Looking for input

[Bob_S]

As far as Dave H is concerned, so far I think he is just an urban legen here because I have not seen hide nor hair of the man.

He posts pretty often when he can.  He may be experiencing a blackout or server problems.  Or a typhoon washed him and his nipa hut out to see.  We'll hear from him again when he floats within wi-fi distance of Hawaii.

[Ray]

I would make sure that there was one hell of a big ditch further up the hill so the water would run down it.
also a couple of good stout retaining walls further up the hill might not be a bad plan either.

piglett

6" pipes? French drains?

I guess you guys have never been to the Philippines during the rainy season. LOL!

Pig, here's some ideas for your stout retaining wall and big ditch...









 

[robert angel]

Bob_S,

Re:

>>Do you see that teenager sitting next to Robert in his profile pic?  She's actually 50!  I'm tellin' ya.  He's been arrested twice for lewd behavior with a minor for engaging in smoochie PDA's with his wife at the mall.<<

Lordy Momma--all I can say is that I'm glad I can't read people's minds! Let's just say her Mom's in her 50's. (And looks younger too)

People--including people higher up in the food chain work wise who could effect our job status, as well as people in general--have been amazingly cool, often asking me "How's your wife?--she's so wonderful.." Sometimes saying the same to her--telling her good things about me as well and being very congenial.

I am sure people sometimes say things behind our backs--that's sadly human nature.

The only "May--November' type snotty comments we've overheard have been from total strangers--and they've been very few. A couple catty Filipinas, from wenches not worth an old fishbone, have made veiled comments, but considering the source--unhappy women--it's nothing.

The Filipinas--really almost all women and their desire to have babies, sooner or later, is very, very real. It's something my wife and I agonized over. I think all women are always aware to varying extents, that their 'biological clock'--their window for bearing a child, is ticking and if she's not really concerned about it now--it's quite possible she will be later, especially if your marriage comes into some rough times down the line. That 'ticking' can get louder and louder until it's about all she hears--especially if you're not getting along well.


It's part of the reason why I tell some guys not to rule out marrying a younger woman who has a child, if she's really a good woman. Chances are--if he takes them both in and loves that child like a good father, that'll it will make their marriage stronger, I think.

[piglett]

6" pipes? French drains?
I guess you guys have never been to the Philippines during the rainy season. LOL!
Pig, here's some ideas for your stout retaining wall and big ditch...
 

Are you saying that in mite tend to get just a bit damp there


pig

[Dave H]

Hey Ken,

Welcome back! I sent you an IM.

Can a guy live well there for a limited amount of money?  I have a retirement now, above average but not huge numbers like I earned before.

YES, As Ray stated. "You can live quite comfortably on $1,500-$2,000/month."

Where would be a good place to live there?  Not looking for an urban lifestyle that is go go go and if a beach front is involved GREAT!

Any input into living there would be appreciated greatly.

I like Bohol. Beautiful beaches, not too expensive yet, close to a major city (Cebu - 30 minutes away by Super Cat Ferry).

Any info regarding medical care and costs there would also be very helpful to me.  I am fine now, but after my past episodes I need to be more concerned now.

Medical care in the Philippines is usually on a cash basis. It is cheaper than in the US, but your US health insurance probably will not be accepted. PhilHealth insurance is cheap and pays a small portion of hospitalizations and associated doctor fees. Worth having in my opinion. Regular doctor visits and checkups are cheap. My cardiologist charges me P300 (about $6) with a 12 lead EKG.  P200 or less (free last time) for a consultation. High tech health care is available in larger cities. Several months ago, I had surgery performed that used the latest high tech equipment, even more advanced than what most US facilities are currently using.  

Not to ruffle any PC feathers here, but are these women as compliant as they appear?  I mean I am in shock coming from the high maintenance RW.[/b]

Yes...until you piss them off !   A common expression that you will hear here is "It's up to you!" Which sounds good...but really means "I will let you decide, but you'd better do the right thing!"  

I guess that is a good start for now.  I am planning on a visit most probably in N

Good Luck!

Dave

[Dave H]

Anyone got any inside info on Cagayan De Oro?

KenC

Great city! I go there a few times a month...great doctor, nice malls and housing developments...crazy drivers (especially the jeepneys!) That is about all I know.

