Looking at options for myself

[beulah]

Hello everyone this website interests me.  I recently divorced and have noticed websites with very attractive ladies from colombia and to a lesser extent other spanish speaking countries.  I have become tempted to dip my toe in the water, but have reservations because it looks a little too good to be true.  I don't know how doable it is for a regular normal age 45 to meet young attractive ladies like I see on the websites.   I haven't dated for 20 years although I am still in pretty good condition physically and I make a good wage.  I'm considering dating a lady from another country but seems a little fishy.  I don't want to get taken to the cleaners.

[Micky]

beulah -

Welcome and the simple answer is - No,  Colombia (and other countries) is not smoke and mirrors.  If a guy is not really foolish and goes about the process with level thinking.  There are players,  but,  I think that their game is pretty transparent.

If you make a good wage,  I am available,  but there will be NO physical relationship,  but I will make you a very mediocre dinner.

Micky

[Gato4Astrid]

Hello everyone this website interests me.  I recently divorced and have noticed websites with very attractive ladies from colombia and to a lesser extent other spanish speaking countries.  I have become tempted to dip my toe in the water, but have reservations because it looks a little too good to be true.  I don't know how doable it is for a regular normal age 45 to meet young attractive ladies like I see on the websites.   I haven't dated for 20 years although I am still in pretty good condition physically and I make a good wage.  I'm considering dating a lady from another country but seems a little fishy.  I don't want to get taken to the cleaners.

Your confidence in dating might be pretty low in search for a young attractive, smoking hot lady !!!

[htown]

Good for you.  Do as much research as you can.  Join some dating sites and brush up on your Spanish.  Where do you live?  If Latinas are what you're interested in it may not be necessary to look in other countries.  For example I live in Houston TX and there are plenty of great latin women right here locally who would love to date a guy like you.

[beulah]

Thanks guys.  To answer your questions, I live in california and I speak spanish at a conversational level. I feel okay about dating although I actually have never dated before. I met  my ex-wife in early college.  I'd like to enjoy myself now that I'm alone. 

[whitey]

Welcome beulah:


My ex-wife and I separatedorced around 5 years ago when I was 45.  We had been married 20 years, and of course no dating for me during that time.  So, your situation is very similar to mine 5 years ago.


Marrying a Colombian or latin woman is not too good to be true ... it's even better than you can imagine.


All my experiences with Colombia, my Colombian friends and family, and of course my beautiful wife have all been extremely positive ... I would encourage you to get down to Colombia as soon as possible to experience things for yourself and not look back.  I would never, ever consider dating in North America again.


If a man is sensible and spends enough time getting to know the woman, her friends, and family ... and also uses resources like this forum to understand the potential pitfalls, danger signs, cultural differences, etc... the chances of being "taken to the cleaners" is less than marrying someone from your home town.


If you have any specific questions, ask away ... we'd be glad to pontificate (er, I mean, help).


Cheers ... Whitey 

[InnocentVixen]

Hi beulah and welcome,


From your post it sounds like you don't have confidence problems since you consider yourself in good shape and are not struggling financially, even if you don't come across any gold diggers you will need to invest time and money into this, if only to get wherever you decide to go, spend time there and actually date.


Being recently divorced, I applaud you for not mentioning the words wife or marriage, go to Colombia and have some fun, choose places that you think you would enjoy as vacation and see the ladies as a bonus. I doubt you will have trouble meeting any and you will probably need to get the dating phase out of your system since you didn't give yourself the time to enjoy it before you got married.


Then maybe after a while you will meet a lady who you can get serious with, realize that you were looking in the wrong place or maybe that you don't want a serious relationship anytime soon or ever. Whatever you decide is fine, just make sure you are clear about your intentions and don't string a good girl along.


And of course don't let them take advantage of you or sell yourself short.


