Beginning My Quest for a New Bride: Thanks in Advance for Your Advice!

[Osa]

Well, I have been giving it some thought, and I've decided that 2010 should be the year I find my Foreign Bride.  I am just beginning my search, so I thought I would post some considerations and concerns here and let people respond naturally.  These considerations are in no particular order:

1) My BIGGEST concern starting off - is that I begin working with an Agency that is reputable and honest and will work with me through the whole process to achieve my goals.  I don't have the time or the money to be ripped off.  I'd even be willing to pay some more knowing that an agency has my back and will accommodate me. After searching the internet for a few days, it seems http://latin-wife.com has the outfit that would suit my style, but please steer me away if this is not a good place.  At first I was enamored by amolatina.com, but I saw a lot of bad stuff on them on the web, and the whole pay per credit system seems like a way to nickle and dime you.

2) Tours/Meeting/Agencies - the whole "trip" approach to the bride finding process seems more sensible to me.  The idea of corresponding with someone via a dating site then making a trip to see just them seems like a lot of build up and hype leading to disappointment.  if latin-wife does it the way they claim to -- setting you up in a group interview with different high-quality candidates, that seems ideal

3) What I'm looking for - I'm a 34 year old divorced male.  I'm really looking for a girl with those old fashioned latin values - maintaining home, family, and...dare I say it -- cooking and cleaning.  I've been married to the typical entitled American girl and hated it. I'm also going to be open about the fact that I am looking for a very beautiful girl (I'm not so bad looking myself); I won't apologize for this, this is just super important to me.

4) More on Me - I don't make a terrible amount of money but I am a professional employee of the state government.  I live in a modest one bedroom apartment, which I am a little self -conscious about being enough for a girl who might think she is coming here to live in a mansion.  Oh also, my family is latino (though I am very Americanized) so i speak spanish, so I am not even looking for a girl to learn spanish; I want us to speak in Spanish and to keep it that way.

Questions I Have:

1) is this even doable? lol

2) Is 12 to 18 months a realistic turnaround process for seeking a girl from Colombia?

3) Do people get caught up in Visa hell, having selected a beauty but then unable to get her into the country for seasons on end?

4) How much will this whole thing cost, beginning to end?   I'm thinking in the vicinity of $3000 - $6000.  am I off?

thanks in advance for your help on this, people   

[william3rd]

YOu need to rethink some of your preconceived notions before you begin. . . . .

AGENCY- Jamie is probably one of the better choices you could make. Stay away from Loveme.com. You are likely to meet one of their porn stars or paid talent at their "parties". Extremely dishonest agency. Verified Links to porno filming and distribution in both Europe and Latin America

"Questions I Have:

1) is this even doable? lol. IT IS ALWAYS DOABLE iF YOU PUT IN THE TIME AND EFFORT.

2) Is 12 to 18 months a realistic turnaround process for seeking a girl from Colombia? POSSIBLY. THE TIME THAT IT TAKES IS THE TIME THAT IT TAKES. DO NOT PUT AN ARBITRARY TIME LINE ON LOVE

TALK TO FATHER TIME- HE JUST FINISHED EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE STARTING.

3) Do people get caught up in Visa hell, having selected a beauty but then unable to get her into the country for seasons on end? NOT USUALLY> FIANCEE VISAS ARE FAIRLY SIMPLE.  BUT, IF THE EMBASSY FINDS SOMETHING OUT ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND, THEN RUN AWAY!!!!! QUICKLY. . . .

4) How much will this whole thing cost, beginning to end?   I'm thinking in the vicinity of $3000 - $6000.  am I off? HOW CAN YOU DEFINE COSTS? YOU ARE NOT BUYING A USED CAR HERE,  ARE YOU? ARE YOU?!?!?!?!?!

DUMP THESE NOTIONS AND LOOK AT IT FOR WHAT IT IS. YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A LIFE MATE TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH.

LOOK MORE AT HOW MUCH TIME YOU CAN TAKE TO SPEND INVOLVED IN THE HUNT. WHAT AMOUNT OF TIME ARE YOU ABLE TO TAKE OFF IN A YEAR? AT ONE TIME? YOU MAY WANT TO LOOK AT UPGRADING YOUR DIGS AT SOME POINT.

 GOOD HUNTING.

[sean126]

Osa,

Welcome to the forum.  I encourage you to look through the archives as they contain alot of good information and advice already.

You will get varied opinions, but no one's opinion will mean or not mean you, personally, will have success or failure.

My opinion is......

