What my wife said...

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Annastassia-, posted by Oscar on Aug 23, 2002

If you look at her list, wealth isn't listed until number 5. And actually, it is not called "Wealth" on her list...

The FIRST thing on her list was religion. I'm surprised that none of you picked up on that...

I think you guys are being a little hard on her.

All she is saying is that a woman wants a man who will provide her a better life than she can have without him.

That doesn't sound like a gold-digger to me.

In fact, I think she is right.

Just as all men are "hoping" to find a drop-dead gorgeous babe... all women are hoping to find a stable man who can make all of her financial troubles go away.

That doesn't mean that a guy won't fall in love with a woman who is not as drop dead gorgeous as he first hoped, nor that a woman won't fall in love with a man who lives in a trailer and grows tomatoes...

But when you start your search, you are hoping for the best.

As for her "signature" ... she isn't bragging... she's listing her services in hopes someone might want to hire her sometime.

Yeah, it's a slight "end around" Patrick's "no advertising" mandate... but it's gentle enough... don't you think?

It's not like she's always on here pimping her services...

[Oscar]

... in response to In all fairness, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 23, 2002

Hi Mark..

I did not say she WAS a goldigger, I said some of her comments (like the one I quoted) could make her seem like one.  It obviously ruffled more than a few feathers on the board.

As for her signature, I do, along with a few others it seems, feel it is inappropriate and unecessary.  It does again come across heavy handed.. my opinion.

And for the record, I did not go to the FSU looking for a drop dead gorgeous babe.  If I would have wanted that, it is certainly not difficult to find there.  I met a lot of women there and found one that is kind, patient, loving, honest and a fantastic Mother.  She is attractive (some here saw her photos) but I do not think she is physically a 10 necessarily.. But with her inner qualities, to me, she is an 11...

So I am not saying that this Anastassia is a complete jerk or anything.  I am saying I can see where some guys would be ruffled by her style, where she comes off as a bit of a snob..

My 2 cents

[johnnydudeman]

... in response to Re: wow., posted by Anastassia on Aug 22, 2002

putting your academic credentials after your name in a bulletin board post just seems kind of pompous...its just isn't done

[James B]

... in response to it does seem...kind of pompous, posted by johnnydudeman on Aug 23, 2002

To put too much emphasis on degrees and education as a judge of intelligence and strength of character is a bit overstated.  I work every day with a bunch of officers in the Navy that can't do anything without holding their hand and walking them through even small decisions requiring simple analysis.  I am an enlisted man in the Navy with 21 years active service and have received a Master's Degree, but most of my education has come from other than my evening university work.  Yes, I can relate to people that work hard to receive their education, but not all people even struggle to obtain this.  Many do with papa's money and have only to study and nothing else.  Some do it with real sweat, tears and even work full time in the process.

I am marrying a woman that is a Doctor, but would have married her if she were a hairdresser if we were simularly matched, spiritually, emotionally, physically and intellectually.  

I do believe that any person that comes to this board should be respected for their different views on subjects, but also see that many will defend a woman who comes here much faster than a new poster who asks a poorly worded question.  Think cooperation and respect without compromise is the best way to communicate.  I have seen people post here for the first time and produce terrible sentence structure and spelling mistakes, but their message was clear.  The only response they received was correction and rebuke for poor grammer.  Of course this is the best site available for us folks who have a common thread in our lives and we all need the help and experiences that each bring to the table, but need to always keep it friendly and approachable.  We all have a sort of kinship through our experiences and few can relate to our search, except us folks who have endured the distance, the pain of waiting and the step of faith to venture into another country to search for our soulmate.  Go Navy!

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: it does seem...kind of pompous, posted by James B on Aug 23, 2002


You say: "I am marrying a woman that is a Doctor, but would have married her if she were a hairdresser..."

But that's true of men in general.

I read a survey where they asked men and women how important a woman's job was to them. Something like 5% of the men said it was important and 80% of the women did.

Who would you rather marry... a Jenifer Anniston look-a-like who is a hairdresser or a Meryl Streep look-a-like who's a doctor? (If you could somehow normalize for age...)

I think you get my point.

We can say whatever we want, but we are attracted to beauty.

Women can say whatever they want, but they are attracted to success (or security, ofr money, or however you want to put it.)

There are exceptions... but over-all it is true.

And, in my opinion, a woman who wants a man with money is certainly no less shallow than a man who wants a woman with big boobs. (Or even big lips...)

Everyone has their criteria. A woman who is honest enough to admit that she looks for security and a good income should not be flayed alive here... Especially not after all of the "Hey look at this babe!" posts that go on around here...

[greg2]

... in response to But Men and WOmen are different, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 24, 2002

If you are a guy and you are ugly all you have to do is make a lot of money and all of a sudden you do not look so bad to a woman LOL

[MarkInTx]

... in response to The good thing about that is..............., posted by greg2 on Aug 25, 2002

Everything has its extremes, I guess...

But it kind of explains Hugh Hefner, doesn't it? (And Larry Flynt, and that old geezer Anna Nicole married... and... and....)

[snowwego]

... in response to But Men and WOmen are different, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 24, 2002

I choose my woman because she told me that there is not much she does not like doing, and her looks were not a factor. I discovered when I got there she was a "babe as people Call It" I thought from her photos she was average as we would say. I had a ex-wife who was of model credentials, that was great but, To put up with her Bullship every day was to much. never wanting to do anything and when I did things for her it was never right to her liking. No matter how good it was and I had many other people tell me she was a witch. She became that after marriage. She was great before and appreciative. My point is, I rather have compatability before anything else. Beauty is only skin deep but, mean goes clear to the bone. PS what good are looks, if you can not stand to be with that person

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: But Men and WOmen are different, posted by snowwego on Aug 24, 2002


Well, I think that you are getting off track from where Anastasia started her topic.

