Building a House in Bohol Philippines

[Dave H]

I think I got the info to build the house economically in PI, the hard part is actually living there and adjusting to the new neighbors, family and friends.

Hey zulukong,

Just when I think that I have adjusted, something throws me a curve ball. Like waking up in the middle of the night with a massive ear and headache at 2AM. Then waiting to go to the emergency room (since the doctor will just send me to a pharmacy, which will probably be closed at this hour anyway). Finally on the brink of suicide or sticking a long needle in my ear, my wife convinces me to go to the ER at 6AM...only to be told my the ER nurse that she doesn't want to wake up the doctor for such a minor thing. Fortunately, my wife is a nurse, very patient (sometimes   ) and convinced the other nurse that my pain tolerance was really quite good...however, I had lost my mind  was on the brink of killing anyone that pissed me off!   The last part seemed to work...even though I know I would have had to wait in line behind my wife for whatever shred of living tissue remained to be killed. The pharmacy opened at 8AM, just in time for my eardrum to rupture while standing in line, sending out a stream of nasty looking and smelling (I am told - I actually liked the smell) fluid. Bisayan speaking Filipinos now call me "Atiton." Ask any Bisayan, I am told that it is a slang word for "otitis media," then  everyone laughs. I think it has something to do with smelling bad. I think that i like "Joe" better!  Man did it feel better after my ear O-ring (AKA "eardrum') blew out!! The headache and extreme ear pressure were gone and I was only left with an ear that throbbed like a bad tooth ache. 10AM saw a trip to the  ENT and a surprisingly (it always amazes me) low bill of $6. I paid my ENT almost $200 after my insurance paid 80%. Then back to the pharmacy for stronger pain medication (which I am now saving just in case I get some worse pain) and antibiotics. On the other hand...the pain pills may go well with San Miguel!   Besides, I have injectable pain medication from Saudi Arabia if I really need something strong!  I think it is used when the de-virginize camels or something. I may be visiting Saudi soon, so I had better not go into any more details.  

Had I been in the US, the story would have gone like this: I woke up at 2AM with a severe earache. My wife called 911 and 10 minutes later I was in the hospital emergency room. They gave me pain medication and antibiotics. I was back in bed and fast asleep by 4AM. Boring!

Although under Obama care, now they may be able to kill a few earache patients and put the rest into comas.

Just when I think I know everything about Filipino culture and people, something occurs to make me realize that I really don't have a clue how things are and the universe works! It happens too many times to mention... Hey did you know if you roll up a piece of tin foil into a tube shape and place it in a clear plastic bottle filled with water, it will drive the flies crazy and keep them  away...just one of the many things that I learned today.  

If you let it, living in the Philippines can be a very enjoyable adventure!

I plan to build a small, well built house (that can be easily enlarged later) on my dream lot (I have to find it and buy it first). I think Bohol is a good place...I can always escape to Cebu if I need something important like a Jack Daniel's Burger at TGI Fridays or a BMT from Subway.  

Dave AKA "Atiton"

[robert angel]

Great Stuff there Dave--you're on a roll!

Hope that head situation gets all better soon. Don't be like me and slam your hand in a door when your head hurts. Yea your head pain seems to go away for a while--but then (in the USA anyway) you have to see TWO Doctors!

I think that a lot of the money and materialistic issues we have to deal with are as you basically said, created by Kanos themselves and then they tend to take on a life of their own.

I think most of u go over there and totally smitten on some chick, we treat her like she's a Princess with a bad Toys R Us jones.

It's so damn easy, especially the first time, and it really feels sooo good to buy all kinds of stuff for her, her family and even her friends. Being Santa Claus (when no one's peeing on your leg  anyway) is fun! It's really 'rewarding' to see how much they love and appreciate what you give--what you're doing. It doesn't matter if it's clothes  cars or carrots--it's a big deal to them.

You compare how much something relatively little in expenditure to us means to them, compare it to a $50 dollar vase of delivered roses to most AW ('thanks, MY friends thought it was nice') or an X Box to a an American teen ('cool, dad') and it's easy to see why we 'get off' on it. A lot more bang for our buck always makes us smile.

