Howard's(H2O)wedding is off

[Pete Eiguren]

OK guys,I just got off of the phone with Howard Calling me from Cali and he asked me to post his story as a warning to other guys.
Howard was going to marry his novia J in Las Vegas on the 30th of this month.He had the fiance visa approved.He has been with this girl for about a year.Howard is a Handsome 46 year old guy who speaks pretty good spanish and is in excellent financial shape.In my opinion he could have about any girl in Cali that was interested in a gringo.
The girl he got involved with is 19 (now)and for whatever reason he was taken with her.He rented a very nice 3 bedroom apartment for her in Ciudad Jardine and went down to see her about one week a month.He thought he knew her and was going to marry her.He was even in the process of renting a house for her family.I am sorry I didn't speak up before and my wife who spent some time with this lady thought she definetly did not deserve Howard.But I reasoned I didn't know her well and he is a smart guy who spent a week a month with her so who am I to say.My wife really did not want to talk about her opinions either.
About a week ago Howard confided that there had been some changes in her that toubled him.He talked to all his friends every one told him basically the same thing,she is not sincere and not the girl for you.I guess every one else had been holding their opinion also because he was so loyal to her.
Howard flew to Cali Sunday night,got a hotel room and went to the apartment Monday when she was not there.He found lots of things including flowers and a note profesing love from a guy with a latin name.He confronted her with this and she tried to lie her way out of it but he had the goods on her.He gave her her clothes and said so long.One doorman at the apartment who never said anything but hello and goodby to him opened up and told him she was seeing another guy in the building and that guys were coming and going all the time.
Howard wanted me to tell all of you guys that if you ever have any doubts about the lady you are dating to hire a private investigator to check her out.Howard had heard some stories but choose to believe J and not the stories.He even talked about the investigator but never did it.
Howard is in good spirits and is just glad he found this out before he married her.Already people are introducing him to new ladies they think would be good for him.He said he will stay a couple of weeks and just look around alot.Howard is a great guy and has so much going for him there are lots af women that would love to have him.Actually of all the guys I know I consider him to be the best catch a girl could get.
The other thing I and alot of other people probably feel bad about is we were going to let him marry her even though we all thought she was a bad choice.I guess we should have taken a risk and at least tried to broach the subject.My wife had really strong feelings but didn't want to say anything.When the question did come up last week I handed her the phone and told her he is your friend so tell him what you know and think and she really gave him her opinion in spanish for about 30 miniutes.
Thats the story guys.My wife and I and some other friends are very relieved that he didn't marry her.
I think the moral of the story for guys here is don't ignore those signs and intuition.I think they are always there with a problem girl but even a intelligent and worldly guy like Howard could overlook them.
If anything else comes up I will post.

Pete

[My Honest Opinion]

... in response to Howard's(H2O)wedding is off, posted by Pete Eiguren on Jun 6, 2001

I can't believe it, I just can't believe it.

Are you all surprised about a 19 year old ---teenager--- to respond this way. She's young, without much life experience, and would like to date many people, and fall in love many times. This is part of growing-up, not a sign of poor character. So, please, allow these young women a chance to grow-up, and mature.

Ask yourselves this question, "Would you have been mature enough for marriage at 19 years of age?" If the answer is NO, then don't expect that a girl of this age will be too. If the answer is YES, then you were an unusual person, who matured at a faster pace than the rest. The likelihood to find such fast maturing young people is quite low. Usually, they are off bettering themselves, and not looking for a "MEAL TICKET."

If this girl happened to find a nice younger Latin boy in Colombia, who treats her right, and cares for her, then good for her.

{Post edited by admin]

Please stick to rational argument and avoid name calling if you wish to continue posting (after registering, which is now required for you). WHile I may agree with your opinion of marriages between couples of such significant age difference, I don't insult the men trying to do it.  This guy may have had only the best on intentions.  You don't know him, and therefore, should not judge.[End Edits]

But this is just my opinion..... The Psychologist

[alex]

... in response to Re: Howard's(H2O)wedding is off, posted by My Honest Opinion on Jun 6, 2001

She wanted sex with other men, and she did not have the class to tell Howard, she is a HO. Don't make the American excuse the "they drifted apart" or "she was too young", this is typical PC crap. She was not thinking about her future when this other guy was exchanging DNA with her. YOU KNOW WHAT SHE IS, SAY IT!

