Trip Report

[coaster881]

It doesn't look to me like trip reports get read much so instead of starting from scratch, I'm simply posting a portion of a letter I wrote to one of my Russian lady pen-pals and I'll add to it at the end.

Some of you may recall I'm new to this and I've only been around for a month. I stumbled upon a particualr girl on a web-site and skipped the letters, flowers and other normal beginings. I just got on a plane and flew over there for a week. Thanks again to Drew and Jack. I had the best week of my life.

Here's my observations from the letter...

................................................................
The trip to Ukraine was wonderfull. What a beautiful country and truly amazing people. Since you already know about the area I won't bore you with the details about the region but I will say it was the most beautiful place I've ever visited.
The week was spent in Cernivci. I know I'm not spelling the name correctly and I'm sorry but I don't have my map with me and I don't have Russian fonts on my compter. I think if you reverse the "N" it will be correct. What a beautiful place !!! My life is truly changed and I will never be the same again. I guess I should now feel grateful for all I own and I should be glad to be home but my honest feelings are the opposite. Instead of felling grateful, I feel selfish. I don't think I deserve any of the things I own. My life has been so easy compared to those in Ukraine and I own more at my age than most of those people will in their whole life. They are such hard workers and good people that I find myself envious.

Anyways... I was just amazed at the women in Cernivci. Their intelligence is incredible and they really seem to have their lives in order. What you told me about the women supporting the men was very obvious. Although I was only there for a week, I got a good feel for the people. Some of my observations were good and some not so good. Again, the women were absolutely amazing. They were so educated, strong willed, and confident yet they seemed to still know how to be a lady. I hope this is translating well. When I use the word "lady" it means a lot from me it. It means a person with class, grace and elegance. I don't use the word often and when I call a woman a lady, it is one of the best compliments I can give.
The women I met there were true ladies. They were so graceful and feminine that I was stunned and really wasn’t sure how to act. They were not afraid to appear soft and fragile. Maybe because they are so strong and confident inside they have more confidence and don’t have to hide behind a wall of arrogance and false strength. Maybe they were trying to appear soft because they thought this is what I wanted but I knew better. I knew how tough they had to be to survive daily life and I was not blind to this. I knew they had learned early in life what true work was and how to survive. I think It will be very hard for me to respect ANY american woman now. Our women are ruined and I have little hope for them. They can all have their “independence” and live their miserable little lives trying to find what they think they are owed. It does not exist and they will waste the majority of their living days searching for something that isn’t even there to be found.

Women in Ukraine have lived and survived tough lives yet they still manage to keep their dreams intact. Instead of giving up hope, complaining all the time and blaming men for everything wrong in their lives, they continue on and do what must be done to make their lives a little better. They are survivors and they are full of love. I could see it in them. They held their childrens hands when they walked down the streets and they talked to their children instead of yelling at them. I could see they were proud to be parents and their children meant everything to them. This may seem natural to you but you have to keep in mind I’ve been married to a woman who thinks of children as anchors. Too much time and responsibility for her. Women here think having children is a way of being controlled by a man. They seem to only have children when it’s a mistake or when they are pressured by their husbands. It makes me ill and I find myself hating them more and more as time passes. I now think that my only hope of finding someone will be if that person is from an area like Ukraine.

I also learned on my trip to be a little skeptical and cautious. I learned that most of the American men who visit are much older (50+) and this kind of made me a commodity. It would have been very easy to let this go to my head if I didn’t realize I was just getting so much attention because of my age and financial stability. At 33, I was the youngest American these girls have met and they really tried to pump me full of some crap. It’s amazing how many times I was told how good looking I am and what a wonderful person I am. All these flattering compliments from people who knew me for a whole 5 minutes. Wow! I must be a hell of a guy huh? I kept thinking about all the e-mails I get telling me I’m the perfect man. (Egotistical American male who thinks with his penis. right?)

I did meet the girl that I originally went there to meet and we had a great time. I felt young and alive again and she is truly a special person.

Back to my trip.... I was a little disappointed in the men I met. They always had to be the center of all conversations and would cut off the women in the room. The guys seemed to think that what they had to say was much more important than what the women were trying to say. All the men over 30 or 40 looked beat up and emotionally drained. It seemed that all the life and spirits the women had were taken directly from the men. One extreme to the other. The men looked like zombies who just existed. They walked and talked but their eyes were empty. I was sad for them in a way.

