Need Some Sound Advice Please...

[Bob]

... in response to Re: Need Some Sound Advice Please..., posted by tommi on Aug 23, 2001

Thanks Tommi,

Here is Houston and no children are involved.  Neither one of us are the "swing it" type.  I guess that sort of comes with the age I guess.  

As I explained to Jim C I am the type that needs to so stability.  She is the type that appreciates that.  We are not going to fall apart from this situation.  And, I do not want to put any more stress on here than she will normally have during the adjustment process.  My main concern and question is the INS.  Will I have to start the process all over again?

I am going to Medellin next month so we will have the time to discuss our options.  Marrying her in Columbia of course is an option.  But, it does not resolve the main issue.  We are not at the point of panic.  Nor has disillusion set in.

Again, thanks for the input.

Bob

[Pete E]

... in response to Need Some Sound Advice Please..., posted by Bob on Aug 23, 2001

Bob,
Let me point out a few things that might help.
Even though you lost your job you mentioned that you did have liquid assests.You probably also have unemployment benefits that could pay for along time.You will have a place to live and will be able to pay your own expenses.It doesn't cost that much more for 2 people to live than one.In a tight situation,forgetting buying alot of new clothes for her,the only additional expense would be her food,which would be minimal.In fact she is probably used to making do with simple foods and may even be able to save you money.
Even the poorest paying job she could get here will pay several times as much as what she makes in Colombia.She can probably get a job right away,even though it may take time for her to learn english and get a good job.She will be more able to help her family even with a job as a maid or restaurant worker than with her current job.
So,if you have some money to get her here and have a little cash reserve it will probably be enough for you to get by OK.This could put a strain on a new relationship,but if the relationship is good it will be OK.
You mentioned starting a business.You fiance could help you here also.If you can get something going right away she may not need to get another job,just help you.
All of these difficult things can be done better with the support of a loving partner,so if the relationship is really solid I would go for it,get her here and marry her before you have to start over on the fiance visa,which may not work now because of the lost job.
One caution,these ladies seem to always go through a depression when they get here because they miss their family and friends and because everything is so different.
Make sure she is prepared for what the situation will be.Even women who step in to a really good financial situation seem to go through this depression.
Good luck,if the love is strong and mutual I would just go for it.You will have each other while you are getting everything worked out.

Pete

[Bob]

... in response to Re: Need Some Sound Advice Please..., posted by Pete E on Aug 23, 2001

Hi Pete,

You’re absolutely correct.  I do not want to put any more undue strain on her than is necessary.  

We are not near the point of panic.  This is just an obstacle that we have to overcome.  As I said in my original post, for both her and myself, I need to show stability.  When I see her next month in Medellin we will discuss our options.  It is really up to her.  She does not want to burden me, as she says, with her family obligations.  She also feels that she will be a burden because she will not be able to go to work immediately.  In fact she does not understand why I would offer to help her family.  Difficult, to say the least, in getting this point across to her.  I explained to her that family is family.  She still feels it is not my responsibility.

As for 2 living as cheaply as I.  Actually, we would probably live better because she this much more thrifty than I.  

I have not forced her to make a decision.  Again, we will discuss our options face to face next month.  As I stated earlier, the INS is my main concern.

We could marry at her home in Bogota.  But these does not resolve the original issue.

Thanks for the time and effort in helping answer some of my questions.

Regards,

Bob    

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Need Some Sound Advice Please..., posted by Bob on Aug 23, 2001

Bob,
If you decide to get married in Colombia and go for the spousal visa you will have to give the American Embassy in Bogota basically the same things you gave the INS for the fiancee visa,including a letter of employment.
I guess you could get married there and then bring her in on the fiance visa and do a change of status here,but make sure you are not violating any INS rules.I think the fiance visa moves to a marriage here as a conclusion.You are really bringing her in to the country as you fiance and not you wife.

Pete

[Bob]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Be carefull of, posted by Pete E on Aug 23, 2001

Pete,

I understand.  Just got some info from Bala that I posted for Edge.  This may or may not come in handy.  As I said, we will have a lot to discuss when I see here in Medellin next month.

Thanks for the insight.

Regards,

Bob