I really wasn't MIA, I just had too limb out from under my rock. 

Dave

[Dave H]

Bad idea!

Most Filipinos killed from typhoons usually die in mud slides caused by the heavy rains.

You do not want to be half way up on a hillside or below one unless you want to get buried alive.

Ray

True! Sometimes we can't eat certain types of fish for a month or so because people on other islands have been swept into the sea by mudslides...

Fortunately, I live below the typhoon belt and am surrounded by mountains on 3 sides. If one heads this far south, it usually breaks up trying to go over the mountains.

We do get some nice monsoon rains. I love the rain...but I live on flat ground in an area that is much higher than the river, have a house roof that doesn't leak, a 4X4 truck, a big umbrella, a raincoat, very tall boots, an inflatable rubber boat, am an avid swimmer, and stand well over 5 feet tall. 

Dave

[z_k_g]

It's part of the reason why I tell some guys not to rule out marrying a younger woman who has a child, if she's really a good woman. Chances are--if he takes them both in and loves that child like a good father, that'll it will make their marriage stronger, I think.

Good point!!

Zulu

[piglett]

YES, As Ray stated. "You can live quite comfortably on $1,500-$2,000/month."
Dave

i think it really also depends on the type of lifestyle you intend to lead.
will you have 2 new BMW's & the insurance & maintenance on those?
will you have 3 or 4 people working for you maids, cook, etc. etc. ?
will you be paying payments on anything or will you move to the PI. & have zero debt?
there are probably 1000 different things that will add or subtract to the amount of money you need to live the lifestyle that you desire.
also how much do you plan on loaning/giving to your wife's family each month?


pig

[Dave H]

Hey pig,

Maintenance on a new BMW's isn't too bad in the Philippines
...since many Hugo parts are interchangeable with BMW's and hand-made parts can always be "crafted."   An expression that is quite popular here, "That's good enough!"  


Sure you could live on considerably less or more. I can live "quite comfortably on $1,500-$2,000/month."

If you have children, you will have more expenses. For an outstanding education, you will likely enroll them in a  private school. Tuition ranges from about $30 per month to well over $1000).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_School_Manila

If you buy on credit, you may have high interest payments on an Aircon or 2, a TV, ref, motorcycle, etc. You may have a rent payment, electricity, water, telephone, Internet, cellphone, etc. You could easily go through $1000 per month amount without owning a BMW, a Tamaraw FX, or even a Rolls Canardly.

Household help is quite cheap (usually $25-$100 per month, with $40 being about average where I live). Some people don't pay anything...even though slavery is illegal here...unless, perhaps you wear a cap without a brim.  But, "live in" help can often be more problematic than beneficial! IMHO, it is better to hire people on an "as needed" basis. I

Dave

A sweet Rolls Canardly Coupé that I have my eyes on.  

[piglett]

Hey pig,

Sure you could live on considerably less or more. I can live "quite comfortably on $1,500-$2,000/month."
If you buy on credit, you may have high interest payments on an Aircon or 2, a TV, ref, motorcycle, etc. You may have a rent payment, electricity, water, telephone, Internet, cellphone, etc. You could easily go through $1000 per month amount without owning a BMW, a Tamaraw FX, or even a Rolls Canardly.
Dave
A sweet Rolls Canardly Coupé that I have my eyes on.  

well that is another thing if you intend to buy a bunch of sh*t that you don't really need on credit then your
already setting yourself up for trouble down the road

Dave that sure is a sweet ride there
how about a set of spinner hubcaps to add to it's already "good" looks?

pig

[Jedironin]

^Those new hybrid gas/electrics are really becoming popular! 

[KenC]

OK guys, now for the next step in all this.  What is your recommendation on how to proceed?  Is it a case of "do it yourself" in the RP?  What I mean is are you on your own to arrange a trip?  Is it all visit one?  Or can you get away with visit many?  Should I just book a room in a hotel and line up a number of dates?  Go there and play the field?  Are there any local guides you would rec comend?

My personal thoughts are that only a fool would go through all the trouble and expense to visit only one woman "met" on the Net.  (Been on too many 5 min dates here in the states)  You just never "know" until you are face to face IMO.  I'm not looking to just play around, but truly get to know a few women and then get to serious.

