A little advice...

[LaFunTime]

So, I have been talking to a lady from the Philippines for a month now. Things are going great, we have emailed each other, traded pictures, and talked on the phone. It's hard to understand her but I am getting better at it. The problem is, I have never video chated with her. She says she does not have a computer or laptop and does not have internet access at home. She says she uses her works (she is waiteress) computer and internet. Today, she sent me a letter about how her mom has a tumor and she really just wants to find a husband so she can move, get a job, and send money back home to her mom. I asked her if she could get a laptop or download an app on her phone so we can video chat. She says she can't afford one because she does not get paid that much. She said one of her coworkers is selling her laptop for 12000 pesos and asked if I would send her the money on Xoom so we can start video chating.

I know you should never send anyone money but I have built a pretty good relationship with her (I think). Is this something a woman from the Philippines would ask for?  She said she would delete her profile off the site we meet at if I get her the laptop. The site we meet at is freepersonals.ru which is a totally free site. Thoughts?

[Ray]

 
DO NOT send money. Instead, just flush it down the toilet to save time and transfer fees.
 
 
Tumor? Laptop? Wants a husband so she can get a visa? This is not good...
 
 
Ray
 
 

[piglett]

i see the red flags here. Lafun this is a classic scam.

While looking for Pinay wife i myself probably had 10 such request myself

let me explain how it works.

1st off your probably dealing with a pro

second because you have never seen this person this may really be a man

in the Philippines most people don't have a computer

so they go to an internet cafe

it p15 (30 cents) per hour to rent the use of a computer & that includes a webcam

these cafes are all over the Philippines so unless this person is in a very remote

province finding one is easy.

in Asia a "good woman"  think wife material would never ask a person she had never met

for one peso. they may be poor but they are proud



stick around & we will see if we can "school you"

in no time at all you will see this type of BS for just what it is



good luck
piglett

[LaFunTime]

That's what I figured, best to just cut ties. Any trusted Philippine sites? Or ones that are trusted more?

[piglett]

That's what I figured, best to just cut ties. Any trusted Philippine sites? Or ones that are trusted more?

it's not that the site is bad it's just that even a bad woman is looking for a good man.
i went through what is now filipinacupid.com
here is the 1st rule
if she makes the first move ....WATCH OUT
scammers have no time to wait around
so they contact you
I like to make contact with ladies that can be found under "newest members"
my wife didn't even have a picture posted yet
when she did post one it wasn't of very high quality
scammers always have a picture posted.... this is the "bait"
also the picture will not be some kind of cell phone pic her sister took
she will have spent real money to get the highest quality pics possible
this makes more men want to contact her.
my wife was only making p9600 a month working 12 hours a day 6 days a week as a nurse
p12,000 is real money in the "PI"
i would play with scammers early in my search
i would use them so i could learn what to look for
so maybe play along for a while
also always downplay your job/ income/ car and such
this way you will be seen as a poor working stiff 
not as a "mark" 

a good woman will not care if you have a new car or a big house

she will only ask for 1 thing

"come see me"

if she asks for nothing more, your probably on the rite track



good luck
piglett

[LaFunTime]

Yeah, I don't brag about any of that. I'm far from rich, don't drive my dream vehicle, or own my dream house. Honestly, unless they ask I don't even mention my job because I don't think a lot even know what a "Transloader" is lol. Do you recomend a specific area of the Philippines to search?


Thanks,
John

[SkyNorth]

Dear John...You have run into 2 of the more popular fairy tales at the same time.
 
things you may hear
My mom is sick - baby, dad, sister, family member - and I need a little help = 9000 pesos
 
We are hungry --- family -  we just need 12000 pesos which is a month and quarters salary in the Philippines LOL
 
I need technology to call you - cell or laptop etc.  It is more for you than me...not really. 10000 pesos please
 
I want to come see you in USA but I just need 10000 php for my VISA then if you swallow that hook -- you get to pay for a fake ticket to the USA
 
Our electric water rent is due and money was stolen -- so help me - if you really care for me.   And on and on

[piglett]

Yeah, I don't brag about any of that. I'm far from rich, don't drive my dream vehicle, or own my dream house. Honestly, unless they ask I don't even mention my job because I don't think a lot even know what a "Transloader" is lol. Do you recomend a specific area of the Philippines to search?


Thanks,
John

don't even bring up money, bringing it up will poison the relationship


it changes everything (been there done that)


your a poor laborer even if your not 

[robert angel]

Yeah, I don't brag about any of that. I'm far from rich, don't drive my dream vehicle, or own my dream house. Honestly, unless they ask I don't even mention my job because I don't think a lot even know what a "Transloader" is lol. Do you recomend a specific area of the Philippines to search?


Thanks,
John

As others have mentioned, a lady from a rural area of a province who has gone to college and perhaps to work in a big city after finishing school, is often a good scenario. They may be a bit less jaded and have more 'traditional' values. If nothing else, if a gal has come from a rural area where there aren't a lot of wealthy people and commercial influences, she might not be expecting a lavish lifestyle and probably manages her resources wisely.

