Can a One Woman Trip be successful?

[Capstone]

Successful one woman trips are actually pretty common - at least in Asia. I am a regular poster on another site which is dedicated to navigating the visa process for member's Chinese spouses & fiancees. We have over 5000 members, all of whom have already found the 'one' lady and are either married or engaged to her.  The vast majority of these guys (I would say >95%) all met their women either on a one woman trip, business trip or vacation (which turned out to be 1 woman trips). The visit multiple women on the same trip model would be doomed from the very beginning in China in most cases - if a Chinese woman knew that you are there to see other women besides her then she would kick your butt to the curb pronto.

I think that the one thing that makes these one woman trips so successful is the amount of time most of the guys put into really getting to the know the girl before they visit. In most cases visiting Asia is not like visitring LA, the cost and distance prevents most guys from just hopping on a plane to Asia on a whim. Therefore they tend to spend several or more months chatting with a girl on a daily basis before they ever go visit her. I know in my case, I can say that my wife and I knew a lot of intimate details about one another before we ever met in person. I already had a pretty good handle on what her personality, values, desires from life, etc were and if they were compatible with mine before I ever actually met her in person. IMHO, that is the real key to a successful one woman trip - communication and a lot of it.

BTW - my only backup plan on my first trip if things did not work out with my now wife was to have a great vacation in Hong Kong. I was not worried about things not working out too much because I felt that I already knew her pretty well and if things did happen to go south then no big deal, I would just enjoy myself in a great place.

[euforia51]

I think that the one thing that makes these one woman trips so successful is the amount of time most of the guys put into really getting to the know the girl before they visit. In most cases visiting Asia is not like visitring LA, the cost and distance prevents most guys from just hopping on a plane to Asia on a whim. Therefore they tend to spend several or more months chatting with a girl on a daily basis before they ever go visit her. I know in my case, I can say that my wife and I knew a lot of intimate details about one another before we ever met in person. I already had a pretty good handle on what her personality, values, desires from life, etc were and if they were compatible with mine before I ever actually met her in person. IMHO, that is the real key to a successful one woman trip - communication and a lot of it.

This entire paragraph pretty much sums up the answer to the OPs question, IMO. You've got to put some time in doing your homework before you step on board an airplane.

Well AndyLee, it sounds like these one hit wonders can only tell you to have a backup plan and carry a rabbits foot in your pocket.It's a complete crap shoot doing it this way.

Actually, I like to leave my rabbits foot at home because it isn't something I am willing to give up in case I get jacked.  

Still, I fall short of seeing the difference between the çomplete crap shoot of dating a number of women vs. taking the time with getting to know just one. Each has it's merits and pitfalls. I believe it all comes down to personal preference. Obviously, not everyone can or wants to be a one-hit-wonder.

For me, I am admittedly lazy and prefer to not put much physical effort into paying for dates and possibly putting up with nonsense from women I know little about. And this makes even less sense to me when talking about flakey women in an already risky country such as Colombia. So, I prefer online and getting to know a woman in more detail as Capstone stated ... through messages, web-cam, and telephone. Perhaps the greatest virtue of this method is it appears to truly test the patience of those in the relationship. And if you have that in this day and age, I'd say you have a very good foundation for going forward.

[whitey]

I think that the one thing that makes these one woman trips so successful is the amount of time most of the guys put into really getting to the know the girl before they visit. In most cases visiting Asia is not like visitring LA, the cost and distance prevents most guys from just hopping on a plane to Asia on a whim. Therefore they tend to spend several or more months chatting with a girl on a daily basis before they ever go visit her. I know in my case, I can say that my wife and I knew a lot of intimate details about one another before we ever met in person. I already had a pretty good handle on what her personality, values, desires from life, etc were and if they were compatible with mine before I ever actually met her in person. IMHO, that is the real key to a successful one woman trip - communication and a lot of it.

BTW - my only backup plan on my first trip if things did not work out with my now wife was to have a great vacation in Hong Kong. I was not worried about things not working out too much because I felt that I already knew her pretty well and if things did happen to go south then no big deal, I would just enjoy myself in a great place.

If you substitute the city of Hong Kong for Barranquilla, this pretty much summarizes my relationship with Nazly and my first trip to meet her.

[Jeff S]

I'm with you Woody. I spent many months in Latin America over many years and over half a dozen countries. I also met and dated many women there, many of whom were wonderful and beautiful. Nonetheless, the culture never "clicked" with me like it did with Asia. Everyone has their own comfort zone.