When I went to Russia, I used an agency and all the women knew the drill.  t sounds cold, but in meeting many women just for a short time, it was easy to figure out which is any I was interested in pursuing.  As it turned out, I did end up marrying the one woman I was most interested in from the beginning.  But I also saw the value in getting to know other Russian women too.  Doing so made the one stand out from the rest and kind of negated the mystic of the Russian thang.  Getting involved with the Asian culture is new to me now.  I do not want to fall for the first RP women I meet just because she exhibits traits common to most.  I hope you all understand where I am coming from and have some suggestions.

BTW, I came across my first scammer too.  A hot bod 29 year old that fell in love with me immediately.  Just happened to have an open visa to come to the states, but was just a little short on her airfare.
KenC

[Jedironin]

KenC- Lots of good advice in this thread concerning travelling and meeting several people:  http://www.planet-love.com/forum/index.php?topic=5666.0

I'd guess the RW are different in that regard, but I wouldn't know because the only Russians I found online were scammers.    Good eye spotting the one already, by the way. 

Best of Luck in your search! I have an account on DateInAsia, and it seems to be mostly Pinay's on that one. (Not that it's a bad thing!  ) I have already made one, maybe two friends, so I'm trying to be careful and learn more about them. I'm personally more familiar with Japanese culture, so I also just joined JapanCupid. Nothing to report from there yet...  One of my two friends on DIA is quite interesting, though, so who knows what the future holds?

I also just found this thread, with more good info. about the Philippines!  http://www.planet-love.com/forum/index.php?topic=5340.0 

[fathertime]

KenC,

if i understand correctly most of the men married to asian women, seem to think that juggling multiple women during a trip is not a good idea.  Personally I agree with you though, it would be difficult for me to see just one woman and take the first one I meet.  I'd want more exposure to the whole scene to better understand the landscape.  If money/time isn't too tight, perhaps your first trip should be more of a fun thing and just meeting the women you talked with on the internet casually.  After that, you might be able to ascertain what you are seeking, with a little more clarity.

Fathertime!   

[Ray]

My personal thoughts are that only a fool would go through all the trouble and expense to visit only one woman...

 

You can call me a fool if you wish, but I’m very happily married and going on 11 years now. And I did exactly what you consider foolish.   

Note: The Philippines is not Russia.

Good luck!

Ray

[Jeff S]

Me too, coming up on 25 years.

[KenC]

Guys,
Please do not take what I said as an insult because I certainly did not intend it that way. 

I have gone through literally hundreds of debates on WMVM vs. WOVO on RWD.(write one/many visit one/many)  To each his own and God bless those who have succeeded through ANY method.  OK? 

For ME, I would much rather go through a selection process face to face rather than via the net.
KenC

[jm21-2]

If either of the girls I met had known I was going on dates with other girls, wow would they have been pissed. And it would be a little hard considering I was staying at relatives' houses with the first one and stayed in the same hotel room (separate beds) with the second one (now my fiance). These girls have high expectations and if you go to visit them expect to spend basically all of your time with them. One thing I've noticed is that many/most of the guys on the Asian board have little or no belief in "chemistry," which makes the process much easier.

If you are happy with a girl what does it matter how she compares to the rest? There will always be some point where the grass looks greener somewhere else.

I think you can find plenty of girls from various countries that don't want children. Sounds more difficult in the PI though. The birth rates in many Asian countries are very low. A lot of girls in their 20's and 30's from all countries have jumped on the "humans are destroying the earth" band wagon, have their careers, and aren't nearly as eager to have children. Or look for an older woman who has grown children as suggested.

[Jeff S]

No offense taken at all, Ken, and I'm sure, you've had many great conversations about whether to visit one or many on the Russian board. The pros and cons of doing that in the FSU would probably carry over well to Latin America also, but we're talking Asia here. We're not in Kansas any more. Things there are different!

As jm correctly points out, if it looks like you're on a shopping expedition, good Asian women will not only be pissed, but will consider it highly offensive. In some parts of Asia being considered rude is far worse than being considered a liar or cheat. You'll lose the best ones right away. As some of the women posters here who have ended up with great guys have posted - if you show up with any agenda other than visiting them alone, they have no time for you.

