trip report

[KenC]

... in response to Re:  I like what Oatmeal did before he l..., posted by wsbill on May 9, 2002

Bill,
Being a sailor maybe you can answer this for me: Don't dead bodies "float to the surface"?  LOL  I may have found your problem.  LOL.
KenC

[BrianN]

... in response to Re:  I like what Oatmeal did before he l..., posted by wsbill on May 9, 2002

He looks like my mortgage rep... a navy seal monster dude..

and totally opposite of his name.  A more realistic handle for oatmeal woulda been killer.  His lady's name should be killeress... lol, if I had it to do all over again...

[wsbill]

... in response to trip report, posted by Ramblin on May 8, 2002

Go buy yourself a MAP of the city and act LOST !!!

Better yet, if you brought a Map from your city in the states.  Just tell them you took a wrong turn.  If that don't get them laugh, move on to the next one.

There are plenty of fish in the ocean, ya just gotta have the right bait for find a really good one, who in most regards isn't looking for a American man.

Go to Markets.

Take lots of pictures... City the city!

[Ramblin]

... in response to Re: Do yourself a FAVOR...., posted by wsbill on May 9, 2002

I can think of plenty of approaches like that myself but there is just one problem, no one here speaks English, like I said, I even asked three ladies to dance and asked them in Russian and English and this time it has not worked.  If they spoke a little English it would be easier.

[wsbill]

... in response to Re: Re: Do yourself a FAVOR...., posted by Ramblin on May 9, 2002

Have you check out the agencies in that town.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: Do yourself a FAVOR...., posted by wsbill on May 9, 2002


Just curious...

Have you ever actually done the things you are suggesting?

Or have you bought a book: "How to pick up women in the FSU" or something...?

[wsbill]

... in response to Just Curious, posted by MarkInTx on May 9, 2002

Or do you want to find a honest agency?

Of course, don't ask for help in the ghetto.  But I would think on a busy street corner in the business district, farmers market (go to pretty flowers, as that's usually where the younger girls are at).

I thought these women were motherly minded... What mother hen wouldn't take care of their little chicken.  They find out your a single american man....the rest is history.

Let me put it this way, me and another guy took two young ladies to see some windmills in Kiev, at the end of the day we had to part ways.  We had no clue where we were...

So our dates stayed with us and got us off the Metro at our station.  We were two lost dudes!!

Ahh...  Use common sense when you doing this.

Rostick, even said if you just approach a women and gave her a flower and told her how beautiful she was, this might get something going.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: Dude, you want to meet sincere women..., posted by wsbill on May 9, 2002

You've never actually gone up to a stranger in Kiev and asked her out..

... never did the "pull out a map of the USA and pretend to be lost trick..."

... Never went into a laundramat and asked the women to help you because the beautiful woman you came to see stood you up.

You've never done any of this stuff... but you advise Ramblin -- who is, it should be pointed out THERE -- to do all of this stuff...

And he should listen to your advice... why?

[wsbill]

... in response to So... in other words... no, posted by MarkInTx on May 9, 2002

It's worth a shot in the dark.  

Spend 1/2 day asking pretty girls for help.

Oh... I forgot, your the guy that also went to see one woman also.  LOL.

If you guys think all these girls are lining up at agencies to meet guys for just marriage.  You've got another thing coming.  It's like they say, if you can't get attention by american women, what makes you think the russian/ukr will be drawn to you as well.

You've got to make these girls smile and laugh.  Maybe standing on a corner and asking for direction is a silly idea.  But it's a helluva lot cheaper and funner than meeting women at the disco, socials and at the agency offices.

This approach might not be for everyone.  But ya gotta try something to get their attention.  Otherwise, you can go to the beach and look at the girls go by.  Hey, I can go to an American beach and do that.

Think of it this way... The first words out of your mouth would be.  

"do you speak english"?  You do! that's great.. "I am here on business and I have some free time and wanted to be a tourist for today".  "My you have a very pretty smile".  What's your name?  "You speak english very well..

Say, what are you doing today?  (oh, that's too bad, your have to go to work.. Hey well, maybe I could treat you to lunch, tomorrow if you'd like).
---
Just like here in the states...you gotta do the BS footwork.
Just because we talk a different language doesn't mean we're all that different.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: Why not...., posted by wsbill on May 9, 2002

I've never met a woman who was listed at an Agency.

Ever.

But.. then again... you are right...

I've never met a woman in the streets, either...

What do I know?

[wsbill]

... in response to Re: Do yourself a FAVOR...., posted by wsbill on May 9, 2002

I have heard that the suburbs are a great place to look.

Who was telling me this...

About your clothes, do what most REAL MEN, do.

Take it to the cleaners and have them fix you up...Check out the ladies at the laundry/cleaners.  Can't hurt.

Desperate measures...  Download & print out photo of girl off the internet, go to hair salon, where there are pretty girls working.  And act like you have just come from America to meet this lady that you printed out... Make it sound like she said she worked at that salon as a hairdresser.

When they say they've never seen anyone like her, tell them you are new to the city and your trip is not going well, because she was going to be your guide and you thought she was going to be your wife.

If they're single and interested they'll be more than happy to step in her shoes.

Or...  contact a agency for handholding.  yawn.

Their out there.

