Chapter 13: Day Six – In Which the Rains Come
The next morning, after our normal “Morning Exercises” (aside: I am not, by the way, a morning person. Period. Victoria is doing her best to turn me into one, however, and I must say that I appreciate her methods…) we spend some time talking, and looking through the dictionaries.
It seems that the night before, at dinner, there were a lot of words I didn’t have in my little 44,000 word Franklin. I try to remember them, and look them up now. This desire of mine to get the exact word seems to amuse Victoria. She seems to be content to know concepts, whereas I try to be very precise.
While I am looking around in her dictionary, it springs to mind a word that I had discovered missing from my Franklin, so I go to look it up… Only it’s not in her dictionary, either. I am puzzled and she asks me what is wrong.
I type the word on my laptop. “This is not in your dictionary,” I say.
She starts laughing, and flips to the front of the dictionary, and points to the date. “Was published by Soviets,” she said. “There was none of that during this time.” The word was, of course: orgasm.
She flips to the back. “And there is no word for sex, either,” she points out. “People had babies, of course. But no sex!”
We laugh for a moment, and then I ask her: “Well, what is the Russian word for orgasm?”
She laughs. “Orgasm,” she says. “It is international word. Same as sex. These are America’s contribution to our language.”
Nice to know we contributed somewhere…
It’s still pouring down rain, so we stay in bed for a long time, and talk. It is amazing how much we can communicate by now. Not always through spoken language. But with paper and pen, and some common words, and a little patience, we can discuss almost anything.
I tell her about Texas, and my work. She tells me more about her marriage, and her parents.
I also broach the subject of her working. She makes the equivalent of $55 a month. Let me put that in perspective: my daughter has a $40 a month allowance. (Yeah, I know that is an incredible amount… but A) she is an only child, and B) now I never buy her any toys except for Christmas and her Birthday. So, by budgeting $40 a month I saved myself hundreds in nickel-and-diming…)
I take a deep breath and I tell her that I want her to quit.
It is a word that she doesn’t know. And, it is a word not in my Franklin. Who would have believed??? It takes a long time to find the words that convey the meaning. It is interesting that there does seem to be no direct translation for the word: quit in their language. Hmmm… that is a good sign…
I explain that she has become my fiancée And that the way I view things, we are not two separate families any more just waiting for the day we will become one… we are one family who has been unfortunately separated, and we are just waiting to be reunited.
So, I am not going to provide for her and care for her “Some Day”, it has already started.
So, I must do what is best for the whole family. And so must she. I impress upon her that her only job will be to learn English. And Stas, also. They need to dedicate themselves to spending the next few months learning the language of their new home.
She understands. At first what I was suggesting stunned her. But as I explain, she begins to nod. She understands.
We talk about English lessons, and how they both have to go three times a week. (My idea.) And I ask her if she has any books. She doesn’t, and so I decide that we have to get her the books and manuals that she and Stas need.
I will provide you with everything you need, I tell her. But you must do the work.
She is overwhelmed, and promises to study English hard through her tears of joy.
I hold her, and we both spend time in our thoughts.
It was time very well spent.
Then she asks me to sing the rain song for her again.
That is actually a Paul Simon song called, “Kathy’s Song.” It starts: “I hear the drizzle of the rain…”
Actually, it is a very appropriate song for the whole process, and if my readers will permit me… here are a few verses:
“I hear the drizzle of the rain
Like a memory it falls
Soft and warm continuing_
Tapping on my roof and walls
And from the shelter of my mind
Through the window of my eyes
I gaze beyond the rain drenched streets
To a place where my heart lies
My mind's distracted and diffused
My thoughts are many miles away
They lie with you when you're asleep
And kiss you when you start your day”
He actually wrote it for someone who lived in London, so much of the melancholy “missing you through distance” comes through very well.
I sing a few songs for her, and then I have an idea… It occurs to me that I can send her a CD with my songs on it. I can make it with my computer. I discuss this with her.
She likes the idea, of course, but there is a problem: She doesn’t own a CD player. I let the subject drop, because I am thinking about how I need to buy her a CD player, and I don’t want to suddenly seem like Santa Clause (I know… too late for that!) so I know I have to put this just right.
So, I tell her that I have been thinking about the time we must spend apart. (This is a very bad subject. We have already discussed how it will probably be six months before she can come to be with me. So far, every time this subject has come up, we have given it a wide berth and tried to avoid it…)
I have her attention now, and I can see some tears form at the mere mention of it.
“I want to leave you with things to remember me with, so the wait will not be as long…”
A tear starts to trickle down her cheek, and she nods, listening…
“I will leave you with something for each of your senses.”
This requires a trip to the dictionaries to explain, but she gets it, and I continue...
“For touch: you have your ring… for sight: I will send you pictures of our time together… for smell: I will buy you perfume… and for Hearing: I will buy you a CD player so you can enjoy our special music.”
She is so caught up in the emotion of the moment that she agrees.
So, it is settled… First lunch, then we go CD and perfume shopping.
For lunch, we go to McDonald’s. (If you go to my website, and look at the picture of Independence square, you will see the arrow which shows the building where our apartment was. Go over two buildings to the right and you will see the Golden Arches if you look carefully.) I do this because she has never been to McDonalds, and I know it will be quick.
McDonald’s, by the way, is packed. It is a big hit in Ukraine. And, incredibly, it is much cheaper there than here. Except… they charge you for ketchup. I found that very odd. And because it was such a luxury, Victoria wouldn’t use any on her French fries.