Look at it this way. If you have X months and Y dollars to get an unpleasant task over with, well go on a shopping expedition, single out the pick of the litter and be done with it. If you're looking for a life partner, you have to approach it that it will take as long as it takes, and start enjoying the journey. You'll arrive at the destination soon enough.

Just my two yen worth.

- Jeff

[thekfc]

This is what I did:

After extensive chats with Ahya & just about every member of her family, I decided to make the trip. Originally it was going to be a 2 country trip (PI & HK - HK was going to be a get together with friends).

I canceled the HK trip & reschedule my vacation to go to the PI. On my return trip back to NYC, I did a stopover in HK & got to see some of my friends.

I have taken 2 trips so far this year. On my first trip, Ahya rented a 2 bedroom house for me around the corner from her. And on the second trip, I stayed at her home.  Both saved me a lot of $$ by not staying at a hotel. PLUS, (a big plus) I got to experience daily, local life in PI. Although my stays were short - the experiences were enormous.

Ahya was the only one I went there to see & if things didn't work out, my back-up plans were to enjoy the food, culture, place, people & learn all that I can.

[Bob_S]

For ME, I would much rather go through a selection process face to face rather than via the net.

I hear you.  I did the agency thing in St. Pete back in the day.  And there's an efficiency to it as long as everyone understands the situation.  Guys go to meet multiple girls, and girls are meeting multiple guys.  But it doesn't play well in the Far East.  If that's what you're up for, in all seriousness, maybe you could try this?
http://www.tokyospeeddating.com/
http://www.matchmaker.com/mm/speed-dating/japan-tokyo15.htm
http://planetvalentino.com/  <---(may no longer be active, but useful tips for the process)

No long term correspondence.  Meet and decide if you want to keep meeting later.  Had a coworker who did this.  He got a few dates out of it, but nothing long term.  YMMV.

[KenC]

I have heard all the "picking a puppy" arguments of meeting many women as opposed to just one, but everyone here went through a selection process of some kind or another.  Deciding which woman or women to pursue can be done on line without benefit of meeting them personally, which is far more arbitrary IMO than after actually spending time one on one.

With due respect to those who are much more knowledgable in the Asian ways than I, is there such a thing as playing the field while IN RP?  How about if I resist getting too in deeply involved prior to going?  Keeping it on a friendship like basis until after meeting?  Just asking.
KenC

[jm21-2]

I was watching the first episode of "An Idiot Abroad" last night, set in China, and it gave a really good impression of life in China. Even though things worked out pretty miserably with the girl I met, we spent the whole trip together, had some good times as well as bad, and I was able to experience a fascinating culture from the inside. It will make for good stories the rest of my life and really made me think about how we do things here. Thailand and Taiwan were great as well. Even the one day I had in Japan was great. And what was the cost? Some time and I drive an old car instead of a newer one...not too great a price to pay. That's three 10-14 day trips. It's not too hard to afford. If a guy can't afford a few trips to Asia I question whether he can support a wife. The car I'm going to buy my fiance will be more expensive than all my trips combined, for starters.

If you haven't been to Asia before, it is so different from the west that just going on a short trip there can really broaden your horizons. At least the countries I've been to. It's well worth it, and if the girl doesn't work out, you have a fun exciting trip with a friend (her) and then move on and try again.

But the good girls really will expect you to be there to visit them and them alone and you will hurt them as well as their reputation quite a bit if you go there with the intent of meeting other girls. Friendship and romance are much closer than in the west, so they expect if you get along over the internet, you will get along in person. The girls I've chatted with were not looking for prince charming to dash them away, they were looking for someone they loved to talk with and who they could grow old with. I'm not sure that any of them cared much about 'chemistry'. They care about "is he a player," "does he visit prostitutes," "will he be faithful to me," and similar questions. They want you to show commitment and make them feel safe. Meeting other girls greatly undermines that.

You could certainly play the field more if you were living there. Not sure if they would take you seriously if you told them you were just on vacation though. But maybe meet someone and plan to re-visit.

[robert angel]

KenC,


I recommend you pursue this without rushing. I had three girls whom I focused on one at a time and yes, it was expensive doing it that way, but I am still friends with all of them to this day--it's a little different with the third--we're married.

