Japanese Women and American Men

[Jeff S]

I read all manner of posts on this board about what Japanese women are after and what they expect, the vast majority of which are absolute nonsense. Japan has 140 million people, half the population of the United States. Among them, like in any other large society, you will find all classes of people from polite society to tatooed, pierced drug dealers. There are debutante princesses and burakumin (the untouchable class, considered unfit to marry perhaps because one of their ancestors worked as a butcher or shoemaker.)

Because of the very strong US military presence in Japan over the past 55 years, there are probably more Japanese/American marriages than from nearly any other nation in Asia - though of late, I suspect the PI is surpassing Japan in new marriages. Think Japanese only marry upper class businessmen? Sit in the US Embassy in Tokyo for a few hours on any business day and you'll go away thinking otherwise. Plenty of young sailors and soldiers are in their with their new Japanese sweeties registering their marriages. Think they only like blonde/blue men? Think again. In fact if you're African American, you probably have a better chance in Japan than anywhere else in Asia. There's a strong interest in American black culture in Japan. Think they don't like Americans? Wrong again. Since WWII, American people, culture, and trends have been of primary interest in Jaapn. Though MacArthur was instrumental in defeating Japan, he was also the main, driving force in saving the Japanese culture in the late 40s. Japanese love America, Americans, American fashion, music, movies, culture, and anything else American.

Japan's economic bubble burst in about 1990 because of some horrible banking practices and governmental bailouts of some major businesses that should have been allowed to be put out of their misery. Their propserous years were only a decade long, the 80s - so the concept that they're all rich is nonsense. They're a VERY thrifty people in general and even when the cash was flowing, most chose to save their earnings rather than to blow it on stuff, like Americans seem to love to. Spiritual and emotional issues take a far more important place in modern Japanese women's lives and dreams than do materialistic hopes.

Well, there's the big language problem. Nope, yet another misconception. Japanese are some of the most educated people in the world and English is manditory subject in school. Don't get me wrong, not all Japanese are fluent, but I never met one who couldn't speak some, but more importantly, could read the language fairly well. Grammar and written English seem to take precidence over conversation in their schools.

I'm not saying a Japanese wife is for everyone - nor am I saying it's an easy thing to do. To meet and marry a Japanese lady, you need to have an interest in Japanese culture, history, langiuage, food, etc. Japanese women are neither compliant or subserviant - they're likely quite strong and intelligent - but, like nearly all Asian women, understand that men and women are different, and understand how the husband and wife work together as a team, I think the most basic of the misunderstandings of modern American men and women. I was very lucky to have marryied a lovely intelligent lady, and even though she came from a well-to-do background,  more interested in the happiness of her family, than in gaining material possessions. She's very thrifty, not interested in fancy cars, cruises, expensive jewlery, or other visible signs of wealth. Of course, I consider her one-of-a-kind, but that doesn't mean that others can't just as easily find the same level of happiness I managed to.

But as I mentioned in an earlier post, many of people's concerns of having a foreign wife, like supporting her family, getting a visa, sponsoring her family, long flights, expensive phone calls, adapting to modern society, internet access, teaching her to manage money, drive, use an ATM, whatever - become non-issues with a Japanese lady. When we were dating, I went twice to Japan to visit her, and she came to California twice to visit me, so we were able to spend over 13 weeks together over a period of two and a half years before we were married. We got to know each other far better than many who pursue this course.

As for the professions of the Japanese/American couples I know, Let's see there are three engineers, one framing contractor, two teachers, a wedding photographer, an aircraft mechanic, a factory floor supervisor, a merchant seaman, a couple of retired military, a lawyer, and a resturaunt owner (his wife waits tables,) and a performance auto parts salesman. It's not exactly a who's who of executives.

Just a quick reality check for the ongoing comments about how Japanese women are only a muse for the wealthy.

- Jeff

[Bob S]

... in response to Japanese Women and American Men, posted by Jeff S on Sep 3, 2003

You'll let out our little secret!  We already got enough Cannuks, Brits, Yanks, and Aussies playing Charisma-Man here.  Don't encourage them!

Let's face it.  While Japanese women are the most perfect women in the world due to that mix of East and West cultures, Japan itself makes courtship problematic at best due to being so tourist un-friendly.  Without insider connections or some language skill, prices for English-only tourists are through the roof, easily 5 times what a Phils traveler can expect to pay for similar services.

Due to my teaching position, I know a number of women from their early 20s to their early 40s who would like to find a good man to marry.  Some are plain with fun personalities, some are major hotties and as shallow as a sidewalk puddle.  But they are still hoping to find something better than the local abusive, philandering, chain-smoking, drunken, boring, couch potatoes they're accustomed to.  American men's main advantage is a reputation for being helpful and supportive around the house.  (Though to remain competative, Japanese men have started spreading the rumor that American men are much more abusive in the privacy of their home.  Watch out for that.)  But if you've got nothing better in terms of character or personality to offer a Japanese woman than what she kind find locally, it may take you a looong time to find your soulmate here.  But not impossible.  Jeff is right about the visa section of the U.S. embassy.  You see a wide variety of people come through there.  No matter how loud, obnoxious, low class, and vulgar you are, you can find a compatible match here if you can manage to stay long enough.

