Can a One Woman Trip be successful?

[Capstone]

needle in a hay stack

It seems to me that making a trip to speed date a bunch of women that you know little or nothing about is more equivalent to looking for a needle in a haystack than is to visit a single woman that you have taken the time and effort to get to know beforehand.

So, can it work? sure but is it the best approach? nah. IMHO, you can't beat going there and meeting many different women.There is so much more you can tell about a person by meeting them....in person.The only advice for the one hit wonder method is to "do your best to get to know them", I agree with that but how well can you get to know someone in cyberspace? Until you meet them in person to verify they are who you think they are it is just a fantasy.

How well can you get to know someone while speed dating through a multitude of women on a single short trip? My guess is that I knew a lot more about my wife before my first trip to visit her than you did about your wife after the trip in which you met her. I do agree with you that you need to actually meet in person in order to verify they are who you think that they are - no doubt about that. But just like with any other endeavor taking the time and having the patience to put in some work beforehand most always results in a more positive outcome.

One must also consider the culture of the country that is being focused on. Staying within the boundaries of what is culturally acceptable will yield much better results than straying outside those boundaries. Speed dating multiple women and more importantly women who participate in such behavior is just not something that is culturally acceptable in many countries. The only women that a guy is likely to attract in such countries are not what most of us would consider to be marriage material. This is the case in many Asian countries where visiting only one woman is in my opinion the best approach.

 
 

[Researcher]

  

       I can't help but think that most guys who rely on the internet completely are Poindexter's who are afraid to talk to women.

       Researcher



                                              

[Researcher]

It seems to me that making a trip to speed date a bunch of women that you know little or nothing about is more equivalent to looking for a needle in a haystack than is to visit a single woman that you have taken the time and effort to get to know beforehand.


How well can you get to know someone while speed dating through a multitude of women on a single short trip? My guess is that I knew a lot more about my wife before my first trip to visit her than you did about your wife after the trip in which you met her. I do agree with you that you need to actually meet in person in order to verify they are who you think that they are - no doubt about that. But just like with any other endeavor taking the time and having the patience to put in some work beforehand most always results in a more positive outcome.

One must also consider the culture of the country that is being focused on. Staying within the boundaries of what is culturally acceptable will yield much better results than straying outside those boundaries. Speed dating multiple women and more importantly women who participate in such behavior is just not something that is culturally acceptable in many countries. The only women that a guy is likely to attract in such countries are not what most of us would consider to be marriage material. This is the case in many Asian countries where visiting only one woman is in my opinion the best approach.

 
 

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                       I disagree. When chatting online you only think you are getting to know someone.

                       I knew all I needed to know about my wife when I met her in person.The chemistry was there.And I didn't waste anytime chatting online to find that out.After meeting several women I knew she was the one, without a doubt.

         Researcher

[OrlandoGringo]

The internet is the only way to meet foreign ladies until one goes to their land.  

[Researcher]

The internet is the only way to meet foreign ladies until one goes to their land.  

  Exactly, so why not go to their land?


    Researcher


   

[fathertime]

I talked with my wife online for a few weeks and decided it was worth it for me to go to Colombia to meet her specifically.  So in that respect I was a one hit wonder BUT I had access to plenty of other ladies if the personal meeting didn't go well (and it almost didn't!)... It is a big risk to visit a foreign land for the purpose of meeting just one lady, but if a man has a workable backup plan, I think that is the best of both worlds.

Use of the internet really was helpful for me because there was a little comfort level built up prior to meeting my wife.  It is a different ballgame for those guys who are communicating via internet for 6 months or a year prior to ever meeting their lady...for me, I just wasn't into that.  If I were broke, I'd borrow money to visit the lady before communicating for that lengthy a period of time!

Fathertime!

[whitey]

         Aha! so you guys were setup by a mutual friend. Turns out these " one hit wonders" that worked out so far have had some help. Being setup by mutual friends is alot better that meeting someone cold in cyberspace.

        Researcher

Haha ... true ... but he found her on amigos.com originally ...  

I can't take ANY credit for finding Nazly, other than being open-minded and having the desire to begin learning Spanish ...

[OrlandoGringo]

  Exactly, so why not go to their land?


    Researcher


   

I did, after I cammed with her for a month.   

[Researcher]

I talked with my wife online for a few weeks and decided it was worth it for me to go to Colombia to meet her specifically.  So in that respect I was a one hit wonder BUT I had access to plenty of other ladies if the personal meeting didn't go well (and it almost didn't!)... It is a big risk to visit a foreign land for the purpose of meeting just one lady, but if a man has a workable backup plan, I think that is the best of both worlds.