[thesearch]

... in response to trip report, posted by Ramblin on May 8, 2002

When we are dealing with a depressed country where hope of life being better in one's lifetime is not there people can resort to actions that normally would not be their nature. Would this lady have been this way if things were different relative to her country's prosperity - very possibly.

On the other hand the FSU has an abundance of lovely ladies we are told and some of us have experienced this such as myself. Also, we as American suitors for example bring with our package a potential new home that offers hope for a better future for a woman but more importantly for a woman's children. This makes us very attractive. This has all been said before.

Here we have however, a story of intentional deceit at hand regardless of reason. Some women will be much more convincing than others and men matching themselves with a woman that significantly exceeds what he could attract in the USA or where ever he lives, is vulnerable to being caught up in the experience of being with "that beautiful lady". Thus potentially this male is potentially more vulnerable to not seeing that he is being used. The less perceptive men or the ones matching up with a more cleaver liar end up at those others boards like RWnomore.  

Is the risk worth it? Obviously for those that go, they say yes.

Now I have had my share of scammers to deal with. At first it was more because I was looking at women too young. But even now that I have been more reasonable and have looked more at older women, the problem still exists.

I had decided to rest on all of this until I got some work issues taken care of and stopped writing to the last group of ladies that I had initiated correspondence with. One particular lady in her late 30's kept writing. She told me that she had received letters from many many men and that of all the men writing, she was most interested in me. Now, that to me is a potential red flag. I just put it in the back of my head. What are the chances that I would be her first choice anyway? Yes it is possible.

She is not affiliated with an agency, has broken English and uses a computer translator. No charges for e-mail as she uses her friends computer she says but there is a bit of effort to get to it and thus writing to me once per week is about all that is what she can do she informs me of. She never asks for money but pressures me to know when I will be coming to see her.

Well International Woman's Day goes by and I did not nothing - then it is her daughter's birthday. I decide to send her money so that she can buy a gift for her daughter. I let her know about this and ask if she knows where Western Union is in her town. Now, some very interesting things start to happen.

She ignores my question about Western Union and provides for me routing numbers etc. so that I can transfer funds directly to her bank account. I tell her I am not going to do this and tell her that I will use Western Union. She tells me that I need to give her a special code to pick up her money. I tell her she does not need this.

Well I am thinking that she has all of this movement of money down pat. What does that mean? It may mean nothing or is this because she does this a lot with other men? Well, during this time of figuring out where the money is going to go and how, she is virtually writing to me every day whereas before she said that she would not be able to do this.

Now that she has the funds, her letters have dropped off to nothing. It has been about ten days since my last e-mail with no response. Now all of this to me is one possible red flag on top of another. We are told to not send money but in this case, I was curious as to what would happen when money was put into the equation.

With each additional piece of information relative to behavior the more one can come to some form of reasonable conclusion. I am not writing her off as a scammer but, I can tell you that my desire to meet her has dropped. We have talked on the phone a few times without a translator. She made it clear that she wants to marry an American or European man as she wants a better life.

I am not going to write to her until I  get something from her plain and simple. I can tell you that when I go to the FSU I will not make a trip just to see her and when I do see her, I will be keeping my eyes open for other signs that might suggest that she has an agenda for which my role is facilitator. I do not come to any conclusion about her. Conclusions can only be arrived at with more data. I will either like what I see with what the future brings or I will not plain and simple.

One of the problems is that guys will get emotionally involved with a lady that they have never met. When you do this, you do not become objective. To me, this lady is a woman that I have never met, she might be someone that would be good for me but I simply do not know. As long as one keeps things objective, one can see reality better. There is a time for romance and trust, it is not know. For this lady it is about finding out who she is and realizing that every action tells me more about her.  

[tim360z]

... in response to The double edged sword - (Comment for Ne..., posted by thesearch on May 8, 2002

aaahhh...in this virtual little world its so tempting to spend some money on the FSU girl you have been writing to...or maybe a couple dozen flowers or jewelry or whatever.  Perfumes???  DON'T.  This girl you are writing to is definitely NOT,  "your lady" as the quasi-industry likes to term it.  You have never even met in person.  Its nuts and by sending money you keep the scams coming.  Heck,  a clever (not a criminal,  just clever ) girl can have 20 guys sending her money on her birthday or womans day or whatever holiday you got going on.  For her,  it is effortless.  She doesn't even have to ask.  She just mentions that next month is to be her birthday and her Mother is planning a party---next thing you know 10 guys are going to western union and 10 more are sending flowers,  chocolates and stuffed animals.  Crazy.

I think that if you get to know someone in letters and telephone calls and they are that interesting...you just have to go meet them---don't send 'em money.  Unless throwing money out the window is your normal modus operandi.  Also,  when you go to meet this one girl---have a back-up plan,  things may be quite different than you imagine.  IMHO

[thesearch]

... in response to Re: The double edged sword - (Comment fo..., posted by tim360z on May 9, 2002

sd

[CornellGuy]

... in response to Re: The double edged sword - (Comment fo..., posted by tim360z on May 9, 2002

Let's say for the last 2 months you were writing a girl you thought was serious and nice, and who never asked or hinted you for money.  She agreed to meet you far from her home; say she lived in Novosibirsk and you agreed to meet her in SPB.  Would you offer to send her money to buy a train or air ticket?