For Billyt - My divorce with a Colombian

[david]

Good questions but I think our relationship was very normal in every sense. Unfortunately, we realized we were not meant to be together for life.  We did not fight, it was really just a personality thing.  Even though my ex-wife spoke perfect english, I can still remember moments (not bad moments) when we would speak to each other for ten minutes and not realize we were taking about two different things. Sometimes it was really funny. Sometimes fustrating.

My point being "go for it", the L.W. are very similar in many ways to A.W. Fortunately they do have some differences that can make them great wives.  At this moment, I am planning to spend about 3 months down there and I cannot wait to go.

Three pieces of advice. 1. Don't rush anything in Colombia. 2. Make sure either you or her understands each others lingo. 3. Be very patient... Colombians as with many Latins take their time doing everything. I mean everything. Good luck David

[billyt]

... in response to For Billyt - My divorce with a Colombian, posted by david on May 8, 2001

David, I really appreciate your response and honesty in this matter. Item's #1 & 3 are what I am planning for but #2  is something I will need to address with more resolve knowing how much slang we American's use. Did not really think about it so good point. As for the Spanish speaking part I am going to have to time-slice that in between Java and Solaris 8 certification. :-( No big deal, if I can learn to speak German I suppose Spanish will be no big deal. I guess I need some advice on how to proceed from this point. I would like to be on the receiving end of the initiating process first and see whom is interested in me then go from there. I will probably post to the NG after getting my thoughts together on the correct question(s). Thanks and good luck down below. As I always say; 'Stay loose and frosty.' bill

[david]

... in response to Re: For Billyt - My divorce with a Colom..., posted by billyt on May 9, 2001

Hey if you learned German, Spanish will be a cake walk. In Colombia, you will hear as close to Castillian Spanish than anywhere other than Spain.  This is helpful when you learn spanish from a book.  They really do speak very closely to the true pronounciation.  Anybody, with experience with Cubans or Central Americans will support this. While I could understand much of my ex-wifes spanish, I can hardly understand my own crew whom are from cuba and Nigergua.

Some advise on taxis when you go down.  

1. Never get into a taxis that does not look like the average taxis.

2. Never get into a taxis with anyone other than the driver.

3. When you can, try to telephone the taxis for a pick-up.

I don't want to scare you but I do know Colombians that have been kidnapped in this fashion.  The FARC have people that drive taxis.  These kidnappings all happened in Bogota. Anyway, You should go and I promise you will have the time of your life. Just keep your eyes open other than the Chicas. What agencies are you going to visit? What cities do you want to travel to? Good luck David

[billyt]

... in response to Re: Re: For Billyt - My divorce with a C..., posted by david on May 9, 2001

No special agency or city. I would like to post my bio at one, or a couple, of agencies and let any interested Chica's contact me first. This way I will know they are really interested in me for a possible long-term relationship and I will not waste to much time, money and effort on fruitless pursuits. I am more interested in finding someone who is honest, faithful, easy on the eyes, weight proportional-to-height, kind of touchy-feely type and just a general all-around good person. I am not too religious but it does not bother me about someone's own belief's because I am fairly open-minded. Since I am almost 41 I am probably going to find my choices limited (since I am not interested in someone under, say, 25 years of age because of the social implications) but am willing to be flexible in this area. I was going to have Latin Connections(?) post my info but they filed for chapter 11 recently, I believe, so I am open to any suggestions on a reputable agency for this. I must point out I have 'special' considerations with respect to my employers so I cannot pursue anyone with, say, a questionable past. Any insight will be GREATLY appreciated. TIA. bill

[Sol]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: For Billyt - My divorce with..., posted by billyt on May 10, 2001

Hi,

My experience having posted a bio is that I've gotten very few replies and I don't think it's because I'm undesirable. Others might have different experiences. What I suggest is that you purchase a bunch of addresses of women with email and write to the ones that meet your qualifications. Then, as they write back screen out the ones that aren't a match then make plans to meet a bunch of them when you arrive in their country. You can also make use of an agency when you arrive if you don't have enough possibilities from your letter writing.

I suspect that most Latin women expect the man to court them and that few of them will initiate contact with you from an ad. I get one response every couple of months to an ad I have posted which also circulates to a number of agencies in Colombia.

Get other opinions/experiences.

Sol

[tommi]

... in response to Re: posting a bio, posted by Sol on May 10, 2001

I'm having my bio and pic posted simoultaneously at two agencies this week and next, and also had Norm place a personal ad for me in a local Cali newspaper, just as an experiment. Contact me in 2 to three weeks and I'll let you know how the response turns out.

I'm not the address purchasing type of person and won't knock it. Different strokes for different folks...right?

Good luck.

