Nebies.......one more time

[FenixRises]

Hey you guys that are just starting out on this adventure and ask for info, please check the archives!!!! In the last few months there were numerous people who posted trip reports and lots and lots of opinions.
I am lazy and inconsiderate and not inclined to answer the same questions over and over every week. If you are truely interested then spend the time to do the research in the archives. If you do not have the patience and the willingness to do that then how do you expect to be sucessful in your actual search for an esposa en el sur?
It would be really great, for once, if someone just starting out prefaced their request for information with something like "After reading through the archives I didn't see a specific mention about topic X". And yes I am ragging on you guys.

Fred
PS:I am giving Patrick a break by posting this, pobrecito has done it often enough.

[Buck]

... in response to Nebies.......one more time, posted by FenixRises on Oct 24, 2001

Gee,I guess you are talking to me.I have been going thru the archives but hadn't come across the info I wanted yet.I havn't gone thru them all yet.Got a job & other things to do.But eventually I will get thru them all.But till then you are excused from answering any questions I put out there.I do thank everyoone else that might like to help someone new.

[Patrick]

... in response to Re: Nebies.......one more time, posted by Buck on Oct 24, 2001

If you're looking for something specific, that would be much easier than manually searching through them all!

[Hoda]

... in response to You might want to try the search engine, posted by Patrick on Oct 25, 2001

Patrick,

I'm not familiar with the all the in's & out's of your site layout. For the sake of the newbies & possibly for yourself.
How about taking all the Trip reports & placing them in a digest like form & place them in the trip reports area. For example, if a person was to click say "JunFan", they could read his story from his first flight to wedding, without searching through all the archives. A person searching for "trip reports" probaly won't get them all. Just a thought....

Peace....Hoda

[Patrick]

... in response to Patrick an idea......use it or trash it., posted by Hoda on Oct 26, 2001

Nobody else but you (and formerly Tim) has been willing to post pictures on a site that's seeing 600,000 hits per week.  With the amount of editing involved in putting them together, I'm not willing to do it without photos.  I guess I can't complain, because I could post my own trip report, but my wife is not willing to have her photos here either!

For those holding back because they don't want me to profit from their report, I will re-iterate that I will never place banner ads either on the trip reports or the message boards.  The message board search engine has them because its very cpu-intensive and places a high load on the server, but all the other areas- archives, active boards, and trip reports will remain commercial free.

[Buck]

... in response to You might want to try the search engine, posted by Patrick on Oct 25, 2001

Thanks Patrick.I appreciate the constructive advise.I have been using it but havn't found my answers.An example:I was wondering how those who have wed latin ladies handled the problem of asking about AIDS.When,how & or did the lady usually bring it up.I havn't found anything in the archives that answers these issues.I realise that this is the same problem wherever poeple are.But the time with these ladies is so precious it would seem that early on one would like to know.Before love hits full blast.Anyway thanks for the suggestion.I do appreciate it.I will continue to look.Buck

[Patrick]

... in response to Re: You might want to try the search eng..., posted by Buck on Oct 25, 2001

I guess I've been out of the dating game long enough that I completly forgot about this issue.  But now that you mention it, I was concerned about it when I was single, and not just with Latin ladies, but with anyone.  Like the guys below pointed out, there's a pretty low incidence of HIV in most Latin countries.  One other thing- An HIV test is part fo the medical screening necessary for a fiancee visa (and I believe spousal visa as well) to the US.

I had HIV testing done on myself in between every relationship I was in when I was single. I brought it up with my (now) wife by mentioning in a letter that I was tested and was negative.  It might be a fairly delicate topic if you ask her to go in for screening before your in a serious relationship, but you never know until you try.

[Buck]

... in response to Re: Re: You might want to try the search..., posted by Patrick on Oct 26, 2001

Thanks Guys,This is just the info. I was looking for.I do appreciate it.Does anyone know,is a person HIV positive allowed into the USA?A long time ago I thought I heard no.Would be a bear to get engaged just to find out she can't come to the USA.But you have put my mind to rest.How about one of my other questions.Paying for the wedding.I see by the Archives that usually the gringo is paying.What about the lady that marries a latin male.Who then pays?Is it just because gringos are supposed to be jillionaires that we have been paying all the costs?It would seem like a good idea to sped the money more after she is here.She is going to need a new wardrobe(depending on where you live),english lessons,your spanish lessons,her car,health club fees,ect.I'm not a jillionaire & I once saw on the board an estimate of expences to find & get that special lady here $10,000.For me this is a lot.Not complaining.Just wondering & would like to here the experienced guys thoughts.Thanks-Buck

[Patrick]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: You might want to try the se..., posted by Buck on Oct 26, 2001

I spent $125 or so on my wedding.  We went to something like a paralegal who was licensed to marry people at 7:00 AM and I went to work at 8:00.  Of course, I spent an additional $750 on her engagement scuba equipment (I gave her the choice of an engagement ring or scuba gear).

Don't do like I did.  Your wife may never let you forget the lousy wedding.  I'll be trying to make it up to my wife in our next wedding in the Catholic church if we ever get through the red tape.

