Any advice on where to try next?

[Quixote9]

Well, so far things haven't gone at all how I'd hoped finding a wife for myself.  And part of me is inclined to just throw in the towel.  But I really am not sure what else to do with myself, just be lonely?  I am a terribly shy person, and left to my own devices I would probably just stay home and watch TV rather than go out and try and introduce myself to women.

So the agency system kind of allowed me to side-step my shyness by having other people aproach the women I was interested in for me. In fact, to be compleatly honest (and risk all of your contemptuous laughter and snarky remarks) I had never even had a real girlfriend before I went to Jamie's agency in Barranquilla. So it is no real shocker that I crashed and burned. I used International Introductions twice, and both times met gorgeous women I was very interested in, but ultimately I was not able to make these relationships work the way I wanted them to. Probably due to in equal measures to my own inexperience with women and the extreme selfishness of the women I chose to be in relationships with.  I am not sure if their selfishness was a Colombian thing, a women thing, due to their youth, their attractiveness, or just that I allowed them to take me for granted because I was trying so hard to make things work.

Now I am single again and I don't really know what to do with myself.  Traveling to another country and paying an agency seems like a really expensive way to meet women, considering my poor success rate.  But after starting a Match.com account and being unable to meet anyone I would consider date worthy in my area after over 2 months, agencies start looking better and better.  I can date a 9 or a 10 in Colombia (although she has no job, no money of her own, and doesn't speak English) or I can date a 4 or 5 in the USA (who is 15 years older, overweight, divorced with 2 kids).  Colombia for the win!

  I know people here say "you don't need an agency, they are a rip off", but I really don't think I would meet more than one or two women a week in Colombia on my own, and my vacation time is more scarce than money.  I unfortunately burned some bridges with the agency I had been using in Barranquilla, so any advice on other agencies I could try? The country or location is not important, it doesn't have to be Colombia, or even Latin America.  I like latin, asian, and european women.  I have tried Colombian Sweethearts in Medellin awhile back, but it did not meet my expectations really.  Any other agencies I can trust not to scam me?  I have not been to Cali yet, is All Colombian Girls a rip off?  Peru? Phillipines?  I know the Phillipines doesn't have agencies, so I am not sure how I would go about meeting anyone there.  I am not interested at all in agencies that knowingly use prostitutes, I do not want to fall for someone only to find out she is a working girl 

Thanks

[JimD]

I would definately visit Cali and give Allcolombiangirls a try. I am in Cali at the moment, using the agency and am quite satisfied with it. It´s right next to the Chipichape shopping mall and there are two new nice hotels within a three block walk (and in safe area). <i´ll post that information later if you like. Ricardo the owner has his critics here (as does your Barranquilla guy) and most of the criticism is due to his trying to offer more than he can reasonably deliver. Skip "tours" and "packages". Just tell Ricardo you are coming and when and negotiate the agency fee when you get here. Also make your reservation with the hotel and get a cab at the airport. You don´t need "pickup" or any other add on services. All you need from the agency is for him or his secretary to call the girls you choose and get them to show up. This he does very well, in fact better than any other agency I´ve ever used. You do need to be prepared for some flakyness when dealing with the very young ones. Some girls will have a fight with their boyfriend, sign up, then get back with the boyfriend before even having one date. Stuff like that is out of the owners control. Other stuff too. An example: One time when I was sitting in the agency two young girls showed up and signed on with the agency. One was eighteen and really hot. I talked with her and found out they´d just arrived from Calarcá a town outside Armenia and planned to return that afternoon. I asked so are you really going to come to Cali when the agency calls and says there´s an American that wants to meet you?  Sure she said. Well Calarcá is about a four and a half hour trip by bus each way. I doubt she´ll show for many dates. So yes there may be no shows like these but generally Ricardo is really good about brow-beating them to be "cumplida". You have to be reasonable with your expectations. One guy asked Ricardo to line up a bunch of dates weeks in advance of his arrival then he had a bunch of no-shows when he arrived. That might work with American or European women but in Cali it´s rediculous. Maximum lead time with colombianas is about forty eight hours. And one last tip. Never let the girl pick the restaurant.