Use of the internet really was helpful for me because there was a little comfort level built up prior to meeting my wife.  It is a different ballgame for those guys who are communicating via internet for 6 months or a year prior to ever meeting their lady...for me, I just wasn't into that.  If I were broke, I'd borrow money to visit the lady before communicating for that lengthy a period of time!

Fathertime!

           FT, you don't count as a one hit wonder.If you had a backup plan then you could have met other women if the one you went to see didn't work out. Having a backup plan is something I would recommend if someone goes to visit one woman.


          Researcher

[Researcher]

Haha ... true ... but he found her on amigos.com originally ...  

I can't take ANY credit for finding Nazly, other than being open-minded and having the desire to begin learning Spanish ...

   But still Whitey the fact remains you didn't just meet her cold and start from scratch.You also didn't rush into anything.... very smart.


       Researcher

[Researcher]

I did, after I cammed with her for a month.   

   Good move OG. Even though I don't put much faith in the online thing there is no need in wasting time chatting once you decide she is worth meeting in person. I wouldn't spend months on end chatting with a woman.It would be a waste if you found out she wasn't who you thought she was.


        Researcher

[OrlandoGringo]

I wouldn't spend months chatting before going to meet her but I was willing to invest a month before spending several thousand dollars and ten days to go visit.  Rest assured, if things had gone south I would have wasted no time in becoming acquainted with other women while I was there in person. 

Some young stud in his 20's with no attachments could easily go live there and find a plethora of lovely ladies to court.  Now THAT would have been fun, back in the day before I got fat and semi-bald.   

[Capstone]

I disagree. When chatting online you only think you are getting to know someone.
I knew all I needed to know about my wife when I met her in person.The chemistry was there.And I didn't waste anytime chatting online to find that out.After meeting several women I knew she was the one, without a doubt.

Neither did I, none of my chatting was a waste of time - on the contrary it was very fruitful. The groundwork that I had laid beforehand resulted in me only having to make one trip to confirm. I did not have to speed date through a hoard of women to find that out. How much time did you actually spend with your wife during that first visit? I am still pretty certain that I knew much more about my wife prior to my first visit than you did about your wife after your first visit.

And what is up with this 'one hit wonder' term that is being thrown around as a negative? When did doing something right on the first attempt become a negative? I for one, take being called a 'one hit wonder' as a compliment.

It has been proven out that both methods will work - it just depends on how each is executed and the country.

[Researcher]

    But just because it has worked for a few doesn't mean it will work for many.I probably spent about 4 or 5 days in person with my wife on my first trip meeting her. I remember spending the first of 2 weeks meeting women and the second week with her.I didn't have to wonder what she looked like in person or many other things like that. I also knew what kind of in person chemistry we had which, to me, is more important than anything you can learn about someone online.

    The other guys here, that are supposed one hit wonders, had backup plans.Probably because they knew how unreliable and a waste going to meet one woman can be. I look at it like this:I can spend the money for one trip to meet many women or I can spend the money for many trips to meet them one at a time.It doesn't make sense to make many trips. The guys who like this one hit wonder method got lucky, IMHO.There are guys out there that are not going to be so lucky and end up learning the hard way what a waste of time, money and effort it is to meet one woman at a time.


      Researcher

[Jeff S]

Got that Cap? Overseas traveling is a waste of time unless you have lots of women waiting for you when you arrive.

[Researcher]

Got that Cap? Overseas traveling is a waste of time unless you have lots of women waiting for you when you arrive.

    Damn straight Jeff S. It seems many of these one hit wonders had backup plans so everyone knows what a gamble it is. So it doesn't make sense to put all your eggs in one basket.

      Researcher

[Capstone]

But just because it has worked for a few doesn't mean it will work for many.I probably spent about 4 or 5 days in person with my wife on my first trip meeting her. I remember spending the first of 2 weeks meeting women and the second week with her.I didn't have to wonder what she looked like in person or many other things like that. I also knew what kind of in person chemistry we had which, to me, is more important than anything you can learn about someone online.

    The other guys here, that are supposed one hit wonders, had backup plans.Probably because they knew how unreliable and a waste going to meet one woman can be. I look at it like this:I can spend the money for one trip to meet many women or I can spend the money for many trips to meet them one at a time.It doesn't make sense to make many trips. The guys who like this one hit wonder method got lucky, IMHO.There are guys out there that are not going to be so lucky and end up learning the hard way what a waste of time, money and effort it is to meet one woman at a time.

What exactly are you basing this statement on that it has only worked for a few and will not work for many? It has worked for pretty much all the guys on the Asian board and many guys on the Latin board have said they only visited one woman and were very successful. I have also already pointed out that I post on a Chinese immigration board with over 5000 members who all are either married or engaged - it isn't a 'how to a meet a girl' board but rather a 'I have met that special girl, now what do I do get her to the US' type board. Almost every one of those guys met their girls via a one woman visit.

