... in response to RW dental needs - Costs in US? , posted by Burt on Nov 16, 2002Burt,
To me one of the values of this forum is a bunch of guys with accepted common goals fraternally jolting each other back into reality when one of us goes adrift and seems to need it. So when you ask "is this a selection factor that deserves some consideration?" I answer YES.
I think that this along with other general medical conditions is worthy of discussion as it is a matter that can quite easily bankrupt you. DOES THAT GET ANYONE'S ATTENTION? Although my feelings are based on personal experiences not relating to a particular RW or her kids, I would suggest that all of you give this matter a lot more attention than you do.
I say this knowing that it's easier said than done. (1) While we(men) are supposed to be the "logical" creatures when it comes to the differences between AM/AW's thought process', I think you can rule this out when (a) we are in the emotional love trip (b) we are in the 'rutting' mood. Then it's "F___ the practical, F___ the logic, let's just do it!"
My background includes (1) I'm now looking for a Russian bride & been there twice. (2) I'm now in the middle of extensive dental work. (3) My ex was diagnosed with a rare terminal blood disease a few years ago. (4) I had a quadruple bypass operation at the same time (young by anyone's standards). Let me tell you, all this S___ is expensive!.
Dental: Cosmetics don't seem to be as important in Russia (my Opinion). Although dental work is free they seem to have to pay extra (off the books) for quality. In the US some consumer organizations have recommended against even buying dental insurance coverage as the annual premium almost approaches the annual benefits available (which are quite low compared to other health coverages.) If you have kids involved, check out your coverages on braces. My periodontist told me last week that implants were not covered under my plan -- he ballparked three at about $9-10,000 total. This and other planned work could easily approach $50,000 in the next 10 yrs. - I've had American dental work done all my life. The obvious and cheapest alternative always is to yank the teeth and put in choppers -- do you want that for your new bride or yourself?.....
Health: My bypass was done by the best Doc on the East Coast - he's been written up in Time Magazine - his bill (for the surgery alone) was over $75,000 -- the whole procedure easily topped $100,000. My ex's only chance of survival, as diagnosed by the best hospitals in US - we went to them all -- was a bone marrow transplant - entry fee $650,000 -- add in follow up care & you're easily over $1mm - for this disease it's "experimental" - good luck on insurance coverage -- I'd have to sue to get any at all...
Do you still wonder if this is worth consideration?
I'm sure you'll get a smattering of personal stories re: your question but good luck on putting that into any kind of statistical advice because the data isn't there.
Burt, MY (it's free) advise to you:
You simply cannot over-analyze (note that this includes the word 'anal') this stuff when it comes to getting married AND you're getting older all the time. Like, how many clinical analysis' and medical questionnaires can you submit your prospective family to? What do you do in the absence of test results?... put qualification clauses in the marriage vows? Obviously, you can't wring out all the risks here. Take a quick and educated scan of the situation, ask her questions about your largest concerns, hold your breath, and say "I do." Remember, "I Do" is a better or worse thing. Almost all AW get married with this vow but in retrospect I think they are only committing to 'better' -- if it hit's 'worse' she's outa there!
Especially for you unmarried bachelors w/ no kids, check your current insurance coverages and ask a LOT of questions. You may just have a policy that's great for you but perfectly s___ty for a family...
If you get too critical on your analysis you're gonna destroy the romance of the whole thing and become a cold-blooded A--H---. If you get too sloppy on your analysis you're gonna become a very poor schmuck. THAT's the fun of it all! And so with all that concrete advice, just jump on in there and you are gauranteed to succeed (or fail)! I think I just went on a rant here so I apologize for that.
Bob