I remember the first time. I've never been good with math or currency conversion and to me, that RP money was sort of like unreal monopoly 'play' money that went a really long way. To compound matters, I brought more money than I actually needed--'just in case'.  I was even annoyed that they didn't make bills larger than 1000 pesos. 'Only' twenty dollar bills?

So it's not any wonder really that we often set up this 'sugar daddy' dynamic ourselves and then we're bent when it goes on and on, the expectations often increasing because we never seemed to show any a pause in the first place. Sometimes getting all this 'stuff' can be addicting to the recipients, who come to want--to 'need' more and more to get that 'satisfaction'.

It's hard to stop, once you've got that ball rolling.

[Dave H]

Hey Rob,

I know of around 10 "Kanos" in town (only a few by name) who smile and nod when they see you and say "Hello," "How's it going?," "What's happening,?" or "G-Day Mate!" then go merrily on their way. Sometimes there is a brief conversation. We are a "simple" group. Compare that to the hundred or so that I hear yelling at store clerks or their ladies in public (BIG NO-NO!) . They always seem to give you a dirty look ( like you are on their turf) and ignore you if you say "Hello," "Guten Tag," or whatever, and seem to want to compete with their ladies, houses, motorcycles, etc. I have no time for them! I belong to an all (almost, since I am a member) motorcycle club. My friends are 99% Filipino, so you guys need to move here before I forget how to speak English!  

Here is an interesting article on Choosing your circle of friends by Mindanao Bob and some comments: http://liveinthephilippines.com/content/2010/04/choosing-your-circle-of-friends/comment-page-1/#comment-63980

Atiton

[Dave H]

I think that I am off topic as usual...oh well. I was riding around on my motorcycle today, I must have seen hundreds of single ladies. Some were very simple, working as vendors, yayas, house keepers, street sweepers, shop keepers, and farmers. I couldn't help but wonder, if given the opportunity (perhaps by marrying a Kano), how many would remain more or less the same and how many would become high maintenance Bee-itches? I don't have a clue! My wife stayed the same, which makes me very happy that I still have the lady that I married 9 years ago. I know many others who changed drastically!

Dave

[thekfc]

It's so damn easy, especially the first time, and it really feels sooo good to buy all kinds of stuff for her, her family and even her friends. Being Santa Claus (when no one's peeing on your leg  anyway) is fun! It's really 'rewarding' to see how much they love and appreciate what you give--what you're doing. It doesn't matter if it's clothes  cars or carrots--it's a big deal to them.

I am guilty of that on my trip.

I remember the first time. I've never been good with math or currency conversion and to me, that RP money was sort of like unreal monopoly 'play' money that went a really long way. To compound matters, I brought more money than I actually needed--'just in case'.  I was even annoyed that they didn't make bills larger than 1000 pesos. 'Only' twenty dollar bills?

Same here, although I knew the conversion rate, I was still amaze at how much money I still had left. When I was in the stores pricing items & doing the conversion in my head or cellphone calculator - I was saying "wow". Although you read & hear about it - it is different experiencing it.

It's hard to stop, once you've got that ball rolling.

For this upcaming trip, I spoke to Ahya & we both agree that I will only bring "stuff" for certain people, mainly our sponsors, "giveaway gifts' for the wedding, etc,. I will only be bringing souvenirs & another basketball/volleyball for the nieces, nephews, etc,. 
I had only 1 request for stuff & that was from Ahya for one her sister - she requested The Bosy Shop Vitamin E Night Cream. That is the sister who did the alteration on Ahya wedding dress, who went out & buy the fabric & made the bridesmaid dresses (they are already completed). So instead of just buying her the 1 jar of night cream, I will buy her the gift set.

There are the usual things that I will still bring - chocolates, lotion (VS & Body shop), flash drive, etc,. The only thing that I may "go crazy on" is VS - their semi annual sale hits just before I leave & all the stuff That I already have lined up to bring will fit in one suitcase & that will leave my other luggage & carry-on free.

There are certain things that I want my "new" family to have. There are a lot of things that I am collecting or have collected, but I will slowly give it to them & not all at once.

