Advise

[Sam Club]

Hi All:
Just looking for a little advise (for a friend).  Here is the scenario.  "My friend" has been recently in contact with a married but recently separated Colombiana (married to a gringo).  She was living here in the US.  She is willing to come back because she still has a green card from her marriage.  My friend is thinking about sending her money to visit him.  They have always been friends even before she married the gringo.  My question is, although they are going through a divorce (it's not final) is she allowed to come back?

[El Diablo]

... in response to Advise, posted by Sam Club on Aug 14, 2002

If she has not been in the U.S. for 2 years than her green card or residency is considered ''conditional''. A divorce prior to the green card becoming permanent could affect her status in the United States but there are exceptions.  Bottom line, if she has a green card today, I don't see why she would not be able to travel.  

Now the above was the advice you solicited, but I can't help but say that your "friend" is absolutely nuts to be thinking about getting involved with a woman who is separated, not yet divorced and most likely on the rebound.  I hear these stories of Colombianas turning to gringo "friends" when their marriage has problems.  Some of these gringos are so starved for attention and their egos so fragile, that they enter into relationships like this that are most likely doomed to failure and to be honest a bit sleazy.  OK maybe I'm moralizing a bit but it just strikes me as very sorted.  Another thing to consider is that her husband is the person who sponsered her with Spousal VISA.  He is legally responsible for her debts while in the United States.  I think your "friend" would be taking advantage of that situation.

El Diablo

[Sam Club]

... in response to Advise, posted by El Diablo on Aug 15, 2002

Thank you El Diablo for your opinion and advise.  My friend and her were very good friends prior to her marriage to this pathetic gringo.  It is our belief that he only married her for her exotic looks and her tan skin, and not for love.  Well either the exoticism wore off and/or the pressure from his family and friends were a little too much, so he basically kicked her out.  Actually, he paid more attention to his dog than he did to her.

That is all water under the bridge now!  She is back in Colombia surviving.  Nevertheless, my friend see's a future between them two, and I'm trying to help them.  This entire situation has made me think about the fellows I have known over the years who married for all the wrong reasons.  I hope all of you who read this think with the "correct" head prior to asking someone to marry you.

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: Advise, posted by Sam Club on Aug 15, 2002


Fair enough however my experience with both gringos and Colombianas is that there are always two sides to every story.  Maybe the husband is a big jerk as you suggest but if this is so what does it say about her judgement of men.  The fact that she would consider jumping into another gringo relationship so quickly says something also.  Heck she's not even divorced, yet she's already found an old friend willing to bring her to the States and start a new relationship.

I think your gringo friend would be wise to put things on hold and at least wait for her to get divorced.  I agree that guys should think with the big head but getting involved with a seperated woman who is on the rebound strikes me as a poor example of how to do it.

Also I think that if the your friend wants the girl to come to the United States then he should be the one sponsoring her and be the one financially responsible.  He should wait for the divorce and for her status to be adjusted back.  Then if he's really serious about her he can bring her over on a K-1 or spousal VISA himself.  Why should her ex be responsible for her while she's off with her new gringo lover.

El Diablo

[markxport]

... in response to Advise, posted by El Diablo on Aug 15, 2002

El Diablo makes some very valid points in regards to timing and availability.  Is she legally and emotionally available to start a new relationship?  Only she knows that!  

However, I have to disagree with starting back at square 1 on the travel issue.  If she has a valid green card (temporary or permanent), and she or her friend is footing the bill for the travel and visit, then the ex-husband doesn't and shouldn't factor in this equation.

This issue has two seperate parts to it, and should be treated as such.  I know there are some guys out there that may resent this opinion, especially if they footed the bill to get a woman here initially, but perhaps this goes back to the issue of being a little more selective in the first place ..... Yes, I know it's easy to be a Monday morning quarterback, but we are all responsible for our own actions...

Not sure who use to use this phrase (Hoda?), but "Check yourself, before you Wreck yourself" seems somewhat appropriate.  Just my opinion, and I sincerely hope the regulars here don't find themselves in this unfortunately situation.

Take care,

Mark

[El Diablo]

... in response to Agree & Disagree, posted by markxport on Aug 15, 2002


Hi Mark,

But he does factor in to the situation because he is legally responsible for her finances while she is in the United States and that would include her time with the new gringo novio.  That's the reason for the Affidavit of Support.  Anyway for me this isn't about him footing the bill initially, rather this is about who is legally responsible for her in the future going forward. She travelled to the United States on a spousal visa and was ONLY granted residency because she was his wife.  Furthermore the residency is "conditional"  and made permanent after 2 years but the couple should still be married and show evidence that the marriage is legitimate.  

I'm not an attorney but I don't believe a conditional resident has the right to remain in the United States if her marriage ends to the person who sponsored her.  In the story Sam told us, the divorce is in the works and because it is not final she apparently still has her green card.  

To me this looks like a golden opportunity for an opportunist gringo to get around the intent of the original immigration law.  He can have his new sweetie come visit him while she's on another guys Visa and not be responsible for her.  

I think the fair thing to do is wait for the divorce to be final.  At this point the INS can determine if her status should be taken away or adjusted to permanent.  If it is taken away, the latest gringo can then determine if he is serious enough about the gal to sponsor her himself.

El Diablo

[markxport]

... in response to Re: Agree & Disagree, posted by El Diablo on Aug 15, 2002

I can understand and respect your opinion.  Unfortunately, only the immediate parties know the true circumstances of this situation.

Take care,

Mark

[El Diablo]

... in response to Fair enough....., posted by markxport on Aug 15, 2002

Hi Mark,

I think some of my information was wrong.  According to the INS, divorce before the two year deadline does not invalidate a request for permanent status if it can be proven that the marriage was entered into on her part in good faith.  I took the following from the INS Web site;

""A lawful permanent resident is given the privilege of living and working in the United States permanently. Your permanent residence status will be conditional if it is based on a marriage that was less than two years old on the day you were given permanent residence. You are given conditional resident status on the day you are lawfully admitted to the United States on an immigrant visa or receive adjustment of status. Your permanent resident status is conditional, because you must prove that you did not get married to evade the immigration laws of the United States.

If you are no longer married to your spouse, or if you have been battered or abused by your spouse, you can apply to waive the joint filing requirement. In such cases, you may apply to remove the conditions on your permanent residence any time after you become a conditional resident, but before you are removed from the country.

Who is Eligible?

You may apply to remove your conditions on permanent residence if:

You are still married to the same U.S. citizen or lawful permanent resident after two years (your children may be included in your application if they got their conditional resident status at the same time that you did or within 90 days).

You are a child and cannot be included in the application of your parents for a valid reason.

You are a widow or widower of a marriage that was entered into in good faith.

YOU ENTERED INTO A MARRIAGE IN GOOD FAITH, BUT THE MARRIAGE WAS ENDED THROUGH DIVORCE OR ANNULMENT.

You entered into a marriage in good faith, but either you or your child were battered or subjected to extreme hardship by your U.S. citizen or lawful permanent resident  spouse.

The termination of your conditional resident status would cause extreme hardship to you. ""

El Diablo

[Sam Club]

... in response to Re: Fair enough....., posted by El Diablo on Aug 15, 2002

Thank you all for your comments.  I believe that I am now armed with enough information to pass on.