Which country in Asian fosters the most respect for the institute of marriage?

[Veracity]

Due to space limitations, there was no way for me to phrase my initial thread title/question in the correct way. Let me flesh it out a bit.
Yes, I'm going to be dealing in generalities. Yes, I'm going to be asking you to deal in generalities. I know that people are all individuals. I know that you can find losers and user everywhere. Please do not reply with that sort of thing.
I'm looking for opinions.
If you were looking for a nice piece of jewelry, you'd go to a jewelry store. Or better yet, a shopping mall that had several jewelry stores in it. What you wouldn't do is take a metal detector to the beach and start searching for jewelry.
Just as the US produces a disproportionately small number of women who respect marriage, I'd like your opinion regarding which country in Asia has culture that produces women who are more likely to respect marriage.
I'm well aware that a guy should learn about the culture of a country first and then see if he likes it before he starts looking for a woman from that country..... I'm not talking about that.
Please share your opinions.

[Woody]

First, define "respect marriage."
Second, define what you are looking for in a life mate and evaluate how you fit into that relationship.

After those two, maybe we can be more helpful.

[Bob_S]

Forget opinions.  Everyone will come on here and cheerlead for their own preferred country (including me!).  But you can look at facts.
First regarding divorce. According to Divorce Magazine, statistics from 2002 for divorce rates are as follows:
With the U.S. as a comparison of 4.1 divorces per 1000 population per year, S. Korea has 2.12, followed closely by Hong Kong with 1.96 and Japan with 1.92, and China a distant 0.79.  No statistics for the Phils because officially divorce is illegal there, a reflection on the cultural reverence for the institution of marriage, but that doesn't count simply dissolved marriages where one party just walks out without any official paperwork.

Another way to view "respect for marriage" is understanding the importance of marriage to family.  For that, you can look at out-of-wedlock birth rates.
Again, according to Family Life Culture Watch, given the U.S. rate of about 40% as a comparison, Japan has about a 2% rate (from what I can dig up, S. Korea's rate is slightly lower).   I couldn't find anything for China (must be a state secret or something).  The closest I could find on short notice was a Hong Kong attorney general report over 20 years old showing a steady 4% rate through the decade of the 1980's while other countries' rates were rising.  But for the Philippines, a Philippine News report showed that for 2008, the rate was 37%, shocking for an Asian country but still lower than most developed Western countries and quite a few developing countries.  And note also that that doesn't always indicate single mothers.  Many of the out-of-wedlock births in the Phils and elsewhere can be born into cohabitation situations (shack ups).  Though I would still say those situations show a lack of respect for marriage as an institution and for its importance to raising a family.

[Veracity]

First, define "respect marriage."
Second, define what you are looking for in a life mate and evaluate how you fit into that relationship.

After those two, maybe we can be more helpful.

Fair enough. For me, respect for marriage breaks down as follows: (There might be a few errors of omission.)
Let me say upfront that I do not expect anything of my mate that I would not expect of myself.
Respect for the person, appreciation for what they do, fidelity, emotional support, outward displays of affection (does not have to be in public if this goes against her culture), understanding the importance of sex, no bait and switch (no huge changes right after marriage).
Basically, the opposite of the stereotypical American female who sees marriage as the finish line. The American female puts all her best effort up front in order to get married. She looks her best, acts pleasant, pretends to have a certain sexual appetite, keeps her weight down, keeps her hair long, and in general, is deceiving the guy completely. As soon as the ring is on the finger, the weight piles on, the hair gets chopped off, the sex stops, and the nagging and complaining begins.
Which Asian culture is more likely to produce women who do not view the wedding ceremony as the finish line?

[SkyNorth]

One might add her getting so wrapped up in her career that little else is important.

[Jeff S]

All of them - At least all I have been to and dated in - Japan, China, Korea, Hong Kong, the Philippines. There's generally an understanding that man and women are different and each has their own duty to do in a relationship. You'll find Asians a lot more cooperative than competitive in this arena too - much more willing to work with you on problems that nagging you into submission. It all still boils down to which culture most agrees with you and your personality.