Personally, I like the people and lifestyle of the Visayas most. I think there's a lot of natural beauty there. Not a big fan of Cebu City, which is in the Visayas--it's sort of a mini Manila to me. Sure there are some really nice ladies in Manila and Cebu, but I'd look at Bohol, Davao, Dumaguete and places around there first.


A lot is changing there now. The biggest city around where my wife's family comes from is about a 20 minute motorcycle/trike ride away from their village (barangay). Sure it's the center of govt and transportation for the province, but it only has about 73,000 people. Even so, not one, but two malls are opening there. I know that a lot of poor families, with children in tow, will soon flock there, even if they have no money, to enjoy the air conditioning. But it will influence their perceptions and expectations.

I'd highly recommend you follow what Piglett has posted. About the only thing I'm not 100% in agreement on with Piglett is about totally staying away from women who may send you an interest. I say not '100%', because overall, he is right, but as I said, the times they are a changing and its become more acceptable. I don't think my wife's sister has sent out any 'interests', but  I bet a few decent gals have. Looking at their member number and looking for the newer ladies is smart. Unless they have a good explanation, if they've been on a while, you have to wonder why.

If they are half naked, in bikinis, covered with makeup or tattoos, orange or blonde dyed hair, posing in bars or different hotel rooms, I'd be concerned. Even among their fellow Filipinos, my wife, her sisters and friends, wear shorts and a T shirt to the beach or pool, inc. when in the water--and they're Catholic, not Muslim.

Sure pictures are important leading indicators, but like Piglett's lovely wife, who did not have a real great photo on her profile, neither did my wife. Sometimes you have to look closer and say to yourself--"I bet she could take a lot better picture than that" or even (especially on brand new profiles) on profiles w/o pictures, read them and if they seem to be nice, give them a shot--you may find a diamond that the other guys, so busy looking for total eye candy, have overlooked.

Modesty in a woman from the Philippines is one of the greatest things in the world and will likely have lasting effect on many parts of her character/personality for years to come.

A good Filipina KNOWS she has value, ability and self worth and doesn't have to advertise it.

Sure the biggest cities have millions of women to choose from, but per capita--just from my own perspective, I  find it easier to find a nice woman more to my liking from ladies who are from the provinces.

That said, there's a lot of women in the cities from the provinces, who brought their values--their mindset with them. That's why it's good to ask her where she came from, what growing up was like--her family, how many siblings, etc. If originally she comes from a decent sized family, from a village or small town, there's a good chance that she had to learn how to get along with people and to avoid or minimize conflict among her fellows.

[Gato4Astrid]

i see the red flags here. Lafun this is a classic scam.

+1   Piglett is 100% right what he had explained.    I have encountered many of them in similar story as what you have written.  MOVE ON!


Not only Phillipines, but anywhere, Russia, Ukraine, Colombia, Peru, Dominican Republic and possibly in Mars too !!


One girl asked me to buy her a mobile phone.  I asked her why?  She wanted to communicate with me  (I already knew she lied, cos she wanted it to talk to her friends).  I told her that we could use MSN / Yahoo  (It was before skype was around), and I am deaf, so voice call will do us no good! 

[piglett]

i only want to add that most of the PI lady's who have gone to college


were required to take english classes


my wife's nursing classes were all in english


this was a huge plus because i could understand her


also if there was a misunderstanding (it happens)


we could quickly sort it out








happy huntin


piglett 

[Ray]

i only want to add that most of the PI lady's who have gone to college


were required to take english classes


my wife's nursing classes were all in english

Good point Pig,
 
But actually, English(American version) is currently the mandated medium of instruction in virtually all schools in the Philippines from 3rd grade on. Of course Filipino(essentially Tagalog) is still a required subject as well as other optional foreign languages.
 
There is an ongoing debate on weather Filipino or English should be the medium of instruction. Tagalog people tend to prefer Filipino because Tagalog is their native language, but Most Filipinos have native languages other than Tagalog. With some 170 separate languages spoken in the Philippines, English is a common language for all, just as Spanish once was years ago.
 
Note also that official government documents are in English.
 
English has given Filipinos a huge advantage in preference for overseas employment, which plays a key role in the economy of the Philippines.
 
So, if Filipinos are educated in the English language, why are they often hard to understand by us native English speakers? IMO, the Filipinos teaching in the schools often have poor pronunciation skills themselves, which are passed on to their students. And the Taglish they hear on TV is very often mispronounced. I have always felt that the only way to completely master a language in a school environment is to be taught by a native speaker.
 
 
Ray
 
 
 
 
 

[Ricardo1]

I know you should never send anyone money but I have built a pretty good relationship with her (I think).

Chatting on the internet is not a relationship.....

[robert angel]

I know you should never send anyone money but I have built a pretty good relationship with her (I think). Is this something a woman from the Philippines would ask for?  She said she would delete her profile off the site we meet at if I get her the laptop. The site we meet at is freepersonals.ru which is a totally free site. Thoughts?

A point to be made about Filipinas asking for money on-line is that most really desirable Filipinas, in my opinion, won't ask you for money. They think it's shameful.

