Age Difference

[MikePastore]

Another comment from a over 40 guy who says that the age difference is no problem. Is there a shortage of women closer to 30?

I am 47 and I could hold my own with guys in their late 30's as far as racquetball and on-line skating is concerned, but this situation about 22-26 year old women hooking up with guys my age has me freaked out. Does this really happen?

I have realistic expectations when I go to Cali (probably next year). Some of the other guys have posted a while back, but what is the situation lately? Sound like a lot more supply than demand. What's the scoop?

[JunFan]

... in response to Age Difference, posted by MikePastore on Oct 15, 2001

I am 32 and my wife is 24, I kinda like the idea when I'm 44 she will be 36.....mmmm mmmm good....Mike

[Patrick]

... in response to Age Difference, posted by MikePastore on Oct 15, 2001

I've had personal experience with two couples where the man was in his mid-40s and the lady in her early to mid 20s.  One ended badly in divorce. I don't know what happened with the other couple since they moved to another state and we lost touch after one year of marriage.  It didn't look like a good marriage to me though, and mostly because the lady was not treated well rather than something like her hooking up with another young guy.

You can't base anything on two observations, but I suspect that the large age difference marriages, particularly where the woman is still early 20s are more prone to failure than those between two people of more similar ages.  I think if you're talking about a 35 year-old woman and a 55 year-old man, the 20 year age gap is probably not as significant.

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: Age Difference, posted by Patrick on Oct 16, 2001

I'd like to add my accounts to those mentioned by Patrick. I have remained friends and in contact with four guys I met at Latin-Internet two years ago who married girls they met there. Two marriages are going just great two years later. One friend is a dentist who was 56 at the time he married his 26 year old calena the other is in telecommunications and was 36 when he married his 21 year old. Two other marriages (Latin-Internet again) failed after one year. In one the guy was 36 and the girl 21, in the other the guy was 77 and the girl was 24. There is no universal formula for success but two issues seem to to stand out. A) the guy halfway speaks Spanish and B) he's pretty flush as in not stressed financially here in the states.

[denvermike]

... in response to Age Difference, posted by MikePastore on Oct 15, 2001

Hi Mike,

I have my own opinions on the age difference question. I have traveled and worked in many SA countries for over 10 years now.  The age difference is not as big a deal for SA women as it is for NA women.

We all know the looks an older guy gets in the US if he is with a much younger woman (is that his daughter??).  The feminist BS that comes at us from all angles in the media today says it bad to date a younger woman. Well I disagree with the idea or at least for me. The joke I always use is "I like to date younger women because they have a shorter life story to listen to".

In SA it is very common (if not mandatory!!) for 40 something or a 50 something man to date a women in the 25 to 35 range. Nobody even notices.

This is my theory for what is it worth.  Women are basically "sex objects" and men are attracted to them because of their looks (very politically incorrect I know) but I didn't make the rules. On the other hand, men are basically "success or power objects” and women are attracted to men who are successful or are in a powerful position.  In general, the further along in your career the more successful you are. So... it seems logical to me that older men in the prime of their careers and younger women in the prime of their of looks and sexuality are a natural combination.

If you find an SA sweetie and bring to the US,  you have to be ready for the stares and possible disapproval from friends and family, but whose life is it?  If it makes you happy go for it.  The women will disapprove and the men will be jealous.

Now I must warn you, you had better act younger than your age,  you had better be in good shape, you had better be a pretty good dancer and stay active or you won’t do well when you head to Colombia.  Colombia women are obsessed with not being fat.  If you have a few too many pounds, that is an immediate turnoff to them.

Being with a younger woman keeps you young also. My final joke I use to fend off the age discrimination folks is a classic old line “ You are only as old as the WOMEN you feel”.  One personal observation, younger women are a natural form of viagra for older men.

Good luck,
mike

[HappyIdiot]

... in response to Age Difference, posted by MikePastore on Oct 15, 2001

I am 37 and my girlfriend is 31.  I tried to find someone closer to my own age because I believe that I bring a lot to a relationship because of the wisdom I gained from my experiences in life.  I see that as an asset and it seems more balanced to me if my partner brings that too.

Relationships can be difficult, so why not try to get rid of one area where they are out of balance.  Of course, for the people that only consider the asset she is shaking, well, it's easy to predict what is likely to happen in the long term.

Also, my experience have been with Brazil, not Colombia.

[yc]

... in response to Re: Age Difference, posted by HappyIdiot on Oct 16, 2001

Hi HappyIdiot,

I have a few questions I would like to ask you.  In mailing letters to Brazil, how long does it usually take before you get  a response from the female?  How much do flights to Brazil go for?  What would be the best city or cities to fly into?

Thanks,

[HappyIdiot]

... in response to Reply Mail Question . . ., posted by yc on Oct 16, 2001

As far as mailing letters, it seems to take 1 to 3 weeks for a letter to arrive, and 2 to 3 weeks for a letter to return.  Plus whatever time to actually read your letter and write the reply.

I'm not a flight guru, but it seems like most flights go out of Miami, and you'll end up paying somewhere in the range of $600 to $750.  The two main Brazilian airlines are Varig and Tam.  As an aside, it seems like the same ticket is about $100 to $200 cheaper if purchased in Brazil.

As far as the best city or cities, I think it really depends on your goals for travel.  For myself, I would recommend you don't travel until you have no doubt that you have built a firm friendship with the woman you are going to see.

