Bad English

[robert angel]

Just a brief example, from a spelling point of view, why English is so damn hard to learn as a second language.

Get into past and present tenses, gender references, slang, idioms and metaphors and it is really hard to fathom...

Spell Checker

I halve a spelling checker,
It came with my pea see.
It plainly marks four my revue
Mistakes I dew knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait aweigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the era rite
Its rarely ever wrong.

I've scent this massage threw it,
And I'm shore your pleased too no
Its letter prefect in every weigh;
My checker tolled me sew.

[piglett]

Lucks gud two me 

[thekfc]

Dere is nuthing wrung with dat, it look gud to me 2. 

[Jeff S]

Sounds like the next line should be: "Lay down Sally, and rest her in my arms...."

[Jedironin]

Gotta love the swill chuckers! 

(Yes... I'm just getting around to reading the joke threads...) 

[hennatoes]

I go to sleep at knight and wake up in the mourning, seven daze a weak

[Gato4Astrid]

I go to sleep at knight and wake up in the mourning, seven daze a weak

 

[Jedironin]

Can you imagine someone who doesn't know English that well trying to read these?!      

[Bill_McC]

Say this to someone learning English as a second language and watch them do the Exorcist head spin.

"My watch says that it's two to two too."

Bill

[Jedironin]

Bill... that gives ME a headache! 

[braziliangirl]

"My watch says that it's two to two too."

Oh God! Don't they all sound the same? 

[piglett]

Oh God! Don't they all sound the same? 

maybe you should try wearing a to-to too

pig

[Jeff S]

Hey pig - It's a tutu.

Let's get it right now.

Not that Spanish doesn't have it's own....

Como como como, como no?

[hennatoes]

They say "b" and "v" don't matter in Spanish. Here are a few counterexamples:
tubo - tube
tuvo - he had
rebelarse - to rebel - action noun is rebelión
revelarse - to reveal oneself - action noun is revelación
sabia - wise, as in busco a una mujer sabia
savia - sap

¡Ola! dice el mar saludando. (similar to "The sea doesn't say anything, it just waves.")

French: Si six scies scient six cyprès, six cent six scies scient six cent six cyprès. The first six syllables are pronounced the same.

[michaelb]

Many native Spanish speakers often mix up "b" and "v" when writing. Half the stores around here have signs saying "Fabor de ....."

On the other hand, many of the posters on this very board don't seem to understand the difference between "they're", "their" and "there" nor "you're" and "your" in English, so I guess the we pots should not be calling the kettles black.

[Woody]

Oh God! Don't they all sound the same? 

Yes. You would never hear that in normal conversation. You would hear "two till(as in until) two also."

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
Most people don't remember that a peck is a unit of measurement. Specifically, it is 1/4 of a bushel. This is why most people think this tongue twister is nonsensical.

[hennatoes]

Or they mix up "z" and "s" (e.g. there's a song with the line "aunque no lo ves" (although you don't see him), but the projector slide says "aunque no lo vez"). I say them the same, as do most people on this side of the pond and in Andalucia, but I don't consider rhyming e.g. "Jesús" with "luz" to be valid.

Were the peppers pickled on the pepper plant?