The funniest sight was when we were all finished. Victoria kept wiping her hands, and then rubbing her fingers together, and then wiping them some more. You never realize how greasy the food we eat is until you see someone come to grips with the grease for the first time…
But, it was quick…right?
Well, it isn’t as quick as I thought. Because McDonald’s affects me the way it usually does, and we have to return home to our apartment for me to go to the bathroom.
Later, I come out and Victoria is on the bed watching me. I tell her that I usually don’t eat at McDonald’s because it makes me -- And I type the word into Franklin, and low and behold it is there – Nauseous.
Victoria starts laughing. And I mean, she really thought this was funny. It takes her some time to regain control. And then she excuses herself… and she goes to the bathroom for awhile.
Afterwards, we both decide that even when they come to America, we’re never going to McDonald’s again…
Off we go shopping. First we find her some work-books and cassette tapes for English. She is delighted, because it is “American English.” (I am also delighted, for the bookstore has regular English language books. She has to drag me out of there, and when we are finished, I’ve bought more books than she has…)
Now we head to the electronics store.
I can tell this is a place that she has never been before. And the prices are pretty much what you would expect them to be in America, if not a little bit more. Which is to say that they seem outrageously expensive to her.
I don’t have enough money exchanged, so I ask her to find out if they take a Visa card.
By the way… Visa is a very unfortunately named product when you are traveling overseas! I can’t tell you how many times asking that simple question: “Do you accept Visa?” caused great confusion as they wee trying to figure out why I wanted to show them my passport and Ukrainian Visa!
They did not, so we went next door to the money changers.
Another comment about money changers: They are everywhere! And they all post their rates, and the rates vary, so it is worth doing some comparison shopping usually. But it was incredible how many money changers there were.
I asked Victoria about this, and she said that Ukrainian people will change their Hrvinas into US Dollars, because it is more stable, and usually they end up making a little money in the end. So, bear that in mind. I saw guys cash in hundreds and hundreds of dollars at one time. Bad idea. Cash in as much as you need. For one thing, it goes a lot farther than you think it will. Also, the market may move in your favor before the next time you need cash…
OK... back to shopping.
Armed with enough local cash, we go back into the shop. Now I am not trying to be completely crazy. I walk past the stereos that cost $300 (US). I find a nice small stereo system that costs about $75 (US). Victoria sees the price and starts to talk me out of it. Only, by now she knows better than to appeal to my sense of currency, so she says: “Please, do not buy this. How will I carry that on the train?”
“Well, it will come in a box,” I say.
She shakes her head. “But I have three bags now. I don’t even know if they will permit me to take it.”
I doubt that highly, but as I go to answer, something else catches my eye.
“You are quite right,” I tell her. “This is too big. We cannot expect you to carry something like this.”
She looks relieved. Until she seems me walk over to the “walkman” CD players.
“This is much better,” I say. I point to a slim Panasonic model that costs $65 (US) “Tell them that we will take this one.”
She sees that I have outflanked her. This is small enough to slip in her purse.
“It is so much money!” she says, and now the real reason comes out.
I look her in the eye. “It is important to me,” I tell her. “To leave you with songs. So tell the man that we will take it.”
She nods, numbly, and we buy the CD player.
As we are walking out of the store with the CD player, and she is holding my arm, she leans in close to whisper to me. I am expecting sweet words of endearment, and instead I hear her say:
“If you buy me perfume now… I will kill you…”
We didn’t buy perfume.
Oh... and we also took the Metro home. You have to pick your battles…
One more aside: (I can't remember if I mentioned this before...) Whenever we go out, Victoria doesn't hold my hand, she takes my arm. That takes some getting used to!
The last time I had someone take my arm, it was a gray haired aunt at my brother's wedding who thought that Mark looked handsome dressed up in a tuxedo!
But this is a very common practice. I saw a lot of men and women, arm and arm. Sometimes I would put my arm around her, but not very much. And when I did, she did not reciprocate (except maybe to give me a quick hug.)
Every now and then, we would hold hands. But, by far and away, when we went out, she would take my arm, and off we'd go. After I got used to it, I kinda liked it...
That evening, as she gets ready for dinner, she is wearing the headset and CD player. I can see her dancing her way along. Every time she catches me looking at me she smiles at me and points to the headset.
We went to Caesar’s that evening. It is an Italian restaurant that has a medieval theme. It is actually quite nice and the food was excellent. (The bill was about $40 US) We were in a room that had a Ukrainian “lounge singer” if you can believe it. He was actually pretty good, and interestingly enough, almost all of his songs are in French.
It is quite romantic for us. But I felt bad for him, because we were the only two in the whole room. Because of that, we got some special attention, and Victoria got to request her favorite song which is called, I think, “Moscow Nights.”
He had a CD that he sold. I was going to buy it for her until I found out it cost $20 (US). Victoria gave me a warning look, and I had to agree with her this time. He was pretty good, but paying more for his CD than I paid for my Shakira CD just seemed wrong somehow.
I left him a healthy tip, and we returned home.
When we got home, I told her that I had a surprise for her. I blindfolded her, and slipped the headset over her head, and then let Celtic music take her away as I made very slow love to her.
Much later… as she was snuggling up against me for the night, she says: “You were right about the CD. Thank you so very much.”
“I am right about most things,” I tell her.
She looks at me, and intones in a dead-pan: “Yes, my husband.” And we both have a good laugh.
But I was right about the CD…
