Myths And Realities

[LP]

... in response to what happend to you man........, posted by yoe on Dec 19, 2001

.....are ya babblin about now yoey? Nothing "happened" to me, I'm the same guy I've always been. lol..Unfortunately, so are you. :-)

Just as relaxed and enjoying myself as before. If anythng is different, it's not something I'm aware of. (Besides, if I was "different" and it ever got around, I'd deny everything.

Be my guest and continue to whip away, you be an novice at it anyway. (Ya just ain't got it in ya soul like I do. lol...don't feel bad you're lacking in that area, it's a good thing.)

Sorry, it has to be Lafayette. I don't get to say where the bus goes, I just drive it. I'll make it out that way soon, and leave the 100 miles to me. I'm pretty sure I know where to find ya. lol...It'll be you and me, in a dusty street at high noon.

Merry Christmas sport. :-)

[mdante99]

... in response to Like the man said...., posted by LP on Dec 18, 2001

I would like to elaborate on the last part; it will be more obvious to those who are already married to RW.

There are some major cultural differences between AM and RW; more importantly RW have a contempt for American culture. The flag waving American simply nauseates them. I did not mean to imply that marrying a RW is a piece of cake. Most of the AM will be unable to accept such disdain for America and American culture. Most of these women were raised in Soviet times, when USA was the enemy.
I agree with LP that true test lies when a couple has passed at least five years; but as I have said the first year is usually very telling, if you have a good relationship then, the chances are good.

The point I have tried to make that it is a tough road ahead but not for the same reasons that most people think about like age, desire for visa etc.

Living with someone takes compromises, and it takes special compromises when she detests your culture; age is an irrelevant factor at that point.

Mark

[Dan]

... in response to Some Elaborations, posted by mdante99 on Dec 19, 2001

You're talking out of your ass buddy.

I know dozens - maybe hundreds - of RW (from Ukraine) relatively well. Except for 2 of them - in their late 40's, I can think of none that express "disdain for America and American culture" or "detests" our culture. Sure, many of them will express an opinion - and sure, sometimes that opinion has been formed by the propaganda of the Soviet system - but it is miles away from deteestation! Mostly, it is a healthy curiousity and wanting to be sure some of the problems of their society do not cary over to America.

My experiences with RW sure are vastly different than yours are.

- Dan

[Charles]

... in response to Horse Manure, Mark . . ., posted by Dan on Dec 19, 2001

I agree with you, Dan.  Those women, and there are some, who disdain America usually don't stay long and few of them will even go through the K-1 process.  My wife loves the Crimea just like Mark's wife apparently liked living in Riga, but after she came to America she was very happy.  When she returned to Crimea to care for her mother after a stroke she couldn't wait to get back.

[mdante99]

... in response to Horse Manure, Mark . . ., posted by Dan on Dec 19, 2001

I stated from the get go, that I only describe my own experiences, knowing my wife, and other EE persons living in the area. Someone else may have different experiences. I don't pass judgments ; I describe them as I see them.

Mark

[Charles]

... in response to My experiences, posted by mdante99 on Dec 19, 2001

I must agree with Dan that despite your "experiences" the $2,000 figure is disinformation.  The visa/AOS process alone costs $500 in INS fees, and I bet you didn't include the cost of the lawyer to draft your iron-clad prenup you have boasted about on several occasions.  If you're going to give the cost of this process, be realistic and, if you had the exceptionally frugal investment that you claim in finding your wife, explain what your expenses are so someone evaluating a trip to the FSU can make an informed judgment whether to pursue the process.  To do otherwise is not fair to the men evaluating such a trip or the women who are waiting for them to visit.  I thought I was cheap in that it cost me $5,000, including using frequent flyer points.  That doesn't include costs that you should incur if you marry an AW, such as ring, wedding, etc.

[mdante99]

... in response to Re: My experiences, posted by Charles on Dec 19, 2001

I found my wife through Absolute agency; cost about $100.

I took a trip to Lithuania for two weeks; cost about $1500.

Additional costs for K-1 visa.

