An Interesting question ...

[yc]

Why is it that we have a battle of the sexes anyways?  LM and LW don't get along.  The AM and AW don't get along.  The Asian Man and woman don't get along... etc, etc.  But at the same time AM love LW, Asian Women, FSU women and visa versa.  In addition, AW doesn't seem to be as undesirable as first thought... based on a few posts lately.  It seems AW are prized highly by foreign men or aleast the LM.  What is going on here?

That brings up another question.  Will this phenomenon of men seeking foreign wives spread beyond just being a niche thing?  It is mainly a small number of AM, CM and EM involved now.  Will foreign men from other countries begin doing the same thing.  Have LW always been attracted to AM or is this a recent occurance?

I am not an evolutionist nor do I subscribe to the theory, but something interesting is going on here.  It seems like the more different a person is from his/her foreign sexual counterpart, the more attracted they are to each other.  I guess it is the opposite attracts thing again.  The most beautiful people in the world are from an ethnically and/or racially mixed background.  Look at LA and the Phillipines just to name a few places.  Is this some inner drive to keep the human race genetically diverse?

Regards,

[ariechert]

... in response to An Interesting question ..., posted by yc on Jul 10, 2001

I read an article on a Bioanthropology website that talked about this very question.  The reason given for "opposites attracting" was that we subconsciously try and maximize the genetic diversity/heterozygosity of our offspring because this would also maximize the diversity of our immune systems thus increasing the chances of our offspring surviving.  It is not violence or accidents that kill most offspring but disease.  It is the same reason that most primates avoid incest.  Even chimpanzees in the wild don't mate with their parents.  We are attracted to the people who are different from us because they will be carrying a completely different set of genes and thus immunity. If I can find the link I will post it.  - Art

[chao]

... in response to Re: An Interesting question ..., posted by ariechert on Jul 10, 2001

I remember reading somewhere that a woman is attracted to a man to a certain extent by his body odor.  It seems that the way a man "smells" gives some kind of a clue, albeit on a subconscious level, the type of a immune system he has.  If his immune system "smells" different, then the woman is more likely to be attracted to him, because his genes will contribute more diversity to the immune system of the woman's offspring, and therefore, the child will have a better chance at survival.

This may explain why some people are attracted to foreigners.  The foreigner may come from a different gene pool, thus offering genetic diversity and strength to offspring.

chao

[FenixRises]

... in response to Re: Re: An Interesting question ..., posted by chao on Jul 10, 2001

Pheromones are the chemical signal we all send out.
Simpler life forms, ants for example, leave a trail of this chemical "soup". By so doing their fellow ants can follow the trail to food sources and identify each other. This also happens to an extent with humans. Humans also give off pheromones and that chemical mix is a part of the "chemistry" that we all seek. I am no biologist but picked this up from such as the Discovery channel. This is perhaps the single most important reason why you absolutely must meet someone face to face and swap pheromones before you will know if there is a mutual attraction. Also this is a very good reason to go to your "dream land" where ever it might be and find that special someone who is receptive to your personal "soup".
Fred

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: An Interesting question ..., posted by FenixRises on Jul 10, 2001

There may be something to this chemical/smell thing but basically I think we have evolved beyond that.Guys tend to respond to visual stimulus,hence we want a good looking shapely woman.Women respond to visual also but I think it gets  more complicated.They have a need to be taken care of/protected.This I think explains their attraction to bigger taller guys.I used to think it was just a daddy complex.Being taken care of in modern society now means a man that can provide for them,and this is comes down to his economic power.We have alot of economic power in latin countries so therefor we are more desirable.
It only makes sense for a man to go where he can find what he is looking for.More guys would be doing it if they were aware and also willing to take the required steps,as in getting your butt on a plane.For the woman in Colombia,for instance,she doesn't need to go anywhere,just make herself availiable to the guys who show up,and she has a chance to fullfill her need for a guy who will protect her and take care of her.As success stories spread more and more get interested.Of course there is a drop out rate from the ones who get tired of trying.There is an ever expanding group of women who know of my wifes marriage that are interested in an American.Its like wow,you get all of these material things and they treat you good also?Get out of here!
What has really got things screwed up in US society is that women no longer need men to protect or care for them,so this whole biological based desire for a man gets watered down.Some womens libber a few years ago came up with the comment a "a woman needs a man like a horse needs roller skates".You won't find that attitude in Colombia.
I think the internet will expand knowledge of these opportunities,as we are doing right here.

