My Story Part 8

[H2-Oh]

I have been reluctant to tell this part of the story but to have everything tie together I feel I must. Even though I now believe that 70 percent of the girl that an american will meet in the agencys are player in an agency (like Johanna) there are still many good girls out there.
 Alittle over a year ago when I put Sandra on the plane back to Cali, there where more reasons that I had to have her out of my life. Not only was Sandra most always distant from me, but she seemed preoccupied with something else on her mind. The secret phone calls, the not wanting to be here attitude. Then she would change and have a day when she would want to be my wife?? Over the next year I received only 3 phone calls from her. The first in July 2000 the next New Years eve in Cali, when I was with Johanna, and then around my birthday in January. The first call I in JUly I thought that she was not sincere, she called from a payphone and said she missed me and wanted to come back to her life in the states. The second was when I was a the Pacifico Royal Hotel in Cali for a New Years Party. It was 10:30pm and I was a table with John Bradshaw, Pete and their date and wife. When I got the call I took it about 20 feet from the table I was sitting at with Johanna. As I spoke to Sandra, the first time in 6 months, I could see Johanna was getting mad. She just knew it was another chica calling me she just didn't know who. As Johanna would say," the chicas in Cali are hungry". She was always on guard to make sure she never left me alone. RED FLAG IN MY FACE. Hindsight always 20/20. When I returned to the table Johanna demanded to know who that was, I calmly said Sandra, I had nothing to hide,  Johanna was made. Why was Sandra calling me at night on New Years?? The next call came onJan 19th. I received a call from some chica that gave me a cell phone number for Sandra and told me to call her tonight after 9:00 pm.I called and we spoke for 4 hrs. on the phone. We talked about many thinks. Her main topic was Johanna and me. Was I in love with Johanna or her? I told Sandra I was in love with Johanna and was planning to marry her. That seemed to take any steam out of Sandra to get back together with me. I didn't hear from her again. I through the last year pursue a divorce in Colombia. It's almost impossible. I would always recommend that you bring your girl back on a fiancee visa and marry her here in the states. The attorneys in Colombian is a whole set of seperate stories. While I was trying to get a divorce, my attorney met with Sandra and her boyfriend. My attorney told me that if I wanted them to sign the papers it would cost me 150,000 dollars? I say go .... yourself. I would fight this thing as long as it took to get divorced in Colombia.
  I should give you some backround on Sandra's "boyfriend". I found this out in the last 6 weeks. He is Cartel. Sandra is a posession to him. He keeps her in his control through a number of threats, fear tactics and being nice to her. She lives in a luxury apt. with maid and wants for nothing, except freedom. She is pampered and has a driver. She is never to be alone anywhere. He keeps her by making threats against her mother and family. Things like, if you try to leave I'll kill your family, nice things like that. He is married with 2 children and has 2 or 3 other girls. None that he keeps like Sandra. She is a good luck charm to him. He believes that if he can posess her, his "business" will go well. It's an obsession to him. His is like most cartel in Colombian, a low life that believes in witchcraft and black magic.
   Afew days before I was to go back to Colombia I was working late at my office and the phone rang. I answered and a girl named Diana said that Sandra would like to see me when I came to Cali next. I said OK and we made arrangements to meet.
  I will leave out details of the next 2 weeks to protect people that helped me, you never know who reads these posts.
  After booting Johanna out of the apt. I met with Sandra that night. The problem was she wanted to see me after midnight. I said well OK and that night I waited in oir arranged meeting location. About 11:00pm a girl walked in and asked if I was Howard in Spanish. I said yes and she said Sandra would be along shortly. We sat and waited and talked. She told me about her life and asked a few questions about me. After waiting an hour and a half I was getting tired. Was she going to show, I hadn't seen her for a year and this was still legally my Colombian wife. Then  at the front door about 30 yards away I saw someone walk through the door. I could quite see who it was........
To be Continued: Sandra a year later.

[AustinWife]

... in response to My Story Part 8, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 20, 2001

i am a Colombian wife living in the united states.  I have been reading your stories. they seem interesting you me.I want to say you are a good men and you have a big hart. I would like to ask you some personal questions.  If they bother you you don't have to answer.  How old are you and Johana and Sandra.  Were Johana and Sandra studying when they met you?  How long after you met them did you have sexual relations with them? when did you show them that you could help them financially?  

I read part 8 i am truly surprised and I would not want to be in your place if I was a man.  I felt panic when I read about narcotraficantes.i would advise you to forget about cali for a while.  probably you gringos don't know how these narcotraficantes act when some one tampers with their woman. I would say that it was a very good idea that you have found out that Sandra was involved in this class of people. It terified me that knowing this you continued to see Sandra.  I am not criticizing nor judging you for the attraction that you feel for her or for any woman that is involved in this. Probably you will not believe me because I am a young woman and you think that I don't have experience with these narcotraficantes, but I do and I will tell my story later.

Carolina

[JunFan]

... in response to Re: My Story Part 8, posted by AustinWife on Jul 22, 2001

Carolina,
Your story sounds interesting, please tell. I hope H20h not only reads, but heeds...