[billyt]

... in response to Re: Re: posting a bio, posted by tommi on May 10, 2001

Sounds like a plan. Saw Sol's response and must admit he has a valid point. But I have waited this long so waiting a little while longer is no big deal. I will wait until around the middle of June unless I see something posted earlier or receive other convincing arguments. Hope it works out for you. BWA.

[Edge]

... in response to For Billyt - My divorce with a Colombian, posted by david on May 8, 2001

David - good advice, especially items 2&3.  Item 2 - another reason to study Spanish so you can communicate well unless you are lucky enough to find a novia who speaks English.  Item 3 - I have been in many situations in SA where I might have not been as patient in los Estados Unidos as I needed to be there.  I think we nortamericanos tend to be in a hurry many times because that is the nature of our culture.  Por ejemplo - on my last visit to Cali, I stayed at Suites Travelers (a nice, quiet, inexpensive place, if anyone is interested).  On the night before I was to leave, the closet safe malfunctioned and I could not get it open.  Because of one thing or another, neither could the staff.  So I ended up missing my flight and I had to stay another day.  The staff eventually had to call in a locksmith the next day to break into it.  But all turned out well, the airline did not charge me more, I received a free day from the Hotel and my novia was happy because she told me I was very patient through the whole process.  We got to spend another day together!  I have noticed in my relationship with my novia that she places emphasis on being patient and I have seen her be very patient in many situations.

[buzzy]

... in response to Re: good advice, posted by Edge on May 9, 2001

Hey...Edge.  I hope you and your amor are doing well.  I'm curious ..what was her reaction to that hotel bomb in Cali?  Any comments or impressions would be appreciated.  I saw a photo of a very tall building on AOL.  Does it house the hotel to the top floor?  Thanks.

[Edge]

... in response to Re: Re: good advice, posted by buzzy on May 9, 2001

for the good wishes with the novia.  When I called her that day she told me she was very sad.  She went on to explain about "la bomba".  The police cautioned people to stay in their homes.  It was apparently in a parking lot next to the Cali Torre (Cali Tower) which is a tall hotel.  I believe the hotel goes to the top floor, but starts maybe midway up the tower.  Below that is apartment residences.  I  know that there is a nice restaurant on the top floor.  I actually stayed there before and I liked it.  It costs around $45/night with breakfast.  The room is large, etc.  My novia did not really like it because of the altitude of the room.  To tell you the truth, if people do not know of the Suites Travelers, that is a great place.  Nice modern rooms, all tile, with marble counters and a kitchen, located in a nice quiet area (in the north)around other upscale brick apartment buildings.  Cost is $45,50 & 55/night with breakfast in your room. The novia found the place.

Anyway, to get back to the subject.  I know this latest bomb bothered her, but about 6 months ago she had one go off a block away from where she lives (Barrio Limonar).  That one really shook her up.  The family left to get out of that area until late that night. She wanted to leave Cali right then, but of course, it was not possible.  She calmed down pretty soon afterwards.

From conversations I have had, of course the people are very sad about the situation in their country, that it is Colombians fighting Colombians.  They are caught between forces that they cannot control.

[buzzy]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: thanks Buzzy..., posted by Edge on May 9, 2001

Tell me Edge..if things were safe and normal in Cali...and thru out Colombia.... would you ever consider living there on a full time or nearly full time basis?  I know you've been there alot so I respect your opinion on this issue.  Any comment related to this question is appreciated.  Thanks.

[Edge]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: thanks Buzzy..., posted by buzzy on May 10, 2001

Yes -  I have thought about living there.  It is another reason I am trying to learn the language so that if I ever was there for a considerable time,  I would not be totally lost and I would be able to interact and enjoy the experience.  Even though I have traveled quite a bit outside of Cali in the Valle, went up to Lago Calima and went to a neighboring estado, there is so much more that I would love to do and see.  Here in Colorado, riding mountain bikes is my hobby.  The novio of my novia's sister rides frequently so I would like to go with him and his friends on some rides.  But you have the ever present problem of "los guerrilleros".  

I love the culture so I would sure like to move there. But I do not seriously think it is in the cards for awhile.  The one thing that I do not like is the lack of pollution control on their vehicles.  I love just about everything else about Cali, but that is the one thing I could definitely do without.

But some years down the road, I am considering maybe retiring there.  Of course, I hope the political problems are over by then.

[david]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: thanks Buzzy..., posted by buzzy on May 10, 2001

I have often thought of moving back down there and I just might. Being 36 and semi-retired, I think its a great place to hang my hat and chill for some time. To keep myself busy, I thought I might just open a small restaurant and bar. Some people may think it is dangerous there but just last week a bomb went of in London. Go figure.