Last minute jitters...

[Oksana]

... in response to Re: Buddha, posted by WmGo on Feb 8, 2002

Yyy, I love Buddha!!! I have read about this religion a lot. It is very interesting and noble religion! Wow!

[v20020204]

... in response to Re: Re: Buddha, posted by Oksana on Feb 9, 2002


http://www.tricycle.com/dailydharma/dailydharma.shtml

[ChipShot]

... in response to Re: Buddha, posted by WmGo on Feb 8, 2002

"By contrast, Jesus fulfilled several hundred ancient prophecies, including the exact place, date and circimstance of his birth, as well as His life, crucifiction, burial and resurrection. And He made it perfectly clear who He claimed to be: God Himself."

I won't respond directly, WmGo. I'm tempted, but I won't. I will say, though, to keep my response on point with the list, that strong doctrinal views may be difficult for a woman from FSU to swallow. As I understand the religious sensibilities of most FSU women, they are by title Orthodox, but really don't hold strong religious views. I understand that the Bible Belt brand of Christianity can really rub the wrong way. I'm not being critical, but only stating that to assist with your search, and long term happiness, you may find that a FSU woman really won't share your passion for the Christ story. I would also imagine they won't take well to being "saved."  

[WmGo]

... in response to Re: Re: Buddha, posted by ChipShot on Feb 8, 2002

Chip,

You are generally correct about FSUW and Christianity. Myself and others have pointed this out on this Board on numerous occassions. I have however found and met many real Christian woman in Russia and Ukraine. But most are not, thanks to the Communists. This points out the importance of discovering one's religious beliefs very early on in the correspondence process (or whatever else is important to the man or the woman). Through this process I have been able to screen out the atheist and agnostic women quickly - within two or three letters. Of course, unlike some I regulary date AW and I could eventually find what I am looking for here. Only God knows.

An interesting phenomena is that in certain regions of Russia, most notably the Ural Region and St. Petersburg, there is tremendous spiritual revival going on. And it is spreading. I have no doubt that God Himself brought the Wall of Communism down so that His Truth could be proclaimed throughout the former Soviet republics in the last days. That is only fair. All will be without excuse.

Good luck on your upcoming trip.

WmGO

[Jeff]

... in response to WmGo, posted by ChipShot on Feb 7, 2002

Yes, be honest! It will make you feel better too! The truth never makes things work for the worse! Telling the truth will always work for you! And you will never feel sorry about it!
Oksna

[WmGo]

... in response to Do not listen this super hunter:))), posted by Jeff on Feb 7, 2002

Listen because I *did* say (and the archives will reflect that I have said this many times): *always* be honest. Always.

Honesty is the best policy.
Honesty is sowing the good seed-
it will bear good fruit.
Honesty is what God commands.

For crying out loud though. The issue here has nothing to do with honesty. The issue is whether it is wise to just up and *volunteer* that, " by the way darling, when I am in your country I will be seeing some other ladies!"

The simple fact of the logical matter is that it is *not* an act of dishonesty to *not* make that statement.

Case closed.

Balshoi spasiba

[Oksana]

... in response to Yes listen!!!, posted by WmGo on Feb 7, 2002

I would never marry guy like this. Ohhh, many of them wrote to me that they want to command and do what they need to do, I always sent that to the... even if I knew that they had a lot of big bucks!!! it is not a right person to marry to and to trust to.
And nothing you can do about God here and his rules, we use in our lives what is the best for us!!!!! He!

[WmGo]

... in response to Re: Yes listen!!!, posted by Oksana on Feb 7, 2002

I think that this is what they call the language barrier. Or perhaps two different points aimed at different targets and both hitting the mark. Or I could personalize it also and make an immature statement like, " I would never marry an immature, selfish and self centered woman."

But I really appreciate your romantic and idealistic mind

[Oksana]

... in response to Re:  Yes, posted by WmGo on Feb 8, 2002

There is nothing you can do about the language! Some people can speak one language and still don't understand each other.

