crusty old guys

[Patrick]

... in response to 20 years no big deal, posted by Pete E on Jul 21, 2002

Pete,

I'd have to agree with you.  I think in your case the age gap isn't that big a deal.  I think it's the men marrying the women in their early to mid twenties when they are in their 40's or older who have more problems.  Once a woman reaches 36, she's pretty mature.

[pack]

... in response to Re: crusty old guys, posted by robbysanjuan on Jul 21, 2002

i wonder how many young guys have gone to colombia married in a quote " common sense " age range and the marriage failed? i'll tell you how many...LOTS.

[Patrick]

... in response to Re: Re: crusty old guys, posted by pack on Jul 21, 2002

You're probably right.  I think anyone marrying one of the really young women is more prone to problems whether the man is also young or not.  Perhaps more of the young women believe in some fantasy life married to a "prince gringo" and aren't at all prepared for the reality of leaving their friends, family, culture and language.

[jim c]

... in response to Re: crusty old guys, posted by robbysanjuan on Jul 21, 2002

If I could find a sixty year old woman that turned me on emotionally and physically. I would marry her. When you are my age 20 years is nothing. My father is 86 and has been married for 8 years to a woman who is 56. She is crazy about him. I suspected the worst when he married her, but I was wrong. It can work if you can ignore the opinions of others. As to Anna Nicole he got what he wanted and I assume he left with a smile on his face. I don't think it was a bad deal for him.
    I have told numereous women in Colombia that they were too young for me. The majority of them have responded that it was not a problem. Smart women look for more than youth in other cultures. They appreciate kindness,inteligence,loyalty, experience and sophistication. Having a hard stomach is not the primary draw for a smart woman. She is thinking about what her life will be like with you, not how handsome you are. There are a lot of handsome young guys out there that are real a-holes and a smart woman knows that. So don't sell us crusty old guys short and stop thinking that the old guy with the foxy young wife bought her. He probably won her with the things you can't see.  Sean Connery and Clint Eastwood still melt women who are thirty years younger. The purpose is to find what works for each of us and if you can get it and both persons are happy its no one elses business. Jim C

[pack]

... in response to Re: Re: crusty old guys, posted by jim c on Jul 21, 2002

very well said Jim C.
it appears to me that the only people that worry about age difference are the young american males??? the women dont seem to worry about it, the older american males certainly dont worry about it and the families of the women dont seem to care.
its the younger gringo dudes that seem to be hung up on this age thing?
all through history in all cultures you find older men and younger women getting hitched this isnt a new experience.
the times i have visited cali the ladies have told me they prefer the middle aged to older men because they are more stable and secure.
everywhere i went in cali i saw women 23 to 35 with men in their 40's and 50's and in some cases in their 60's, no one seemed to have a problem with this.
these ladies of colombia are looking for a good man who will marry them, treat them right and settle down with them to have a happy and secure home life.

[Keith Smith]

... in response to crusty old guys, posted by jim c on Jul 20, 2002

Hi Jim. How's everything? Fine, I hope. Listen, when you have a chance, please e-mail me at: VCultist@aol.com. Take care.

[Darkstar]

... in response to crusty old guys, posted by jim c on Jul 20, 2002

I'm all for being as careful as possible. I also believe that you should look in the mirror and work on becoming the best man you can be. This will maximize your chances for success more than anything else. When a person is happy with himself, has a good self image and is well centered, it is much easlier to find the right person.
But I believe that time is not the most important factor. You are. I dated by previous wife for four years and was divorced after thirteen. Now days, it's a 50/50 odds of success if you get married after a long relationship or if you get married after two weeks. I've also known friends that dated for a long time and their marriages failed as well, while others that dated for less that three months are still happily married after many years.

Again, I think that if you are a good person, has his head screwed on right, you have a better chance of choosing the right person, and in being a good person, a much better chance that she will learn to love you. Since most of us cannot afford to take our time due to money or time off from work, a short engagement period is common. The reason most us go south to to go to a market that provides better opportunities for us to marry a younger more attractive women than we can here in the U.S. Her primary modivation is to find a better life for herself in the U.S. and also that most A.M. have a better rep than Colombian men.

So, I feel most all do not really love their novio initially but if he is a good man, she will learn to love him more and more everyday. This is if the man has done some soul searching and made the changes needed to become the kind of man a women would love once she got to know him, and if the man chooses wisely as far as the woman is concerned.

There are no guarantees either way... I'm mostly concerned with the things I can control. Myself.

By the way, I'm 41, in good shape, I take care of myself, I'm continually working on becoming the best I can be, I work hard, and plan for the future. I feel that ANY women would be lucky to have me, and when I find the right person, I'll feel lucky to have her.

