your skin.

I read your post today about you saying you've alienated her because you didn't give her enough attention.  Well, my gut feeling is that's a bunch of crap, and it was not your fault.  You have to work for a living.  Fortunately (provided there was true love to begin with) you could be home every night.  From the point of view in the Philippines, how about when a spouse is forced to work several years overseas on a contract because that's the only way to help the family (such as putting the kids through school)?  From that perspective, if Ayesa really loved you, she should have been glad that she could have more of a normal family life with you.

It is not your fault about neglect.  As long as you did not commit adultery, physically abuse her, or otherwise hurt her where it would hurt most, you have no control over her attitude about you.  I've been told things along that line too, and heard the same kinds of things said about other guys that were ditched and trampled upon.

I think you've given it a fair shot with Ayesa.  If deep down in her heart she loves you, then she would be willing to make the effort to do things with you.  Your time not spent working would be doing activities with Ayesa, anything. I bet now, you must have a very difficult time concentrating on your job.  I'm sure you just can't sleep either. But it seems she's very cold to you.  My ex was the same way, but not that soon into the marriage.  Believe me, it hurts like hell.

May God be watching over you, may He help you through this, and may you be happy in the future!

- Kevin