[robert angel]

Ha ha Dave,

>>how many would remain more or less the same and how many would become high maintenance Bee-itches?<<

My wife was sworn in as an American Citizen last month and when she knows she's putting out some 'attitude' she normally catches herself and explains. "I'm an Amercannn Beeeeeeacch now, you know" in her best Filipina, Ricky Ricardo hybrid accent.

She has changed some, no doubt. She occasionally displays some, shall we say 'consumer envy'?

Her best friend and her husband just bought a spectacular house--I'm sure they really need 3600 sq feet for the two of them and I'm they'll love going from a 2 bedroom apartment to their 'McMansion', cutting the huge lawn and watching the algae  and mosquitoes on the lagoon --almost as much as paying the mortgage, on which they put down the minimum down payment!

I sort of explained the math, adding the the taxes and insurance and how those numbers rarely go down, how getting into a decent house in the RP would be that much harder and it was sort of sobering to her. That was until that sporty red Honda Civic Si with the teenage girl driving passed us....

And I tell ya--if she's not really well grounded and raised and maybe even then still, as long as you live in the USA, and the younger she is when she gets here, the worse it's gonna get.....

[robert angel]

Yes Kfc,

You said >>I am guilty of that on my trip<< -I think we're all guilty on that one. Sounds like maybe you have a leg up on most of us by trying to explain to her that the gravy train doesn't go on forever.

A stitch in time can save ya nine......

I have suggested that we try and discuss all matters about sex, love, religion and money and each others 'unique' peccadilloes as much as possible before the wedding day.

All too often while courting, we're on our best behavior and we dance around potentially 'difficult' issues, then later on, we find what we really married into.

I thinks "Things to discuss and work out before marriage" would be a good topic here in it's own right. It's probably been covered here before, but trying to find specific topics here i the archives is kind of hit or miss--usually miss, for me. They're still nice to have, as you always find interesting things in there.

For instance,  I had no idea that it was actually Ray who was shooting all the broadsides during the Spanish American War and that he was is the run up San Juan Hill! Booley!

[Ray]

All too often while courting, we're on our best behavior and we dance around potentially 'difficult' issues, then later on, we find what we really married into.

I thinks "Things to discuss and work out before marriage" would be a good topic here in it's own right.
 

Excellent topic for discussion Robert. How about starting a new thread?

And no, I wasn’t at San Juan Hill bozo! I was at Manila Bay with Dewey… 

Ray

[robert angel]

Geeze, Ray-I thought I'd get you to do it for me--leave it to the rookies, eh?

[Ray]

Seriously, Filipinos will usually never ask a Kano directly for money, they are too shy or "embarrassed." They will ask your wife or fiancee. In my less than humble opinion, I have found that 99% of Filipinas and 99.9% of Kanos have created their own problems in this area.

Filipinas because of utang-na-loob ("reciprocity," sometimes taken to the extreme), guilt, amor propio (saving face), hiya (shame), a genuine sense of helping the less fortunate, putting others first, making others happy, etc. You cannot entirely blame Filipinas, as much of this is cultural and it is easy to not distinguish when it is taken too far or not socially acceptable to refuse. They have to learn creative ways to deal with these situations that won't cause them guilt and shame. Sort of like getting the Kano to throw away the spoiled, uncooked rice to avoid misfortune.   On the negative side, there are some ladies who want to appear "rich," be respected, a big shot, and make others jealous. Philippine cultural traditions are usually very beneficial to the society and people in general. But rest assured, there is always someone standing by who is willing manipulate matters and take advantage of the situation, just like in any other society (advanced or primitive, First or Third World) on earth!

