Maybe god just hates me

[lswote]

Well I decided I had to move on and get over Martha.  I didn´t know her for that long but I really fell for her and am having a hard time moving on but I realized I have to.  But I really love Bogota and decided to give LAI in Bogota one more try.  So I got here last night for a small 5 day tour they are having.  Only 5 or 6 guys, very low key compared to the tour with 21 guys a month ago when I met Martha.  I figured there wasn´t much chance of running into Martha with such a small bunch of guys.  But about 45 minutes ago I get the heads up that Martha had an interview with one of the guys this afternoon.  I was in the middle of an interview myself so as soon as the interview finished I asked when Martha was coming and found out she was already late for it.  I don´t have another appointment until 6:00 so I figured I would go to a mall and walk around awhile to avoid seeing her.  Too late.  I head for the door and in she walks.  Well all my resolve is practically nothing now.  She looked stunning.

God must hate me.

[elcolombiano]

... in response to Maybe god just hates me, posted by lswote on Sep 26, 2002

Listen to me, I am an old man and have dated many women in my life time and have had many failed relationships.
When you are involved with someone you realy like and it does not work out and you see the person again, in your eyes they always look much better than they really are. Your eyes are decieving you. She may be hot, but she is not nearly as hot as you think think she is. It is like a mirage.

Remember, you are in Bogota where las mujeres son como los trambias, hay una en cada esquina (the women are like the trams there is one on every corner).

[JunFan]

... in response to Re: Maybe god just hates me, posted by elcolombiano on Sep 26, 2002

"When you are involved with someone you realy like and it does not work out and you see the person again, in your eyes they always look much better than they really are. Your eyes are decieving you. She may be hot, but she is not nearly as hot as you think think she is. It is like a mirage."

~~This man speaks the truth.

JunFan out.

http://www.sparhard.com/colombia.htm

[Pete E]

... in response to Maybe god just hates me, posted by lswote on Sep 26, 2002

Bruce,
Martha is another good reason not to go to Bogota again.You need to get her out of your head to move on with other girls.
Try to avoid her,even tell the staff to try and keep your interviews apart.This can be torture,avoid it as much as possible.
If god does hate you she will hit it off with one of the other guys and you will know all about it.Sorry,just joking.Avoid any imformation about her like the plauge.
Reminds me of the joke about the guy that looses it all,gets it all back and then looses it again.He says "why me god"?A voice out of the sky says "because you piss me off."
Heads up Bruce.Avoid her.Find someone else.Avoid Bogota next time.

Pete

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: Maybe god just hates me, posted by Pete E on Sep 26, 2002

Running into her might actually be a good thing.  I think Bruce's emotions have not yet caught up with the cold truth about Martha's lack of interest.  Seeing her at the agency and accepting dates from other guys might help him close this bad chapter sooner rather than later.  It's better to get the hurt over with now than have it linger on and on.  In the land of plenty, the worst thing Bruce can do is be thinking of Martha when there's other women better suited to him just waiting.

El Diablo

[Jim L]

... in response to Re: Maybe god just hates me, posted by Pete E on Sep 26, 2002


"...Reminds me of the joke about the guy that looses it all,gets it all back and then looses it again.He says "why me god"?..."

The guy's name wasn't Job by any chance was it? ;-)

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Maybe god just hates me, posted by Jim L on Sep 26, 2002

No,but it might be the basis of a old  joke I have heard in several forms.Actually I don't buy it,I don't think god has it in for anybody but does give us enough rope to hang ourselves.

Pete

[Jebster]

... in response to Maybe god just hates me, posted by lswote on Sep 26, 2002

She sent you a very loud and clear signal that you were not for her. She has seen you and knows you are there. So, if she's interested, she'll let you know. Don't get your hopes up.

But, you are very lucky to be back so soon. You will find one you like who will like you too. Just keep working at it and be patient, not desperate.

Good luck and please keep us posted.

[lswote]

... in response to Maybe god just hates me, posted by lswote on Sep 26, 2002

All the points made so far are valid ones. I was just reacting to the moment.  Things just timed badly.  Tomorrow I have over a half dozen appointments scheduled and if she had come by tomorrow there is a very good chance I would be out of the agency on an appointment and wouldn´t have seen her.

[Jim L]

... in response to Maybe god just hates me, posted by lswote on Sep 26, 2002


...He doesn't need to.  You're giving yourself enough grief as it is.

