Strange Experience

[throwawaydad]

Or am I just being hyper-sensitive?

I took the day off today...needed a break, plus went out last night and this morning couldn't concentrate, so I blew it off.  Decided to indulge my once-a-month McDonalds habit.

I walked in the front door, and walking behind me was apparently a family of three.  Mom, a Daughter about 6 y/o, and a Son about 7 y/o.  I hold the door for the young person, after all she's a CHILD.

She walks in first and says nothing.  Her Brother walks in next and looks me directly in the face and says "Thank You".  Mom brings up the rear (I'm still holding the door) walks right past me with no acknowledgment whatsoever.

I thought of that while I was eating my "lunch".  I found it interesting that only the Male would say thanks, while the Grrrls just took advantage of my "old school" manners, then dismissed me without a second thought.

I was thinking about how this little Girl was learning sh1tty behavior toward Men at such a young age.  I just got the impression she was simply mirroring her Mother's attitude toward "Icky Boys".

If I had more presence of mind, I would've scoped out Mom for a wedding ring, but I was hungry.

And I lecture people about the first four letters of the word analysis.

[fathertime]

You just gotta do these things and accept that it will be thankless.  She probably then got right in front of you in line and took a long time to order as well.  Hopefully she at least had the decency to have a nice ass for you to look at in line. 

Now that you know how she reacted, if there was a way to have a do-over, I think I would shut the door in the woman's face just to see what type of reaction she gave. 

Fathertime!   

[Dave H]

She probably then got right in front of you in line and took a long time to order as well.  Hopefully she at least had the decency to have a nice ass for you to look at in line. 

Now that you know how she reacted, if there was a way to have a do-over, I think I would shut the door in the woman's face just to see what type of reaction she gave. 

Fathertime!   

That happened to me all the time in South Florida! At least the Latinas were usually wearing sheer clothing that revealed they were wearing a thong! 

Dave

[InnocentVixen]

ah! I've heard of this before!! you should see the surprised looks I get when I turn around and smile to say thank you.

I've also heard of how some women get offended when a man does this, I think it's funny, why would anyone be offended because someone helped them with such a tiny thing? if it is a feminist thing why not start opening doors for men every now and then so there is equality? lol

Anyways, at least the kid said thank you and maybe learned something good... there must be a reason that woman was alone... the little girl still has time to change

[jm21-2]

ah! I've heard of this before!! you should see the surprised looks I get when I turn around and smile to say thank you.

I've also heard of how some women get offended when a man does this, I think it's funny, why would anyone be offended because someone helped them with such a tiny thing? if it is a feminist thing why not start opening doors for men every now and then so there is equality? lol

Anyways, at least the kid said thank you and maybe learned something good... there must be a reason that woman was alone... the little girl still has time to change

When I was in California there was an article (maybe posted to this site?) about an old guy who saw a woman with a lot of groceries and offered to help her load them in her car. Apparently she went off on him for being a chauvinist pig. And people wonder why chivalry is dead....

[Researcher]

   I stopped opening doors for women a long time ago.Somewhere around 1995 I went to a hospital to visit a friend of mine. I was in an elevator with two female nurses who were talking nonstop.Every other word they used was profanity and I haven't heard many men use the words they did.When the elevator stopped and the door opened I walked out in front of them.One looked at the other and said "I guess chivalry is dead" to which I replied "welcome to the nineties".I haven't looked back since.If I feel like holding a door for someone I do it but the way I see it, it is my choice.


   Researcher

[braziliangirl]

ah! I've heard of this before!! you should see the surprised looks I get when I turn around and smile to say thank you.

Same thing here.

No, throwawaydad. You are not being hyper-sensitive. I guess the problem with this lady goes beyond being a feminist. She is just rude and impolite and people like her are the reason why chivalry is dying or already dead.

I love being a woman, and that's I love when men behave like men and do nice things like this. Please, for the sake of the real women out there, don't stop doing such things. I guess it was the only chance the little boy had to learn such thing...

[Jeff S]

I agree with Brazil Girl. There aren't any deep dark psychological forces at work here, just plain old rudeness. These days there is just less shame than there once was about bad behavior. The only adjustments you need to make are to recognize rudeness when you see it and walk away. Don't let her bad behavior affect your good behavior because if you do, you just might turn off or ignore miss right when you happen on a chance meeting.

[Dave H]

I guess I must look like I am in pretty bad shape... When I was in the US earlier this year, I had women holding doors for me and had several even walk me to my car, shielding me from the rain with their umbrellas. I always thanked them!
Dave

[whitey]

That woman was rude, but she probably only reflects 1-2% of the population.  I'm certainly not going to alter what I consider to be polite conduct to lower myself to that level.

I always try to hold doors open for women and children, and often do it for men too depending on the situation (for instance if I'm already through the door and someone is a couple steps behind).  It's just the decent thing to do and part of a civil society.