Kanos are another matter entirely!!! Most will blame Filipinos and their culture and never accept any blame themselves! They come to the Philippines acting like a rich, powerful, big shots. They want to impress their lady, her family, and friends! "She has a very rich and generous Kano!"  Many Kanos throw money around while in the Philippines, brag about their wealth and all of their material possessions, and everything that they will buy in the Philippines. They make all kinds of promises...a huge new house with a swimming pool for mama and papa (who don't even swim), a new expensive vehicle, advanced private school education and college for the siblings, expensive cellphones, motorcycles, multi cabs. dining out at McDo with the entire family  , lavish parties, expensive trips, expensive jewelry, and on and on. Many Kanos start out doing some of these things...until the money starts to run low or out and the "requests" quite understandably continue and often begin to increase. What started out as "gifts," quickly turn into expectations and maybe even demands! Then the Kano often gets pissed and bad mouths all of the "evil, greedy Filipinos" and calls them derogatory names to anyone who will listen!...and even to those of us who don't care to hear it! These are the very same "loved ones (in the beginning)," that they helped create into greedy monsters! Many Filipinos believe that a Kanos' wealth is endless, that they really do pick the money off trees in the US, or that the ATM machine prints them an endless supply of money. They have never seen such a display of wealth, which is often a fancy facade to their real lives in America. To be fair, it is quite easy for a foreigner to spend money doing nice deeds, since so little money can go so far. Having $20,000 (approximately P 1 million) makes you a "millionaire" here. Besides the ladies are so beautiful and sweet. But, most Kanos  need to keep a rein on their spending, lest it gets out of control and becomes expected by the wife and/or her family. I think it is usually a case of a good family, that gets accustomed to and enjoys their new privileged lifestyle, rather than a bunch of miscreants looking for a Kano to victimize. Who can blame them?

I have noticed that many young Filipinas today are considering Kanos a commodity rather than a human being, with feelings and a heart that can be broken. I have also noticed many foreigners (some quite repulsive in demeanor and/or look) who act like they are God's gift to Filipinas! They walk around with their young (many are underage) "arm candy" and act like their she-it doesn't stink!

The solution....Don't ever let this get started! It is OK to give sometimes, just not to everybody and for everything. Don't give the impression that money comes easily to you and that you have an endless supply. Learn to say "no." Teach you wife the same, it can be done in a polite way. "I am sorry! I really wish that we could help! But we don't have any extra money now" "Walay quarta (We have no money), I was going to ask you if we could borrow money from you!" Eventually people will get the picture and stop knocking at your door with their hands out.

Don't believe everything that you hear! Many of these "leeches" were created by the very same people who now complain about them! I have found that the poorest Filipinos are the most humble and the least likely to ever ask you for money, even in desperate times of life or death.

Good luck!

Dave

Excellent observations Dave and right on!

Ray

[ByChoice]

I want to retire in the Phils eventually but my girl and I were thinking about Palawan anyone ever been there?

Palawan is one of the cleanest islands I know of. The Mayor is half German and enforces ordinances fairly effectively.  My wife and I were there only four or five days last year but it made an impression.  We saw most of the island, including the longest underground river in the world.  I thought I would like my wife to transfer to Palawan but there are still some problems with the Muslims in the south of the island.  It is situated very near Malaysia so the illegals float across to cause trouble.  A few years ago an American and his wife were kidnapped not far from the airport in Port princes; he was beheaded and they let her go.  The Hotel from where they were kidnapped closed its doors and remains so.

The gun laws have just been strengthened so its not as easy to protect yourself.  fortunately in my capacity as a defense contractor, and having qualified expert, I have no difficulties with shooting or legally carrying a handgun to protect myself and family. 

I have most of the bigmouths on this site ignored so I don't have to read their tripe and poor advise.  If you listen to good men like Dave, who actually live in this country, you rewards will be tenfold. 

These guys who live in other countries like the US are just guessing at life here.  If they lived here, ate the food, lived the culture, spoke with the politicians, and expressed themselves in a meaningful way...then perhaps I might listen to their pontifications. 

good luck.

BTW...If I had the opportunity, I think I'd move closer to Bagio.  cooler climate!

[Dave H]

I am guilty of that on my trip.
Same here, although I knew the conversion rate, I was still amaze at how much money I still had left. When I was in the stores pricing items & doing the conversion in my head or cellphone calculator - I was saying "wow". Although you read & hear about it - it is different experiencing it.

Hey kfc,

That's OK, we all are! It is expected, especially on the first visit, even if not requested by the Filipina. Bringing inexpensive gifts and souvenirs (pasalubong) is considered the cultural norm for each visit (especially from overseas) and is greatly appreciated.