Good luck

[fathertime]

Hello everyone this website interests me.  I recently divorced and have noticed websites with very attractive ladies from colombia and to a lesser extent other spanish speaking countries.  I have become tempted to dip my toe in the water, but have reservations because it looks a little too good to be true.  I don't know how doable it is for a regular normal age 45 to meet young attractive ladies like I see on the websites.   I haven't dated for 20 years although I am still in pretty good condition physically and I make a good wage.  I'm considering dating a lady from another country but seems a little fishy.  I don't want to get taken to the cleaners.

go git em man!


based on what you have said thus far, you are going to do fine with the ladies in colombia...pin your ears back and get on a plane if that is what you want to do.  The whole thing with pretty young ladies CAN be real but it mostly depends on you, there are a lot of knuckleheads that botch things up somewhere along the line, start to have mistrust, or decide that they just want to play around with the ladies rather than marry any.


Fathertime!   

[SkyNorth]

Beu...I was in you same boat about 2-3 years ago.  I'm in my mid 40s as well.  Many many friends told me to sow some wild oats and I would recommend that 100%.  So you might want to try a little dating in your own backyard.  You know - to get your rap down.  I found ladies in the USA appoachable as long as they were 39ish to 45ish and over 46 they are very approachable.
 

Additionally, you may enjoy the pratice.  I sure did.  And I am using the extra time to brush up on my Spanish, do research, and look at all the options Former Soviet Union girls, South of the Border girls, and Asian ladies (ladies from the Phillipines speak English).  I am not anti our hometown girls but going out with 30-40-50 has sold me on other options.  But I think you should test the waters in your own pool to get your own feel for things.  GOOD LUCK!

[V_Man]

Welcome Beulah!


You have already got some good advice here. I partcularly agree with Whitey and IVixen. With your Spanish you will be a hit!! In fact I think your biggest problem will be avoiding falling for the first woman that works her magic on you. There are some absolute gems there. Hence be aware of the pitfalls but keep some blance. Some guys screw it up before they start by being too paranoid. Also remember that the woman have to worry about the intentions of the men - so consider things from her perspective as well. In spite of all this there are far too many positives not to at least try.

[Bob_S]

Welcome, Beulah.
As you can see by the responses, the only real barrier to you pursuing this option is whether you have the gogetitiveness to follow through.  But one thing I advise is to look inside yourself and know why you are doing this.  You said you were looking to date a gal from another country.   Is this dating just for fun to scratch a lonely itch, or to pursue a spouse?  Which direction you intend will determine how you go about it.  And there are guys here who've chosen one path or the other (and sometimes both) who can give advice to match your goal.
And remember, a Colombiana most likely cannot come visit you, so you will have to invest all the time and effort to go meet her.  So know how much you're willing to "invest" for what you eventually hope to get out of this pursuit.

[robert angel]

I make a good wage.  I'm considering dating a lady from another country but seems a little fishy.  I don't want to get taken to the cleaners.

Welcome and good luck. I usually hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

Nonetheless, I have been pretty lucky and happy. My chances came along, I weighed the pros and cons and after a few intense relationships with other women abroad, (and almost six years)  I made a marital choice. My wife's very trustworthy I feel, and is mature beyond her years. We have differences that I like--we see things differently, but yet we can usually read each other's minds, finish each other's sentences and agree on almost anything.

But let's not forget that most guys who marry a woman feel great about their bride to be early on, and then again how we know how about half (or more) marriages work out after a a few+ years----d-i-v-o-r-c-e.

I think at least a couple years should go by before someone remarries and if there are kids involved, that adds complexity. Get to know your 'new' self before seriously looking for 'your other half'. I have two kids and my divorce hit me hard. It took a while before I was comfortable in my 'new skin'. I'd advise take some trips just for fun--Yep, 'get your feet wet'. You were fairly young when you got married the first time, why not really enjoy being single again for a while?

When you do eventually meet a lady you want to marry, what I said about 'hoping for the best and preparing for the worst' would probably include legal advice along the lines of if you're thinking about getting (or if you think she'll want) a nicer house, cars or such, anytime soon, get them BEFORE you get married, so you don't chance to lose half of it--half that you probably saved for years prior, if things go south.
Retirement accounts, bank accounts (liquid assets) can be held (in name) by family members you trust. Today, my wife is about as well taken care of as I can reasonably have arranged if an emergency occured in our lives, but I didn't run right out after the wedding and make her automatic beneficiary of my modest estate!
 
