Phone Courtesy

[kevin]

Hi folks. I have a problem, and it's not as little as I thought.  For the past few days, I had to somehow notify my mahal that she cannot receive e-mail from me or anybody else, because her e-mail box is up to its quota.

Therefore, for since last Friday, communication was essentially severed.  All kinds of things are going through my mind as to what might be going through hers.

She has a work phone # which I'd otherwise refrain from using because of the company policy.  I called Sunday night to tell her about the e-mail problem.  She had not yet arrived.  I had asked to leave a message about her problem and wanted to clarify it because of English differences.  Well, it seemed like the phone was hung up prematurely, but i dismissed it as my imagination.

I waited two days.  No word from Analyn (on e-mail).  I thought it would be best to tell her in person.  I called last night when her shift was to begin.  I was told she was at a meeting, to call later, and the phone was prematurely hung up.

I was just about to go to sleep, and I thought I'd give it one more shot.  I asked for Analyn, there was a pause, a perceived misunderstanding of English communication, and then the guy started yelling in Tagalog and hung up on me.

I don't know what to think, but I'm mad.  My hands are tied.  For a simple but important message, that guy has to give me alot of crap.  I don't think it's worth me trying to call anymore because it will probably only create trouble for my mahal.

Meanwhile, I have to vent my frustrations.  I'm also wondering if anybody else has experienced this sort of BS runaround pertaining to simple tasks, and has input or comments on this matter.  I have to cool off and just wait.

- Kevin

[jim in the pi's]

... in response to Phone Courtesy, posted by kevin on Jan 24, 2001

probley she is keeping all the e-mails from you as they are prone to do that. now when i was in the states and joanne was here, we used hotmail. i had her password, so when her box was getting close to full i would delete some for her . i could also print them off for the ins.
it took my mother 8 hours to get a call thru last week. so just keep trying

[Ray]

... in response to Phone Courtesy, posted by kevin on Jan 24, 2001

Kevin,

If I were you, I'd call that guy back again and fart in his ear :-)

Ray

[Dave H]

... in response to Getting Even, posted by Ray on Jan 24, 2001

N/T

[Cecil]

... in response to Phone Courtesy, posted by kevin on Jan 24, 2001

Hi Kevin,

I know exactly your feelings on this subject.  In America, we are use to instant communication and it is so frustrating to lose contact with your lady.  I remember when Howard came back from Leyte there was a period when Ayesha was not receiving his mail and she did not have phone or email access.  She wrote Howard asking why he had stopped writing and she thought that he had abandoned her.  At the time he had no way of explaining the situation.

My personal experience is that when men in the Phils pick up the phone they have poor knowledge of English and they are embarrassed to let another man think that they are uneducated.  When the women co-workers know that you are their American penpal, they treat you like you are king of the world.  I called recently and told the lady that answered that I wanted to speak to her coworker.  She said, "A moment..." .  Then she began yelling at the top of her lungs the name of my penpal.  I hear a great commotion and pots and pans smashing on the floor as someone is obviously dashing to the phone.  I hear a chorus of elf-like voices giggling as my penpal calmly answers the phone.  As a footnote for those you haven't called yet,  When I called a penpal for the first time I realized that she did not understand most of what I was saying in English so I thought she was feeling frustrated.  I wrote her and said don't be discouraged becoz the call didn't go well.  She replied that she thought it was great becoz she loved hearing my voice.  That's when I realized that they aren't concerned so much with the content of the conversation but  they just want to hear the sound of your voice.  

Hang in there Kevin!

Cecil

[SteveG]

... in response to Phone Courtesy, posted by kevin on Jan 24, 2001

Kevin,

  Since you were married to a Filipina and are very aware of the culture, I can't tell you anything you don't already know but maybe I CAN help remind you of a few things that might calm you down.   You say her email box is full.  Well, you know how inconvenient it probably is for her to go check it, so she is probably unaware of this and as such is not feeling ignored by not receiving your messages for the past couple of days anyway.   True it could be that she just doesn't know what to do to fix the problem, i.e. delete some messages.  I think the advice given to write her a letter about this is while trying to relax is a darned good plan.