[mudd]

Maximum lead time with Colombians is about forty eight hours. And one last tip. Never let the girl pick the restaurant.

so true, we would have to call the girls 4 days before, the day before and day of, just to make sure they didn't forget, or plan something else.

also good point, never let the girl dictate where to go, either get some ideas before the date, or  pick yourself, or you will end up in the most expensive restaurant 90% of the time.

[InnocentVixen]

Probably due to in equal measures to my own inexperience with women and the extreme selfishness of the women I chose to be in relationships with.  I am not sure if their selfishness was a Colombian thing, a women thing, due to their youth, their attractiveness, or just that I allowed them to take me for granted because I was trying so hard to make things work.

Hi Quixote, it is too bad you have not found your lady yet, you sound like a nice guy... maybe a bit too nice for the kind of woman and environment you've been looking for. I think you might be what they call painfully shy and woman that think this is cute in latin america are the ones that are shy themselves, it doesn't sound like you have ever picked a shy one to me though.

What do you consider a 10? I have noticed some men consider a 10 pretty woman that dress borderline slutty that goes out of her way to get attention... if that is a 10 for you I advice you to date a 9 or *gasp* an 8!!! it almost sounds like a 7 for you would not be much better than a woman in your own country who is 15 years older than you, fat and with kids... see what I am getting at? a natural beauty who might not look so impressive with a nice personality will probably end up dressing up for you and the result my friend, is a beautiful woman, inside and out... still beats your options in your own country don't you think?

no todo lo que brilla es oro 

[CROW]

I would definately visit Cali and give Allcolombiangirls a try. I am in Cali at the moment, using the agency and am quite satisfied with it. It´s right next to the Chipichape shopping mall and there are two new nice hotels within a three block walk (and in safe area). <i´ll post that information later if you like. Ricardo the owner has his critics here (as does your Barranquilla guy) and most of the criticism is due to his trying to offer more than he can reasonably deliver. Skip "tours" and "packages". Just tell Ricardo you are coming and when and negotiate the agency fee when you get here. Also make your reservation with the hotel and get a cab at the airport. You don´t need "pickup" or any other add on services. All you need from the agency is for him or his secretary to call the girls you choose and get them to show up. This he does very well, in fact better than any other agency I´ve ever used. You do need to be prepared for some flakyness when dealing with the very young ones. Some girls will have a fight with their boyfriend, sign up, then get back with the boyfriend before even having one date. Stuff like that is out of the owners control. Other stuff too. An example: One time when I was sitting in the agency two young girls showed up and signed on with the agency. One was eighteen and really hot. I talked with her and found out they´d just arrived from Calarcá a town outside Armenia and planned to return that afternoon. I asked so are you really going to come to Cali when the agency calls and says there´s an American that wants to meet you?  Sure she said. Well Calarcá is about a four and a half hour trip by bus each way. I doubt she´ll show for many dates. So yes there may be no shows like these but generally Ricardo is really good about brow-beating them to be "cumplida". You have to be reasonable with your expectations. One guy asked Ricardo to line up a bunch of dates weeks in advance of his arrival then he had a bunch of no-shows when he arrived. That might work with American or European women but in Cali it´s rediculous. Maximum lead time with colombianas is about forty eight hours. And one last tip. Never let the girl pick the restaurant.

This one doesn't look too bad

 http://www.allcolombiangirls.com/detail.php?code=1974

Have you met her yet?

This girl is dressed terrible but she might fix up nice.

http://www.allcolombiangirls.com/detail.php?code=1961

[Gato4Astrid]

Quixote

I am very sorry that you still haven't found the right woman, but there is a right woman waiting for you.  Maybe she is too shy to make the first move.  As you are saying that you are a very shy man.   I used to be very shy man most of my life - up to early 30s.  To make you feel better, I lost my virginity 5 days before my 23rd birthday!  Prior to Internet, I did not have many girlfriends because I was too shy to make the first move.  Internet certainly have helped me to overcome my shyness.

Instead of looking for Miss Right, first you need to overcome your shyness!   You can take up one of the courses - "Building Your Confidence".  Confidence is key of success - that including overcome your shyness.

As for Dating Tour, I do not believe in them.  I prefer to get to know someone better before meeting.  It depends on their personalities.  As you are a shy man, online dating would be more suitable for you, because your 'shyness' will fade as you know the woman better.