 I am talking about when these things get way out of control! Some guys want a pretty, young wife (AKA Arm Candy) so badly, that they will say anything to get it! Then their ego becomes over inflated from all of the attention and affection! Then LOOK OUT MAN! They later regret thinking with their little head, but don't accept any blame themselves!

Dave

[piglett]

Palawan is one of the cleanest islands I know of. The Mayor is half German and enforces ordinances fairly effectively.  My wife and I were there only four or five days last year but it made an impression.  We saw most of the island, including the longest underground river in the world.  I thought I would like my wife to transfer to Palawan but there are still some problems with the Muslims in the south of the island.  It is situated very near Malaysia so the illegals float across to cause trouble.  A few years ago an American and his wife were kidnapped not far from the airport in Port princes; he was beheaded and they let her go.  The Hotel from where they were kidnapped closed its doors and remains so.
The gun laws have just been strengthened so its not as easy to protect yourself.  fortunately in my capacity as a defense contractor, and having qualified expert, I have no difficulties with shooting or legally carrying a handgun to protect myself and family. 
I have most of the bigmouths on this site ignored so I don't have to read their tripe and poor advise.  If you listen to good men like Dave, who actually live in this country, you rewards will be tenfold. 
These guys who live in other countries like the US are just guessing at life here.  If they lived here, ate the food, lived the culture, spoke with the politicians, and expressed themselves in a meaningful way...then perhaps I might listen to their pontifications. 
good luck.
BTW...If I had the opportunity, I think I'd move closer to Bagio.  cooler climate!

If you don't mind being off the beaten path a bit also check out Sibuyan, that is where I am going at the end of May
http://www.sibuyan.com/tourism.html
My understanding is there is a constant breeze from the ocean so that helps out some with the heat.


piglett

[Ray]

Palawan is one of the cleanest islands I know of. The Mayor is half German and enforces ordinances fairly effectively.  My wife and I were there only four or five days last year but it made an impression.  We saw most of the island, including the longest underground river in the world.  I thought I would like my wife to transfer to Palawan but there are still some problems with the Muslims in the south of the island.  It is situated very near Malaysia so the illegals float across to cause trouble.  A few years ago an American and his wife were kidnapped not far from the airport in Port princes; he was beheaded and they let her go.  The Hotel from where they were kidnapped closed its doors and remains so.

The gun laws have just been strengthened so its not as easy to protect yourself.  fortunately in my capacity as a defense contractor, and having qualified expert, I have no difficulties with shooting or legally carrying a handgun to protect myself and family. 

I have most of the bigmouths on this site ignored so I don't have to read their tripe and poor advise.  If you listen to good men like Dave, who actually live in this country, you rewards will be tenfold. 

These guys who live in other countries like the US are just guessing at life here.  If they lived here, ate the food, lived the culture, spoke with the politicians, and expressed themselves in a meaningful way...then perhaps I might listen to their pontifications. 

good luck.

BTW...If I had the opportunity, I think I'd move closer to Bagio.  cooler climate!

As usual, your big arrogant mouth has gotten in the way of the facts. If you are going to attempt to impress us with your “knowledge” of the Philippines, then how about checking your facts first.

The Abu Sayyaf kidnapped Martin and Gracia Burnham, along with another American and some Filipinos near Puerto Princessa (not Port princes).

The other American tourist, Guillermo Sobero, was the one beheaded. Gracia Burnham was not let go by the Abu Sayyaf. She was rescued by Philippine military forces and her husband Martin was killed during the rescue.

You know, just because someone happens to live in the Philippines, doesn’t prove that he knows shyt from Shinola. Now why don’t you get down off that high horse of yours and quit with the arrogant nonsense?

[evoltnvii]

If you don't mind being off the beaten path a bit also check out Sibuyan, that is where I am going at the end of May
http://www.sibuyan.com/tourism.html
My understanding is there is a constant breeze from the ocean so that helps out some with the heat.

looks like a good place to visit i dont know about retiring there tho. I think ill end up on palawan or near baguio or in northern bulacan.

