A bad feeling brewing on the horizon.......

[Mark H]

posting two days in a row.....hmmmmmm.

Greg123, my old friend. How the heck are you? How is your boy? I hope everything is okay, I know how teens can be. Now that you cleared up the handle issue, I know exactly who you are. It's been a long time and you are definitely one of the 3 year + posters as am I.

Back to the storm on the horizon. Tonight was a special night. I met the 12 year old daughter of the girl I am dating. I grilled T-bones, had shrimp with cocktail sauce, a wonderful salad, imported cheeses and a Sonoma county '97 Merlot that was to die for (I have quite a wine collection by the way). She was a cute little girl, very nice and well mannered. From the get go, things were fine. She had requested that I rent "Joy Ride" from blockbuster and I did. She had been wanting to see it. Dinner as great, the wine lived up to it's calling, everything was nice. We then headed to the living room to watch the movie on my new 61" mammoth of a tv. She loved it, quite suspenseful and riveting. Mom liked it too. I must say that I've learned alot in the last few weeks dating this girl.

Yes, she is wanting to pick out my wallpaper and my furniture. That's all fine and dandy. However, there is one undying, never ending theme to our relationship that is starting to place a strain on me. I FEEL LIKE I AM CONSTANTLY CHASING HER. That's right, chasing. For the life of me, I sit and wonder why I was ever chasing FSU women. I sat and pondered the differences of AW and RW. They're both beautiful (at least my AW women are, it's a givent he RW are beautiful), both exciting, feminine, and desirable. However, the difference is that the FSu woman is appreciative. I spent $100 bucks tonight to buy steaks, shrimp, roses, and condiments for this dinner. I had one kiss tonight. One. I think that is pretty lame. Of course we needed to take things slowly with the daughter around but to be honest....we are always taking things slowly.

I'm tired of chasing this chick and I'm done. She's taken my devotion and admiration for granted, I can see that. I don't think she intends to be mean but it just seems to be the norm. I treat her well, she treats me different than a guy who would not be so nice. Hmmmm.

Jack, you're wiser than YOU even know. I think I'm back in the hunt. I'll continue to see this girl but I'm not happy. She's beautiful, she's nice, but she's distant.

Of course, during the meal her and her daughter talked incessantly about her ex-husband.   NEED I SAY MORE?

Back in the hunt,
Mark H.

[Wayne1]

... in response to A bad feeling brewing on the horizon......., posted by Mark H on Jul 10, 2002

Holy crap Mark?

You are one patient man.

The date would have been over as soon as the ex-husband was brought up in the conversation.

I'm sorry...I don't care.  I would have sent them both packing mid dinner.

Then my best friend and I would have enjoyed a wonderful evening alone in front of the TV. (My dog)

Wayne

[wsbill]

... in response to A bad feeling brewing on the horizon......., posted by Mark H on Jul 10, 2002

She's seen what your made out of.  Your a wealthy guy and you put on a great show for her.  She's seen  your castle and she's probably got in her mind that your a lonely guy with a lot of money.  (Why else would a single guy have a 61" TV).

What you have going for you when you go to Ukraine/Russia is the mere fact the lady can't see how much money your worth.  No fancy car in the drive way, if your wise you won't take wear alot expensive clothes ~ making yourself look rich.

What are you looking for in a woman?  Are you looking for true love or just some pretty thing to have dangling off of your arm?  My guess is it's the real love your looking for.

Jack - what must a man do to convey this message to the idea russian woman without being taking a ride to the cleaners ?

1. Would you take your potential rus/ukr mate to a really expensive resturant or would pizza do ?

I have no idea what Jack would recommend.  (course my guess on the first couple dates you'd be a cheap date first, and then if there is some solid affection you'd move up to the pricer places...but only if you sense.  True affection, were not talking sex here, but love and bonding admiration.)

--Why are you always chasing the women.  How many profiles have you read where the woman like psychology...chances are she knows about how to attract the man and then reel him in.
-Well this might be how you can reel them in instead.

You can make this a fun game or you can make it a chore.

Great to know you have a fancy win collection, only an american woman would probably care about that.  That on the other hand might worry a rus/ukr girl.

[wsbill]

... in response to Re: I can already see the problem..., posted by wsbill on Jul 11, 2002

Tell her you've got a beer can collection.  The scammer knows she'll never see your apartment, where as the nice girl will shutter and probably bolt.

Of course, tell your interpreter before hand, that you really don't have a beer can collection.  So, when your trying to get the nice girl to calm down or come back you won't have to do alot of translating.

[Mark H]

... in response to Re:  How to tell if you've got a nice gi..., posted by wsbill on Jul 11, 2002

you're still a dipshiiiiiit.

Mark H.

[JohnL]

... in response to A bad feeling brewing on the horizon......., posted by Mark H on Jul 10, 2002

don't try to push the boulder uphill, let alone have to struggle through the stuff hidden underneath it !