Looking back now, it's crazy, but I knew my wife for about four years before I actually went to visit her. For much of that time, we chatted every day. Never, not one time, did she even hint she wanted a single peso. Meanwhile, she was spending some of her very limited money--money that should've gone for food, to pay for chat and cam time with me.

I thought she was just slim and naturally beautiful. She was, and still is, but I should've known that she was hungry too. When I asked what she ate and she'd say "Oh--I ate some vegies." I should've known that she was hungry and that she would've preferred some thing with some meat.

Call it pride, self respect or whatever, but damn if she never let off. I still feel bad that my dumb @ss didn't catch on sooner, never mind get on the plane and ask her to marry me a lot sooner. She had good looking guys including a surgeon and airline pilot, both making a lot more  $$$ than me interested in her, but she wanted something more than money.

[piglett]

A point to be made about Filipinas asking for money on-line is that most really desirable Filipinas, in my opinion, won't ask you for money. They think it's shameful.

CORRECT!!!


i had a hell of a time getting my now wife to take $30 to buy a fan


hers had given up & it was really hot in her 4th floor apartment


so hot that she was finding it hard to sleep at night


she would not take the money i offered


so i told her that i wanted her to buy me a fan


so it would be there when i came for a visit


& then i said "but you can use it till i get there" wink wink


by saying this i saved her from looking like a money grubbing bar girl


bar girls are normally the ones who have men sending them money


no good woman wants to look like a bar girl




piglett


   

[robert angel]

As to:

>>she would not take the money i offered


so i told her that i wanted her to buy me a fan


so it would be there when i came for a visit


& then i said "but you can use it till i get there" wink wink


by saying this i saved her from looking like a money grubbing bar girl<<

Probably nobody would've known you bought it for her, but SHE would've known and felt badly--that's enough for a solid person over there to want to refuse. Some women there (the other kind) would not only ask for & take any sort of 'gift', but they'd brag about it to others. And while a lady who refuses what they often see as 'charity' doesn't live by worrying too much about what everybody else thinks or does, they do not want to do something that would make them look bad to others. especially younger siblings--family.

[Gato4Astrid]

You have to realise that many girls had nothing to lose by asking you for $$$$ as she also has many other men line up.  It is like process of elimination

[robert angel]

You have to realise that many girls had nothing to lose by asking you for $$$$ as she also has many other men line up.  It is like process of elimination

Yes, and even more importantly, guys need to use the 'process of elimination' to weed out women who's main focus is on getting $$$ from the guys. Some girls want guys to also come visit and treat them to nice resort vacations, along with new clothes and other stuff.

We all put stock in pictures and apparent beauty, but you have to dig deeper and that always takes time. You can't judge character and whether or not someone is trustworthy from pictures.

Especially for the younger guys who haven't invested the time and pretty much decided on one particular woman, frequently on that first trip, they're so into the novelty of pretty young things all over the place and getting laid, that the first trip is mainly about that, even if they didn't intend it to work out that way. The 'rock star effect' takes over.

There are a lot of 'available' women and it can be a challenge for a foreigner of any age, single or married, to keep his pants on over there.

[piglett]

There are a lot of 'available' women and it can be a challenge for a foreigner of any age, single or married, to keep his pants on over there.

guys also need to remember that if she is a virgin (very common in the Philippines)


and the guy "takes her" he will be expected to them marry her


if not he may find his @ss in jail


now if she has already had a boyfriend or 3 then that is another story

[Bob_S]

and possibly in Mars too !!

Especially watch out for those martian women.  Oh, sure, they're hot and exotic with their triple breasts and green skin, but they're all a bunch of turbinium-diggers.  Quatloos, baby, they're all about the quatloos. 

[piglett]

Especially watch out for those martian women.  Oh, sure, they're hot and exotic with their triple breasts and green skin, but they're all a bunch of turbinium-diggers.  Quatloos, baby, they're all about the quatloos. 

i'll keep an eye on any that show up in my area


thanks Bob

[kai #2]

Use your big head not your little one

[robert angel]

Especially watch out for those martian women.  Oh, sure, they're hot and exotic with their triple breasts and green skin, but they're all a bunch of turbinium-diggers.  Quatloos, baby, they're all about the quatloos. 

Uh oh--Bob_S, is watching too much sci fi again. That explains his lack of presence here lately. Between that and the Japanese influence in that realm he may be exposed to, there's no telling how far out he'll go!

[Gato4Astrid]

Especially watch out for those martian women.  Oh, sure, they're hot and exotic with their triple breasts and green skin, but they're all a bunch of turbinium-diggers.  Quatloos, baby, they're all about the quatloos. 

 

[thekfc]

..........So, if Filipinos are educated in the English language, why are they often hard to understand by us native English speakers? IMO, the Filipinos teaching in the schools often have poor pronunciation skills themselves, which are passed on to their students. And the Taglish they hear on TV is very often mispronounced. I have always felt that the only way to completely master a language in a school environment is to be taught by a native speaker.

Yep.
 
Ray, I was in your neck of the woods last week and heard a whole lot of Taglish and other stuff (from Non-Filipinos) that was passed of as English. 
 
On a side note, we got to do some shopping at Seafood City and ate at Manila Sunset and a few other places. We were in National City visiting the wife's family there.