[jim c]

... in response to Howard's(H2O)wedding is off, posted by Pete Eiguren on Jun 6, 2001

My condolences and maybe congratulations to howard. I met him with Diego at Unicentro one time. I can appreciate the problem. We never know what a woman is thinking even if she is an AW. At my age {58} I try to restrict myself to women between thirty and forty. Most of them have lived and placed their priorities in order. It would be hard to convince this 19 year old that she had the world by the @ss and threw it away. In six months(maybe)when she is slinging pizzas she will begin to wonder what happened. Especially when Raul dosn't come around anymore.
     My novia brought a young friend of the family to LL. She met a guy in his forties. She was nineteen and had a new baby sired by her former boss. He fired her and refused to pay support.The gringo spent thousands on spanish lessons , gifts for the family, computor,and clothes for the kid. One day she was at the house and said that she was so sad that she was so young and had to marry an old man to support her baby. Needless to say  she did not appreciate her opportunity and take responsability for her life. I told my novia  that she would mess it up and she did.
    The temptation is great, they look so good, but like Eddie Fisher said on his fifth divorce "a pretty face is only a pretty face and not a person". It appears we are all caught between infatuation with beauty and the need for love. Sometimes you have to choose between the two. I'm still trying to choose. I hope some of you get both. jim c

[buzzy]

... in response to Re: Howard's(H2O)wedding is off, posted by jim c on Jun 6, 2001

"Been there, done that."  Boy I hate those words.  LOL but they're true!  Anyway, I still hear from a lady in Lima who left me for her young lover who's also from Lima. We were engaged to be married.  A simple investigative surveillance would have alerted me.  A few dollars compared to the waste of money I experienced. Now she cries to me begging for money.  We have 20 years of age diff between us.  Apparently he left her with a baby for another young lady who also became pregnant with his child.  This guy gets around!  She can't find decent work in Lima.  And she wants to resume with me like nothing happened.  But of course I only see a person who made a bad decision . I don't see someone I want or love.  But things happen for a reason.  I wised up.  She wised up.  It takes what it takes.  LOL.  "Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl."(Quote)

[jesse]

... in response to Re: Howard's(H2O)wedding is off, posted by jim c on Jun 6, 2001

my condolences to howard, and in some respect this may have been good to find out now, before he was married, i'm sure it doesn't feel good at this moment

i'm not willing to say that Howard was wrong because of the age difference.  last week at latin Best i met a 66 year old young guy from Florida.  He too had dated a 19 yr old, but had settled on a 23 yr old lawyer.  he said  he was going to return to the states, sell his house, transfer assets to his kids, then return to Cali and get an apartment and move in the the lawyer.  No one knows how it will turn out, i wish him the best and hope for the best. Hopefully she is a woman of her words and he will help her in whatever way he can and she in turn will support him and they will take care of each other.  He was frank in his assesment, he said that he will not live for ever and just wanted to be happy for the 15 to 20 years he has left on this Earth.  I hope it works out.

Jim, i finally met Martha Calderon, she came over to Norms one night after work last week. She is a bit taller since February. Approaching 6' 1"? So we will continue to talk to see where we go from here.

PEACE

PS i think a lot of 17 to 19 yr olds, from a lot of diifferent countries, think they have the world by the @ss
i had a young lady tell me that after she went to college and med school in Colombia that she was going to come to America and live in florida and make lots of money by being a Dr for the Latin community and would not even have to learn to speak english.  i didn't want to burst her bubble so i told her to check with the folks at the medical school before she started spending all that money.

[jim c]

... in response to Howard's(H2O)wedding is off/ to Jim C, posted by jesse on Jun 6, 2001

Oh, I am not preaching to howard, just waxing poetic. Been there done that.  I'm still recovering from my breakup. Although my problems were a result of her neurotic child. I didn't see the red flags as Larry G would say. Listen Jesse!  Martha is not six one, she is five eleven you only need to get up off the floor and look into her beautiful eyes to see she only looks that tall from down there. By the by did she ask about me? nyuk nyuk I wish I was younger. jim c

[jesse]

... in response to Re: Howard's(H2O)wedding is off/ to Jim ..., posted by jim c on Jun 6, 2001

hey, she wore her heels to meet me!!
she said she wanted to be as tall as possible!

i mentioned you and she said "Jim who?"
then i said the guy i sent to meet you after you stood me up in february!!  then she said "oh yeah, that Jim"

[JUAN]

... in response to Howard's(H2O)wedding is off, posted by Pete Eiguren on Jun 6, 2001

A little too old to be with a 19 year old? You make the guy sound like a great "catch" but really, what in the world can a 46 year old man have in common with a 19 year old kid?