[utopiacowboy]

     Well AndyLee, it sounds like these one hit wonders can only tell you to have a backup plan and carry a rabbits foot in your pocket.It's a complete crap shoot doing it this way.

                Researcher

One hit wonders? WTF? Are you a polygamist or what?

[Traveler]

Woody,

I don't drink much myself, but I still enjoy Colombia.  I would not say that most of Colombians I have met were drunks.  The only exception was when I went with friends to Santa Fe and stayed overnight.  Well, the town's people seem to continue drinking when they wake up, but frankly there is nothing else to do in those small towns.

Granted, Asians seem to drink a LOT less than either Americans or Latins, or Europeans.  I was in Hong Kong over New Year last year, and in a huge crowd watching fireworks there were maybe 5 or 6 people who were loud and obviously inebriated, and all of them were Western tourists.  (In fact, I was shocked at how relatively few Western tourists were in Hong Kong.)

Also, Muslim girls don't drink, or at least are not supposed to.

[Researcher]

One hit wonders? WTF? Are you a polygamist or what?

    No, but I did date more than one woman when I was looking.


     Researcher

[utopiacowboy]

    No, but I did date more than one woman when I was looking.


     Researcher

So did I, dude.

[Researcher]

So did I, dude.

     Really? I thought you got married right off the plane.


     Researcher

[utopiacowboy]

     Really? I thought you got married right off the plane.


     Researcher

You think she was the first woman I ever met in my life? Or the only one I ever went out with? She was the only one I went to meet on that trip.

After all what is the point of the exercise? To meet hundreds of women? To what end? You can only marry one.

[Bob_S]

...then I will probably make the hard dive into the Japanese dating pool. That, at least, is a culture that I think I mostly understand and actually enjoy. I have been staying away because, in part, I am not a big city person.

You know, not all of Japan is Judge Dredd Megacity (even though it does have the largest Megacity in the world).  If you are looking for a Japanese snow bunny, Nagano would be right up your alley.  A small city (pop. under 400k) famous for winter sports. 

[Woody]

You know, not all of Japan is Judge Dredd Megacity (even though it does have the largest Megacity in the world).  If you are looking for a Japanese snow bunny, Nagano would be right up your alley.  A small city (pop. under 400k) famous for winter sports. 

Well, Bob, if this trip goes south, I may end up heading north next year. Thanks for the tip. Based on the climate data alone, it looks like a fantastic spot for a visit. I may even consider looking for work at Misawa, since that is a location I could easily swing. Weather isnt as nice, but it would let me live in Japan for a few years if I wanted to.

[Researcher]

You think she was the first woman I ever met in my life? Or the only one I ever went out with? She was the only one I went to meet on that trip.

After all what is the point of the exercise? To meet hundreds of women? To what end? You can only marry one.

     I don't know if she was the first woman you have ever talked to or not.Some guys are simply afraid to talk to women.This is probably the reason some guys stick to a one woman trip.

   I never considered talking to and meeting women an "exercise".And to what end? To find the right "one" to marry.Yes, you will only marry one but I wanted to marry the right one. After dating here and having had several relationships I learned that some people just don't belong together and I wasn't going to rely on the internet to make that decision.

   It isn't about marrying a woman, its about marrying the right woman.Sometimes it may be the first one you meet and sometimes it may not be. Having to option to choose from many and not taking the opportunity is just plain silly to me.

        Researcher  

[OrlandoGringo]

Yes, a one woman trip can be successful. 

I spent six months and countless hours communicating with hundreds of latin women until I found my lady.  Her and I were on the webcam together nearly every day for a month before I went to Cartagena in July of 2010 to visit her.  I was highly confident that she was the one for me and my trip there confirmed my confidence.  Last December I returned and put a ring on her finger. 

My advice is that they should be able/willing to invest their time virtually every day talking to you on cam.  If they cannot make that investment of time then you should not invest your time, money and emotions in them further, that is, if you're seeking a serious, monogamous, long-term relationship.   

[Zon]

needle in a hay stack

[whitey]

needle in a hay stack

I don't disagree - I feel very fortunate.  Despite the odds, it's worked very well for many of us here.

[fathertime]

I don't disagree - I feel very fortunate.  Despite the odds, it's worked very well for many of us here.

I'm afraid i'm going to have to agree with whitey on this one!  Apparently there are quite a few needles in the haystack for some of us open minded wife-hunters!

Fathertime!

