Thoughts on Protecting Oneself

[WmGo]

First let me say that I am sorry to read of Frank's situation. My prayers go out to him. Second, I want to briefly share some of my thoughts on the matter of protecting oneself. These are as follows:

1. The importance of avoiding women under 25 years old. I don't know Frank's wife's age but I think that women under 25 are simply not fully developed mentally. Women regardless of nationality are not, generally, grown up and mature until they are somewhere between 25 and 30 IMO.

2. If they are not proficient in the English language forget it. How can you really get to know someone who you cannot speak with in intimate detail?

3. Cultural differences are more profound than most men realize, especially in relationships. The truth is that FSUW want an east Slavic man with everything that goes with it minus the drinking and cavorting. Bear this in mind.

4. Only go the k-1 route so that you at least have 3 months to decide.

5. If things crap out soon after marriage or k-1 arrival, and this is what I really wanted to talk about, the man has got to play things really safe and cool. The less said the better - especially if you smell a rat. Hopefully you have not shared all of your personal financial information. Hopefully you have not fessed up to your true financial worth, assets, etc. It is best that the FSUW never really know what you have and don't have - she needs to know what middle class is and means - don't let an FSUW think that you (or all Americans) are rich. Dispel this notion from the beginning. Let the FSUW know that she will need to work and you expect her to do so for the mutual benefit of the family. She needs to know that she is a pioneer going to blaze a trail of hard work for her family - not a trip to perpetual Disney Land, shopping and entertainment.

6.Consider this: if the woman really turns out to be a fraud , maybe it is wise to just go on a quick return home trip with her so that she can see her family for a few days, take her home, then slip back to the airport and return home. Maybe this would be a quicker cleaner way of disposing of a problem. I am not suggesting that anyone should do this, it is just a thought. And makes sure the locks are changed when you return home.

7. This wasn't brief or particularly well thought out but it is just some things that come to mind.

Caveat emptor!

[RickM]

... in response to Thoughts on Protecting Oneself, posted by WmGo on May 24, 2005

If I knew now what I didn't know (or forgot) 5 or so years ago...I'd still be single,living with-out any grief and doing things my way,when I felf like it,without the worry of tugging the family (and in-laws) in tow...

I can get companionship and laid "anywhere"...That was never a problem in my life...

Now...Since I've been married to a RW...It is like I have a instant family of 5 or 7....
NONE of who want to work or get ambitious with their lives...But!...They know how to make a point of how to complain about all of their needs and problems...

If I were starting over..."I'd" be looking for a sugarbaby to take care of "me" and bring "me" to a new world and life...

And if all didn't work out well...Guess I'd just have to return home to my old boring life and grow some tomatoes or something to keep busy )

[Frank O]

... in response to Thoughts on Protecting Oneself, posted by WmGo on May 24, 2005

My wife kept bringing that one up. "Ukrainian have honor they...." then she would go on to something I did "wrong" & how much better men they are. Oh well. As fr #6 I remember reading someone here doing EXACTLY that.
My wife is 20 so that's not wise. She IS VERY fluent in English. I used a K3 & NOT a K1 I would STRONGLY advise anyone against the k3.

[KenC]

... in response to Thoughts on Protecting Oneself, posted by WmGo on May 24, 2005

How about a very simple idea: Know the woman you marry?  If she cannot speak English, this is next to impossible.  The higher the risk catagory (very young for example) the more time you need to know her even more thoroughly.  There ARE NO SHORTCUTS.  Take all the time necessary, after all, it IS YOUR life we're talking about.
KenC

[WmGo]

... in response to How about this?, posted by KenC on May 25, 2005

[This message has been edited by WmGo]

yes, good idea - obviously implied
in my post - too obvious (or should be)
to have to say it out loud - but a good
reminder nonetheless.

[tim360z]

... in response to Thoughts on Protecting Oneself, posted by WmGo on May 24, 2005

and would be a good route to follow in some cases.

[Streetwise]

... in response to # 6 is a pearl of wisdom WmGo, posted by tim360z on May 25, 2005

...just be careful to act very natural. And to get maximum value, maybe use the same trip to meet more RW's in another city (make sure the hotmail account you use for correspondence is secure!)

On that subject, I had a Latvian girl come stay with me for a few weeks (no marriage plans at that stage, just early stages of a relationship.) Anyway, she helped herself to my laptop which I hadn't secured with a password and literally within seconds she was into stuff I didn't know still existed, her computer literacy was staggering. Those who are out to screw you are often also the most suspicious themselves, they automatically assume that their devious attributes are shared by everyone else!

[wsbill]

... in response to Echo that..., posted by Streetwise on May 25, 2005

These women are so poor to not be able to write you on their dime.  But they can crack into your laptop in seconds flat.

Imagine if you guys were marrying female russian spies, they come over here and infiltrate our country and take over.

Wouldn't it make more sense to marry a girl from latin america, being since they're going to be taking over in the next 100 years and since our border is  wide open, you don't have to go on any lengthy airline flights and such.

Just across the damn desert of Mexico.  Gee, I think that's where I'm going to start lookin now.