Now, since I'm confident to what I want in life, I can safely say that I will not be looking for the wrong type of women. For me, at my age, she will have to be mature and stable as well, regardless of age.

I certainly do not feel that a 18 year old would fit my profile. Nor a 35 year old that acts like an 18 year old. Common sense prevails. We must be prepared to make wise decisions in our search, so WE must be prepared to do this.

Tim.

[Pete E]

... in response to crusty old guys, posted by jim c on Jul 20, 2002

Jim,
Picking out a puppy in ananology I have heard.Thing is the puppy will love you for sure,the woman maybe.

Pete

[Pete E]

... in response to crusty old guys, posted by jim c on Jul 20, 2002

Jim,
Expensive divorce sounds like someone we both know.That would make you hesitate a little.

Pete

[Pete E]

... in response to crusty old guys, posted by jim c on Jul 20, 2002

Jim,
Are you really looking for a wife,playing,or a little of both?It seems to me if you were really looking seriously for a wife you would have found her by now.
But there is nothing wrong with deciding to have a good time untill something really hits you about one of these women.
I think the other thing that comes up when you are our age,I'm a year or so younger than you,is do you really want to start over with a family situation in the US,or would you rather be a retired traveler who can do what he wants?
I could do what you are doing,but even though I have a pretty good pension it is not enough for our lifestyle here,so I need to work also.In 5 or 10 years I will trully retire,maybe move to a latin country.

Pete

[jim c]

... in response to Re: crusty old guys, posted by Pete E on Jul 20, 2002

Hey Petey

    I respect your opinion and you are right. Without making this a long story, I have been married to a divorce lawyer for nine years, for the past four I have been trying to divorce her. The cost has been over $1000,000.
    I do not lie to the calenas I meet about my marital status.I simply am looking for a woman I like, who likes me. My intent is to live in Colombia when the divorce is over. Like many on this list I do not like being alone. But, I would rather be alone and searching than settle for only a pretty face. Colombia has its drawbacks, But I could live very well there on my pension and investments. You would be surprised how many women are interested when they find out they don't have to leave their families and move to the US. I have seriously dated five women in Colombia, one I lived with. The others were  dinner and dancing. (IT'S BETTER THAN HBO!!) When I find the compatable one I will marry her, If I ever get divorced. But you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a princess. Fortunately I have the time (between hearings) to travel and continue the search. But with caution---The fantasy can overcome us all. Some get lucky right away and some of us take longer. Its a tough job but someone has to do it JIM C

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: crusty old guys, posted by jim c on Jul 21, 2002

Jim,
I didn't know about your situation,I was talking about a mutual friend,but I'm sure he will get off alot cheaper than that.Divorcing a divorce lawyer?Now thats a horror story,she represents herself and drags it out and you pay $200 an hour?
You are in a situation where you don't need to get in a hurry,even if you could.Plus if you are dealing with a woman who does not want to leave Colombia you don't have any green card concerns.Most guys have to work here,and want the woman with them,so there is a 90 day fiance visa or just marry them.Actually marrying is not so risky if you don't stay with them too long if it is not working.Most would just want to go home.Unless of course you get a real user.Guys would not marry so quickly if they had the option to date for along time like with a woman who lives here.The Colombian situation usually requires commitment,the opposite off people here who can live together for years and never marry.My son dated a girl for 4 years,lived with her 2.He didn't want to get married.She did.They introduced 2 friends to each other and they were engaged in 2 months and married in 8.That ended my sons relationship,she could see it was going nowhere.The other girl said"boy was Kathy p----d."
If you are  in Cali in December lets hook up for that cerveza.

Pete

[pablo]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: crusty old guys, posted by Pete E on Jul 21, 2002

On my first trip to Colombia I met many ladies at the agency I joined that had absolutely no problem with a 15-20+ year age difference.  Granted, I look a little younger than I am, but being accustomed to the dating scene in the States where these sorts of age differences are not the norm, it was hard to comprenhend at first. I had an idea that AW, like LW were also wanting men more their own age.  

I questioned one beautiful young 25 year old lady over a period of days about the age difference between us when she finally told me, "What's the problem, why do you keep bringing this up?  My last Colombian boyfriend was older than you".  From that point it was smooth sailing.  Don't sell yourself short gents, some of these ladies prefer older guys.  What they are looking for is stability, experience, maturity, and faithfulness.  How you treat these ladies can win more hearts than being a young buck.  On the other hand, I don't want a lady whose main desire Stateside is to visit Disneyland!

Remember, Age is Mind over Matter, if you don't Mind, it doesn't Matter.