[alex]

... in response to Isn't a 46 year old guy, posted by JUAN on Jun 6, 2001

A 19 year old knows how to keep her legs closed, right

[Larry in Dallas]

... in response to Isn't a 46 year old guy, posted by JUAN on Jun 6, 2001

Dear Sir:

   I met Howard last December and he is a nice man.  He is financially successful (owns a large nursery business) with many employees, didn't look his age but younger.  Yes, he has his teeth and hair.
   Personally, my fiance Nidyan did not like Howard's fiance either when she met her, but since I knew H2O not at all we did not say anything to him.
   Anyway, Howard will find a better lady in Cali next time.

                                  Larry in Dallas

[Pete Eiguren]

... in response to Isn't a 46 year old guy, posted by JUAN on Jun 6, 2001

Juan,
Age differences like this are not common here but in Colombia they can be.If the guy is handsome he can have even the very young girls if he wants.I think the problem was not he is too old but that she is too young.(this may sound stupid).I think he would be better off with a 25+ girl but even some of the 21 year olds can be very mature.In this case I think it was a problem because she is so young and immature he gets discounted for his age even though to a girl even a little older or more mature he would be a prime catch.This is no average 46 year old we are talking about here.I'm sure he could have alot of women here but maybe the real young ones are part of the attraction of Colombia.I met his girl when I first went down and didn't give her a thought,but I am quite a bit older than Howard.I told her and her friend,joking around,that I was looking for 35,not 18.I am now 58 and my wife will be 35 next month.Even though thats a big age difference its not like the same number of years if the girl is only 18 or 19.And of course I don't think I am the average 58 year old,but we can deceive ourselves.
Maybe some guys in their forties still have the immage of a very young girl.I dated women 19 or so when I was in my mid thirties and thought they were definetly too young.For me I still want an attractive woman and I wasn't finding that in women anywhere near my age.
I'm sure Howard can find a great woman if he is a little
carefull.The problem is not finding a woman there(thats a cinch)but finding a good one.

Pete

[jim c]

... in response to Re: Isn't a 46 year old guy, posted by Pete Eiguren on Jun 6, 2001

Me and my big mouth! I never thought the young guys would begin to agree with me. Hey stick to the young senoritas you guys still have time to screw up. Leave the older ones to us senior citizens.  by the way spoke to Robert Simmons of LL today and he indicated that he was going to actively try to sign up older girls and recognized the problem that the agency was overloaded with young ones. jim c

[Houndog]

... in response to Re: Re: Isn't a 46 year old guy, posted by jim c on Jun 7, 2001

I'm not as old as you are however I looked at the calender and did some math..and asked myself a few questions...and Wallllaaaahhhh...."How Much Time Do I Have Left to Keep Screwin Off", Jumped Out at Me Bold......and my answer to myself was 'preferably none'....LOL...so in my case I decided I'd leave being a Sugar Daddy on a Tickin Clock to others and concentrate my efforts on finding and being found by Enduring Love.

Seems so far that by leaving the Denial to others and concentrating on a Goal of "The Last One" instead of simply "The Next One"  I've done just fine.

But each to their own. Although the part I still don't get is why go away from ones home town to be a Sugar Daddy...?

Regards, HD

[jim c]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Funny you mentioned that......., posted by Houndog on Jun 7, 2001

Hi HD

I dont know what your choices were, but I live on an Island packed with tourists. Most of the local women don't have baggage they have baggage trains. Too much money, too many men, too many drugs, too much booze and an attitude that says " I don't need you I have a vibrator". Add that to a statement that my father said to me ten years ago " you are lucky, you haven't had to see an old woman naked" . ( he is eighty five and married a fifty year old five years ago )
     Call me shallow, thats why I go to Cali. I would rather be suspicious of the intentions of a beautiful, trim calena, than of a calculating demanding Aw that only thinks-- what can you do for me?  Naturally I would want the woman that is with me to love and respect me.  But in the process I would like to enjoy looking at her. After many years with beautiful exotic women, I realize my limitations. You can't stop father time. But in Cali you can set the clock back just a little. It is  better than lap dances and fantasys or settling for a fat wrinkeled aged princess with memories of grandure. Hope this doesn't sound depressing to any one,  I still haven't slept with a woman over forty. jim c