 So my advice is don't get in any hurry--after not dating for 20 years, I don't know if you're going "Back to the Future" or 'Forward to the Future'! I'd advise slowing down 'serious relationship' timelines, while speeding up on-line action. See what's available. Bone up on your Spanish, maybe take some salsa lessons, look for and smell the roses meanwhile and plan for a brighter future.
 
The dating game's changed for you enough domestically 20 years later--all the good gals locally are pretty much married and dating can be hellishly depressing.  I don't know if was just me--but the local babes around my city seemed like they almost all got fat and ugly and not that some extra weight's terrible, but with plenty of emotional baggage' --bad attitudes to go along with that. It wasn't great paying the dinner/date bills to only be emotionally drained!

Overseas, it's a whole new game, period. People often seem interested--even priviliged, to make your aquaintance. They're not likely to meet you and expect you to be a new version of the same old dog.

You sound like you're in an enviable situation--make it work and enjoy the ride! Bold new adventure!!

[beulah]

Thank you all.

To clarify, I am interested in marriage.  I've been independent from ex-wife for about 1.5 years.  I have tidied up quite a bit of the loose ends and now that my house is in order I'd like to meet an attractive young lady with good morals and friendly warm disposition.  I have lost a little excess weight recently and feel very good and energetic. 

I like your idea Fathertime.  I think I will book a flight after the new year.  This week I started writing to a friend of a friend on facebook and I'm going to continue to field any other options and see where it leads me.

Again thanks all.

[whitey]

I like your idea Fathertime.  I think I will book a flight after the new year.  This week I started writing to a friend of a friend on facebook and I'm going to continue to field any other options and see where it leads me.

That's a great way to start making friends, practice Spanish, and getting to know the Colombian culture.  You never know where these connections can lead - I was introduced to my wife via a mutual friend.


I'm not sure if you have a latin or Colombian community in your city, but I would encourage you to start making contacts there.  Maybe attend some social events, assist at ESL classes, volunteer to be an English study partner ... things like that.  If you present yourself as a decent person, latin people will be more than happy to introduce you to women, in your city or back in their native country.


Another option to practice Spanish and connect with people is Live Mocha - it's kind of a combination learning and social network site: http://livemocha.com/


You seem to have a sensible plan and are doing the right things to get started ... I wish you luck ...

[Alabamaboy!]

Thank you all.

To clarify, I am interested in marriage.  I've been independent from ex-wife for about 1.5 years.  I have tidied up quite a bit of the loose ends and now that my house is in order I'd like to meet an attractive young lady with good morals and friendly warm disposition.  I have lost a little excess weight recently and feel very good and energetic. 

I like your idea Fathertime.  I think I will book a flight after the new year.  This week I started writing to a friend of a friend on facebook and I'm going to continue to field any other options and see where it leads me.

Again thanks all.

I think you are going to do very well in Colombia. Especially because you have the ability to communicate well in Spanish. I think the more Spanish you know, the less chance you will miss red flags and get scammed. Make sure you talk to everyone you can there, including the men, old ladies, everyone so you can get a feel for the culture so you can better make sense of things.

You sound like you are looking for a good, uncomplicated, "normal" girl. And I would like to plug BAQ for you to begin your search. I have been to most of the major cities in Colombia and it seems like there is a lot less silicone and fakeness with the BAQ girls. It seems like the vast majority of Costenas just want to have a nice little life with a good husband, maybe a kid or two, and a home. The women I had chatted with and met from Medellin, Bucaramanga, and other places in the interior seemed more interested in the rat race, building their careers, and material things. But I know there are guys on this forum who have found great wives from all over Colombia, so you can definitely meet great women wherever you choose to travel if you take your time and don't ignore obvious red flags.

My second best recommendation would be Cali. I met some terrific women there as well.