[Mark H]

... in response to Hey "Arnie", I thought you sai..., posted by JohnL on Jul 11, 2002

Thanks John, we all need some reminding.!

Mark H.

[Patrick]

... in response to A bad feeling brewing on the horizon......., posted by Mark H on Jul 10, 2002

Ya shoulda pulled out a '96 J Lohr cabernet.  That'd be worth at least two kisses, maybe even some tongue.  Heck, maybe even the mother would of kissed you then.

It's time to pour out that whimpy wine and start drinking vodka with the real men.

[Mark H]

... in response to You're wearing sun screen in front of th..., posted by Patrick on Jul 11, 2002

Patrick,
I've had Seven Oaks and will emphatically agree with you on your choice, very nice. As for drinking the Vodka with the boys...never stopped, just put it on the back shelf.

Mark H.

[yoe]

... in response to A bad feeling brewing on the horizon......., posted by Mark H on Jul 10, 2002

I really like KenC's response.
second-I understand Mark.
But most importantly, 3rd-What I have found so remarkably different in my wife-and I have said it before- is level of commitment. You must understand that I am not the easiest guy in the world to get along with-let alone live with. Now I remember all of the AW had no level of commitment when the sh!t hit the fan. They were nervous, vindictive and very unpleasant. My wife also gets very unpleasant when Joe pulls a Joeim, but she IS NOT and I repeat IS NOT going to bolt. She may not like it, she may want to sink a blade into my spinal column, but she has not for one minute threatened me-with abandonment.  (she has threatened with the blade)
Joe

[thesearch]

... in response to For one,, posted by yoe on Jul 11, 2002

My advice without any real knowledge of the dynamics of the situation with you and your wife is..............

well don't take advantage of her nature, no wrong words, don't take it for granted (her nature) -----consider that her nature will give you more time to improve Yoe so that Joeim's become less frequent so that she is not thinking of the blade as often.

That is the wonderful thing about relationships - they provide a mirror for us to allow us to see ourselves and grow. Sometimes we take the opportunity and sometimes we do not.

In my younger years I did not understand such really and did not use relationships to promote my own self growth as I should have. I was just stupid. I was more into staying the same and justifying my position.

Now MarkInTx might think that I am still in that space but what ever level of where I might still be there, I have learned from the past and I am a heck of a lot better, but admit that there is always room for more improvement.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: For more, posted by thesearch on Jul 11, 2002


I think when the battle lines get drawn, people tend to get stuck, not wanting to give an inch.

Ever take an Argumenttation and Debate class?

Did you teacher do what ours did?

We were on the "pro" Status Quo side. We prepared for three weeks for the debate.

The morning of the debate, the teacher said: "OK, now, switch sides and give your debate!"

A VERY interesting experience. Funny thing was, the debate was still a good one...

[Wayne1]

... in response to Re: For more, posted by thesearch on Jul 11, 2002

I agree on the justifying the position remark.  I spent way too much time in the past being stubborn and of course always right.  What a freaking bore.

It's not always important anymore to be right.  Sometimes my wife says things that I know are total BS.  Like she is convinced that white bread is bad for the stomach.  In the past I would have called her on it, but now I just smile and keep my mouth shut.

I've said this before, but I'm going to use the analogy once again.

A new wife or relationship is a little like a brand new Porsche.  Every time you mouth off, lose control and say something unkind, it is like taking a bat and dinging your new car.  You can take it in for repairs, but the car is never the same.  Women are the same way, they forgive, but a little of the respect is gone.

I would never take a bat out and ding my new Porsche, and I love my wife way more then my car...

Just my 2 pesos.
Wayne

[Wayne1]

... in response to For one,, posted by yoe on Jul 11, 2002

Joe,

Your post rang a loud bell in my head.  Sounds a little like my life in the past.

I have not been easy to get along with in the past at times either.  During times of stress, I too was not much fun to be around.

In my opinion, it is much better to not test your Russian wife's level of committment.  

It's way better to learn to control the temper, close the mouth, and always be kind.  It's a tough goal to aspire to, but it can be done.

I tested my RWs level of committment a few too many times during my marriage with her....

She had unlimited patience and love...well that is what I thought anyway.

Now I never forget one question.  Could I live with myself ?

Wayne

[thesearch]

... in response to Re: For one,, posted by Wayne1 on Jul 11, 2002

Wayne,

We once talked on the phone.  I still appreciate you taking the time to share with me your personal experience.  Your experience with your FSU wife certainly can be of help to others but I was curious, why do you still participate here now that you are married to a Latin lady? So not misconstrue that as any objection as there is none. Your experience is valid and the more that share real experiences the better.

How long you been married to her and what age difference did you go with this time?

Thanks,

Greg