We’ll get ’em. Take all American women who are within five years of menopause – train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna – drop them (Parachuted preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let them do what comes naturally.
Think about it. There anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble.
They had their children, and would gladly suffer or die to protect them and their future. They like to get away from their husbands, if they haven’t already. And for those of them that are single, the prospect of finding a mate other than in their own sex is about as likely as being struck by lightning. They have nothing to lose.
They have survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a pound. They can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all!!
They spent years tracking down their husbands or lovers in bars, hardware stores, or even sporting events… finding bin Laden in some cave should be no problem.
Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh, please… they have planned the seating arrangements of in-laws and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years. They understand tribal warfare.
Between them they have divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources. They know how to find that money and know how to seize it… with or without the government’s help!
Let them go fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as they crawl like ants with hot flashes over their godforsaken terrain.
