New to this

[devonbm]

Hello everyone, I'm fairly skeptical of foreign brides, but I'm also skeptical of local women.  I'm new to this, I have plenty of questions and I am hoping this forum has plenty of answers.  So far from what I've read, it seems the latter is the truth.

I've had very bad luck with women all my life, they seem to always screw me over somehow.  I'm not sure how to explain this completely, but I think enough of you will understand what I'm trying to say.  I don't have a lot of experience when it comes to dating, because of this.  I'm curious as to if that matters much when looking for a foreign wife, does she care that much when it comes to experience?  I'm posting this here, because I'm most interested in an Asian bride, just fyi.  I just want to find a girl who does like me/love me, wants a family someday, may or may not want a career (that's not that important to me), a girl I can trust, and a girl who doesn't play those annoying mind games.  I'm not really that picky of a guy, I can compromise on most things, if i really care about a girl.  I would love to be with a girl on the level of supermodels, but I'm a realist and understand this doesnt happen often.

I just would love to find the girl of my dreams, but a girl halfway there, would still be amazing.....I dont know where to start llooking really.  I've read this forum for a little while, and I think I'm most interested in a Filipino woman, but I wouldnt know where to begin with this process, so please give me something, advice, lectures, etc. !!  Just let me know, thank you all in advance.

[devonbm]

I'm 22 this friday, if this helps at all

[Jeff S]

Hi Devon and welcome. Everyone here completely understands the "games" think you are talking about. That's why we all go overseas ourselves. Yes, there are plenty of Asian women who play games, but there is also a huge pool of Asian women even less experienced than you are. Many men here have found brides who not only were virgins, but had also never even been kissed or had their hands held, so they haven't learned how to use their sexuality as a weapon, as American women learn as pre-teens. Many of these worm are traditional in their attitudes about marriage. They see their job as a wife to support and contribute to thier husband's life, not compete with it or look as their husbands as some sort of project to be remodeled into their wishes. Anyway, best of luck to you and here is where you'll find plenty of straight talk about the subject.

[devonbm]

Thank you Jeff, it would seem to me I have found the right place. 

[Bob_S]

I've had very bad luck with women all my life, they seem to always screw me over somehow.  I'm not sure how to explain this completely,

Something you might not realize at 22 but might see at 32 or 42 (or 102) is, it's not always them.  A little introspection might be in order and ask yourself, why have you always been drawn to women who screw you over?  That's important, because when you seek foreign women, you will also find some women who will try to screw you over.  But you will also find wonderful sweet girls who want nothing more than to be a good wife to a good husband.  When the time comes, will you be able to tell the difference and pick the right one?

I don't have a lot of experience when it comes to dating, because of this.  I'm curious as to if that matters much when looking for a foreign wife, does she care that much when it comes to experience?

It's not important at all in the Far East.  The women of Japan at least (and maybe China and Korea, others are more knowledgeable about that than I) are used to shy guys.  So much so that formal matchmaking is still quite common to get very shy girls matched up with very shy guys.

I'm posting this here, because I'm most interested in an Asian bride, just fyi.  I just want to find a girl who does like me/love me, wants a family someday, may or may not want a career (that's not that important to me), a girl I can trust, and a girl who doesn't play those annoying mind games.  I'm not really that picky of a guy, I can compromise on most things, if i really care about a girl.

You would match well in Asia.  In fact, you may need to get MORE picky.  Do you want a woman who wants to work outside the home or do you want a woman who will devote herself to taking care of your home?

I would love to be with a girl on the level of supermodels, but I'm a realist and understand this doesnt happen often.

Even in Asia, the supermodels are drawn to the hyper-charismatic stud-muffin celebrity actors and musicians who will eventually cheat on them with other supermodels.  Avoid them.  They are just more drama.  Just another thing you learn when you reach 32 or 42 (or 102).

I just would love to find the girl of my dreams, but a girl halfway there, would still be amazing.....I dont know where to start looking really.  I've read this forum for a little while, and I think I'm most interested in a Filipino woman, but I wouldn't know where to begin with this process, so please give me something, advice, lectures, etc. !!  Just let me know, thank you all in advance.

What is it that draws you to Philippine culture?  Remember, when you marry the woman, you marry the culture.  That means the language, the food, the habits and traditions, the history, the music, the pop culture, everything.  Don't expect to bring over a foreign gal and morph her into your image of what a girl should be.  It don't work that way.  You want a place to start?  See where is the closest ethnic neighborhood that is the focus of your target country.  Try the restaurants, browse the music stores or video stores. (Don't be surprised if some cute patrons start checking you out.  )  See if it's really for you.