I won't lie to you--I spent a lot of intense time in chat rooms and private messaging on cam with more girls than I can remember, over the course of over five years.

I had--have a lot of Filipina Yahoo 'friends' but five years later--really six years later, it's amazing how almost all their yahoo lights no longer light up--they changed, dropped their profiles, got married, whatever.

Only a very small core remain. The two ladies before my wife even chatted with her after we became engaged and gave us their blessing. Heck--they're even facebook friends--I don't do 'facebook'--maybe someday I will, I really haven't decided.

Anyways--if by chance, I had been wrong on my homework and one of those women had turned out to be a monster, I had enough yahoo Filipina friends that I had made over time that I could have called plenty of them and told them my sad sack heart story and I could've gotten company easily and I'm pretty sure that some would've made a full court press to try and make me their fiance.

The first time I went--I was really scared that it'd all back fire on me. I read all the travel advisories and worried that I might be kidnapped or worse--I thought I'd end up, being 'stood up'--alone in a nice hotel watching Asian TV I couldn't understand for three weeks, eating food I'd never seen before. I think I had $2500  in $50s stuck deep down in my underwear--well actually in a very uncomfortably secure 'money belt--girdle' contraption.

I think that kind of money would've paid for a couple thousand 'full body' massages, if that's what I was into and was by my lonesome, looking for some relaxation mixed with excitement.

I was safer there than I was back home in the USA, ironically. I had my wallet fall out of my pocket in a Manila taxi's back seat and the guy yelled at me to come back and get it. Amazing.

Boy, was I wrong about being left lonely and bored in the Philippines if my 'girl one' didn't work out.. Most of the TV was things like old reruns of the Brady Bunch in English, Baywatch and Oprah Winfrey (although I didn't watch much TV) there was every USA fast food place nearby if that's what I wanted--but most importantly, the women I chose were really good, honorable people and they acted like ambassadors for their nations.


Plus, worse case scenario, there were a kazillion girls all looking at my not even handsome ass, as if I was some sort of celebrity. I'd be the same if I was in my late 60's age wise, I have no doubt. I wouldn't even have to write 'HAS PENSION" on my forehead or dress up fancy.

I guess I was real lucky with cabbies, because besides one telling me my wallet had fallen out in the back seat instead of driving off and getting a couple months of pay real fast,(it was in the heart of Manila too) I had cabbies offering to introduce me to their sisters, nieces, etc.

KenC, if you put at least a few months into meeting Filipinas on line here and narrow them down to one, but have also made--shall we say 'secondary friends'--who are aware that you're main focus is elsewhere--if you're honest and follow my lead--you will have a great time and you will MOST definitely not lack for quality female companionship. Maybe just be prepared for some extra travel--inexpensive island hopping, if you have to 'exercise other options'.

These women are nothing like those Russian, former USSR nation's women--and are different than the Chinese women I met--all of whom I  had internet relationships with on line. Those former USSR women seemed to me to have warm personalities on the outside, but many eventually showed cool, calculating blood as cold as the Baltic Sea's.

I had plenty of Chinese women warm up really, really fast, having translation help (former USSR nation's women did that too) only to drop me like a hot rock, without even a dear John letter--just totally quitting with any reply. It was weird communicating with women who had people--often for pay, I'm sure, translating their letters.

Occasionally, but not commonly, you'll meet a Filipina, who might be wonderful, but has a close friend/s helping her 'communicate' with you, especially at first, if that' the case. Some of the best ladies aren't too familiar with or comfortable with, the chat technique--process.

Filipinas seemed more honest--(honorable) and sincere--and infinitely romantic. With the exception of one woman from Kazakhstan, who was half Asian--Half Russian and was a warm, honest and wonderful lady, all my leading indicators seemed to point towards the Philippines.

Don't over worry too much, but do take the time to get to know women on line, looking for consistency and other characteristics in them that you value. take the time and the results will be much, much better. I don't think that even if a Kano just got off the plane cold and walked around Manila, Cebu or Davao, to name just a few cities, that he'd have trouble meeting women and while they might not be exactly what he intended to meet, he'd never be bored or lack a tour guide or host if he had decent communications skills....