$10,000 may be a good estimate.  The costs of traveling to LA many times coupled with long distance calls can eat up a considerable amount of money.  Agency fees should only amount to a small percentage of your total expenses.  The less you travel and the fewer phone calls you make, the cheaper it can be, but trying to minimize these means that you may have to marry someone without knowing them really well.  It's a trade-off.  Extra money to be more certain of your decision.

One thing that you can do that will increase your odds of making a wise decision that's low cost is to start studying Spanish so you can effectively communicate.  Junior college classes are generally pretty cheap and if you start taking classes either before, or at the same time that you start looking, you should be pretty good at it by the time you're making the big decision.

I would assume that you will be paying for the wedding.

[Buck]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: You might want to try th..., posted by Patrick on Oct 26, 2001

Thanks Patrick,I think you are probably right.Women don't have a real good sence of humor when it comes to these things.I will try to keep your advice in mind whenever I think of trying to cut corners.I plan on trying to learn Spanish but no Jr. College close by.Once again thanks-Buck

[JunFan]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: You might want to try the se..., posted by Buck on Oct 26, 2001

Buck,
I would say that $10,000 amount would be a good one to use. Unfortunately, if that is a problem or financially uncomfortable, then I would suggest you forget about it and move on to something else.

Just a few expenses off the top of my head...5 day trip to Colombia, usually a $1,000-$1500 estimate would serve this purpose. I spent about $2,000 on avg. So, how many of these would you make before you found her? How many after that? Your guess is as good as mine. I went down a total of 5 times before she was here. And that's without agency fees in there, as I didn't go through one.

Trip to Bogota for her visa? Depends on if you are there on a K-1, in which case only she need go...or, Fiance Visa and you both have to show up...and expect them/you to have to spend a week to two weeks to get through the Embassy process. How much would this be? My girl went to Bogota without me and we spent $900 or more on that, all in. Oh yeah, that includes r/t airfare from other Colombian cities, filing fees, medical exam/blood test fees, translation fees, photos, hotel, taxi's, food, etc. Oh yeah, maybe you use an attorney, $500-1000 range.

Wedding stuff? Come on...you have to do something along these lines.  ALL of these girls want to dress up for their big day, and probably have a wedding ceremony with their family and maybe some friends. I have yet to hear a story about some rich Colombian family, much less a poorer one, pay for the party/ceremony. I have seen some guys do it for cheap, but the guys have always paid.  OK, so you are getting married after all, what about a ring?, oh yeah you need two-engagement and wedding rings. Tux? Wedding Dress? Reception? Food? Flowers,Booze? Maybe throw in a honeymoon? Here again, your guess is as good as mine. Couple of grand? At least.

Flight to the US? Do you go down and get her? If so, multiply it by two. OK, meet her in Miami? There's another few hundred bucks, at least.

What about the time in between? You gonna talk to her on the phone some? I have seen guys who get by for cheap with cards and stuff and seen others with $400 per mo. bills.  What about sending her some money? ya know, so she can study English or take driving lessons? Cha-ching.  How abouth some INS filing fees thrown in there.

After she's here.  Oh my, there are so many things I won't go into them.  For one, unless they are from Bogota, they will need a whole new wardrobe for winter.  Just supplying all the toiletries, groceries, insurance, and all that good stuff adds up to alot, believe me.  Then maybe going to school, working out, makeup, haircuts, I mean it goes on and on. What about transportation? Do you want her to just stay at home? Take the city bus? Car?

And after she's here I'm sure she will want to go back to Colombia every once in awhile...

I'm not saying it's not worth it, cuz it is, but you need to be realistic about this thing. $10,000 will just get the party starting in most cases.

Later,
Mike

http://www.sparhard.com/colombia.htm

[Buck]

... in response to You think that's alot, posted by JunFan on Oct 26, 2001

Thanks Mike,I agree with you.I think you probably hit it right on.I once saw in the archives where a recomendation was made to get married here & have a reception there.He seemed to feel a person could have a better handle on the costs.Was married 27yrs & raised a daughter,have a pretty good idea what a lady can cost to keep.The $10,000 was for just finding the lady & getting to the point of getting married.Thanks for the information,I think you really have a good feel for what it takes financially.Keep the faith-Buck

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: You might want to try the search eng..., posted by Buck on Oct 25, 2001


About 6 adults per 1000 have aids in Colombia.  Of the six, 4.5 will be male.  The 1.5 women per 1000 who are HIV infected are much more likely to fall into high risk categories like drug users or the sexually primiscious.  To be honest, I wouldn't worry too much about AIDS as it's more or less a statistical non entity among Colombian women who do not use drugs and who are not sexually primiscious.    

El Diablo

[Raptor]

... in response to Re: Re: You might want to try the search..., posted by El Diablo on Oct 26, 2001

Great post, gay problem mostly

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: Re: You might want to try the search..., posted by El Diablo on Oct 26, 2001


Actually the statistics I quoted were not specificly about Colombia but are for all of Latin America.  This would include the Carribean countries like Barbados which have some of the highest HIV rates outside of Africa.