1.  It's important to get a time frame out of your head for "finding" a wife.  This is stupid on a level that is simply amazing.

2.  Don't worry about the visa process....you don't even have a woman yet.  (See my first opinion.)

3.  Don't be in a hurry to find "the one".  The women are NOT going any where.  (See my first opinion.)

4.  Other countries do not have "magic" women that are some how more successful at marriage than American women are.  You either have good judgment and common sense at picking a spouse or you do not.  Your success or failure at marriage or anything else depends on you, not the woman, the opinions you consider, the agency, the dating site or the country.  If you are a relationship retard, then outside factors will not change this.  

5.  Agencies cost more money than meeting women on a dating site yourself and setting up several dates before you arrive.  I'd say somewhere in the neighborhood of $3000 for about a week's stay sounds about right, depending on which agency you use.   If you are lining up the dates yourself you can probably cut the price in half.

6.  If you somehow always find yourself with bad women, women who take advantage of you, women who cheat on you, ect....this will not change by getting a girl from another country....the problem is you.  Until you change you....the women will not change.  

7.  Pick the date you will be visiting and the Country and city you will be visiting.  Since you speak spanish it would be my advice to sign up for the two popular latin dating sites (I think it's Colombian cupid and Latin cupid....someone else will be able to tell you what the names are) and correspond and send pictures back and forth just like you would at a match.com or yahoo personals website.  Set up several dates over the course of your stay before you arrive.  You will know in advance that you are physically attracted to these women and they to you (since you sent them a picture and they agreed to meet you), you will be fairly certain that they are sincere about meeting you and getting to know you through their letters.  Their letters should be of further help to you in determining if she is sincere about meeting you.  Since you've never been to the city....I would get recommendations for a guide or an assistant to keep you out of the wrong parts of town, to show you around town and to keep you from as much harm as possible.  I personally know of two that I would trust my life with.

8.  Do not believe the agency hype.  While there are some good agencies out there....in all honesty, you can do everything yourself and still have the same odds of success while saving yourself ALOT of money.  Agencies will not help or hurt your odds of success or failure, no matter what the owners tell you.  The only determining factor in that is your judgment and your commons sense.  The cost of the agency does not determine it's quality.  There are some good and honest cheaper agencies and some over priced and dishonest expensive agencies.  Don't let the prices, fancy websites (or lack of), and the amount of girls they have throw you off.  

9.  Keep in mind you are paying to have the agency set up dates for you, arrange a hotel for you and to give you assistance while in their city.  You can do all of this yourself for minimal effort and pocket the extra $1,000 or so they charge for this.  Which would you rather have.....$1,000 or a few hours back of your time that you spent setting this stuff up?  If Barranquilla is the city you have in mind then there is no sense in spending $2- 3,0000 your first time doing this.  Or any other time for that matter when you can do it yourself with minimal effort.  There is more than one person here who can steer you to hotels and assistance and you have a few websites that you can meet women on.   If you don't like writing.....then do what the agency does and just send your picture to the girls you want to meet and simply say..."I will be in Barranquilla on "such and such" date at "such and such" restaurant at "such and such" time.  Be there."  Because believe it or not....the agency cannot control which girls will show up and which ones won't.  They will, however, give you some "filler" girls just to make sure you have a sufficient "number" of girls to meet.  The quality or looks may be lacking, but at least the agency gave you your quota of women to meet.  

10.  Since you asked for opinions....I will tell you that I am not anti-agency, but I'm not pro-agency either.  I am pro-common sense and good judgment.  I am, however, anti latin-wife.com.  Since you asked for opinions I will simply say that it is my opinion that after using this agency myself when I was naive and didn't know anything, at all, about this process that I honestly believe the agency is over priced and I believe the owner is not only a liar, but dishonest and too greedy.  I used to give the agency and the owner good reviews before I became more knowledgeable about the process and about the owner.  Not everyone shares this opinion...but keep in mind that their opinion is only opinion and not fact....as is my opinion is only opinion based on my experiences.  Even if the owner was not dishonest or a liar...and even if the agency was the best agency on the planet, I would still tell you to try the two dating sites and set the stuff up yourself....at least on your first trip just to save yourself alot of money.  That just makes good sense.  Why spend 3 or 4 grand to find out this stuff is not for you?

11.  It's been my experience that Latin women are definitely NOT submissive or docile.  If you have that idea in your head, you're in for a rude awakening.  

12.  If you want a beautiful 18 year old....that is exactly what you will get: a beautiful "girl" with no common sense or sense of direction.  18 years old in America is still 18 years old in Colombia, no matter what you believe.  