[FenixRises]

... in response to Age Difference, posted by MikePastore on Oct 15, 2001

Hi Mike,
Like many AM I went to Colombia to find a possible wife.
I am happy to say that I found one. I am older than you by 5-6 years. I thought that it would be a good idea to look in the 30-40 range. On my first trip I met many women in that range and even a few older. Some absolutely stunning and some just average or below. I gotta tell ya Mike, it is difficult. For my own reasons I would not go under 30 because I think there is a real maturation process that people go through between 28-30. I didn't want to go throught that with someone 25-30 years younger then myself.
I am not an Adonis but I am in pretty good shape for 53. And it is a real ego booster when a good looking 24 year old hard body starts with the seductive looks in my direction. As I said I found the one for me. She is 31 with a 9 year old son, this I consider a good match for me even though the age difference is 22 years. What some of the other guys say is true, the age gap doesn't seem to be a big deal. In Cali, if you go there, do not be surprised to see many 40 something Colombian men out with thier 18-22 yo girlfriends. I suspect that they are girlfriends, which presumably the wife at home does not know about specifically. Neither my intended nor any of her family members expressed any concern about my age. What they did want to know was if I loved thier daughter, sister, etc. and was I a good man. One who wasn't a drunk and who wouldn't abuse her, a hard worker. Colombianas are much more verbal about thier jelousy and it is very hard to keep your eyes front and center down there. I think that once they understand that you are a one woman man and that they are your woman they can make your life heavenly. But they can also make your life h*ll. I think it is up to you.
If you decide to go, do as much research beforehand as possible. And learn Spanish, the more the better.
Buena suerte
Fred

[Pete E]

... in response to Age Difference, posted by MikePastore on Oct 15, 2001

Mike,
When you get to Cali your age perspective can change,its much different than here.At 47 you can have 21 year olds if you want,but I think it is risky.Some guys just get caught up in it because it is possible.I think 26-33 or so would be a much better bet.The girls are more mature and know what they want more and are less in to playing around.They are also more likely to have kids,so you need to decide where you are with that.
It did seem to me when I was looking through agency books 2 years ago that the number of women per a given age went down beyond 28 or so.Also there will probably be more that do not appeal to you.
In my case I was 56 when I married my wife who was 33(2 years ago).23 years seems like alot but it has not negatively influenced us to a great degree I don't think.Some of my friends who are mid forties and marry women 20-25 years younger are taking a bigger risk I think.Girls in their early 20's may not know what they want yet and are more subject to change I think.
Its a whole different thing in Colombia.I think finding a better looking(usually means younger)woman than we can get here is a big part of the motivation for guys to go.I really believe that these marriages with big age differences have a better chance of making it than marriages here where 2 people may be close to the same age.The reason,the attitude and expectations the ladies have.This presumes you are able to avoid the problem girls,but you should be able to do that if you don't disregard the warning signs.

Pete

[Buck]

... in response to Re: Age Difference, posted by Pete E on Oct 15, 2001

Congratulations Pete & best wishes on continued success.

[Cali vet]

... in response to Age Difference, posted by MikePastore on Oct 15, 2001

At your age and being foreign you would be considered perfectly eligable marriage material by women 18 years old in Cali and down to 16 or less out in the country. The question is what would you do with her back here in the states? Colombia and probobly most of South America is simply a completely differant world from what we are accustomed to here. In the US a ten year age difference is usually considered the extreme, the outer limit by most woman in their twenties or thirties. In Colombia that difference is often considered minimum. Just look at the personals in CaliesCali or Kiss or Amigos etc. And with a foreigner there really is no age limit. Fiscal responsibility and fidelity are the qualities most sought after by Colombian women after chemistry. It seems those qualities are hard to come by for them in their local culture and they're inclined to beleive that American men offer the alternative of being hardworking, home loving and loyal. Many don't view thirty even fourty years difference as a deterrent. The problem is that what works fine in Colombia may not survive long in the states.

[Wayne]

... in response to Re: Age Difference, posted by Cali vet on Oct 15, 2001

One of the problems I see with this 20-30 year age difference is that the guy is going to drop dead some 20-40 years sooner then their lovely young wife.  Now you have a women in her late 40's or early 50's and back on the market, or extremely lonely till she dies.  It's really not a good look in my opinion, and only benifits the man.  I think the man should at least have some really, really valuable life insurance, so she doesn't have to worry about money, as well as being a young widow.

Wayne

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Age Difference/ You better get g..., posted by Wayne on Oct 16, 2001

Wayne,
Good point.I have been joking that my elder care insurance is a young wife but there is the downside to her you mention.Another solution,instead of paying for expensive life insurance(they are in business to make money,you pay for the risk plus their profit and overhead),is just to build up your net worth so she will have some money.
The other thing to consider is as a US citizen and living here she will be much better off than if  I never came along.Nice looking 50 year olds do much better here than in Colombia.Also even if she never works she can get social security from the my account.
I have a pension where if we had been married before I retired  4 years ago my wife could get half of my retirement for the rest of her life (if she outlives me)plus free medical.Since we married later she doesn't get anything.I could go back to that job,work 1-3 years and then she could get the above coverage.I hated working there and don't want to go back,plus I would forfit my present pension in the meantime.Now I get the pension plus money I earn.I have bad dreams about being back there.It makes some sence but I don't want to do it.I counted the days to get out of there.Self employment is alot more fun.I am feeling a little selfish about this.

Pete

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Age Difference/ You better g..., posted by Pete E on Oct 16, 2001

If she were willing to return to Colombia after you...ahem, you know then whatever you left her financially would be worth at least four times as much.