[piglett]

welcome Devon , ur at the rite place if you a seeking a foreign bride


piglett

[devonbm]

I realize that there will always be the type of woman who wants to screw a guy over, I was just hoping that this was the minority in other places, especially Asia, which is where I'm most interested in.  I do have fairly specific things I want, but some minor things I'm willing to compromise.  As in your example, I do want a woman who will mostly take care of the home, I believe in the husband being the provider kind of deal.

I'm glad to know experience isnt that important in the Far East, and I wouldn't mind a supermodel, but if there's a lot of drama.  I really wouldn't want a re-enactment of high school, and deal with all that drama, even if she is like a "10."

I'm not that picky about culture, but I will look into it more.  Maybe there's things I have no idea about, and could be really against.  I'll look more into it.

I dont get what I'm supposed to do now, like just talk to some agencies?  Which to me seems odd, or do I just go to one of the countries I'm interested in.  I really dont wear to begin....

[Dave H]

Hey devonbm,

Welcome to P-L Asian! Just set back, relax, search the archives, ask lots of questions, and take it all in. Do what feels right for you, when you feel ready. There is no rush! I could introduce you to a lady that would marry you tomorrow...but you would probably realize it was a mistake by next week.

Get used to ladies showing you a lot of attention and acting like you are a movie star, but don't let it go to your head! I live in the Philippines and see foreigners walking around every day acting like they are God's gift to women, because some young hottie (or two) is clinging to his arm.

There is no absolute "right" or "wrong" way to meet a great lady. I have seen plenty of guys do things the complete opposite of my beliefs and end up with a great lady! I prefer personal introductions through friends or acquaintances, but many guys have been successful through introduction agencies or Internet chat. Some guys have even met great ladies while vacationing in the Philippines, but I think that is more difficult because many nice ladies will be very shy and avoid you in person. But, a Philippine vacation is a great way to relax, learn about the culture, and get a feel for things.

Good luck,

Dave

[Jeff S]

Don't talk to any agencies - there are really no such things in Asia, and they'll probably feed you full of what you want to hear anyway. Start by talking to people. I'd recommend starting with one of the penpal sites, like japanfriendfinder or similar (plenty of Thai, Chinese, and Filipina women on those sites too) and/or one of the chat places - like camfrog or person.com. That'll get you finding out about the people. As for the culture, you can get started finding communities in your area of those nationalities you're interested in - make friends, attend events, and like that - you'll have friends here and abroad. Where I live, Southern California, you can go from Saigon to Seoul to Tokyo to Shanghai to Manila in a few minutes drive.

[evoltnvii]

PLEASE listen to Jeff do not go to agencies they will rip you off.

[Bob_S]

I really dont [know where] to begin....

Begin by looking at your own situation.  Are you really in a place in life where you can afford to support a wife (and maybe children if she gets pregnant soon after she arrives)?  Do you have the extra income or savings to travel internationally a couple times a year?  Do you have a job where you'll be able to spend lots of time at home?
There's an old saying: when you take a wife, you adopt a child.  And that very much applies to bringing over a foreign spouse or fianceé.  When they arrive, they are a stranger in a strange land, everything is odd and different to them.  Basic things seem impossible at first.  They may not be able to find a job even if they want to.  They may not be able to drive or use your local version of public transportation.  They may not know how to balance a checkbook or pay a utility bill.  They may not even be able to go shopping for basic staple foods! (Interesting stories among the guys here about that.)  You'll need to be there to hold their hand to show them the most basic of life skills here until they get the hang of it.  Are you ready for that responsibility?

Finding a way to spend time overseas is a good idea, if doable.  Some guys here are former military or merchant marines and acquired a taste for foreign women while stationed in foreign ports.  Some of us found chances to have extended trips overseas for business or jobs.  Teaching English is a sweet gig if you can swing it.  For Japan, you'll need at least a BA degree to get a work visa to teach English, other countries are more lenient but pay much less too.  Spending time there helps you appreciate the struggle they go through when your foreign spouse finally arrives here.

[piglett]

I had great luck with filipinaheart, within 24 hours i had to beat them off with a stick.
now i know what rock start have to put up with ....man they just went crazy.
I had my share of scammers but in the end i found two new members there that didn't even have a picture up yet.
how did i do ?? one was a 5 on a good day the other i have decided to marry in +/- the 1st week of June



piglett

[Ray]

...I wouldnt know where to begin with this process, so please give me something, advice, lectures, etc. !!  Just let me know, thank you all in advance.

Hi devon. Welcome aboard!

Step 1:  Apply for your passport

Step 2: Start saving your money

Step 3: Listen to your uncle Dave H


More to follow...   

