all's quiet on the Western Front ????

[Windmill Boy]

Howdy  everyone

Wow  4  days  without  a  substancial  new  post ----  that has  to  be  a  new   P.-L.  record !!!    Or at  least  since  I've  been a  member  starting from  summer 2000.

Well, I  am  happy  to  report that  things  continue  get  better  and  better  with  Kat  and  myself.  We  are  in  daily  e-mail  contact, occasional  phone calls (fortunately  they  are  only  6  cents  a minute to  China), and  we  are  starting  to  do  some  marathon  instant  messaging  sessions (her preference).  we  are  beginning  to  get into  the  nitty  gritty  areas  of  the  relationship finding  out  where  each  of  us  are  coming  from  and  where  we  expect  to  be  going  together.  

Fortunately  we  have  a  very  open  dialog together.  I  encourage her  to  be assertive,  to  speak  her  mind, ask  questions  and  I  am  answering  them  honestly,  even  when  they  are  encroaching the  totally  hidden  side  of  my  personality  that I  don't  share with anyone.   We all have that zone of our personalities don't  we ?
She  is  for  the  most  part  respectfull, passive,  and  not  very  inquisitive really,   but  I  want  her  to  be comfortable  in addressing  anything she  wants  to.  She  prefers  to  be   and  envisions  being  the  supportive second  fiddle  but  I am  encouraging  her  to  think  more  about  being  the  star  soloist performer  at  times  also.

I  think  we  are  both rather  confident  that  we  are a  good  match  for  each other  and  it  is  intersting  how  we  both  kind  of  knew  this  about  each  other.   She  had  32  men expressing interest,  each with pictures,  and  she somehow  focused  in  on  me.   I  felt that  I  should  write  with  her somehow even  though it  was  sight unseen.  I  was  distracted with someone else,  after  her  first  reply  but  I  chose  to keep  writting  with her anyways  after  waiting  5  days after receiving  the  first  message.   By the  3rd  or  4th  letter  i knew  that I  had  made  the  right  connection  that I've  been  looking  for.   It's  kinda  wierd  I  cant  explain  it  but  I'm  very  happy  with  the  end  result  though.

Next  step  is  saving  for  the  trip  to  China  in  the  Spring time.  Verifying  that  it  is  even  better between us  in  real  life  than  it is  through  correspondence and calls.  And  if  we  both  agree  that  it  is,  popping  the  question and  making  plans  from  there is  on  the  agenda.  I  suppose I have a 1 track  mind now.  my  coworkers  are  sick  of me  only talking  about  her.  I v'e  canceled a  couple  of  the  match agency  memberships  and  I'm waiting  for  the  other one,  that brought  us  together  to run  out.   Basically  I  am  not really   interested in  pursuing  anyone  else online  or  in  every  day  life  either.

She  is  a  traditional Woman for  the  most  part,  but she's been  exposed  to  modern city culture.  It sure will be an intersting  ride in seeing  how  we  will  blend  and  compromise  eastern  and  western cultures and  their  ideas together.  I  don't  regret  going  down this path  at  all  and  it will  be  a much more interesting experience  that meeting  and marrying  the  girl  next  door  from  your  hometown.

Windy --  trying  to  breathe  some life back  into  this  board !!!

[joemc]

... in response to all's  quiet   on   the  Western  Front ..., posted by Windmill Boy on Oct 28, 2003

Hi Eric,
        Good luck, and it's good hearing from you.
       
                                             joemc

[Jimbo]

... in response to all's  quiet   on   the  Western  Front ..., posted by Windmill Boy on Oct 28, 2003

Hello WB,

Sounds like you're really excited - I'm happy for you.

Re: "..the totally hidden side of my personality that I don't share with anyone. We all have that zone of our personalities don't we ?"  ---some people do, that's for sure.  You'll have to find out what her's is, if it exists.

This ties in with something Peter mentioned about dating his bossy Taiwan girl:  "Even the sex was under her control."  Maybe Peter found out that she was a latent dominatrix!  Not that there's anything wrong with that but it's certainly an example of a hidden personality aspect that needs to be considered in the compatibility rating.