My wife paid for her ticket to USA, and for the physical exam in Warsaw. She was well off, if she did not have the money I would have paid.
She  started working from the very first week she was here and contributed towards the balance of the expenses.

I have repeatedly said that every one follows a different course; mine may not be the best, or even advisable, but you should take for whatever you can learn from it.

It has worked for me and my wife, we are happy with it.

Mark

[Dan]

... in response to Costs, posted by mdante99 on Dec 19, 2001

Allow me to remind you - and, of course, anyone else that may be reading this - as to EXACTLY what you said, as follows:

Opened with "I will try to debunk some of the myths."

Then:

"Myth 8; The process is expensive.

It cost me all of $2000, including my trip to Lithuania."

All under the heading of "Myths and Realities"

So - is it really such a leap to interpret Marks's meaning to be:

"This process is NOT expensive. It only cost me $2000."

He also states, in another post, that he believes anyone can do it for this figure.

THIS IS *DANGEROUS* MISINFORMATION. It is based on a data point of ONE. And it can lead both the men that believe it - and the women they contact - down a painful and unnecessary path!

I am now coming around to believing he is promoting misinformation for one very self-serving purpose.

If Mark were truly posting according to this comment: "I have repeatedly said that every one follows a different course; mine may not be the best, or even advisable, but you should take for whatever you can learn from it," - then we would never have seen a post arrogantly entitled "Myths and Realities" and the assertion of "debunking myths." Plain and simple.

Are you really unable to discern the difference Mark - or are you just funnin' us??

- Dan

[mdante99]

... in response to No - That Was NOT What You Said Mark . ...., posted by Dan on Dec 19, 2001

Dan; I don't know how to get through to your skull; I don't want to get involved in a shouting match with you.

You have only one agenda, to tackle people so that it makes you look big.
That comes from insecurities as a child, you probably never kenw your father, or your mother... they did not have much time for you.

This is a public board; so unfortunately an ideal medium for displaying your own shortcomings.

I have watched you in the past doing the same thing with others.
But I have no desire to respond to you.

You disagree with me? Fine, start your own experiences on a separate thread.
Why I have singled you out as a bully? Just think about it.
Most people on this Board knoe how to express their disagreements.

LP disagrees with me more so than you do, but you don't see me asking him to get lost. I am glad to respond to him.

You are disrupting the rest us.

Mark

[Dan]

... in response to You Don't Know How To Read English, posted by mdante99 on Dec 19, 2001

Hi Mark,

Most would say that my English skills are just fine - thank you. I *do* on occasion have a typed word I misspell. I attribute that to a lack of attention and unwillingness to worry about it for *some* audiences.

As for the disruptions - yes, I suppose you would see it that way. So long as you are arrogant and simple-minded, you will probably ALWAYS see it that way.

I don't care Mark.

I see your misinformation as vastly MORE disruptive. In fact, it was a guy sort of like you that spewed some drivel on the board a few months back and it caused me a whole lot more inconvenience than a little disruption.

Live with it Mark. It ain't goin' away!

- Dan

[Dan]

... in response to My experiences, posted by mdante99 on Dec 19, 2001

You claim in your initial post you are "debunking myths" - under the heading of "Myths and Realities." Then you go on to state in your next response to me - without qualification - that FSU women feel "contempt" and "disdain" toward America and her culture.

You are blowing bad advice out your ass Mark, and other readers need to know about it.

First - to suggest that someone has a reasonable chance of finding a life-partner in 6 months time and for an expenditure of $2000 is just out-and-out wrong - and it is irresponsible of you to be putting it out to the board as "debunking a myth."

Is it responsible to suggest that someone can find a life-partner in a single trip?? What are the odds of this happening? Sure, it is possible to make more than one trip on a $2000 budget - but only if you separate the trips by a year - to take advantage of off-peak fares - AND - you live a pretty spartan existence while there. So maybe 2 trips. Do you think people stand a high probability of finding a life-partner by making even 2 trips (separated by more than 8 months)??