I wish you the best of luck, and you deserve a good woman but remember that the inner beauty is more important than the external beauty.   If you look for a woman with inner beauty, the external beauty will get more beautiful as you grew in love with the woman.    Look for a woman who smiles

[Jeff S]

Quixote: You are ill equipped to handle Colombian young, high-end women I'd say. The truth is that any old 7 can be a 10 with the right clothes, makeup and photographer.

First step back and assess what you really want in a relationship, then look for someone who doesn't present themselves as player bait. It is almost always preferable to meet someone not in the meat market, but through someone you share a common interest with.

You'll do far better getting introduced to someone not so actively on the market - like the shy cousin or sister of someone you know.

You might also think about Asia. There are a whole lot of sweet, shy, innocent types there as compared to Colombian agencies.

[z_k_g]

I hate to break up the circle jerk, but....

This guy is gonna get eaten alive in Colombia, everyone knows it and just won't say it!

Quixote9, you need to work on your self confidence.  There is nothing wrong with shyness, but once you get that date, you gotta show her that you are a MAN.

Women, especially Latinas, no matter how shy they are they watch soaps and interact with the culture, will deal with you accordingly.

If you are an obvious wimp, you will become a Latina's bitchboy!!

Cowboy up!!

Zulu

[John W]

Also make your reservation with the hotel and get a cab at the airport. You don´t need "pickup" or any other add on services.

I disagree with the get a cab at the airport advice.  One of the most vulnerable times for any South American traveler is airport arrival and hailing an unknown cab.  I would arrange for airport pickup through your hotel or a reliable, known driver.  Otherwise, you might end up being robbed on your ride from the airport to hotel.  True, most people will make it just fine with an unknown cab, but do not take the risk.  Arrange for a safe pick.  Also, do not hail taxis off the street.  Get them from a restaurant or store that works with known driver's and records the drivers info when a customer is picked up from their location.  

[michaelb]

What do you consider a 10? I have noticed some men consider a 10 pretty woman that dress borderline slutty that goes out of her way to get attention... if that is a 10 for you I advice you to date a 9 or *gasp* an 8!!!

You mean like some of these?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-iJUJeG7VM&feature=related

Hey Quixote, seriously now, a '10' that treats you like crap soon becomes worth less than a '1'.....and any '6' or '7' can gain 2 or even 3 points if she treats you  right.

[play2win]

I would definately visit Cali and give Allcolombiangirls a try. I am in Cali at the moment, using the agency and am quite satisfied with it. It´s right next to the Chipichape shopping mall and there are two new nice hotels within a three block walk (and in safe area). <i´ll post that information later if you like. Ricardo the owner has his critics here (as does your Barranquilla guy) and most of the criticism is due to his trying to offer more than he can reasonably deliver. Skip "tours" and "packages". Just tell Ricardo you are coming and when and negotiate the agency fee when you get here. Also make your reservation with the hotel and get a cab at the airport. You don´t need "pickup" or any other add on services. All you need from the agency is for him or his secretary to call the girls you choose and get them to show up. This he does very well, in fact better than any other agency I´ve ever used. You do need to be prepared for some flakyness when dealing with the very young ones. Some girls will have a fight with their boyfriend, sign up, then get back with the boyfriend before even having one date. Stuff like that is out of the owners control. Other stuff too. An example: One time when I was sitting in the agency two young girls showed up and signed on with the agency. One was eighteen and really hot. I talked with her and found out they´d just arrived from Calarcá a town outside Armenia and planned to return that afternoon. I asked so are you really going to come to Cali when the agency calls and says there´s an American that wants to meet you?  Sure she said. Well Calarcá is about a four and a half hour trip by bus each way. I doubt she´ll show for many dates. So yes there may be no shows like these but generally Ricardo is really good about brow-beating them to be "cumplida". You have to be reasonable with your expectations. One guy asked Ricardo to line up a bunch of dates weeks in advance of his arrival then he had a bunch of no-shows when he arrived. That might work with American or European women but in Cali it´s rediculous. Maximum lead time with colombianas is about forty eight hours. And one last tip. Never let the girl pick the restaurant.