Pete

[yc]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: An Interesting question ..., posted by Pete E on Jul 11, 2001

Pete you made a point about a womans needs.  This has been stated else where in a post... "That a woman needs to feel safe and protected.  A man that can provide this will get her devotion."  I think this goes both ways... just like a woman needs to feel safe and protected, a man has a inner desire or need to protect.  It make him feel more like a man... like he is performing his duty as a husband and protector.  In a man's mind, what good is he of he can't protect and provide for his family.  This may seem a bit macho or even egotistical, but men have been performing these very functions for thousands of years.  Telling him that he is no longer needed for this role(like the Liberation Movement been saying) is like telling him he has no purpose.  Just roll over and die.  Maybe this is one of the reasons for so many useless man and broken down drunks.  Just maybe this is one of the reasons men are heading to LA and else where in the world.  They(AM) perceive LW have a need for a protector, and LW desire a strong and capable protector and provider.

A man needs to know he has a purpose... remove this and he feels less than a man.  Men are purpose oriented creatures.  Women are nurturers.  If men were other than what they are today, the human race would be extinct.  Everybody would be in whatever region of the world they are indigenous to and they would have died there.  There would be no LW or LM, or any other mixed race.  Everyone would have succumb to disease and pestilence.  The Women's Liberation Movement only seem to active in countries were most dangers have been done away with and women can go about safely without much concern.  Just look right at the US and some other western countries, the AM is among of not the safest woman in the world.  The US is also the hot bed for the Women's Lib Movement(now I could be wrong about).  I willing to bet if enough women had gotten together several years ago and said "We would like to live on the Moon or Mars or something" we all would be there now.  Men in their desire to provide and protect their woman and family would have found a way to get them there... even at the cost of his life.  One other thing, this not an attempt to bash the AW...  It about a man's needs and desires.

Any thoughts .......

[Michael B]

... in response to Re: The Needs of a Man  ..., posted by yc on Jul 11, 2001

You wrote "It make him feel more like a man... like he is performing his duty as a husband and protector. In a man's mind, what good is he of he can't protect and provide for his family."

Good point, YC. Now, here comes the littery reference, OK, raise your hands now, how many have read Grapes of Wrath by John Stienbeck? One of the most bitter passages in Am. Litterature (IMHO) goes something like this: While the women wait in the background, counting on the men to solve the crisis, the "men folk" are having a meeting about the situation--the drought, their crops blow away or burried under the dust, the livestock sick and dying, no work, no money, the banks forcloseing on their land,...what to do, what to do?......But there is nothing they CAN do, it is beyond their control, suddenly they CAN'T protect and provide for their women and children....and when they realize this, they are NO LONGER MEN.

I think that for a lot (most?) men, the "protect and provide"  need is just as strong as the need for food and air.

[rick13]

... in response to Re: The Needs of a Man  ..., posted by yc on Jul 11, 2001

Unfortunately, I wish making a woman feel safe and loved was a guarenteed way to keep her.It truly makes sense and should always be the case.

  In a perfect world it would be. Logically, it makes sense. But I have too often seen the very man who gave all his devotion and love,become bitter when reality happens.   Now Many on this very board are fed up because they did give her love,and tried to make her feel safe,but she left anyway?

  Just the other day,there was a warning given on a certain girl and her sister.  Judging from her ex-fiance's post this man did so much for her. Gave her exactly what he felt he would like in return. But logic does not always work,and not all women are nuturers.      
 
  I do agree with you man need to be wanted also.A man should look for a woman who makes him feel he is. Iam big on that. Not only do I need to feel I am a good provider,but I want to feel I am handsome to her. I want to turn her on as much as she does me.  I want a woman to be a proud to introduce me to her friends and family as I am to introduce her. I want to be her world.

 In reading Randy's post I was made aware again what exatly  am looking for. THe one thng that hit me was he fact she is conservative. I want that . I am not into flirty women,or women who dress too revealing no matter how gorgeous she is. I need for the woman I choose not to require so much male attention in order to boost her self esteem.  Should my attention not be enough?  Besides,what happens to my self esteem when other men think they have a chance with my women because of her actions.