You must think I’m terribly judgmental and cynical but I’m really not. I have great respect for the men in you country and the struggles in their lives. I do not pity them, I respect them. I just wish they could find a way to let go of their past and try to make the most of their lives. What these men lacked in money they made up for with fabulous wives and beautiful children. Many of them just didn’t seem to notice.
...........................................................

OK, that was probably a little too long but it tells of my impressions.

Now, there is one point I'd like to make.

After talking with several ladies and a few agency owners, I've come to realize that the older guys who go over there looking for someone 20 years younger are really making an ass of themselves.

I heard girl after girl joke about all the old balding men who come over looking for a good time. These girls are not stupid by any means and I didn't meet one who would even consider a man 20 years older.

I talked to two girls under 20 who have been contacted by men in their 40's and 50's. That's not only flat out stupid, it's sick.

I'm 33 so I guess I received a little more attention just because of my age. I even had a few 17 year olds show interest. Personally, my limit is 23 and I can't imagine having a relationship with a girl young enough to be my daughter.

I know these are just my views but I do hope that any man over 40 will think hard before approaching one of these younger girls. You're setting yourself up for heartbreak and you're going to hurt someone else in the process.

I leave it at that for now. If anyone would like more info, just let me know.

Have I been promoted from "Newbie" status yet?

[CornellGuy]

... in response to Trip Report, posted by coaster881 on Jan 11, 2002

Coaster,
   It's great to see that you had a nice time there.  Thanks for sharing your impressions of your visit to Ukraine; there's nothing quite so enthralling as reading a human interest story about love, so I hope you will continue your trip report and post some photos.  I posted a short report after my April trip, but after reading your post it encouraged me to possibly write more about the love interest of my trip, and my follow-up visit in August!
   I agree with your opinions on how sick the older Western guys are chasing women 20+ years younger.  On my April trip, I saw some 60+ year-old American trying to schmooz some gorgeous, uninterested 20 year-old girl.  I pointed the scene out to my girl Anna, and she wrinkled her pretty nose in disgust.  If you older guys are really searching for a lifepartner in the FSU, be realistic!!
   As far as the Western men being in the younger age bracket goes, I agree how much more attractive the women will find you.  It's an expensive and complicated venture to go to the FSU to meet a marriage-minded woman, and most younger guys can't hack it financially or emotionally; hence the rareness of seeing younger Americans in the FSU.  My guide's eyes widened in shock a bit when she met me; she thought I was a young boy! *smile* (I'm 33, but Asian-Americans tend to look quite young at a given age).  My girl is 27 (I posted my website of photos earlier in April, so many of you have seen our pix) and we match up relatively well lookswise, but I was getting A LOT of flirtatious come-ons from young, attractive women passing by on the street, and in dance clubs!  I remember one 20 year-old elbowing my Anna out of the way to talk to me!  VERY flattering, but it reached the point of being threatening to Anna where she decided "we should stay in more and enjoy just each other"! *smile*  But I found my girl, so questions on playing the field are irrelevant.  There's more to the beauty of a woman than longer legs, right???

CornellGuy

[micha1]

... in response to Trip Report, posted by coaster881 on Jan 11, 2002

You are a amazing guy, you really did get up and go.
You are also, very right, when you do speak about us older guy trying their luck with the younger women.
But it is my perception, that there is a distinction to be made between the women under and over thirty.
In french we say, that before thirty they are beautiful naturally (just pretty because they are young).  And after thirty, they do know about their deadline, mostly if they did not have children.  They do know that life is not just a free ride on the wings of love.  So the proposition may be different.
Like they say on Jug Day in Delaware, you did get out of the gate very well, on top the for the whole mile.  Never look back till the race
was over.  Broken your maiden, there will be many on a row in Ohio.............right.

[Ramblin]

... in response to Trip Report, posted by coaster881 on Jan 11, 2002

suspected troll to newbie to a guy who went to see the girl he was interested in and had a great time.  Kind of how it goes here.  I think you set the record for shortest time to get on a plane and make a trip.  Congratulations and best of luck in finding your future wife.

[slimjimco]

... in response to Trip Report, posted by coaster881 on Jan 11, 2002

Nice words.  Claire is gonna love you.  Her words will be 'Got her running shoes, luser'.  Intellegence like yours attracts stupidity like hers.  

