Cheating

[chris in cali]

I was wondering,most or all Latin women say the reason the are looking for an American man is because the men in SA cheat on them all the time. Well who are they cheating with? Doesnt this mean that the women cheat all the time also?

[Pete Eiguren]

... in response to Cheating, posted by chris in cali on Apr 8, 2001

Chris,
I asked the same question and the answer I got was very young girls.When they go through their rebellious and independent period at 14 or so they can just go down to any bar and meet older guys.A lady I know sent her 14 year old daughter to live with relatives out of the country because she was sneaking out of the house and going to bars.
Some of the ladies you meet in the agencies may be 18-21 and have a kid already.Now that they are a mother they are looking for a husband more than playing around.A friend of mine dated a 21 year old with a kid.She had a tatoo and this to him meant she had been a wild girl and he passed on her.

Pete

[Houndog]

... in response to Cheating, posted by chris in cali on Apr 8, 2001

I've seen this question/argument quite a few times over the last couple of years. IMO, in order to gain some measure of understanding, it is helpful to view "Women As People Too".....once one can stand back and let that sink in, then it will become easier to understand that the men are cheating with available women. Just 'who' those availible women are can only be determined on an individual basis.

But for the purposes of Generalizations....(which have little value when talking about specific people in many instances IMO)...some of the catagories could include...1) Party Girls...2) Jilted Women...3)Women being treated Badly in order to Punish..4)Women in relationships being neglected...5)Women lacking Morals..6) Very Selfish, Self Centered Women...7)Women who have entered into a relationship of convenience (where actual love doesn't exist)....I'm sure there are many more possibilities, but this should give you an idea of the possibilies.

I think on an individual basis...Red Flags...as to the persons behaviour, (such as many excuses that don't make sense)would be something to think about.

The area to look at would be the Issue of Trust. If you find youself not believing, losing trust in a persons words vs actions then this would be a concern to me.

In my last marriage for example, my x wife started wearing make up to go to work suddenly. Although I noticed the change in "behaviour" alarm bells didn't go off until a short time later, she stayed out all night. The next day after coming home, she said she got drunk and stayed at a GF's house. Although one can never have definative proof someone is lying in many cases....my "trust in her" was destroyed at that point. Not wanting a marriage without trust led me to file for divorce. A footnote to this, after telling her I wanted a divorce her 'behaviour' suggested she wasn't that surprised or unprepared for this news. Which led me to investigate why. I discovered multiple emails she was sending to her boss and evidently lover. So my loss of trust in her was well placed. And that loss was based on her actions vs her words. They didn't match IOW's.

Hope this helps, Houndog