It was not: "Who will you fall in love with" but rather "Who are you looking for at the start?"

And I must say, anyone who tells me that looks don't matter is either lying to me... or themsleves.

You honestly went to meet your woman "because she told me that there is not much she does not like doing..."? Really? Honestly? Believe me, if you just wanted a sincere woman who likes "doing things"... you couldn't find that here in America?

I know of several really nice women who would love to have a chance. Of course, they are forty pounds overweight and never wear any makeup ... that's not a problem, is it?

Listen... we need to be honest about this. Looks matter. She has to be attractive to you, or you won't give her the time of day.

And I refuse to believe that anyone travelled 7000 miles just to find someone who is "average".

If you're going to insist that you didn't care at all about looks, then you and I will just have to agree to disagree -- but I still don't believe you.

Now... would I take an attractive girl with a great personality and a match for me in every way over a drop dead gorgeous model who was vain and brain-dead? Of course!

But when I was first looking for a woman abroad, and I broswed through catalogs, I looked at the pictures ... didn't you? I will even confess that I looked at the pictures first, and THEN read the profile.

Did you just shut the images option off on your browser, and just read the profiles because looks didn't matter?

I don't believe that. I just don't.

Looks matter.

Anyone who tells you anything different is trying to sell you something...

[snowwego]

... in response to Looks and Skin Deep, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 24, 2002

I got the idea of going for a FSU women when I was skiing in switzerland, for I met the most out going and plesurable couple there he was swiss and she was russian. We ate together and skiied one day. That is when I started looking for the a compatible women and not a babe. That is the truth That is probably why I hit a nice girl on the first try and I am happy with her.

[James B]

... in response to Looks and Skin Deep, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 24, 2002

Actually I agree with much of your post.  Looks was important for me in finding my wife in Ukraine.  I must say though, I was not looking for the most gorgeous possible, because I also had a list of other criteria that when the aggregate of these things were met, I was satisfied that she was the one for me.  Of course I had to look in the mirror and make an honest determination of what I could have vs what I wanted.  I think that Anastasia(although I don't know here and have not seen her) is probably a 10 in all respects and could reasonable ask for a 10 or 9 in her search criteria.  This discussion has been great and I think it has helped people to see how much different we all are and how we all look for something a little different.

I have a friend on the military base that has asked that my fiancee help him find a woman from her hometown.  She told me that she does not like to do this, because she does not know what he wants or needs.  She says that all the women are different, with different needs.  With this, he gave me a list of physical characteristics and nothing else.  He even said that she should have red or auburn hair. My fiancee asked me why this was the most important to him, because she could just dye her hair to his preference.  You see, you are right Mark, the physical looks of a woman are extremely important for a man and a very high priority.  I must say though that my fiancee and soon to be wife could change drastically in her looks and she would always be the most beautiful woman in the world to me, because we are so close and the early criteria don't have such an importance as they did when we were searching.

[Anastassia]

... in response to Re: Looks and Skin Deep, posted by James B on Aug 24, 2002

Hi James B, though some people won't like that i post the link to my website but you and others can see our pictures, of me, my husband, my child, husband's relatives, my mom on my website.

I am not hiding. ;-)

http://www.translation.wasem.net

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Looks and skin deep, posted by Anastassia on Aug 24, 2002

I was interested in a comment you made in your post where you said:

"But we follow both ways, Lance and I were married in a Russian Orthodox Church and our Andre was christened in a Russian Orthodox Church in Seattle and he was also dedicated in our Non-denominational church here in Redmond."

Which church do you attend every Sunday? Or do you go to both churches?

How would you feel if Lance had decided that he belonged to a church, and that now you were his wife, he wanted you to belong to that church with him, and you would not go to the Russian Orthodox church any more?

And, I have one other question, if it is not too personal.

In your message, you say: "When in Moscow, Russia I didn't really go to church that often but here we go every single Sunday"

I am curious about this. You mentioned in your post that the most important thing to you about your future husband was that he was a Christian. And yet, you rarely went to church when you were in Russia, so it would seem that the church was not a large part of your life.

Now, you happily go to church every week, and consider your faith a very large part of your life.

Did you become more devout through all of this? Or did you always feel the way you do, but it was difficult to get to church in Russia? Would you say that God was always a large part of your life, even when you didn't go to church regularly, or has your faith grown since finding your husband?

I know this is very personal, so if you don't want to say here I understand. I could email you privately, if you would prefer.

I only ask because I see some similarities in my Fiance.

[Anastassia]

... in response to To Anastassia -- About Faith, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 25, 2002

We should talk about this on the phone, too much to write! And yes it is very personal, you can reach me at 425-702-1924 or please give me your phone number and i will call when i am free (translations and Andre)

[James B]

... in response to Looks and skin deep, posted by Anastassia on Aug 24, 2002

Thanks for the pictures and introduction to your business. It's too bad that there aren't opportunities to insert your business link on this page, because I think that your services would be extremely valuable to many who are going through this process.  I am sure that Brama could put you on their main page if you looked into it?

You do look like a nice couple and yes, your credentials, beauty and obviously internal happiness deserve only the best available.  Nice to see your mother also found her happiness and she too is a beautiful woman who takes good care of herself.

I am happy to see you have put faith at the top of your list as I too find this to be a very important element of my search.  My fiancee and I enjoy prayer every evening and know the importance of God's blessing and guidance in our relationship.

I will be marrying my fiancee September 21st if all goes well with with her arrival on the 12th and the little bit of paperwork we need to finish after arrival.  Of course these last days of waiting feel like an eternity, but we have waited for two years and can endure.