  The phone conversation you had with Analyn's coworker that seemed to end prematurely sounded like almost every conversation I ever had on the phone with anyone from the Philippines!     You know as well as I do that even though the people there speak English, they do not understand us very well and will often just say "Yes" when they have no idea what we said.   Who knows, this person may have thought that you had delivered your message to give to Analyn and then assumed you were done - just didn't know exactly what to say next?   As far as the subsequent calls are concerned, I think they are clear indicators that this person answering the phone at least, takes the company policy of "business only" calls very seriously and you will just have to wait for the US mail to bring you word from Analyn.

 I know how tough that can be too when you are used to contact on a consistent basis and then it is cut.  It drives you crazy and your imagination goes wild wondering about all the bad things the silence implies.   More often than not though it is just some random or stupid event that is of no significance at all.

                                  Hang in there!
                                  SteveG

[kevin]

... in response to Re: Phone Courtesy, posted by SteveG on Jan 24, 2001


Has the baby been born already?  I'm sure most of us at PL were waiting for the news.

Anyways, I think you made some valid points.  Regarding my ex though, our communication was 99% snail-mail.  No e-mail.  Phone communication was either collect from a PLDT phone booth in Tagum, or direct cell-phone contact from Cavite where she stayed before leaving the Phils.

I'd send Analyn e-mail every day.  Every 2 or 3 days she would go to the internet cafe.  I have not been able to send her messages, hence the original problem.

- Kevin

[SteveG]

... in response to Nice to hear from you again!, posted by kevin on Jan 24, 2001

We now have a baby girl born Dec 28, 6lbs, 12ozs!  Everything went about as well as possible with no complications for either mother or baby.  I took off a couple of weeks from work to stay home with Melly until she recovered and got in the routine of caring for the baby.  I would have announced the event but I still can't post or register from home since my email isn't recognized as an acceptable ISP provided email address.

 Oh yeah, this fatherhood business is better than I expected.  I was worried about all the resonsibility and trouble that comes with a baby but now I see what they say about how it is totally different if it is your own child.  Even when she is screaming as loud as she can for no apparent reason, she is cute.  The 1st cute baby I have ever seen!    But maybe I am biased.  haha

                                          SteveG

[Jimbo]

... in response to Yes, I am a father!!!, posted by SteveG on Jan 24, 2001

..and buy a minivan ?!?!??!?!

[Dave H]

... in response to Yes, I am a father!!!, posted by SteveG on Jan 24, 2001

N/T

[Ray]

... in response to Yes, I am a father!!!, posted by SteveG on Jan 24, 2001

...to you and Melly.

Good work Steve! That was perfect timing (tax deduction for 2000).

Ray

[Bear]

... in response to Yes, I am a father!!!, posted by SteveG on Jan 24, 2001

Congradulations

Bear

[kevin]

... in response to Yes, I am a father!!!, posted by SteveG on Jan 24, 2001


It's funny that I received your late Christmas card the night before your baby was born.  I left on a trip to the midwest late that same evening, and on Dec. 28, followed I-90 from Massachusetts to Wisconsin.

- Kevin

[humabdos]

... in response to Phone Courtesy, posted by kevin on Jan 24, 2001

He is pissed because you will soon be taking away his worker! Also workers are treated very poorly in the Philippines!

Why isn't she checking her E-mail?  P.S I have had the same type problem be 4.   Good luck!

[FL]

... in response to Phone Courtesy, posted by kevin on Jan 24, 2001

Disregarding her companies policy was probably not a good idea, especially twice in one night, my opinion only because my mahal would probably lose her job for that. You shouldn't expect courteous service when your breaking their rules. As for a full mailbox? could be many reasons, small box, lots of mail, spammed, like many of us got two nights ago, even a server glitch. Does she not have her own phone or do you not have the number? As hard as it is, wait for her to contact you, but don't make waves at her job...sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, good luck