I am glad to hear you are having success because the fact taht their emails go to yahoo.com (as opposed to owning the domain name and having emails go there) would scare the hell out of me.  Let us know how it goes because I would be curious about other reputable agencies people have had success with outside of Jamie's (there does not appear to be that many success stories or if there are I would love to see the links).

[play2win]

Also why is it when I click links on their page for the faq i get sent to: http://www.latincolombiancupid.com/

I guess don't judge a book by it's cover cause based on the site I would never trust them.  Good to hear you are having a positive experience though and a lesson for me I probably should not judge the business by their site.

At least the site they send you too is clearly well done.

[utopiacowboy]

I have a friend who has never gotten "it" for "free". He has always paid a pro for it. He has never had a wife or girlfriend. I often think that the guy is way ahead of the rest of us emotionally, physically and financially. It may be a path you should consider - straight up business transactions.

[play2win]

I have a friend who has never gotten "it" for "free". He has always paid a pro for it. He has never had a wife or girlfriend. I often think that the guy is way ahead of the rest of us emotionally, physically and financially. It may be a path you should consider - straight up business transactions.

A friend once said you always pay one way or another.

[z_k_g]

A friend once said you always pay one way or another.

You always pay!

Zulu

[play2win]

You always pay!

Zulu

Agreed.  And agreed with the post about him being eaten alive.  I would try Asia they are nicer and more passive (based on my experience meeting people off the boat from both countries).

[Bob_S]

I am a terribly shy person, and left to my own devices I would probably just stay home and watch TV rather than go out and try and introduce myself to women.
So the agency system kind of allowed me to side-step my shyness by having other people aproach the women I was interested in for me. In fact, to be compleatly honest (and risk all of your contemptuous laughter and snarky remarks) I had never even had a real girlfriend before I went to Jamie's agency in Barranquilla. So it is no real shocker that I crashed and burned.

Zulu's dead on right.  Who the hell ever convinced you to try Latin America?  Baaaaad match.  I know because I'm pretty much the same type.  It takes a certain personality type to do well in that meat market, and you ain't it.  Quit reading the agency hype.  It has done its purpose of shaking you loose from your money, but left you with nothing but a massive void in your heart.

[]
Here's one of those harsh facts of life you gotta learn sometime:
Just because a "10" comes from a 3rd World country does not mean she is suddenly in your league.  A girl who's a 10 will only respect and stay with a guy she regards as a 10.  Do you think you can bag a 10 just because she is poorer than you?  That kind of colonialist thinking will explode in your face sooner or later (and better sooner than later, let me tell you  ).  I'm not admitting to speaking from experience, but I do have a T-shirt to sell you. 

If you've already learned the language and are determined to stick it out there, go with IV's advice and consider a shy 7 who would better match you.  If not, shift to Asia where even shy guys can morph into popular Charisma-men.  But even there, the same rules apply: big busted girls know they are hot, desired, and in demand and will walk all over a nice guy.  Heck, find a shy 5 who treats you like a king and suddenly you will see her as a 9 or 10.  That's another one of those little life lessons you gotta learn.
[/]

[william3rd]

I have a friend who has never gotten "it" for "free". He has always paid a pro for it. He has never had a wife or girlfriend. I often think that the guy is way ahead of the rest of us emotionally, physically and financially. It may be a path you should consider - straight up business transactions.

A friend of mine was braced by a magazine attending one of the Russian romance tours as to why he was paying for sex. His answer was that he was not paying for sex; he was paying an insurance premium. He just wanted to ensure that the girl was going home in the morning.

[play2win]

A friend of mine was braced by a magazine attending one of the Russian romance tours as to why he was paying for sex. His answer was that he was not paying for sex; he was paying an insurance premium. He just wanted to ensure that the girl was going home in the morning.

]

A famous quote from Charlie sheen is you dont pay hookers for sex.  You pay them to leave

[fathertime]

quixote,

you are being too hard on yourself...if these gals were your first girlfriends then there is a learning curve that you are undergoing.  it is likely a good thing that neither worked out because in most cases men need to have a little experience before finding the right one.
if you have truly burnt your bridge in barranquilla then that is really too bad because your are not likely to find another agency that works as well as Jamie's.  you should really verify that the bridge is burned before you never cross it again.

All colombian girls (ACG) was alright, but my experience was that i met a lot of gals that didn't show up...i met some nice gals too, and at the time if I had a little more colombian experience i might have hooked up long term with one of them, so they aren't THAT bad a place...just not as organized, efficient, and well stocked as Jamies. 