[Jeff]

... in response to Last minute jitters..., posted by ChipShot on Feb 7, 2002

I see that you are a little bit worried... well, I tell you what, you are like a hunter who is trying to catch two or tree deers at the same time.. hunters like this miss all of them, I am afraid that it possibly can happen to you ( I hope not), but if you chose this way of finding a good prson, i don't blame you, it is your bisness, but you still have to be really honest, and make for her everything clear, just explain yourself!!! You can even say her that you are afraid of making a mistake, that she might not like you and things like that, just tell her frankly, make her put herself in your situation... she will probably understand you if she is normal and kind. She also may be jailous:)) you can try to call her and tell her everything. because  RW aren't foolish either, they have honor:)))
Oksana

[WmGo]

... in response to Re: Last minute jitters..., posted by Jeff on Feb 7, 2002

Oksana,
I regularly kill two or three deer at one time. You just have to know what you are doing and be quick on the draw!

[Jeff]

... in response to Re: two or three., posted by WmGo on Feb 7, 2002

Wow!!!! I must love "deers"))

[ChipShot]

... in response to Re: Last minute jitters..., posted by Jeff on Feb 7, 2002

When I wrote her, I told her that a friend of mine had suggested that I not see only her. My friend is married to a woman from FSU, and when I wrote "S" I told her baout this suggestion. I also told her that I was only coming to SVO to see her, but I wanted to know how she felt about my possible meeting others for coffee while i was on the trip. My friend met his wife over a series of meetings, and felt that it was better to evalaute the relationship over time.

I just wanted to be "up front" about this thinking, since I think my friend has the right idea. If S and I hit it off, I want her to know that I'll return to New York, absorb everything, and then come and see her again. I just didn't think I'd be prepared to get engaged after only a one week trip. I also have a woman in Ukraine that I like, and yes, I want to see her too, this year.

What a mess...

I agree, Oksana. I find Russian and Ukrainian women to be smart, deep, and direct. I have enormous respect for every woman I'm writing. I want them to know my feelings on this LDR, even though they might not be happy about the way I'm doing it. At least, if I marry S, she won't see me as a sneak, but honest even with bad news.

On the other hand, maybe I screwed this up big time...

[Jeff]

... in response to Thanks, Oksana, posted by ChipShot on Feb 7, 2002

Just take it easy! You  just writing them, not having sex, so, just you find this way more comfortable  for yourself, go ahead!! Just be honest with all of them, just getting know someone else is not bad if it is not more than that. Only remember, if you get married with "S", you have to forget about getting know someone else:))))
And you didn't screw anything up yet:))) Just figure out what you need, and don't stumble on the way, if so....

[BrianN]

... in response to Last minute jitters..., posted by ChipShot on Feb 7, 2002

You're just an honest man, trying to be honest.  Unfortunately, many women will actually hold your honesty quite "suspect", until they see it in person.  I assume, based on your previous post, that you had been writing this one girl almost mutually exclusive, with a few extras on the side from time to time.

If you did not divulge your intent, (of having backups) in the beginning with her, then you really screwed it up with this one.  It's ok to be a little scared and concerned that it might not therefore the backup... but WMGO, said it exactly right, keep any backups under wraps in a situation such as this.

While wovo may be easy to conceptualize in the mind, actually doing it is entirely a different thing.  But if in your heart, you want to go for only one... but just in case.. there might be that smidgen of doubt, you should NEVER reveal anything on the back burner, and act with the assumption that those on said burner, won't give a wit one way or the other if you show up or not, and wouldn't be offended if they saw you with your "MS #1" on the street.

If you honestly think that the chemistry is there via long distance as it was, and it will work, then one MUST assume that it will, and maintain that attitude all the way through - until you call it off.  Only THEN call in or consider the backups.  

To be 100 percent honest, (which is a characteristic that can screw you royally in this venture), without complete, and thorough understanding between each other, is contemplating relationship suicide by email.  The way it sounds at the moment, this girl has lost ALL trust in you, which is probably the biggest issue that the fsu crowd faces with AM.

Now, it seems that you need a way out of your predicament, which is tantamount to social re-engineering of your relationship with the girl.  There are about 2 million ways to do this, but only a few that will work for yout particular situation.