Also, how did you learn English so well?  My fiance is in Bogota right now to get her visa and should be here next week.  She knows poco engles pero vaya al collegio communidad para clases. Los classses sera para tres horas cada dia, para 16 semanas.

Hasta lluego,
Mike

[buzzy]

... in response to My Story Part 8, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 20, 2001

If you get rubbed out in the next episode I'm going to be really ticked off.  Hey..good entertainment!!You've established your characters well...good story....don't forget the chase scene!  I suggest a car chase scene at night between you and the mafia goon and Sandra racing thru the back streets of Cali.  They're out to kill you but it ends happily when the goon and Sandra crash into a pizza parlor exploding in a huge ball of fire.  Then you and your new latina moll run to each other's arms embracing and kissing in tears.  LOL.  Hey keep it coming!

[newby Jim]

... in response to Re: My Story Part 8, posted by buzzy on Jul 20, 2001

Nah.. I suggest a speed boat chase, machine guns ablaze, with you mowing down the mafiosi and heroically rescuing Sandra. You then go to meet her family, and her long lost cousin is the mafiosi who's hired to kill you ! But since he is a crossdresser...

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: My Story Part 8, posted by buzzy on Jul 20, 2001

Or they could just race through Unicentro.

[jim c]

... in response to My Story Part 8, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 20, 2001

well well "days of our lives"  
    At another time I answered another crazy poster to not be explicit about the behavior of your Novia. I felt that you did not need to be reminded of the possibilities. In other words DON'T TAKE HIM THERE.  I now retract that advice to the bible thumper. You have hung your dirty linen in public with such gusto and enthusiasm, I now have no sympathy for you. In reading the responses to your drama I sense a fear in others to say exactly what they think. But being as I have defended you in the past I feel entitled to give my opinion. That is what this forum is about. I met you one time in the past. I have met Bradshaw and others who know you well. Your posts indicate to me that you were buying furniture. Setting rules and conditions with out emotion. Buying the best arm candy you could find. Willing to dispose of them if they were not loyal or had agenda's that did not conform with yours. I do not sense grief or loss in your saga, only failure in a very young and possibly neurotic girl(not woman, a girl). Buying everything, as you have so patiently described, is not giving love. I truely believe all women,even calenas know when they are loved and when thay are not. The fact that you now are disillusioned does not excuse you from being a lolita shark and condeming the majority of women who attend the agencies. By the by numerous people knew about this girl for a long time and had nothing good to say about her or the other one. Your posts reveal a side to you that that is cold and dispassionate it makes one feel totally unsympathetic. As to the mafia guy you really think he gives a **** about you or another girl . There are 200 **** houses in Cali but then again the drama will be fed on by the newbies. Please end this revealing and embarassing insight into your charactor and your relationships with women in part nine. Or maybe I am being the cold and callus one and you are holding back the tears. If so I apologize. By the way my ex had a mafia boyfriend that was still trying to win her back while she was living with me and he was a big mafiosa. we tolerated each other and I am still here. jim c

[pack]

... in response to Re: My Story Part 8  or As the world tur..., posted by jim c on Jul 20, 2001

does this story have an ending...im leaving town in 5 days?!

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: My Story Part 8  or As the world tur..., posted by jim c on Jul 20, 2001


"""By the way my ex had a mafia boyfriend that was still trying to win her back while she was living with me and he was a big mafiosa."""

Jim,

I met your ex a few times and she struck me as a very smart and classy woman, truly and I liked her.  Perhaps I'm naive but I wonder what otherwise intelligent women like her and H2-OH's Sandra are doing with these big mafioso types. What's the attraction to men who are thugs at best?

Second, I know that the mafia runs deep in Cali and even into families of people we may know and like, nevertheless I wouldn't date an ex of a mafia guy in a million years. I don't want to sound harsh but with so many women available with absolutely NO ties to the mafia, I'm a little surprised by both you and H2-OH.  

El Diablo

[jim c]

... in response to Re: Re: My Story Part 8  or As the world..., posted by El Diablo on Jul 20, 2001

Hey james  heres a revelation for you they don't tell you about the bad parts of their lives when you first become involved. You have been in Cali for a while. I was in colombia 25 years ago. Bogota had dirt streets. *In twenty five years cali has come from a agricultural based provencial town to a modern city of 2 million people with cinplex theaters and shopping malls. Where did the money come from to build the high rises of Chrystales in the west and Cuidad Jardin and Ingenio in the South. Where did the money come from to build Chipi Chapi and unicentro. Why are there often three branches of the same store in the same mall. Can you spell laundry.  Tommy shirts for $50.00 Thats a weeks pay. Do you really believe that the children wearing these clothes, going to university in the US, riding pacifinos in parades or at the family fincas are the product of hard working honest lawyers, doctors and businessmen. Do really think that the real movers and shakers walk around with a bunch of gangster body guards attracting attention. Where did the money come from to send all these doctors, lawyers and dentists to university. My belief is if you meet an upper middle class woman where every one in the family has a us visa, they own a finca or a lodge on lake Calima, drive $50,000 dollar cars or own a lot of homes and apartments. They didn't make the money selling pineapples for fifty cents each and doctors charging $30.00 for a visit can't really afford private airplanes. Who do these people date if not each other. Just who do you think lives in these townhouses, penthouses and mansions. But don't worry if you date manicurists and shop girls you will be safe. jim c
ps
No real mob guy cares about a 20 year old pizza waitress I think H20h is safe.