[Capstone]

I agree with Jeff - a good woman can be found in any Asian country and I don't think that one is better than another for this. The main goal is to find a country whose culture that you feel comfortable with as you will be living with that culture for the rest of your life after marriage.


In my case, My Chinese wife has not changed at all since we married and she came to the US. She weighs the same as she did before we got married (even after giving birth to our son), dresses the same way, still has long hair and treats me the same as she always did and our sex lives as not changed either.

[Capstone]

Another way to view "respect for marriage" is understanding the importance of marriage to family.  For that, you can look at out-of-wedlock birth rates.
Again, according to Family Life Culture Watch, given the U.S. rate of about 40% as a comparison, Japan has about a 2% rate (from what I can dig up, S. Korea's rate is slightly lower).   I couldn't find anything for China (must be a state secret or something).  The closest I could find on short notice was a Hong Kong attorney general report over 20 years old showing a steady 4% rate through the decade of the 1980's while other countries' rates were rising. 

Bob,


The reason that you probably couldn't find any statistics covering out of wedlock birth rates in China is because they are illegal and pretty much nonexistent. Huge fines are levied on unwed mothers who give birth (as well as the baby's father), so it rarely ever happens. That coupled with the one child policy ( a women would not want to give birth out of wedlock if it meant not being able to have another child with a future husband) and also because out of wedlock births are still very unacceptable in Chinese society make them very rare.

[Jeff S]

In my case, My Chinese wife has not changed at all since we married and she came to the US. She weighs the same as she did before we got married (even after giving birth to our son), dresses the same way, still has long hair and treats me the same as she always did and our sex lives as not changed either.

Same with my Japanese wife, and we've been together 26 years now. In fact, she probably treats me even better now than ever.

[Veracity]

I am enjoying all of the replies.
Thanks.
 
 

[Jhengsman]

  But for the Philippines, a Philippine News report showed that for 2008, the rate was 37%, shocking for an Asian country but still lower than most developed Western countries and quite a few developing countries.  And note also that that doesn't always indicate single mothers.  Many of the out-of-wedlock births in the Phils and elsewhere can be born into cohabitation situations (shack ups).  Though I would still say those situations show a lack of respect for marriage as an institution and for its importance to raising a family.

I have always wondered about that myself, when that Briton who was arrested for adultery story was on Lock Up Abroad and the "legal husband" was declared to presumed father of his child I wondered if that 37% was only single mothers or were separated but legally married mothers included.

[jm21-2]

Fair enough. For me, respect for marriage breaks down as follows: (There might be a few errors of omission.)
Let me say upfront that I do not expect anything of my mate that I would not expect of myself.
Respect for the person, appreciation for what they do, fidelity, emotional support, outward displays of affection (does not have to be in public if this goes against her culture), understanding the importance of sex, no bait and switch (no huge changes right after marriage).
...
Which Asian culture is more likely to produce women who do not view the wedding ceremony as the finish line?

Those things have to do more with relationships than marriage. Of course the two are intertwined, but if you're talking about the institution of marriage itself, that's more of a business deal imho. Do you expect a woman to be respectful of you in a relationship? I hope so. Loyal? I would think so. Take out all the things relationships and marriage have in common, leaving only the things marriage has that relationships don't, and it's more like a business partnership than anything else. So look for the same qualities you would expect in a business partner, which I firmly believe can be found anywhere in the world.


I don't think there is an absolute dearth of decent women in the US or western countries. Just harder to meet them generally. No appeal as a foreigner (makes you more interesting). Guys in general tend to think they are much better/more valuable as a partner than they really are.


Anyways. Long way of saying there's no country that produces better "wives." Just look for cultures that have values similar to your own, which may not be your birth culture. Do you like the food? Could you see yourself living in her country for the rest of your days? Remember you're marrying the culture as well as the woman.

[evoltnvii]

Anyways. Long way of saying there's no country that produces better "wives." Just look for cultures that have values similar to your own, which may not be your birth culture. Do you like the food? Could you see yourself living in her country for the rest of your days? Remember you're marrying the culture as well as the woman.

You are correct sir... HEYO!!