Keep it coming.

[Rags]

... in response to Trip Report, posted by coaster881 on Jan 11, 2002

You not only lost your cherry, but with your AW comments, you will probably make Claire's next hit list.

I told you that there was no turning back didn't I? I'm glad that you had a great trip and wish you many more.

I wouldn't write off all that flattery as being just come ons. These women look much deeper than the surface and know a good man when they see one. You are judged as much for what you don't do as for what you do. I think that you passed the test with flying colors Bro.

The crowd screams out for MORE...

[BubbaGump]

... in response to Trip Report, posted by coaster881 on Jan 11, 2002

They're some of the most interesting stories we get.  It helps us learn the ropes for our next trip.  We're trying to decide where to take our next trip and we want to learn from others mistakes because it's cheaper than learning from our own.  

Guys can date much younger women and get away with it if they look good enough.  From what I've seen the men look older over there than over here.

[Stan B]

... in response to Trip Report, posted by coaster881 on Jan 11, 2002

Is that where you were? That is where my wife is from, who knows, maybe they know each other, especial if she had anything to do w/ music.
But as far as your description of the men, my experiance was just the opposite. I met quite a few gentlemen that were friendly, intelligent, interesting and great conversationalist.  
Anyway we do want to hear more about what you did, stayed, etc...

[coaster881]

... in response to Chernivtsi?, posted by Stan B on Jan 11, 2002

I think that's the same town. Southwest of Kiev. University town with amazingly beautiful buildings. I've seen it spelled so many different ways. I was trying to spell it the way it mas on a Ukrainian map.

I think i will write a more detailed report. I'll just post it on a web page so I can include photos.

I try to do it tomorow.

[Patrick]

... in response to Trip Report, posted by coaster881 on Jan 11, 2002

I think trip reports are probably the most read posts.  It's just that the vast majority of readers aren't posting, so you don't see too many responses.  The vets usually don't comment on trip reports because they've been there and done that and the reports may be somewhat boring to them.  The other 99.8% of readers (who never post) probably live for these type messages.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to On the contrary, posted by Patrick on Jan 11, 2002

Trip reports are ALWAYS read.

It's just they rarely generate the controversy that some of the other posts do.

But post away. Everyone loves to hear the details. For one thing, every man's experience helps fill in the background, and help us realize the vast differences...

[Bobby Orr]

... in response to On the contrary, posted by Patrick on Jan 11, 2002

Patrick I agree with your assessment.  I do not know what most people do, but I have been over to Russia or Ukraine six times previously.  I will comment if something stated is really different from my experience - but most of it is just a confirmation of what I know, so no need to comment.  I am sure everyone reads trip reports, because it is a human interest story, some are extremely well written and entertaining, you always can learn and you learn what a crap-shoot life, especially life over there is.

[Zink]

... in response to Trip Report, posted by coaster881 on Jan 11, 2002

I know from experience that it looks like nobody reads a report at first. But threaten to not finish a report and they all come out of the woodwork begging for more. The trip reports are some of the best stuff that gets posted here.

I learned quickly that I was a hot commodity there because I was young. I don't get invovled in the age argument, but generally the women want a man who is close to their age. Just don't let all that flattery go to your head(lol).

You're a vet now, definitely.

[KenC]

... in response to Trip Report, posted by coaster881 on Jan 11, 2002

Coaster,
You are waaaay past being a newbie now.  But you are wrong about trip reports though, I think they are the most read posts here.  You really touched a nerve about the dif between AW and RW.  Once you go Russian, you will never go back to American women.  LOL.  More details my man.
KenC

[Skjef]

... in response to Trip Report, posted by coaster881 on Jan 11, 2002

D###n, sounds like alot of fun! Thanls for the insight into this process. I am still a definite newbie and am thinking of maybe giving this method of meeting a woman a try. It was very interesting to hear somebody else voice what I have been thinking all along. How do guys that are 20 years olader than a woman think that they are not just giving them citizenship? Really it seems ridiculous to me. Especially with the really hot old women that I see on these websites!
   Also what you said about giving extra consideration to the women who come on stronger to you because you are younger gave me some thoughts. I am only 23! I do own my own hous, business, and have a job as a firefighter though. So I will definetly have to be cautious if I ever actually get rolling oin this!