[evoltnvii]

You know, just because someone happens to live in the Philippines, doesn’t prove that he knows shyt from Shinola. Now why don’t you get down off that high horse of yours and quit with the arrogant nonsense?

Damm Ray........ BURN!!! lol

[Dave H]

Here is a synopsis of the kidnapping:

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2007/03/jihadists-in-paradise/5613/

Gracia Burnham's book In the Presence of My Enemies gave a very interesting first person account of the kidnapping, life as a hostage, the mindset of the Abu Sayyaf, the death of her husband Martin, and her ultimate rescue.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijf_F0K_P9I

[z_k_g]

As usual, your big arrogant mouth has gotten in the way of the facts. If you are going to attempt to impress us with your “knowledge” of the Philippines, then how about checking your facts first.

The Abu Sayyaf kidnapped Martin and Gracia Burnham, along with another American and some Filipinos near Puerto Princessa (not Port princes).

The other American tourist, Guillermo Sobero, was the one beheaded. Gracia Burnham was not let go by the Abu Sayyaf. She was rescued by Philippine military forces and her husband Martin was killed during the rescue.

You know, just because someone happens to live in the Philippines, doesn’t prove that he knows shyt from Shinola. Now why don’t you get down off that high horse of yours and quit with the arrogant nonsense?

Ray...you are so subtle!! Can you be a bit more specific?  ROTHFLMAO

[Dave H]

You know, just because someone happens to live in the Philippines, doesn’t prove that he knows shyt from Shinola.

Hey Ray,

That is very true! There are quite a few foreigners (including Asians) here who seldom leave their compounds. When they do, they climb into the backseat of their darkly tinted vehicle, the housekeeper opens the gate, and the driver takes them to their destination. When they return, the driver honks the horn as he approaches the residence, the housekeeper opens the gate, the driver pulls in, the gate is closed, then the foreigner gets out and goes immediately into the house.

The other day I was able to escape my fortress when the bottled water truck delivered water to our house. The basura boys were waiting outside, so I gave them P10 and we took off on their pedicab. After an hour or two the men in the white coats came and took me back to my compound.  



There are probably more foreigners here who have a long-term lease on their barstool! I don't think that they have ever seen very much of the Philippines either. I wonder if you can own a bar stool in the Philippines, like a condo? Probably...if the bar has 60% Filipino patrons, so in their case NO!

Woody: "How's it hanging, Mr. Peterson?"

Norm: "Better when my butt is hanging off this bar stool with a beer in my hand."


Dave

[Dave H]

Back on topic...I think!

I was walking around the neighborhood yesterday and I saw a pile of typical Philippine concrete blocks. They looked to be of better quality then many blocks that I have seen. You can see that they are not very wide. My shoe is a size 11 for comparison.

[Dave H]

I think I found the source of the concrete blocks. A "professional" block company. Many concrete blocks are made in empty lots, with a wide margin of consistency in batch quality. I have seen some blocks crumble like they were part of a sand castle. Very scary when you think of all the earthquakes...just look at Haiti!

Dave

[z_k_g]

Also check out ways to make your own CMU block to American Dimensions.

This way you can ensure that your block is the tightest in terms of quality control.  You can get the block device and supervise a crew of 2 or 3 to mix and pour and then cast.

[evoltnvii]

do they use any rebar in the construction over there Dave?

[Dave H]

do they use any rebar in the construction over there Dave?

Hey evoltnvii,

Yes and No!   It is there before they pour the concrete, but if you or someone you trust is not their to supervise, who knows in the end. Then again, I had the same problem in South Florida.

Dave

do they use any rebar in the construction over there Dave?

Hey evoltnvii,

Yes and No!   It is there before they pour the concrete, but if you or someone you trust is not their to supervise, who knows in the end. Then again, I had the same problem in South Florida.

Dave

My neighbor is elevating the wall on his lot because someone keeps jumping over and steeling rebar from his pile.

[Dave H]

Also check out ways to make your own CMU block to American Dimensions.

This way you can ensure that your block is the tightest in terms of quality control.  You can get the block device and supervise a crew of 2 or 3 to mix and pour and then cast.

Hey zulukong,

Great advice! It would be well worth it!

Dave