Coastal Cities versus Cali--Marital Success

[JunFan]

I know this post will be controversial for you Cali die-hards.  I know of two couples right now who brought their fiances over about the same time I did that appear heading towards divorce.  

During my search process and my engagement, I got to know several couples along the way that I became friends with, and correspond with to this day.  There were 3 of us who married girls from Barranquilla or Cartagena, and 3 of us who married girls from Cali.  The two couples who are having problems are from Cali, but I think the other is doing fine.  I have never heard of any divorces, through my limited network and forum readings, involving women from the Coastal cities.  I have read about several horror stories involving Calenas, whether it be green card sharks or divorces.

I am not trying to catagorize these women, as it is impossible to do.  There are always two sides to the story, but I can't help but wonder if there truly is a difference between the two cities that contributes to this.

If it is somewhat true, could it be because Cali is becoming 'over-gringoed'?  Have the women become more calloused? Cali has more agencies than Cartagena and Barranquilla combined by a factor of 5-10 probably, with a ton more gringos going to Cali than the coast it seems.

Comments??

Mike

[Pete E]

... in response to Coastal Cities versus Cali--Marital Succ..., posted by JunFan on Jan 6, 2002

Mike,
Casi is the big destination,the one with the most girls.For that reason alot of us recommend it for a new guy.
Being that agencies have been around Cali longer there are probably more female players and users who have honed their skills.Probably more so than the less frequented places.This is a downside,but it is possible to avoid these women if a guy keeps his head and doesn´t get swept away with a pretty but dishonest lady.
I still think Cali has the best odds but you bring up a good point.

Pete

[DFWGuy]

... in response to Coastal Cities versus Cali--Marital Succ..., posted by JunFan on Jan 6, 2002

My first question about your friends who are getting a divorce would be how old are they. The people that I have seen FREQUENTLY not last are the late 30s, 40s, 50s guys who marry a 20,21,22 year old. I would venture to guess this subgroup makes up the majority of marriages (yes, not all) of the couples that do not make it.

[El Diablo]

... in response to Coastal Cities versus Cali--Marital Succ..., posted by JunFan on Jan 6, 2002


Hi Mike,

As one of the Cali die-hards I'd like to chime in and agree with your remarks.   Let me first say that I believe women in Cali are probably very much like their sisters in Barranguilla.  There are good one's, less than good one's and everything in between. In other words, I don't believe Cali has more "less than desirable" women than Barranquilla.

On the other hand, the men and women who belong or visit agencies, don't necessarily reflect the population they come from.  Ideally you'd like to see the participants of this adventure come from a broad base not only representing all races but all income and social classes also.   It is clear to me that the women in the agency's of Cali represent more of a sub-culture.  As an example, the women in the books tend to be younger, more attractive and have less education than your typical woman in Cali.  In general, they come from poorer families where oppurtunities are less available.   This might also be said of Barranquilla but I'm not sure.

If there is a difference in the agency scene between the two regions, I think it is because of the gringos themselves.  Scammers and insencere women don't exist in higher proportions in Cali but those that do exist seem to be more likely to join an agency there.  There are probably ten gringos in Cali for every one in Barranquilla despite the population being similar. I think a gringo represents an oppurtunity for many less than desirable types and because of this, some of them have joined agencies.

I think a large part of the problem in Cali is ourselves.  We aren't prepared for the candy store and begin to believe in fairy tales and fantasies.  I also think we gravitate too easily to the young babe types and are too generious with our money   The supply of easy money is like the blood that brings out the sharks.    I think if guys cut off the money stream until after the wedding a lot of the sharks would dissappear.

I think another problem in Cali is that too many gringos are at the agencies primarily for sex.  Let's be honest, the town has a party reputation and many gringos travel there just to party. (I'm not sure this is the case in Barranquilla and if it is I bet it's to a much lessor extent.)  I don't particularly care about guys sexual escapades including visiting prostitutes.  On the other hand,  I don't think the agency scene in Cali which is devoted to introducing people for marriage should be in any way connected with easy sex or prostitution.  This type of behavior gets around in Cali and it plays a role in peoples perception of agencies.  I understand that some people think that it's fine to mix agencies and visiting prostitution but I can guarantee you that the Calenas think otherwise.  A good Calena IMO is less likely to be a part of an agency if she believes the gringo members are off visiting prostitutes or there primarily for sex.   I'm not preaching and I'm not talking about morality here, the perception of agency gringos as playboys attracts certain types of women while it dissuades others.  

Anyway, maybe Barranguilla is a better choice to visit at this time.

El Diablo

[jDave]

... in response to Re: Coastal Cities versus Cali--Marital ..., posted by El Diablo on Jan 6, 2002

El Diablo

I'm just curious

Where does Bogata fit in to the statement you made

Dave

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: Re: Coastal Cities versus Cali--Mari..., posted by jDave on Jan 7, 2002

Hi Dave,

I've only been to Bogota once and visited an agency that has never been mentioned here, it's called Ladies and Gentlemen.  My experience in Bogota is limited but in the agency I visited the women appeared to me to represent a more broad based part of society.  There weren't any 18 year olds that I remember and the median age seemed to be around 30 years old.  Now I'm not sure I can explain this difference between Cali and the agency I visited in Bogota.  Perhaps it's a function of the agency owner, only allowing older members or perhaps her male clientele just tend to be older themselves.  

El Diablo

[jDave]

... in response to Re: Coastal Cities versus Cali--Marital ..., posted by El Diablo on Jan 6, 2002

El Diablo

I'm just curious

Where does Bogata fit in to the statement you made

Dave

[JunFan]

... in response to Re: Coastal Cities versus Cali--Marital ..., posted by El Diablo on Jan 6, 2002

Nice post.  I agree with you. BQ has it's share of sharks also, after all, BQ is the home to the famous "Adanolis"-one of the hottest, kniving women that I have read about. I am sure there are good and bad women in both cities, but I have to think the number of gringos and agencies in Cali has to have a negative effect to some degree.

I am still amazed by how many more men go to Cali than BQ given the similar populations, like you say....amazing.

Mike

[Red Clay]

... in response to Coastal Cities versus Cali--Marital Succ..., posted by JunFan on Jan 6, 2002

I have also noticed that for all the Cali hype, I'm not sure that there are that many guys on here who are happily married to Calenas [compared to the total number who go] Maybe there are many here, and just don't post that frequently. I have heard some on here discouraging guys from going elsewhere, ie, "Mexico girls don't want to leave MX", "Peruanas are too Indian", "Bogota women are older and not as hot', etc. Actually there are success stories from all these places that some consider "not as good" as Cali. Just by the websites it does appear that Cali has a larger number of hot babes than many other places, but there are plenty of babes in most places in SA. What really jumps out at me is the number of stories from guys who got played/scammed by Calenas, although I am sure there are plenty of sincere ones.

   TAXIS- When in Lima I have noticed the cabbies do that EXACT same thing, seem to move toward a roadside pedestrian instead of giving a little room. This happens when the driver has PLENTY of room to move a little away from the walker, but for whatever reason, hold that fine line or even lean a little toward the sidewalk. I shut my eyes a few times waiting for the thump.

   Believe it or not, my wife says everyone here exhibits much more courtesy toward each other in public compared to Peru. Anytime we are standing in line somewhere or stuck in traffic, she can't believe how patient and obedient people are. Says the normal behavior in Lima would be yelling and pushing in that situation.