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Author Topic: Be careful what you wish for. - 8  (Read 9161 times)
chuck12
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« Reply #15 on: May 31, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Be careful what you wish for. - 8, posted by Jack on May 31, 2002

Jack, at least Brian won't have your dilema of having to choose between two beauties and then wondering if he did select the right one! Smiley Of course it makes more sense to meet many RW's (or as many prospective women for marriage) as possible so you can at least make some comparisons and have a point of reference (so to speak) when one really stands out. However, juggling a number of RW's and trying to spend quality time to each of them is not the easiest task, unless your just out for a good time. How many women do you really need to meet before you don't ask yourself the question is she really the one? Six, twelve, twenty, thirty? Numbers are very subjective.

As to RW's feelings or displays of affection in public, yes many are hesitant or reluctant to express feelings in public. The very fact that Lena was extremely open and showed her affections in public (which goes against the grain) tells me she really digs Brian. Its one thing to profess your love/feelings but if you can't show them in public (regardless of the culture/heritage) then that would be a big red flag for me. I remember asking Arina about this and she said something to the effect of, if a couple really like each other, what does it matter they show it in public?

Lastly, I think you need to read a little deeper into Brian's letters from Lena and not put her in the same context as you would an AW. If Lena were an AW, yes I would be concerned or suspect if we just met (though corresponded for a length of time) and she told me I was the only one for her. However, RW's are very different the AW (as I'm sure you are well aware of the differences) and they can become very attached emotionally even more so then AM when corresponding with someone they feel connected too. Brian had mentioned she had good control of her feelings, but this is what she would only show on the outside, on the inside she was probably bursting. Meeting Brian was probably more or less confirmation for her he was the guy, she probably had her mind made up to a large degree before he stepped off the plane. As the proverb goes, Don't look a gift horse in the mouth...Brian, good luck to you, and listen to your heart and not too much to this board... Smiley)

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BrianN
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« Reply #16 on: May 31, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Be careful what you wish for  [for Jack ..., posted by chuck12 on May 31, 2002

Ahhh... now don't give Jack so much flak about it, I always gave him the space to criticise me because he didn't know everything, (not his fault).  

He's actually quite correct based on some really shty bad foreign marriages that I've seen for the last 20 years.... (quite a few in the asian community).  Some guys make all of their decisions based on some whacky idea that just because he gets some attention from one hot woman that "this this just has to be the one", and can't let go of the idea.  They'd rather drive headlong into a brick wall than give up "this one", no matter what flags are flying.  Then there's one more troll in the world a few years later.

Back again to the old saying - better off finding a woman you hate and give her your house.

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BrianN
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« Reply #17 on: May 31, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Be careful what you wish for  [for Jack ..., posted by chuck12 on May 31, 2002

In one of the only two times I drank there, I spent the evening chewing the fat with her brother Igor.  

I told him... you know?  I was writing and talking to Lena for months on end, and I thought she was just a very conservative girl that....

Igor busted his gut laughing his asz off, yelled "conservative?"  "Lena?"  He gave me a high five across the table and said man you got da best woman around here.  

Earlier that day as I was getting "initiated" into Igors gruelling sauna, Lena comes in with my camera and tries to take a picture of me sprawled out with no clothes... yak!  Good thing the lens fogged up immediately.  Since that didn't work, she decided to wait until I got out of the sauna and here she comes snapping pictures of me.  Jeez man! wow!  This family is NOT bashful, and Lena has told me that this was the only time in her entire life where she smiled and enjoyed her self for such a long time.  

I'm quite flattered.

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MarkInTx
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« Reply #18 on: June 03, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to well said., posted by BrianN on May 31, 2002


Now see... you missed a great chance here...

You SHOULD have said:

"Earlier that day as I was getting "initiated" into Igors gruelling sauna, Lena comes in with my camera and tries to take a picture of me sprawled out with no clothes... Good thing she forgot to put the wide-angled lens on... She decided to wait until she could get a picture of all of me "

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KenC
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« Reply #19 on: May 31, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Be careful what you wish for. - 8, posted by BrianN on May 31, 2002

Brian,
Great job in telling of such an emotional time in your relationship.  You brought back a flood of memories for me.  Your thoughts about it all being a dream was the same for me at the time I first met my wife, Lena.  At the time I was hit with the thought of how could such a great woman be so crazy for me?  After almost 4 years, I still have to pinch myself sometimes.  Best of luck to you and Elena.
KenC
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