... in response to Re: More insights into what went wrong, posted by Jeff S on Nov 30, 2002Yes, there were signs when I went to Prague to meet with Natasha, but my love for her blinded me to those. I guess I was fairly desperate at the time, and wanted a wife so much.
When she picked me up from the Airport, I looked at her body and said, "wow", very nice. She looked good, I remember the day very well.
We took a taxi back to her apartment, everything seemed fine until we went into her room, she laid down on her bed to relax, and I immediately noticed that there were about 10 fly's flying in circles around her room, and she just laid there acting as if this were no big deal whatsoever, I immediately was very turned off by this, since I cannot stand fly's and will chase them down to no end until none exist in my house, I cannot tolerate fly's in my home. But to her, it was no big deal whatsoever, that did not sit well with me.
Second, she got very angry with me for putting my suitcase on the couch, I thought this was very bizarre, so I asked, where should I put it? She informed me that the floor would be ok.
Do you see a dichotomy there? She is so concerned about cleanliness of couches and my dirty suitcase, but flies are no big deal?
Looking back on it, I can see to her it was simply a matter of respect, and not cleanliness, because I can assure you this girl is anything but a clean person.
Additionally, she would take many things that I would say offensively, as if I had meant to insult her, I was constantly trying to explain myself, I thought it was simply the language barrier, but now I believe different since she still does the same thing all the time.
We got into a big fight while I was there, and she showed herself to be very selfish, thinking of herself all the time, but again I chose to look the other way, I chose to only see the good, the potential, I chose to see only what I wanted to see, not the cold hard reality.
Yes I believe I will be much wiser after all this, better able to discern next time a girl who would be right for me, and who I might be right for.
Yes there were many signs, and to a more experienced man, he would have picked up on them, I guess I just wanted to live the fantasy, I guess I just didn't want all those months of long conversations on the phone, and thousands of dollars to be wasted by a few fly's, a few bad arguments, and a little selfish behavior.
Boy life is hard, I wish I could go back to being a kid again, if only I had known how hard life would be.
But then again, I was pretty happy for awhile, and I did learn a lot from all of this, I only hope things will start to get better for me, I only hope I can pick up the pieces successfully and live to see a better day.
If I ever go over again, it will be to meet 5-10 girls, and try to get to know them first in person, not over the phone, I know the type of girl I like, and hopefully I could pick her out if I could ever find her.
I guess I can try?
So yes, I have nobody to blame but myself, next time I won't be so naïve, and maybe that is half the battle.