Jim

[Windmill Boy]

... in response to Re: the  Eastern  Front, posted by Jimbo on Oct 29, 2003

Thanks  Jimbo

in  reference  to  Peter's  excerpt above  I  think  a  person  will be  considered  bossy  and  domineering  only  if  you  are willing  to  put  up  with  it  and  play along  in  the role  playing.  Like  you  said ... nothing  wrong  with  it ... I suppose,  if this  is  the  road  one  wants to go down to  be  with the  domineering  one in  the  relationship.

I highly  doubt  that  I  will  be  having  those  concerns  with Her.   She  e-mailed  me  today  almost  apologizing that  She  suggested  next  february  would  be a  good  time  to  visit  her versus  march or  april, last  night.   She  wrote to me today telling me it  wasn't  her  place  to advise  me when  to  visit her  and  that I should visit  her  when I want to  and  when I  am  ready to.     What  can I  say  except  her personality  frequently  humbles  me  when I  think  how  good I have it  that  she is such  a  sweet thoughtfull woman.

Jimbo  I  cetainly  miss  beantown in the fall.  Are  you  and  Sally  gettiing  in  any  nice  foliage  drives  into  Vermont or New Hampshire?  I  sure  could  go  for  a  goog  Gallon  or  two  of  good  authentic  Cider  This stuff  in California  is really lousy.  Trader  joes  offeres it  but it  is  very  expensive,  loaded  down  with  spices and  lemon too.   Someting  special  about having  a  nice  nip  in  the  air and  blowing  leaves too.   But I  have  to  admit  tha t life  in  califoria  has  been  a  little  interesting  from  the  effects  of  the  forest  fires  too.  ash  on  my  car  and I  am  30 - 40  miles  away.  and  the  sunsets  and other  effect  on  the sun  like a  big  corona  around  the  sun  is  kinda  intersting to look  at  too.

Watch  out  for  devils  night  tomorrow !!!!

windy

[Jimbo]

... in response to Re: Re: the  Eastern  Front, posted by Windmill Boy on Oct 29, 2003

Hi WB,

No drives to mountain country this fall but we've done coastal NH and Rockport MA (Cape Ann).  Portsmouth Harbor is a very pretty place right now.  The local cider is just plain cider as you know and usually very good but our first batch this year was quite bitter for some reason.

This weekend will be Indian Summer, a beautiful 60 degrees and sunny.  I'll take Sally someplace if I can get her to part with her new karaoke machine.  She's thrilled with the thing!  Filipinas and karaoke - there's a recipe for happiness!

Jim

[Peter Lee]

... in response to all's  quiet   on   the  Western  Front ..., posted by Windmill Boy on Oct 28, 2003