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: My Story Part 8  or As the w..., posted by jim c on Jul 21, 2001

Hi Jim,

I'm aware that Cali was built on cartel money and very few rich people are not connected in some way.  I have rich friends here in California but in Cali I try to stay away from the well to do and their wannabees as much as possible.  It's not the money but where it comes from and how it is kept that bothers me.

It's not always easy to see but their is a middle and upper middle class in Cali that has little if no connection to the mafia nor wish to be.  These are decent people, often times professionals or entrepreuners who have made their money through hard work.  They may not send their sons and daughters to the U.S. for education nor drive BMW's but they do attend universities and perhaps drive cars, albeit cheaper ones.  Many of the middle class have regular jobs, not necessarily shop girls or manicurists as you put it but jobs in banks, jobs as teachers and jobs as accountants.  They do many of the jobs the mafia have no interest in nor have the education to do.

It's true we learn things about people with time that we may have had no idea about in the beginning.  This happens everywhere but in Cali what we sometimes learn is not pleasant.  I beleive MOB relationships are risky adventures at best and ripe for these kind of discoveries.  The lack of time to get to know a person, the language problems and cultural misunderstandings all play a part.  Cali seems to be a particularly risky place, their is a very sleazy side to some of the culture, with the mafia and such and all the agency shananigans.

I think many guys are surprised by H2-OH's story and see it somehow as a big soap opera, perhaps something bigger than life that could never happen to them.   I'm not surprised by it at all and have witnessed at least a half dozen of these melodramas in Cali. I found myself getting pulled into the middle of a stupid melodrama last year and the only thing that saved me from further greif was that I cut all ties with the people involved. Sometimes that's not an easy choice.  

The truth is, the agency sub-culture has all the ingrediants of a soap opera, old guys chasing beautiful young women,  travel to exotic places where danger lurks around every corner, guys and gals proclaiming "love" in record times, just for start.  Throw a few armed robberies at agency safe houses into the mix with sex, mafia connections, dishonesty and very unrealistic expectations of everyone involved and travel to Cali is a soap opera "smash" waiting to happen.

El Diablo

[jim c]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: My Story Part 8  or As t..., posted by El Diablo on Jul 21, 2001

hey devil ain't it wonderful

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: My Story Part 8  or ..., posted by jim c on Jul 21, 2001


As an avowed Cali addict, I must admit that a month in Cali is much more adventuresome than a month here in California.  (-:  I'm sure that the very things I lament, are part of  its attraction to me.  

El Diablo

[Hoda]

... in response to Re: My Story Part 8  or As the world tur..., posted by jim c on Jul 20, 2001

Howard, I do feel for ya but DAYYUM!!! It's time to put this puppy to sleep. Change your approach in your search for love. You were tricking money and got tricked. Take a breather & then resume your search for love & hope that love finds you.

Peace....Hoda (The other Howard)

[Tai]

... in response to My Story Part 8, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 20, 2001

H2-OH,

I have read all 8 parts of the ongoing "saga". My first instinct is to say melodrama, because it appears to me that you walked into the situation with your eyes open...and at some level were seeking or expecting some kind of "drama" to result from it.

Many guys talk about how to spot red flags, and what to do when you do. In this case the question is what do you do when YOU yourself are the red flag. -From one girl to the other then back to the first...then marry her and you hadn't even kissed her? Then you're talking about paying for psychologists, then continuing to deal with her while she's tied to Mafioso?

Initially, I took it as you presented it, your story...told in efforts to help other guys out there from making the same mistakes you did. While I am not doubting you story, because truth is often stranger than fiction, it seems as though you have been turning the story itself into a "drama" event, stretching it out like a serial/soap opera.

"Will Howard make it back to the apartment in time?...or will Johanna and Diego succeed in their fiendish plot?...Will the mafioso discover the secret meeting?..Tune in tomorrow..."

Come on man, really. This is not a question of whether or not you are a good guy, nor is it a question of how large a percentage of ladies in the agencies are players. This is waaaay deeper than that. It is really about YOU, and the work that you need to do. Maybe this "series" is part of that, a purging process, or maybe not...noone but you really knows that.

I would typically guess situations like these would leave some sizable wounds. However, I am guessing that you already had "wounds" that needed treating way before you ever ventured to Colombia.

Hopefully you will find and address where the problems truly are, otherwise your "my story" installments will continue in the same dramatic fashion...OR..they may end tragically.

A fool is not a man that makes mistakes, nor is it a man that makes poor choices.

A fool is a man that continues to repeat poor choices and expect a different result.

just an opinion(more than .02 this time)

Tai

ps - "If you're bleeding in the water, the sharks will come."