Here we go red, green, violet, blue flags

[Gato4Astrid]

  No man cares about V-day.  It's a fake, made up holiday.  They do it to please women.

I do !!!

[ignorante]

First one I have ever heard of - does your novia read this site?   

[robert angel]

Re:

I, personally, don't care at all about Valentine's Day. I recognize that it is important to women, so I capitulate. It earns me points, shows I care about her, and is little effort on my part.
                                                                  &
  No man cares about V-day.  It's a fake, made up holiday.  They do it to please women.

Well, well--I think it's a concocted, over commercialized holiday, like so many are. I don't really think that anniversary dates, v. days or even my birthday, are worth taking special note of.

BUT my wife, most certainly does and I think most women in most countries do also. So if you wanna keep em happy, we just have to 'roll with it'.

My wife, who is 'close' to very few friends outside of family, must track over 100 person's birthdays. Days before--sometimes more than a week, she starts reminding me to call my parents, siblings, etc. It's a big deal to her and it hardly costs a dime, so I go along.

[robert angel]

Commercialization of holidays is just getting worse. We now have Halloween  and Easter 'seasons' and I'm sure they'll eventually do that with other holidays.

Then again, they're showing previews of Christmas release movies and selling a few '2012' model cars already.

[piglett]

 All men over the age of 16 know how important valentine's day is to the opposite sex.  Just short of nuclear war or some major natural disaster, a guy would at least say Happy Valentine's Day on the actual day! 

i guess i am not all men, didn't know that they had valentines day there so i didn't mention it to the wife ....maybe i screwed up???

p i g

[piglett]

Bob,

I chat with my sweetie every day, haven't missed one yet. 

Zulu

I text my wife every day , but we don't chat every day
she doesn't have a computer & the time difference make it tough

pig

[Gato4Astrid]

I text my wife every day , but we don't chat every day
she doesn't have a computer & the time difference make it tough
pig

Tell me about it     5 hours time difference between UK and Colombia, but I am not looking forward to next month when the clock in UK will go 1 hour forward!   

[Bob_S]

Bob,
I chat with my sweetie every day, haven't missed one yet. 

5 times a day?  Do you bombard her with 150 messages if she disappears for a weekend?

Whenever we were separated for an extended period of time, my wife and I would always try to write a letter, a card, or just a short note every single day.

Yes, but
1.  You were married at the time?, so it is expected of a good husband and wife or at least fiance and fiancée.
2.  For both you and your better half, your efforts were appreciated and reciprocated.
This guy Indaycare was writing did not appreciate or reciprocate her efforts.

Hey, I'm nobody's kuya.  I'm just some baka oyaji on the far side of the planet.  But I do have a daughter.  And if she were old enough to have a cell phone, and I found out she was texting some boy half a dozen times a day and calling him a hundred times on the weekend, I'd take away her cell phone.  It's behavior unbecoming of a young lady.  If she comes across as easy and desperate, she will never meet a young man who puts in the effort to show he is worthy of her and will treat her with the respect she deserves.  That means him putting in some effort to maintain contact, not leaving it all to her.  And him remembering those special occasions (birthdays, St. Valentine's Day, Christmas, but NOT the anniversary of their first kiss or first date because that's chick stuff and unfair to expect a man to remember).  That is ultimately what triggered my daddy guardian lion instinct.  Indaycare was putting in all (or almost all) the effort to keep in touch and her penpal was just leaching off her effort to fill his ego and not showing any appreciation for it, not valuing her effort.  He clearly didn't respect her.  (Maybe he was just some jack-off in his mom's basement who doesn't know how to deal with real girls?)  So dumping him was the right thing.

But going forward, how to avoid this same situation in the future?  I stand by my original post, don't be texting or calling a half dozen times a day, at least not before you meet in person OR if he's not reciprocating with a roughly equal number of messages.  If he sends 4 or 5 to your 5 or 6, that's not so bad.  But if you're sending 5 or 6 to his 1 or 2, that is bad.

i guess i am not all men, didn't know that they had valentines day there so i didn't mention it to the wife ....maybe i screwed up???

Be warned.  Everyone knows about the catholic holiday, The Day of St. Valentine's Martyrdom, even in Shinto Japan.  Be afraid, be very afraid.   

[jm21-2]

I can understand if a guy drops off the face of the earth for a weekend, that his girlfriend would make a lot of attempts to try to get hold of him. If I am out of cell phone range for a day or more and not online or anything, my fiance freaks out. It's only happened once or twice when I was out boating and out of cell phone range, or I ran out of batteries on my phone. BUT, this never happened until after we had met in person and started dating. It sounded like indaycare had just started chatting with this guy and they had not met in person. Before we met in person we chatted for a very long time but it was definitely not an every day thing and neither of us got freaked out if we didn't talk for a while. Until you actually meet in person the relationship is not really boyfriend/girlfriend.

[Jhengsman]

i guess i am not all men, didn't know that they had valentines day there so i didn't mention it to the wife ....maybe i screwed up???

p i g

They are more likely to wish you a "happy Heart's Day". Among the other stuff that goes on Mayors hold mass weddings for those couples who have been living together. Many who have been waiting for their "legal spouse" to die.