I regard the Chinese women the most beautiful in the world.   I had dated a Taiwan girl for 6 months and she cooked like a Chinese restaurant.   Every where I went heads turned.  A lot of Chinese girls are working in the restaurants here in Daytona.  They are mostly from New York China town and they make good money as waitresses with the tips from tourists.  Mostly they are unfriendly and look for their own kind to marry.  
I like what you’re doing but I also think you should continue to pursue others in case when you go to China you have a back up plan.  I did that when I went to see the email gale in the Philippines and I was glad that I did, the girl in Davao did not work out.  We chatted and emailed for 5 months.  When I met her I was disappointed and did not know how to get out of this situation without hurting her feelings.   Later in Cebu I met more ladies on my list and because we did not have a relationship with the email it was easy to go and see another one the next day without hurting feelings.   But you are set in your ways and no one will change your mind about it.   I wish you more than luck.  Your heart is set on seeing her and you will go to much expense to finish your plan.   If you come to your senses you might do what I suggested and be better prepared if things go wrong.   If things go right you’re back up plans will not hurt you.   Remember you’re still single and can do what ever you want.  
I don’t know where you live but if you go to any china town you will see how alien you are compared to other Asian nationalities.   The Taiwan girl turned out to be not only bossy but ready to take over my whole life.   I didn’t mind it and it took a lot of responsibility from me and made life easier.   It was not what I expected from this pretty little shy girl who acted submissive and meek.   In a short time she was running my life and telling me what to do.   Even the sex was under her control, we ate what she wanted to eat and it was good but she never asked Peter what would you like to eat tonight.   I could have endured that for the rest of my life but things happened later that caused us to separate.   It was a long story about going to the Bahamas on my sailboat which I don’t want to get into right now.   She later wanted to get back together with me after she had made her RN nursing degree.   I would guess that if your girl had 35 men writing her she has a contingency plan if you don’t work out.   I have to say that after spending 20 years in the far east and dating various ladies for long stretches of time I finally looked to the Philippines.   It seemed the whole country was locked into the 60’s the old fashion ways that we lost so many years ago.  We had it here in the USA then and lost it.   Women wanted to get married and raise a family.   Songs were great then and we sang them out load as they still do there.   I had found what I was looking for all these years but I am only one isolated case.   I am married to a Filipina and it seems to work out so far.   So don’t take this thread so serious it is only my experience and may not pertain to you.   But if I was ever to get into a business and wanted a hard worker a Chinese wife would most likely make me rich.   Bring her over and get out of her way LOL.   Don’t say I didn’t tell you so.   The  Philippines which we love so much is run business wise by the Chinese so go figure the rest.  
I hope you will find love and happiness in your new adventure  

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: all's  quiet   on   the  Western  Fr..., posted by Peter Lee on Oct 29, 2003

It's pretty hard to check off 1/3 of the world's women based on the experiences with one girl who was an American with Chinese features. Woman to woman in any country, even in a single family, can vary tremendously (woe be to the poor bast#rds who have or will hook up with my wife's sister!)

I, too, know many Chinese. Like many far eastern cultures, the women have been charged with running the households, and, in general, they do so competently. This means being strong and smart about all the details of modern life. My wife (Japanese) and many of the Filipinas (especially the ones who post here) fit that generality as well. Yes, I've known a few Chinese women who are princesses, trying to be the center of their universes, especially those who were quite Americanized, but most from the old country are strong team players. I've known some who wouldn't consider anyone who wasn't Chinese also, but remember, we're talking about a LOT of Chinese. Get one from the old country and they can be just as traditional as a girl from anywhere else.

If you're looking for subserviance, I don't think anywhere in Asia is your answer, unless you look long and hard for a real weakling. Maybe Mexico would be a better choice. I have a Latina employee who came crying that her husband quit beating her, so he must not love her any more - pretty sad.

Having met Eric a few times, his nature is friendly, agreeable and eager to find common ground. I think a nice Chinese girl with similar traits would make a fine choice for him. As I've posted many times before, there are good and bad women in every country. (men too) China is no exception.

- Jeff

PS - Way to go Eric! Best wishes to you too.

[Windmill Boy]

... in response to Re: Re: all's  quiet   on   the  Western..., posted by Jeff S on Oct 29, 2003

Jeff

Thanks  for  the  words  of  support.  I'm rather  happy  with the  caliber  of  woman  that  I  think  I've  found.  she  is  a  wholesome  girl.  She's  keeping  me  on  my  toes.   she  wrote  today that she  just  discovered  some  childhood  photo's  from  age  5  she's  going to scan  them  in  and  send  them  to  me  tomorrow and I  have  to  determine  who she  is  versus her cousin  who  is  also  in  the  photos.

Eric

PS  i  also  just  wanted  to  post  to  break  up  th  4  day  no  posting streak too.

[Dave H]

... in response to all's  quiet   on   the  Western  Front ..., posted by Windmill Boy on Oct 28, 2003

Hi WB,

That is great news! Don't let the woman's libbers make you feel guilty about her prefering to be the supportive second fiddle. That is their culture and what makes her happy. Unfortunately, many women in the West are trying so hard to be men that they no longer have these womanly qualities. I hope that things continue to go well and is even better in  person.

Dave H.