New to Board

[david]

Hey guys, new to posting here but been to Colombia numerous times over the past 10 years. I have lived in South Florida for the past 20 years but grew up in S. America. I was even married to a Colombian lady. I look forward to contributing were I can.  
David

[RK]

... in response to New to Board, posted by david on May 1, 2001

Hi David How good is your spanish ...i think very good

[buzzy]

... in response to New to Board, posted by david on May 1, 2001

Hey...welcome.  I'm glad you're here.  We need reinforcements.  Some of us, particularly me, need all the help we can get; beg..borrow..or steal.  But... warning! Don't be thin-skinned.  The action here can get hot and heavy.  By the way David..what cities in Colombia do you know?  And since you had a Colombiana for a wife ...would you marry another?  If not, where are you looking?  Thanks.

[david]

... in response to Re: New to Board, posted by buzzy on May 1, 2001

Thanks for the welcome.  I have been to Bogota, Cali, Cart., Peri., Maniz., and the small surrounding towns of these cities.  My wife was from Bogota, however I met her here in South Florida.  She was visiting friends when we met. Unfortunately our marriage did not last for normal reasons. And to answer your question, I would marry another Colombian girl or a lady from South America.  I have never had a problem meeting A.W. but perfer latinas for many of the same reasons the guys on this board share.  My biggest piece of advice is to be very careful with agency girls and do not rush into anything.  Meeting and dating a latina is no different than dating here. Courtships take time.  The best way to meet a quality latina is same as you would here. Take your hobbies for instance. If you enjoy tennis, find a facility in bogota. Even if you do not meet a lady on the courts, you may become friends with a latinas brother or father. Get the picture?  You may find yourself in some very nice social circles. Thats where you meet the ladys "in their social circles". good luck David

[Houndog]

... in response to Re: Re: New to Board - hey buzz, posted by david on May 2, 2001

**My biggest piece of advice is to be very careful with agency girls and do not rush into anything. ***

Why are agency girls any more risky..than any other girls...for example...girls one might meet on vacation or girls one might meet at work, or colledge, or bars, or anywhere else for that matter

**Meeting and dating a latina is no different than dating here. **

Well it sure was in my case. I had to fly for twelve hours one way and was only able to spend a week with her and 3 months apart. I never dated like that before in my life. So what did you mean by that. Just curious.

**Courtships take time. The best way to meet a quality latina is same as you would here. **

Well yea sorta, except that many of us(most) are from relationships that didn't work out, and according to you, you also fall into that category....so if most of us didn't/couldn't meet "The Right One" that would last forever here then why should it be different there??

I would like to add a couple things. 'MOST' of the guys that read and participate on this board met our ladies thru or with the help of agencies. Also, very few here live in south Florida and can travel to LA on a weekly, monthly or even semi-monthly basis. In fact I think for the vast majority of the guys here 3-4 trips a year is about the limit. With many only able to make 1-2 trips a year. While that certianly increases the "risk element" my personal belief is that if one knows himself and has the ability to somewhat judge the character of others it will help to remove at least 'some' of the risk. IMO assesing others with a list of criteria of compatibility is important. Like Morals, Values and Character. And heck, it might even help to also BE The One, while trying to find "The One".

Regards, Houndog

[david]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: New to Board -, posted by Houndog on May 2, 2001

Hey Houndog. Good response to my remarks but I have some thoughts for you.  First, I did not say avoid agency girls but just be careful with them. And when being careful I think this would simply imply extra time to know the individual's true intentions. When speaking to my colombian friends and hearing comments from my ex-wife, I can only think that agency girls may be a high risk population of ladies. I AM NOT SAYING THERE ARE NOT SINCERE AND HONEST WOMEN IN THE AGENCIES. Only that the agency scene will attract alot of women with alternative motives.

I can appreciate the fact that some guys have a logistical problem going to Col. But that is no reason to rush into marriage.