[z_k_g]

5 times a day?  Do you bombard her with 150 messages if she disappears for a weekend?

Bob,

We both have yahoo messenger on our cell phones, so we chat on a continual basis, plus we talk on voice/cam on the computer a few times a week and she updates her fb every few days with pictures of what she and her friends and family are doing.

Its pretty free flowing and there are no requirements or demands that we do this but I enjoy the interaction and its actually fun.

She has never "disappeared" for a weekend or even a day since I met her.

Zulu

[Researcher]

True, not all men are the same.  Some are regular guys, and some are gay men hiding in the closet who use women so they appear straight but really have the soul of a woman and like to do womanly things like be chatty and shop for clothes.  So you have a choice: do you want a real man someday, or do you want a gay husband you can chat with like a girl friend?

       Hehehe, I wouldn't doubt that Bob but alot of times when two people are in love they can't get enough of one another. I've been in that state before and still seem to be with my wife. To guys that aren't in that place it does seem rather gay. That's why guys don't like to say" I love you" to their women on the phone in front of their friends. They know they will be laughed at.

     The trouble can come when one person is in love and the other isn't so much. The one that is head over heels looks insane and in some ways....they are temporarily!!

     Researcher

[indaycare]

who said 150 messages. i hope people read before they posted comments huh? it was 150 calls for 9 days his disappeared. i admit i freak out something might could happened to him. i hope you understand the feelings... the person disappeared without saying anything. this is the person i care the most and i admit in that short amount of time we talked... I'm already in love can you blame me on that? to add that he keep telling me that he feel the same "his in love too"

[kragen]

Assuming you sleep 8 hours a day, you called him every almost every hour you were awake for 9 days. There is nothing here, you two are chat mates nothing more. He is really not that much into  you...you aren't much of a challenge. Go slow, don't call or email so much.

[indaycare]

Assuming you sleep 8 hours a day, you called him every almost every hour you were awake for 9 days. There is nothing here, you two are chat mates nothing more. He is really not that much into  you...you aren't much of a challenge. Go slow, don't call or email so much.

Not into me? before that we talked like 5 to 6 hours everyday. and now his begging to talk to me hmmmmm i don't think so!

[indaycare]

First post... hmmmmm do we have another faker here?  just to squeeze my nose LMBO!

[Bob_S]

I'm already in love can you blame me on that? to add that he keep telling me that he feel the same "his in love too"

I know, it's okay.  You may not believe this, but some of us old farts have been there, too: fallen in love with a photo, a chat pal, some e-mails, only to have it all fall apart when (if) we meet in person.     So we are here to give advice from our experience.  Guard your heart carefully, because until you meet in person, you really don't know what you have, and it is unfair to put expectations on each other.  He may be writing to other girls, and he doesn't know if you are writing to other guys.  That's just how it is.

[indaycare]

I know, it's okay.  You may not believe this, but some of us old farts have been there, too: fallen in love with a photo, a chat pal, some e-mails, only to have it all fall apart when (if) we meet in person.     So we are here to give advice from our experience.  Guard your heart carefully, because until you meet in person, you really don't know what you have, and it is unfair to put expectations on each other.  He may be writing to other girls, and he doesn't know if you are writing to other guys.  That's just how it is.

yeah right!

[piglett]

I know, it's okay.  You may not believe this, but some of us old farts have been there, too: fallen in love with a photo, a chat pal, some e-mails, only to have it all fall apart when (if) we meet in person.     So we are here to give advice from our experience.  Guard your heart carefully, because until you meet in person, you really don't know what you have, and it is unfair to put expectations on each other.  He may be writing to other girls, and he doesn't know if you are writing to other guys.  That's just how it is.

I sent a message to ywo differen ladies because i didn't figure both would respond ....guess what they both did. so for a short time ( a month or 2) I was chatting with 2 ladies so i does happen.

pig

[kragen]

Really not a faker, just trying to give you a man's point of view. If we really like a woman we don't disappear for that length of time. Unless he lives in a cave, access to email is pretty easy i.e. friends house,library or coffeeshop. Since he sooo into you when is he coming to visit?

[indaycare]

Really not a faker, just trying to give you a man's point of view. If we really like a woman we don't disappear for that length of time. Unless he lives in a cave, access to email is pretty easy i.e. friends house,library or coffeeshop. Since he sooo into you when is he coming to visit?

suppose to be in april but i lose interest. I DON'T WANT HIM ANYMORE!

[Ray]

suppose to be in april but i lose interest. I DON'T WANT HIM ANYMORE!

Good for you Day!

Don't ever sell yourself short and don't settle for half a man when you can have a whole one...

Here, send him a shirt for his birthday:

 

Ray   

[Ray]

...didn't know that they had valentines day there so i didn't mention it to the wife ....maybe i screwed up???

p i g

Oh boy! You're dead meat now piglett! Consider yourself lechon...

[z_k_g]

Oh boy! You're dead meat now piglett! Consider yourself lechon...

Ray,

I want the boots!!!

Zulu

[indaycare]

Oh boy! You're dead meat now piglett! Consider yourself lechon...