I do not. And anyone that seriously thinks through this process will not agree with your silly-assed assertion either.

How much time have you actually spent in the countries of the FSU Mark??? When you make such ludicruous and idiotic blanket statements about contempt and disdain - don't you think you should qualify your comments by advising of your experience (that would be - lack of) level???

Do you really mean to suggest to people that a woman that feels "contempt" and "disdain" towards America would be a good candidate for relocation to America?!?!?

D@mn you write some idiotic drivel at times!

- Dan

[mdante99]

... in response to More Horse Manure Mark . . ., posted by Dan on Dec 19, 2001

Time and time again I have noted, this Board becomes an attacking field, becoming distasteful to many readers. I don't want any part of it. I don't know who you are nor I care to know. I also don't care to teach you manners that your parents should have taught you.
When you have something to say in a civil manner I would respond; until then I have nothing to say to you.
Fortunately you are the only one on this thread that I need to say that.

Mark

[Dan]

... in response to Lack Of Civility, posted by mdante99 on Dec 19, 2001

Make you a deal Mark - you put out some genuinely useful and meaningful information (with a modicum of accuracy), and I will assuredly respond in a most civil manner.

Deal???

- Dan

[mdante99]

... in response to Re: Lack Of Quality Information . .., posted by Dan on Dec 19, 2001

I don't want to continue this ad infinitum with you.

I related my experiences, deduct what you want from them; there are several posters who disagreed with me; I welcome disagreements and I am glad to respond.

I just don't care to hear from you again; end of dicussion.

Mark

[Dan]

... in response to Re: Re: Lack Of Quality Information . .., posted by mdante99 on Dec 19, 2001

It doesn't surprise me a bit that you would not with to hear from me Mark. I don't support your idiotic arguments - and I truly do not care a twit if you respond back or not. Your response is not my objective.

Let me offer additional perspective (to others Mark) on this subject of "civility" that Mark brought up.

Is it "civil" for someone to be given the advice that they can find a life-partner on a budget of $2000?

If someone is naive enough to believe this is possible - and they initiate the process of contacting people - and maybe they even go so far as to focus on one person - if they later discover that a more realistic sum is much higher that they cannot afford - is it "civil" to be promoting (through misinformation) the ensuing damage to BOTH participants??

Is it "civil" (or accurate - or the least bit responsible) to purport to be "debunking myths" on the strength of a single trip to the FSU?

Is it "civil" to mislead people simply because you were fortunate or intelligent or defied the odds or Providence smiled on you to overcome normal odds - in one singular circumstance?

Why is it that we do not see other, more responsible posters, such as Ken C - who also defied the odds by connecting in a single meeting - presenting this as "debunking myths"?

It is "civil" to accuse an entire population of expressing "contempt" towards America and her culture - is that a civil behavior towards the women of the FSU??? Were it true, that would be one thing - but because it is not . . . . .

There is a HUGE distinction between someone feeling a love of country - and feeling "contempt" (Mark's words) towards their new country.

I feel offended when I read things on the board, such as this thread of garbage from Mark - that I know to be untrue. The initial post had a few good and meaningful points contained it it - but it also had several dangerous and outright WRONG points in it.

I have seen too many people hurt by following misinformation - indeed, some from this very board - to sit idly by and allow it to happen to someone else - so, if my responses appear a bit crusty, it is a result of seeing the damage that may be caused. I have been in Ukraine, on more than one occasion, when I received a call or an e-mail from someone there that had gotten into trouble. I have been introduced to numerous ladies that have suffered through the heartbreak of actions from men that started into this process believing the sort of crap that Mark slews around and later discovering they didn't have the funds or the heart or whatever to continue.

Finally - I wonder if anyone has considered the agenda Mark may have for wanting people to believe his line? I hope it is not true, but as I read this crap and I suspect Mark to be of reasonable intelligence, I cannot help but wonder why a reasonably-intelligent guy would want to spread such misinformation. I have settled on a possible answer - but everyone reading Mark's 'stuff' should at least cast a suspicious eye towards his motives and answer this for themselves.

- Dan