Your other comment on the ability to judge character. I do not know how anybody can judge a persons character and intentions in a short period of time. Your odds are better at a casino.  Remember, everybody is on their best behavior at first.  I have even heard of guys getting engaged within a matter of a day or two of meeting somebody.  Good luck to them, but I would certainly want more quality contact time before I commit myself and her to a bond for life.

Anyway, I know the culture and its people very well and appreciate everything it has to offer.  Having lived down there as a child and traveling there as an adult, I sometimes want to live there full time. This may happen. And before you ask, My spanish is terrible. I would be happy to contribute anyway I can to this board. David

[Houndog]

... in response to Hello Houndog, posted by david on May 2, 2001

Hey David, First I'm not dissin you or trying to. But I can tell you for a fact, that there are women with "alterior motives" everywhere and in abundance. No group, country, time zone, or any other quantifier has the corner on the market with men or women with alterior motives. You can take that to the bank, it will cash.

I agree that rushing into marriage isn't the best plan around. And the K1 visa specificaly address's the issue of speed, just in it's inherent nature. However, one of our guys here did hurry. And payed the price for it, but through perserverance and effort and hard work, he recently posted that he thinks they have turned the corner and are working towards their goal of a happy, satisfying, rewarding marriage.(Hey Pete if I'm wrong correct me). That said, I didn't rush in and you're right, it increases the risk of failure tremedously if one does IMO. However, many of the women in the Introduction Arena ARE looking for a REAL commitment from 'their man'. And so are MOST of the men. That is one of the main reasons guys use agencies, to narrow the field to only women that have made an effort to express their desire to find a "permanant partner".  While all women probably want a relationship, most of the guys in this venue generaly prefer women that 1)Have puplicaly expressed a desire for a husband 2)Have expressed a desire for it to be a gringo 3)Have expressed a desire for it to be Near Term...rather than simply someday, maybe.

And if you look around, like right here in the US, you will see that Introduction Agencies are HUGE...and the only real difference is the different countries. Yes there is culture and language, but the men and women have already accepted those issues on the front end, willingly. So it's only a matter of Long Term Acceptance and Compatibility that need to be addressed. You factor the LOVE into the Acceptance & Compatibility equation.

You ask how can one person know (judge) another. Well, while not a simple proposition, it is a very achievable goal. It does require Effort and Desire. Anyone that has had a failed marriage should certianly have the desire, unless they plan to continue to choose wrong or just pray for luck. Personally I tried luck and it didn't work out that well for me. So believing there had to be a better way to happiness than luck, I Lucked upon Learning. Learning where I had gone wrong in the past. Sure enough, it was Me that said I Do to the wrong woman. I discovered 'My Picker' was broken or needed recalibrating. To 'recalibrate' my picker I needed tools. To find those 'tools' and put them to good use is where all the 'effort' comes in. Nope, no free lunch. However the beauty of it all was that I was going to be the BIG WINNER. I could develop skills I always had but had never highly developed. Therefore once I learned to use these newly refined skills and attributes I could prevent if used, repeating past mistakes. An example of which could be, say,...picking only based on looks...ignoring red flags...saying I do to incompatible women...

This effort I'm talking about is called "Checkin Yourself Before Wreckin Yourself". Or "Doing Ones Homework". Whichever one prefers. I'm not going to go into the details, however in the archives, starting at the beggining, exists all the tools for building a RoadMap to ones own future success and happiness. Of course after reading the directions we still have to follow them .

Regards, Houndog  

[Alberto]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: New to Board -, posted by Houndog on May 2, 2001

Bravo Houndog!  excellent post. Everything is relative, I even met ladies in the food  lines, back in Cuba. It is not where you meet, but WHO you meet.

***Be very careful with the agency ladies.

Be very careful with the ladies you meet in a disco or bar in the US. I'm sure they want something, they certainly are not waiting for the bus in there.

I can go on, but is it necessary ?

Regards

Alberto

[Starman]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: New to Board -, posted by Houndog on May 2, 2001

n/t