My Fiancee's 45 Day Visit

[James B]

(Long) My Fiancee recently visited me for 45 days.  I am in the U.S. Navy, living in Iceland and it's possible to get her a Shengen Visa to come here, unlike the U.S.A.

Well, she arrived on 28 December after taking her first flight ever. I have been to see her three times before in her town of Sumy.  She did well and made it safely.  After arriving and an extended embrace, we went to my small military apartment.  I live on a small base and the community is very tight.  She immediately met all my friends and they were extremely warm.  I know that this situation is the best possible for her to make adjustments to culture.  We visited the base Commissary to shop for food and she was amazed at the selection of food(she will be astounded when she sees a superKmart).  I know she is quite economical so I showed her the coupon system in our our store where volunteers post coupons all over the shelves.  Well she was hooked.  Back from the store with groceries and many plastic bags, we put everything away and then the bags were all gathered up and stashed like her prize jewels.  I told her it wasn't necessary, but it was no use, they were everywhere by the time she left and I threw away at least fifty of them.  We went to see fireworks in Reykjavik, the capital city and they were awesome.  It was all so new to her and like a dream.  We took a trip up north and stayed in a nice wooden cabin and saw the most beautiful mountains in the world.  A great romantic getaway, equipped with a hot tub and backdrop of snowcapped mountains and a wide river along the cabin.  She is a very emotional and deep feeling woman.  She is certainly the traditional Russian woman that many have posted about here.  Many times we went to look at furniture and things for our home.  She told me often that all of these things are secondary and cannot be associated with happiness.  It's such a different mindset from what I was used to in my previous marriage.  Simple things have so much meaning to her and there is no reason for me to try and impress her with the things that money can buy.  Every day that we left the apartment, she spend much time adorning herself in her best clothes and looking her very best.  She often commented on the women she saw as not caring about their appearance and couldn't understand it.  As many of you know, this is the norm for many of the woman over there.  When she was with my colleagues or other people in public, she was always very careful with her words, but very warm can caring.  We toured many many places in Iceland, but our favorite place was always our return home to each other.  I have never felt so needed and desired by anyone in my life.  From the very beginning we wrote almost everyday and now it's everyday with a short call in the evening.  My first letter I wrote to her about a year and a half ago was extremely long and very detailed about my life and what I was looking for.  It was the very thing that attracted her.  She felt that I was truly interested in her, because I gave so much to her at the very beginning.  It's been beautiful for us and we have become so close over the months.  I have needed to learn to live with two things though that are new to me.  A woman who is very emotional.  They need to be handled with care, but can give so much and love deeply.  The other is that she is not a great cook or at least I don't care for the Ukrainian cuisine.  She is a doctor full time and lives in a family with not much money, so they lack all the different spices and variety that our money can buy.  Cabbage, potatoes and pasta at just about every meal.  I did most of the cooking and taught her to cook some things.  Of course she was quite amazed at the many heat and serve foods we have to offer wondered what she will do with all her time at home when everything from food preparation to washing clothes is so less arduous.  
Our marriage papers have been in for three and a half months now, but our process in the Navy is a bit slower and will take 6 months to a year.  We decided that she will come back for another 45 days in April.  Might as well do our wait together.
Some of the superstitions that I found with her are a bit unusual.  She never make a major decision or does important business on Monday.  She was taught that women should not wash their hair on Monday.  A shower is okay though thank God.  She was very open to my evangelical protestant church though, and we enjoy evening prayers together and even look to them as a very important part of our lives together.  Well, this was a bit condensed as I didn't want to write it in several parts, but want to encourage men in this forum that their are some real jewels to be found among these woman.  Jim.

[BubbaGump]

... in response to My Fiancee's 45 Day Visit, posted by James B on Mar 4, 2002

Glad to hear things are going so well.

How is she accepted by the men at the base as compared to women that may be on the base?  

[James B]

... in response to Follow up question, posted by BubbaGump on Mar 4, 2002

Many military personnel spend their lives moving from country to country, so the percentage of marriages to foreign nationals us much greater than the norm.  She was well accepted by women and men alike.  Two men here even began considering the idea of writing women from FSU countries and I have given them some help regarding the process and awareness of scammers.  My fiancee and I often did things at my work together and several women were quite interested in us when they saw how close we sat to each other or the affection between us.  She was a real hit here on the base and fit in well.

[Jeff S]

... in response to My Fiancee's 45 Day Visit, posted by James B on Mar 4, 2002

..and be secure in the knowledge that cooking is a skill that can be learned and improved with practice - unlike a lousy attitude about relationships and extravigance.

-- Jeff S.

[Quasimoto]

... in response to My Fiancee's 45 Day Visit, posted by James B on Mar 4, 2002

Congratulations Jim! I hope there are many 45 day series in your future together.

Steve

[Mike]

... in response to My Fiancee's 45 Day Visit, posted by James B on Mar 4, 2002

I'm glad to hear you're happy and had a great time together. One thing I will add, get use to the plastic bags! They are made of gold I think?? Heck after we could no longer shut the door on our cabnit full of bags they were sent to her mother via someone that was going that way.
Mike

[James B]

... in response to Plastic bags are made of gold!, posted by Mike on Mar 4, 2002

LOL,  Yes, I laughed at her little habit.  She questioned me when I threw a bunch of them in the trash, and told me what they cost in Ukraine.  I sent her back with a few sturdy ones.

[John K]

... in response to Plastic bags are made of gold!, posted by Mike on Mar 4, 2002

I finally convinced Marina to save the decorative or heavy plastic shopping bags only.  Once we trimmed it down to that, our life has been a little easier to deal with.  Still, when we stop by the dollar store or a card store, she loves to shop for a decorative bag.

BTW, in Ukraine, if you want a plastic bag, you have to pay extra for it.  Therefore, Russians/Ukrainians tend to hoard those bags.  Whenever we went shopping in Ukraine, I started the day out by folding and pocketing a plastic bag or two...

[James B]

... in response to Get her to save the heavy stuff, posted by John K on Mar 4, 2002

Yes, I did send some strong bags back with her.  Also sent an egg crate that held a dozen eggs because I remember carrying a bag of eggs when I was in Ukraine worrying about whether I would break one.