 Someone said all latinas are flirty. Well hats off to Randy G. If that is so, he found a rarer diamond than I originally thought.

[denvermike]

... in response to An Interesting question ..., posted by yc on Jul 10, 2001

Hi YC,

The attraction of LW to AM is not new at all.  I work for a company that does a lot of work in South America. When you go to the company Christmas party, it is amazing to see the number of men with their latina wifes (latinas from Chile, Peru, and Colombia mostly).  They are usually a fair bit younger and better looking than the typical AW.

I have lived and worked in Santiago De Chile. It was always a treat to have a newbie show up for the first time.  They were usually some guy with the typical pain in the butt AW wife. They had no idea what a "real" woman was like. It is like having a heavy weight lifted from your head.  Many of them went crazy (I know I did the first time). If you worked there for any time at all, you could see the guys planning their divorces, and running around with a young "sweetie" or two.  Single guys are dead meat, they almost never left unmarried.

I have a good buddy who works in Santiago permanently now. He dates from two to three ladies a week, and always looking for someone new. He crys like a little baby if has to come back to NA for any time at all.

The Chilean women are very different than the Colombian women. Chile has the best economy in SA, so there is no desperation factor that you see in Colombia. They are typically very happy, friendly, and affectionate. They are far less flakey than the Colombians. I have yet to see any of our guys get divorced from one.

In my opinion, the rate of relationships between AM and latinas will continue to rise simply because of the present situation with AW.  Not many of us get the opportunity to work in those countries, but the internet has provided a means of contact unavailable before.  

I hope someday that AWs wake up to what there are doing, or otherwise there could be whole generations of middle aged AWs with nobody.

Oh yeah, I volunteer for every job in SA.

take care,
mike

[TG]

... in response to Re: An Interesting question ..., posted by denvermike on Jul 10, 2001

Are there any agencies located in Chile?

[newby jim]

... in response to Re: An Interesting question ..., posted by denvermike on Jul 10, 2001

Most AW will marry if they want to.. there seem to be far more guys around then gals here in the US and a pretty AW can have her pick of the litter. If an AW winds up single, she's got only herself to blame usually. It's a little different for a guy.. there's a lot of competition for a decent gal here.

[yc]

... in response to single ratio, posted by newby jim on Jul 10, 2001

That would seem to explain some of the perplexing questions to AW attitude.  It seems this is the first time in history where men actually outnumber women.

[El Diablo]

... in response to single ratio, posted by newby jim on Jul 10, 2001

Hey Newby Jim,

It may appear that there are "far more" men than women here in the United States, but the U.S Census Bureau says otherwise.  Check it out, here's the URL:

http://www.census.gov/cgi-bin/ipc/idbsum?cty=US

One of the most popular myths put out by some of the Agencies is that there are many more Latinas than Latinos in Colombia.  I wonder what motivates them to put out these exaggerations (lies)? Anyway, here's another Census URL but on Colombia.

http://www.census.gov/cgi-bin/ipc/idbsum?cty=CO

El Diablo

[DallasSteve]

... in response to Re: single ratio, posted by El Diablo on Jul 10, 2001

People talk about the ratio of men and women in one place or another.  The truth is, as El Diablo's references will show, that in almost every location the ratio is so close to 50-50 that the difference is insignificant.

What is significant is that the USA, and many countries, is still largely a polygamous society.  How can that be if polygamy is illegal?  A de facto polygamy develops in many cultures where the desirable males will often carry on relationships with more than one woman at a time.  The females, on the other hand, generally do not want to be involved with more than one man at a time.  This means that some men have several desirable women, and the other men are left to take the "leftovers" or to be alone.

I believe this results in a significant shortage of "desirable" women in this country.  The women have only themselves to blame.  They want a faithful man and yet they tolerate the infidelity.  While needing no justification to marry foreign women, we certainly have good reasons to look for a wife in another country, and this is one of them.

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: An Interesting question ..., posted by denvermike on Jul 10, 2001


I've been thinking about Chile as a possible place to eventually retire.  I bought a travel book a few days ago and have been skimming through it.  I like Colombia but I feel it is too unstable and dangerous a place to live for more than a few months.  But Santiago or Valparaiso appear like good possible alternatives. I would think that these cities are much safer than say Cali but offer the same Latin culture most of us here seem to like.  

How is the cost of living?