Red flag? She lives alone

[Hamlet]

One of my correspondents, a Colombiana with two beautiful little girls who I would be willing to adopt, lives alone with her daughters.  She has a terrible struggle making ends meet on her salary as a hairdresser, working six, ten-hour days a week.

I asked her why she does not live with her parents and she replied that after her divorce from a very machista Colombiano, her parents don't want to help her anymore because they are very religious and she is a single mother.

Hmmm.  This story smells fishy.  That's not a reason to dump your daughter and granddaughters.  Any comments?

[El Diablo]

... in response to Red flag?  She lives alone, posted by Hamlet on Jul 10, 2001


I think it's a bit unusual however it is certainly possible.  It's also possible that religion is only being used as a guise here and the real story is being concealed -- but this is only speculation.   Anyway, I wouldn't consider this a red flag.  To little is known for this kind of judgement to take place.

[Pete E]

... in response to Red flag?  She lives alone, posted by Hamlet on Jul 10, 2001

Might be true but it is unusual.Usually the parents will always take them in and it solves childcare problems.It is difficult to live alone as a single woman on a normal salary down there.Maybe she doesn't want to put up with her parents scutiny of her lifestyle.I would proceed carefully and watch out for any sign of lies.Stories that are difficult to believe are a red flag so don't overlook them.
Watch out for asking for money.I don't want to judge this girl but I have heard alot of cases where a girl is working several guys at the same time for money.If you are serious about her you might want to hire a private detective to check her out.
Oh,about adopting the kids,don't even think about that untill you have been married to her for at least 2 years.Also,why do that?You can provide for them here as if you were their father,and you could get stuck providing for them if the marriage does not work.It might be sufficient motivation for her to fake it for awhile.Just my opinion.
Also,you say correspondent,have you met this girl?If not you are just a fantasy in each others mind.Don't get too far out ahead with someone you haven't met,I have seen much disapointment and wasted time over this.My advice is catch a plane.

Pete

[Hamlet]

... in response to Re: Red flag?  She lives alone, posted by Pete E on Jul 10, 2001

Pete,

Thanks for your excellent advice.  When I said I would be willing to adopt the children I meant it as a possibility, not as a current plan.  But I did not know about the ability to wait, so I am glad for this information.

No, we haven't met, but I will meet her soon, along with many others with whom I have been writing.  I am taking a three-month trip.

Ham

[KADAMS]

... in response to Not hasty, posted by Hamlet on Jul 10, 2001

Hey guy, you sound like a really good man. I don't want to scare you but If you adopt the children, they will become your responsibility, and if you divorce you will have to pay support.

Please think about this, and good luck.

[pack]

... in response to Re: Red flag?  She lives alone, posted by Pete E on Jul 10, 2001

tetes right ....dont adopt at least not right away, give the relationship time before you take on the burdon of adoption.