[OrlandoGringo]

I believe that, generally speaking, guys get out of it what they put into it.

[Researcher]

Still, I fall short of seeing the difference between the çomplete crap shoot of dating a number of women vs. taking the time with getting to know just one. Each has it's merits and pitfalls. I believe it all comes down to personal preference. Obviously, not everyone can or wants to be a one-hit-wonder.

For me, I am admittedly lazy and prefer to not put much physical effort into paying for dates and possibly putting up with nonsense from women I know little about. And this makes even less sense to me when talking about flakey women in an already risky country such as Colombia. So, I prefer online and getting to know a woman in more detail as Capstone stated ... through messages, web-cam, and telephone. Perhaps the greatest virtue of this method is it appears to truly test the patience of those in the relationship. And if you have that in this day and age, I'd say you have a very good foundation for going forward.

            Well Euforia there is a difference. Unless you do like FatherTime and have the assistance of an agency(Whitey also used one I think) then you will be relying totally on internet correspondence to "get to know" the woman you are interested in. Two major flaws here:1)Getting to know someone this way depends alot on how honestly the other person presents themselves.Its too easy to cover up things this way.How do you know that the cyber-person you get to know is the same as the real person you will be meeting, you know the person you will actually be with.
  2)You won't know if there is any chemistry between you until you meet.How many trip reports state that the woman didn't look anything like her pictures?...answer:many. Until you meet in person physical chemistry can't be known.So then what? You return and start all over.

      So, can it work? sure but is it the best approach? nah. IMHO, you can't beat going there and meeting many different women.There is so much more you can tell about a person by meeting them....in person.The only advice for the one hit wonder method is to "do your best to get to know them", I agree with that but how well can you get to know someone in cyberspace? Until you meet them in person to verify they are who you think they are it is just a fantasy.

           Researcher       

[OrlandoGringo]

Researcher, a web cam and many hours on it can differentiate between a legitimate woman and a scammer. 

[Researcher]

Researcher, a web cam and many hours on it can differentiate between a legitimate woman and a scammer. 

       OG, I spent many hours over the years using a webcam with many, many different women.It is not the same as being there in person.This venture is risky enough without adding more uncertainty to it.


         Researcher

[whitey]

Unless you do like FatherTime and have the assistance of an agency(Whitey also used one I think) then you will be relying totally on internet correspondence to "get to know" the woman you are interested in.

Nah, I was just VERY fortunate to stumble on a good thing, realize what I had, and not let it go.

Nazly was introduced to me by a mutual friend.  They had dinner once, remained friends, but weren't a good match for each other.

I was looking for a Spanish/English study partner, and he sent her an email asking if she would be interested.  She said yes, and we corresponded (mostly by email) for 9 months until I was able to visit her the first time.

7 more trips and about a year and a half later, we were married.

[OrlandoGringo]

       OG, I spent many hours over the years using a webcam with many, many different women.It is not the same as being there in person.This venture is risky enough without adding more uncertainty to it.


         Researcher

You are correct.  It's not the same.  But it is a great tool.  Anyway, a discerning person should be able to determine if the person they're camming with might be the one for them.  True, one can't really know until they spend time with them in person.  With that said, many cam sessions will determine if the woman is legitimate and serious and one can really get to know a lot about the other.  In the end, camming is the best and only real tool available short of being there in person.  

[Researcher]

Nah, I was just VERY fortunate to stumble on a good thing, realize what I had, and not let it go.

Nazly was introduced to me by a mutual friend.  They had dinner once, remained friends, but weren't a good match for each other.

I was looking for a Spanish/English study partner, and he sent her an email asking if she would be interested.  She said yes, and we corresponded (mostly by email) for 9 months until I was able to visit her the first time.

7 more trips and about a year and a half later, we were married.

         Aha! so you guys were setup by a mutual friend. Turns out these " one hit wonders" that worked out so far have had some help. Being setup by mutual friends is alot better that meeting someone cold in cyberspace.

        Researcher

[Researcher]

You are correct.  It's not the same.  But it is a great tool.  Anyway, a discerning person should be able to determine if the person they're camming with might be the one for them.  True, one can't really know until they spend time with them in person.  With that said, many cam sessions will determine if the woman is legitimate and serious and one can really get to know a lot about the other.  In the end, camming is the best and only real tool available short of being there in person.  

     I agree completely OG. I am not putting down using a webcam completely because it is useful. But relying on it completely isn't a smart thing to do.Just like you said being there is the best thing.

              Researcher