[don2222]

... in response to Shhhh.... Jeff,, posted by Bob S on Sep 4, 2003

[This message has been edited by don2222]

Hi Bob,
 I live in the Phils, and the local men here do the same thing.  I am constantly hearing crazy stories about foreigners, especially Americans. Actually, most Filipinos call all foreigners Americans. This is some of the crazy stuff the local men tell the Filipinas:

"The American will take the Filipina to America and kill her for insurance money."

"The American will sell the Filipina to his friends."

"The American may have a bigger *****, but the Filipinos is much stronger." I hear talk about that all the time !!!

All sorts of stories about Americans being abusive, but almost every day I read in the Filipino paper about some Filipino cutting off the head of his wife or her lover, or about some Filipino father raping his daughter, and they never talk about that.

"Every Filipina with a foreigner is a prostitute."  I understand enough Visayan to know when a woman I am with is being insulted, and it is very common for a Filipino man to call the woman I am with a prostitute in Visayan.
They will typically mutter it under their breathe as we walk by, but it has been shouted at us by men driving by.
A lot of the local men say some really nasty things to Filipinas with foreigners, but as soon as their daughter wants to marry a foreigner they turn all sweet and polite to the foreigner because they want that money from America.
They never say anything to me, but I do understand many of the bad words in Visayan that they say to the women.

"The American will take the Filipina to America to work as a prostitute."

"That if a Filipina has a relationship with a foreigner she will then be "physically unfit" to later be with a Filipino."

There are more crazy things I hear, but this is all i can remember for now.

Don

[Bob S]

... in response to What the Filipino men say ....., posted by don2222 on Sep 4, 2003

"The American may have a bigger *****, but..."

Yeah, I heard the same here.  Americans are bigger but Japanese are harder or some such.   Whatever.  Japanese women are also told that if a man is sufficiently aroused and healthy, he will orgasm quickly after just a few seconds of minimal effort, and a happy woman should hope for a man who finishes quickly.

This place has a large "pink" industry to serve the native male population, but birth control pills for women were just recently legalized.  Is it any wonder the women have a fascination with foreign men?

[Jeff S]

... in response to What the Filipino men say ....., posted by don2222 on Sep 4, 2003

American men are big ... but soft, while Japanese men are always hard. Yeah, right - they sure have an international reputation for being studs.

- Jeff

[Dave H]

... in response to I heard that in Japan too ...., posted by Jeff S on Sep 4, 2003

[This message has been edited by Dave H]

Hi Jeff,

A California engineer while in Japan for some meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in Tokyo a day earlier than expected. Feeling lonely that evening, he employed the services of a beautiful young Japanese girl to be his companion for the evening. Although the Japanese girl spoke very little English and the businessman spoke no Japanese, their passion roared, and in the heat of the moment she began yelling "Gama Su!, Gama Su!". Hearing this, the Californian knew he had pleased his female Japanese friend and soon afterwards went to sleep.

The next day while playing golf with his Japanese engineering colleagues, one of his Japanese partners holed his shot from 170 yards away! Everyone went crazy and began yelling excitedly in Japanese. Wanting to impress his friends, the Californian joined in and began yelling "Gama Su! Gama Su!".

Suddenly everyone became quiet. After a moment of silence, one of the Japanese turned to him and asked: "Wrong hole? What do you mean wrong hole?"

Dave H. )))

[Humabdos]

... in response to What I Heard..., posted by Dave H on Sep 4, 2003

Japanese people have sex the least among countries and territories surveyed, the results of a global survey on sexual attitudes and behavior showed Tuesday. The study, which polled 18,500 people aged 16 to 55 in 28 countries and territories, found Japanese make love only 36 times a year.  (Wow! bummer

Americans make love more than any other nation at an average of 124 times a year, followed by Greeks at 117 times, South Africans and Croatians both at 116 times, and New Zealanders at 115 times. The survey was conducted by SSL International PLC, the manufacturer of Durex condoms. (Kyodo News)

Maybe that's why all the kinky sex

Hum

[Dave H]

... in response to Japanese getting it least says global su..., posted by Humabdos on Sep 4, 2003

N/T

[Jeff S]

... in response to Then I'd Better Slow Down! LOL (n/t), posted by Dave H on Sep 4, 2003

.

[NoNamePinay]

... in response to What I Heard..., posted by Dave H on Sep 4, 2003


Hi Dave,
you made me laugh so hard after reading your post, that was funny *lol*

[Peaches]

... in response to What I Heard..., posted by Dave H on Sep 4, 2003


Help!!! I'm out of breath. ))))

[Carr]

... in response to What I Heard..., posted by Dave H on Sep 4, 2003

Will you please warn me before posting something like this? My monitor is soaked from the spit-out coke!  Too funny!

[Dave H]

... in response to Ahahaha Kuya Dabe!, posted by Carr on Sep 4, 2003

Hi C,

It just reminded me so much of Jeff...Califonia engineer in Japan. LOL

Kuya Dabe

[jon]

... in response to Ahahaha Kuya Dabe!, posted by Carr on Sep 4, 2003

[Jeff S]

... in response to Shhhh.... Jeff,, posted by Bob S on Sep 4, 2003

Coming back next month? I hear the aerospace companies are hiring again, Northrup Grumman in El Segundo is advertising heavily. You might want to check with elcolombiano on the Latin board (Alan). If you want me to send you the Sunday classifieds or anything, just let me know.

- Jeff