I think you should just keep putting yourself out there, because you will be miserable at home with the TV and time does fly...if you have the money, then use it and don't worry about things too much.  Don't repeat the mistakes you made in the past, make fresh new ones if anything.

Good luck,
Fathertime!

[z_k_g]

Zulu's dead on right.  Who the hell ever convinced you to try Latin America?  Baaaaad match.  I know because I'm pretty much the same type.  It takes a certain personality type to do well in that meat market, and you ain't it.  Quit reading the agency hype.  It has done its purpose of shaking you loose from your money, but left you with nothing but a massive void in your heart.[]

A Sucker is Born Every Minute!  You got P-L to guide ya, don't be a walking ATM machine!

Here's one of those harsh facts of life you gotta learn sometime:
Just because a "10" comes from a 3rd World country does not mean she is suddenly in your league.  A girl who's a 10 will only respect and stay with a guy she regards as a 10.  Do you think you can bag a 10 just because she is poorer than you?  That kind of colonialist thinking will explode in your face sooner or later (and better sooner than later, let me tell you   ).  I'm not admitting to speaking from experience, but I do have a T-shirt to sell you.  

This is gold, pure gold.

Most guys don't get this!  

After they get raped by the 3rd World "10" in American Divorce court, its starts to sink in!

Agreed.  And agreed with the post about him being eaten alive.  I would try Asia they are nicer and more passive (based on my experience meeting people off the boat from both countries).

Agreed.

Hope he listens to this advice!!

Zulu

[Researcher]

Quixote: You are ill equipped to handle Colombian young, high-end women I'd say. The truth is that any old 7 can be a 10 with the right clothes, makeup and photographer.

First step back and assess what you really want in a relationship, then look for someone who doesn't present themselves as player bait. It is almost always preferable to meet someone not in the meat market, but through someone you share a common interest with.

You'll do far better getting introduced to someone not so actively on the market - like the shy cousin or sister of someone you know.

You might also think about Asia. There are a whole lot of sweet, shy, innocent types there as compared to Colombian agencies.

   Quixote, The above quote is the best advice on this thread.Try an Asian country it might suit you better, who knows?


    Researcher

[Pivery]

 Quixote, you should definitely get back out there, but yes you should also assess what
missteps you may be repeating. I remember I felt a bit intimidated by all the girls I met
when I was looking, but I knew exactly what type of woman I was looking for, and I kept
at it until I found the woman who I have now. The constant attention was nice from the ladies,
but not what I was looking for.

Maybe you can repair your burnt bridge in BAQ if you decide to return there. If not, you have
to decide on how much $ you are willing to invest in travelling to (fill in various countries here)
until you feel you have found a match. The whole rating system (1-10) is silly. You are looking
for a wife that in 50 years when your looks and hers go by the wayside are still compatible and
as close as best friends.

If you can find a woman with great looks and can take care of you, then what # she is or is not
is moot. When walking down the street, my lady gets guys craning their heads out of their cars
and looking at me with jealousy, but she dresses very conservatively. What # she / was is never
entered my mind and never was something I tossed and turned in bed thinking about at night. 

Jeff has a valid point that maybe there is a friend of a friend that is shy like you and you can see
where it goes. Wherever you decide, stay positive and resolute.

Good luck - don't give up!

Pivery

[Henry]

One thing that may help is looking for some red flags. I have a personality similar to yours. I went to Europe and had success with women for the first time in my life. However, unlike you, I had a long term girlfriend who wasnt even a 7. She was a former obese woman with a chip on her shoulder.

She basically treated me like crap, but put a sugar coating on top. She always had to go to clubs every weekend. She would talk over me when I would try to talk with her and her sister, and she would often raise her voice and act like she was the boss.

So we need to decide what kind of behavior we are going to tolerate from women, along with the proper level of respect. Any woman who is not on your side, unreasonable about her expectations and unwillingly to meet you half way is not marriage material.

As for relative hotness, the man and the woman should be of similar physical attractiveness for things to work out. Unless you have a boatload of A++ personality or gold.

[JimD]

It´s dog eat dog (perro come perro [like the movie]) out there.