From what I have seen on this board, most guys who employ the visit multiple girls method are usually not successful on the first trip, it takes several trips before they meet the right woman for them - so your argument of  " I can spend the money for one trip to meet many women or I can spend the money for many trips to meet them one at a time. It doesn't make sense to make many trips" really is pretty moot. Did you meet your wife on your first trip to Colombia? I met my wife on my first trip to China but wasn't too stressed out about if things did not work out - I would have enjoyed a great vacation.

[Capstone]

Got that Cap? Overseas traveling is a waste of time unless you have lots of women waiting for you when you arrive.

Yea, enjoying a nice vacation in a great location is a total waste of time.

[OrlandoGringo]

One other benefit of knowing them more intimately is that when you get there they're ready to be very intimate with you on day one, if you catch my drift.   

[Bob_S]

I may even consider looking for work at Misawa, since that is a location I could easily swing. Weather isnt as nice, but it would let me live in Japan for a few years if I wanted to.

Near the Air Base?  The weather of the Tohoku region is pretty bleak by Japanese standards, but you are fairly close to a lot of ski resorts for weekend trips.

As I see it, you have two choices in your pursuit if you want not only a wife but a companion:
1.  Find a nice girl who likes you and hope she can adapt to your hobbies.  JM is basically doing that, hoping his fiancée will grow to enjoy sailing with him.
2.  Go to where there are large groups of women who are into your hobby already and hope you can find one that likes you.

Now, the Phils is not exactly world-renown for world class ski resorts, so slim chance of finding a pinay who is active in snow sports, but they do have a reputation of being highly adaptable.  Find a gal spunky enough, outgoing and energetic, and she may take to it quick enough if you give her a chance.
Though the nice thing about actually living in Japan is, if things go sour with any girl you made contact with, you have basically the whole country as your back-up plan!

[Researcher]

What exactly are you basing this statement on that it has only worked for a few and will not work for many? It has worked for pretty much all the guys on the Asian board and many guys on the Latin board have said they only visited one woman and were very successful. I have also already pointed out that I post on a Chinese immigration board with over 5000 members who all are either married or engaged - it isn't a 'how to a meet a girl' board but rather a 'I have met that special girl, now what do I do get her to the US' type board. Almost every one of those guys met their girls via a one woman visit.

From what I have seen on this board, most guys who employ the visit multiple girls method are usually not successful on the first trip, it takes several trips before they meet the right woman for them - so your argument of  " I can spend the money for one trip to meet many women or I can spend the money for many trips to meet them one at a time. It doesn't make sense to make many trips" really is pretty moot. Did you meet your wife on your first trip to Colombia? I met my wife on my first trip to China but wasn't too stressed out about if things did not work out - I would have enjoyed a great vacation.

     And what about David and Maria from the Lisa Ling special? I didn't see him making many trips but he did meet more that one woman.

   As far as the guys here on this board, I don't consider them the run of the mill one hit wonders. There is more to it than that. FT used an agency, whitey was setup...neither met these women cold on the internet. And nearly all of them had backup plans.So I bet if we knew the details of all these straw men you are talking about they wouldn't be one hit wonders either.

   I used the internet myself but as OG stated it is just a tool.I didn't rely on it completely and it is foolish to do so.But then I'm one of those nerds who isn't afraid to talk to a real live woman.


                                                      

                             Researcher

[Researcher]

Yea, enjoying a nice vacation in a great location is a total waste of time.

                  Compared to enjoying a nice vacation meeting women...yes it is a waste of time.




                         Researcher

[Researcher]

One other benefit of knowing them more intimately is that when you get there they're ready to be very intimate with you on day one, if you catch my drift.   

    OG, if you are referring to a woman getting "intimate" on a webcam before she ever meets you,well, that's equal to having sex on the first date to me.I wouldn't go for a woman that did that.Some guys may be OK with it but I didn't have sex on the first date either.


            Researcher

[Researcher]

         I can see where using the one hit wonder may be good for some people.Those that are really shy comes to mind. So, are there any tips you internet Romeos can offer someone who wants to go about this? So far all you guys can say is get to know the woman.Well guys, how do you go about doing that? Maybe it can benefit someone.

      Researcher

[thekfc]

What exactly are you basing this statement on that it has only worked for a few and will not work for many? It has worked for pretty much all the guys on the Asian board and many guys on the Latin board have said they only visited one woman and were very successful.

I only went to see one woman.
My back-up plan was to enjoy the location, the food, the culture & the people.......things I did get to do & experience.

I am already planning another "vacation" with my wife - not sure when it will be or if it will be this year.