[Researcher]

I agree with Brazil Girl. There aren't any deep dark psychological forces at work here, just plain old rudeness. These days there is just less shame than there once was about bad behavior. The only adjustments you need to make are to recognize rudeness when you see it and walk away. Don't let her bad behavior affect your good behavior because if you do, you just might turn off or ignore miss right when you happen on a chance meeting.

    I disagree. I, probably like alot of other people, didn't realize saying thank you was part of the door opening politeness rules.When I do open a door for someone I don't expect gratitude.I just don't see it as a requirement as holding a door isn't.That way I'm never disappointed when someone is rude.

    And being polite so you don't miss out on Miss Right? Oh yeah, because we all know that nice guys NEVER finish last. hehehe.

    As far as 1% to 2% of people being rude?I don't know who did that study but how can you tell.Most guys here have hinted at the fact they hold doors open for women so they can check out their rear ends! Is that being polite? If it is then I am one polite fellow!

[Ray]

I agree with Jeff & BG.

Holding a door for someone just comes natural to me. Yes, being polite is optional, but I guess that’s just the way I was brought up.

Do I expect gratitude in return? No, I don’t expect anything and I am not especially disappointed by someone’s failure to respond. It could just be rudeness, but perhaps his/her dog just died and they aren’t in a particularly good mood that day. Who cares?

If someone holds a door for me, or motions for me to go ahead of them, then I just naturally say thank you, or give a friendly nod or a smile.

Ray

[Dave H]

When I do open a door for someone I don't expect gratitude.I just don't see it as a requirement as holding a door isn't.That way I'm never disappointed when someone is rude.

Hey Researcher,

Then you would NEVER be disappointed in Miami !!!   "Immigrants" (legal and illegal) in South Florida think that it is your job to hold doors for them! They also expect you to move IMMEDIATELY out of their way so that they can shop where you were looking! They constantly bump into you (especially with shopping carts and electric handicap carts that they don't need) with no apology because the fact that you are in front of them annoys the HELL out of them! Once they get in front of you, they immediately block the entire aisle using whatever means necessary, including shopping carts, merchandise thrown onto the floor, knocking down displays, and/or family members. They try to get in front of you at the cash register, if you let them, there is NO "Thank you!". A very common practice is for them to throw their merchandise onto the counter at the cash register, then go off and continue to shop. Once they are back at the register, they try on clothes and shoes, make the clerk void items that they no longer want, call relatives to see if they want anything (I speak Spanish), then go off again. The clerk is either one of them and thinks that this is normal behavior or doesn't want to go through the aggravation of voiding all of their merchandise to ring you up!

I look like a "cracker,"  but the ladies who held doors for me and walked me to my car in the rain were all non-Hispanic Blacks (American and Carribean), except for 1 white AW who held a door.

Dave

[Researcher]

Hey Researcher,

Then you would NEVER be disappointed in Miami where most of the Latinas think that it is your job to hold doors for them, move IMMEDIATELY out of the way so they can look at the shelf where you were looking, and let them go ahead of you at the register!   The ladies who held doors for me and walked me to my car in the rain were all non-Hispanic Blacks (American and Carribean), except for 1 white AW who held a door.

Dave

    Hey Dave, if that's the way it is in Miami I probably wouldn't be holding any doors.


   Researcher

[Dave H]

   Hey Dave, if that's the way it is in Miami I probably wouldn't be holding any doors.

   Researcher

Hey Researcher,

I hear you! My Dad drilled that stuff into me as a kid and I can't seem to let go of it...much to my aggravation!   South Florida used to be very "Southern" place with "Yes ma'am! No ma'am! Yes sir, No sir!" Many of my Latin friends and relatives have gotten the heck out of there and can't believe that I stayed as long as I did (41 years)! My two oldest boys (half Latino) moved before I did and can't believe how different it is in many other parts of the US!  

Hey I have a thought...maybe the Cubanas didn't want to take a chance that I might be be Puerto Rican, Colombianas may have thought that I was Venezuelan, Argentinians probably thought that I was anything but Argentinian, etc! That explains it!  

Dave

[thekfc]

A few week back, myself & a coworker went to pick up some items for an event for the store where we worked. On our way back, midtown traffic was clogged, so we decided to skip taking a taxi & then took the train. While the train was entering the station, a wind blew some papers from the hands of a lady who was standing next to us.

The woman (in her mid/late 20's) turn to my coworker (he was holding a big bag in each hands & so was I) and said to him, and I quote "You are obligated to pick these up for me, it is your duty".  My coworker look at her in her face and walked over the papers & entered the train. 

[Dave H]

"You are obligated to pick these up for me, it is your duty".  My coworker look at her in her face and walked over the papers & entered the train.  

Hey thekfc,

I suspect that your coworker was never a Boy Scout! 

Well I hope that you took your obligation seriously and...kicked her damn papers onto the tracks!

Dave

I guess I'm a bit "old-fashioned!" I like the old ways so much better!