What my wife said...

[James B]

... in response to Re: I don't know, doesn't everyone have ..., posted by Wayne1 on Aug 21, 2002

I think that women are all a bit different and we all look for something a little bit different.  My fiancee stayed in my little one room barracks for 90 days total when in Iceland and she saw the military apartments on the base and was extremely excited at their size and cleanliness.  She has told me many times that if we had only one room, she would be happy, because she was together with me.  She doesn't care at this time in our relationship where and what we live in...although time could change this.  Of course she has told me that her friends who also use the agency have different values than she does.  For instance, one girl was very much in love with a man from the U.S.A., but ended up marrying a German man eight months ago who had a nice bank account and big house.  Well, the marriage is dissolving now and this woman has said that she married for the wrong reason.

I believe that if a woman told me that her precondition to marriage was that I was a homeowner, I would dump her in a second.  I would do this whether I owned a home or not, because my preference is to find a woman where our emotional, physical and spiritual needs are most important in our relationship and the other things I will provide because I want to give her all possible as her husband.  I remember telling my wife's sister that I was buying all new furniture for the housing on the base, because I don't have any since divorce a couple of years ago and she told me that furniture is not important because our love will find a way.  Well I do have the means to furnish our home nicely, but it did tell me that at least this family has different values than espoused by others.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Can't put all FSU women in the same mold, posted by James B on Aug 21, 2002

After Victoria and I had met, and we were discussing our future, I was trying to explain to her that it might be a year or so before I have my credit repaired enough to buy a house.

In the meantime, we will be renting a house.

Her reposne -- via email -- was interesting.

I don't know if this is just a mixed metaphor, or whether she was using a translator that botched her intent, but she said:

"My love, with you I would live anywhere! Even in a tent on a desert of sugar..."

Hmmm... There's an interesting mental picture...

[BrianN]

... in response to True... how's this for phraseology, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 21, 2002

of being divorced!

I said the same thing, but she doesn't want me to sell my house and move us to Florida before she gets here.... lol!

I'm getting a sense that more of us divorceeeees are as normal as ever.  All we need are women that think the same.... Normal.

Life is hell, then you live it.

:^)

[Stevo]

... in response to Re: I don't know, doesn't everyone have ..., posted by Wayne1 on Aug 21, 2002

If I didn't personally think that materialism was the main reason for RW looking west, then I probably wouldn't have bothered looking east, since my 'advantages' would be severely compromised.  Hey, this is just my take...everyone is entitled to judge RW primary motivation themselves and come to different conclusions.  Certainly lack of drunkeness, womanizing, etc. are pluses for us, just not the primary factor as far as I am concerned.

Seems to me that you should use your relative material wealth in comparison to FSU men to your advantage.

Stevo

[BrianN]

... in response to No offense taken..., posted by Stevo on Aug 21, 2002

Very good... very good...  n/t

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: What my wife said..., posted by Wayne1 on Aug 21, 2002

Remember what their vision of apartment life is. (Or many of them.) Dingey, cracked apartments with limited running water, and scheduled blackouts. Often time many family members share a bedroom. The rooms are tiny by our standards, and they are not always well insulated.

Would YOU want to live in that?

They are looking for a man who is a provider.

Yes, you want a woman who will love you no matter what -- but let's be reasonable. Part of our fantasy is finding a beautiful and traditional woman... but part of their fantasy is finding a man who will make their life better.

Stevo's wife didn't say that she wanted a mansion with a swimming pool... she just didn't want to live in a cramped apartment where four people have to share a bedroom (which is how a lot of the women there have had to live.)

She probably wanted hot water, too. Does this make her a gold digger?

I know that when I first started writing Victoria, I lived in an apartment. But it was a "luxury" apartment. I sent Victoria pictures of my daughter and I in and around the apartment, and she was amazed.

She told me later that the apartment thing was a concern to her in my first few letters, but she was more interested in finding a good man. Then, when she saw the apartment I lived in (complete with swimming pool, hot tub, and park) she wondered why I wanted to move into a house!

But when she tells me about the apartment that she lives in in Kherson, I can understand why she was hoping to live in a house when she came here...

[BrianN]

... in response to I'm not so sure, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 21, 2002

Reason why I ask is that most people in these backwards places have well adapted to their means without the thought of "joe" from the usa, and can continue to go on in the same way regardless of whether or not they got a man stateside.

Of course, Victoria doesn't want to do a repeat of the former-soviet union thing all her life, or anything like it, but it doesn't make her in-capable of dealing with it.

And thanks very much for this personal post Mark, it makes the point of what's worth having...

working for.

It's the man and the relationship with his woman that makes the difference in the long run.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to How many countries you been to?, posted by BrianN on Aug 22, 2002

I always felt California was different enough to be considered a whole different country...

Seriously... not as many as I would like... but I have seen a few.

Usually, when I go, I am sheltered from the countries poverty, though. It's like the Bahamas. You go there and stay at the Atlantis Casino, and you are surrounded by huge yachts and the richest of the rich... but if you travel one mile inland, you see poor people living in crumbling houses and huts...

But, you are right that people adjust, especially when its all they know.

When Victoria told me that their apartment had scheduled black-outs during the winter (Everyone has a time when they don't get electricity, bceause there is not enough to go around...) she wasn't describing a horror to her mind.

I can't imagine having a sick child though, coughing in bed, when the heat went out because of "scheduled" down-time.

[Apk1]

... in response to Do you count California?   ;-), posted by MarkInTx on Aug 22, 2002

Nah, you must be talking about LA...it is not a seperate country...but of another world!
LOL!

[Robert D]

... in response to Do you count California?   ;-), posted by MarkInTx on Aug 22, 2002

Some say Texas is like a another country.  (smile0

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: Do you count California?   ;-), posted by Robert D on Aug 22, 2002

Country?

Hell, Texas is a whole 'nother State of Mind

:-)

[snowwego]

... in response to I'm not so sure, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 21, 2002

my fiancee had to heat water on the stove to take a bath and then mix with what little cold water. That trickled  out of the tap. NOt mention do not drink it or wash your teeth with it. Then to use the old wash water to pour down the toilet. The girls only know a little of what it is like here and they do know that some poeple have nice homes there.  They do not understand that we have many levels in the standard of life here. Yet we all can live decent. Over there you are either have very good money or poor. basically they have no middle class

[BrianN]

... in response to Re: I'm not so sure, posted by snowwego on Aug 21, 2002

on where they're from to be able to evaluate a "middle class" standard.

[snowwego]

... in response to Re: What my wife said..., posted by Wayne1 on Aug 21, 2002

I agree