Listen, I know how you feel. When I like a gal she stays liked for a long time, too. I'm not so sure this is entirely a bad thing either. But when our feelings are not shared reciprocally we do a disservice to ourselves by persuing what wasn't meant to be, never existed, or whatever, instead of just moving on.

After just a month you've decided to return to Bogota and step up to the plate again at the very same agency where you met Martha...and guess who walks in. OK, maybe bad luck but c'mon is this really a million to one shot? If you walked into your hometown 7-11 and saw Martha there, then OK, I might start scratching my head and wondering about the divine's sense of humor, too :-D but you'll admit yourself this is very different.

You'll forgive me for saying so but it's clearly not the hand of God here as much the hand of Mr. Iswote. I'm not trying to bust your pelotas here either but it seems you've deliberately put yourself in a situation where it's very easy to run into just the person you should be staying away from - and after just a very short time.

As long as you've made the decision to go, and are in Bogota now, why not try to focus exclusively on finding someone new and forget Martha and who she interviews with. You're in the perfect place for it - only this time with the benefit of hindsight.

....and I'm sure you recall the maxim of "who God helps"

Best of luck to you

Jim L

[pablo]

... in response to Re: God doesn't hate you..., posted by Jim L on Sep 26, 2002

Hi Bruce,

Even though it may have been uncomfortable seeing Martha again under those circumstances, it might be good to have an attitude of caring, yet being cool about it also.  One aspect that I don't think was covered earlier was the possibility that she felt you were falling for her too quickly and she wanted to pull up on the reins and slow things down a bit.  Don't avoid her, but if you run into her again I would recommend being polite, somewhat interested, but not give the impression you are on the chase or a love sick moose.  That just might drive her crazy and make her think it was more than you falling for the first pretty lady.  It might also get her thinking about you in a different light.

I got shot down by a beautiful lady at the same agency you are at during my first trip and after I returned home I sent her a simple birthday email card two months later.  Guess what?  A nice relationship developed between us since then and we are both looking forward to seeing each other again soon.  She knows I will be seeing other ladies when I return, but talk about a night and day difference in attitude.  I'm not saying the same will happen to you, as you might find someone who you like even better or maybe Martha really isn't interested in you.  Lots of times, the timing of the chase has to be just right.  Don't give up on her just yet and have a wait and see attitude.

Another aspect is not to have a self imposed idea of having to find "THE" woman on your first trip.  I don't know if you joined as a lifetime member or not but if you can afford it and take time off work, make multiple trips down to the BOG.  Besides taking advantage of your membership pesos, it will give you an opportunity to meet many different ladies and you can zero in on some nice ones later.  Your comment about giving it one more try made me think of this.  I know a couple guys who have made many multiple trips.  You should see the caliber of lady this one guy got!!!  Treat all the women graciously as word gets around.  If they think you are a player then you attract the players.  If you are a nice guy they find that out too and you will end up with a great lady.  

Have a good time down there the next couple days.

Just curious, which one is you on the latest tour photos?

[lswote]

... in response to Re: Be Cool and Cordial, posted by pablo on Sep 27, 2002

If you can view the picture in the link I am the second guy from the right wearing the blue shirt with my arm around the girl.

http://latinintro.com/images/tours/20020826/fullimages/tpDcp_05120826_f.jpg

[pablo]

... in response to Re: Re: Be Cool and Cordial, posted by lswote on Sep 27, 2002

Hey Bruce,

Nice photo of you all and Martha looks like a sweetheart.  That must not be Martha M. (31 y.o.) I was thinking of.

[lswote]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Be Cool and Cordial, posted by pablo on Sep 27, 2002

That was not a picture of Martha, but another girl who happened to be near when they snapped the picture.  You are correct, the Martha I am talking about is Martha M who is 31 yrs old.

[Wayne1]

... in response to Maybe god just hates me, posted by lswote on Sep 26, 2002

Iswote,

You are in women chasing paradise and you are crying about one girl you barely know.

Helloooo,  man get on with the chase.  You leave the US to get away from that crap.  Have fun man.

If you can't have fun in Colombia, you need to look in the mirror, because maybe you are packing some problems into your luggage when you go to the airport.

If Bogota is uncomfortable, get on the plane to Cali.  It's warmer there in many ways.

Good luck,

Wayne