Ray

[jm21-2]

Do be aware that this process can cost a lot for a young guy, especially traveling to Asia. Some like KFC really got into the webcamming (including webcamming with family members) and that seemed to help for him and let him cut down costs. Many of us have spent substantial amounts of money and used a lot of vacation time though. For a young guy taking two weeks of vacation and spending $2-3k only to find out the girl wasn't like you thought she was can be a little disheartening/depressing. I would plan on a budget at the minimum of $6-7k for travel, wedding, immigration, and her ticket over here. Also probably 3+ weeks of vacation time.

If you want to take things slow count on a lot more....

[devonbm]

Thank you all for your responses firstly!  Sorry I havent responded til now, I was doing the standard military BS some of you may be aware of.  Anyway, I'm definitely trying to avoid the scammers, or ones who only want to come here and get citizenship.  Then they might just leave me.  I'm also not certain I may be able to support a wife and family, but I'm not some bum, I know I would find a way.  Cost definitely matters when traveling, but I have some savings and other means.  should i just go to one of these countries , or is it better to make friends first tho?  i'm kind of the shy type, just fyi.  Culture I also understand, like which one i fit in most with, well I can adapt to just about anything, or compromise on most things.  For example, I've been involved with a girl who loves animals, thinking about joing PETA on an internship, is a vegetarian, has no religion, doesnt believe in God.  But I love hunting, and eating meat, and am a Christian.  it would have been fine, but she started the usual BS and all the games and such.  I'm just saying I think I will be fine in most cultures but I would appreciate some input and suggestions.

[devonbm]

I had great luck with filipinaheart, within 24 hours i had to beat them off with a stick.
now i know what rock start have to put up with ....man they just went crazy.
I had my share of scammers but in the end i found two new members there that didn't even have a picture up yet.
how did i do ?? one was a 5 on a good day the other i have decided to marry in +/- the 1st week of June



piglett

I am currently trying that site, it hasn't been 24 hours.  However so far it seems all the girls are standard members, just like me.  So I can't talk to them, is this how you met your future wife?  Or did you pay money on the site, I'm just wondering if I need to spend money, because I was hoping for something free.  I know how much money a foreign bride is going to cost anyway, but a free/good site would be nice....

[devonbm]

These webistes I have read about do I need to pay for, gold or whatever members to be able to honestly meet a woman....

[thekfc]

These webistes I have read about do I need to pay for, gold or whatever members to be able to honestly meet a woman....

You do not have to pay for the gold or platinum membership to meet a woman - you can still do it with the standard membership but you communication with the ladies will be limited. But I will advice with going with at least a gold membership.
I had the platinum membership on Filipinaheart (there was some kind of special going on when I joined) & I glad that I did go for the platinum membership.

Something you have to keep in mind is that a lot of women may not be able to pay for a paid membership & instead they go for the free membership. I do not know if you notices but if you also have a free membership - your contact with them will be limited - a free member cannot communicate with another free member. But if you have a paid membership then anyone can communicate with you & vice versa.
With a paid membership you get to read messages from free members, do instant messaging via the Filipinaheart site, allow free members to read your messages, add a personality profile, read send & view video profiles and you get to rank your profile meaning that members see your profile before they see the free members profile. These are all things that a free member cannot do.

If you are truly serious - then you should invest in a paid membership - I view it as just a small fee to pay in meeting your future wife.

Damn, I feel like I am doing a commercial.

[robert angel]

And if you act now, in the next twenty minutes, we'll double your offer!

[thekfc]

And if you act now, in the next twenty minutes, we'll double your offer!

[piglett]

I am one of the cheapest guys around & even i went with the gold membership.
also keep in mind the time difference between here & there if ur on when it's 3am there your probably not going to get many responces to ur add.

good luck & happy hunting
piglett

let us know when you get ur 1st scammer , some are ez to spot.
some are a little more crafty. But in the end they will all show their true colors.

[robert angel]

from Piglett:
>>I am one of the cheapest guys around & even i went with the gold membership.<<

NOT!  I am SO cheap that I signed on for FREE as a woman! My name was Morticia, and when it came to explaining, I'd say 'my sister did it to me......'

[thekfc]

NOT!  I am SO cheap that I signed on for FREE as a woman! My name was Morticia, and when it came to explaining, I'd say 'my sister did it to me......'

[devonbm]

Well I joined pen pals planet, and paid for a year.  I went on the site looking for women in Asia, and now I'm talking to American women.  Ironic I suppose, I'll probably pay for the filipina heart one tonight and try.

[opensource]

NOT!  I am SO cheap that I signed on for FREE as a woman! My name was Morticia, and when it came to explaining, I'd say 'my sister did it to me......'

LOL! I laugh because I contemplated such a thing. Nice to see some minds on the same level...