13.  Agencies cannot "screen" the women for you to determine if they are a gold digger or a visa shark.  Do not let anyone tell you that this is an "added bonus" to using agencies.  They do not hook them up to a lie detector machine, they do not use the water board method to get them to confess, they don't use a rubber hose and beat the truth out of them.  All they do is see how many complaints and the types of complaints they get on a specific girl and it's up to the owner's discretion to determine if the owner thinks the girl should be removed.  Sometimes they do NOT remove them when they should, trust me on this.  I know.    The only way to determine if a girl is sincere and not playing you is through you using your own brain and common sense.

14.  If you want good odds of success....follow my first opinion.

Hope this helps.

[sean126]

It just occurred to me....

Another option is to meet latinas who are here already from other countries.  That would really save you alot of money also.  If you think they may be too americanized then what will you do with the woman you bring here?  Lock her up in a closet?  Deny her the ability to make friends?

There are many women, I'm sure, who haven't been in America very long who would like to meet someone like you.  This is another option to consider in your quest. 

[Osa]

thanks for all the feedback...I'm a little overwhelmed 

regarding meeting girls who are somewhat new to the country, I've been doing that on a minor scale with migente.com .  I probably went on 6 first dates this past year with girls I met through that, though I leaned mostly to the more Americanized ones since I wasn't thinking "foreign bride" at the time.

regarding meeting lots of girls online myself and setting up dates and hotels and meetups ,etc...well, that sounds a little intimidating.  I suppose it could be done though.   but then there's this nickle and dime process of paying per message to girl type stuff, which I find kinda silly.

[fathertime]

Yo Osa,

1. Your timeline of 12-18months is a best case scenerio.  IF you were to happen to meet our ideal woman on the first trip and propose to her right away or on your second trip to Colombia than it is doable in this time frame.  The visa process is not as long as it used to be.

2. Your 3k-6k is likely off UNLESS you do it on your own AND find your woman on your first trip.  I'd plan on doubling your number for now.

3.  As far as 'visa hell', I had absolutely no problem getting my woman here about 5 months ago.  I used the lawyer on this site despite people telling me "I could do the paperwork myself" and I'm glad I took this route as the paperwork was prepared impeccably and there was no problems getting my woman here in 5-6 months.

MY thoughts:

I had a very good experience with latinwife.com and the owner (Jamie).  Over the course of 2-3 days he was able to put 50 attractive woman in front of me.  You can go on your own but in my opinion it would require a little more luck to find the right lady and your odds are not as good.  You could also use the hybrid approach which would be to utilize an agency AND attempt to glean internet contacts and see how that goes.

Your ability to speak Spanish is a large bonus.  Many of the men going to Colombia don't speak any Spanish and I suspect many of the men married to Colombian ladies never learn Spanish either.  For this reason alone, you will have an advantage over the average traveler and likely be able to discern little verbal signals many others can not.

I enjoyed the process and was age 36 on my first trip to Colombia.  Like you, I thought I would make it a quick process.  As it turns out I made quite a few trips to Colombia before finding the woman I wanted to take back here to the states.  The process of meeting and experimenting with these gals is a helluva lot of fun as you will soon find out if you make a trip.  I woundn't get to attached to that 12-18month timeline.  If you are somewhat attractive, the woman will be fighting over you and these woman are knockouts, much better looking than what you are likely to get here in the states.  In retrospect I'm glad I didn't rush through that aspect of the process too quickly.


Fathertime!

[Osa]

Dude...very encouraging post.   thanks!

you've got my souped about the latin-wife-group-of-women- approach.  I still might play around with colombian cupid as a backup, but if latin-wife works well, this could be a boon

[sean126]

Osa,

what is "so silly" about saving $1,000 or more.  Nothing to it.....

Hey guys, where is a good place to stay in Barranquilla?  Do you have the website link?  (then you call and reserve your room for the dates you are attending.)

Hey guys, does anyone know a good wing man or guide for Barranquilla?  Oh good, do you have their contact info?  (they become your assistant, help you with the hotel reservation if need be, arrange for taxi pick up at the airport, perhaps confirm your dates you have set up with the woman, give you advice about the city, keep you out of the bad parts of town, ect...)

Hey guys, what's the name of some good Latin dating sites to meet some women in Barranquilla?  (then you nickel and dime your way to getting their email address and yahoo ID to chat with them on line with a web cam instead of paying for a billion email messages through their service.  That beats the hell out of paying over $1,000 in my opinion. if you'd rather spend over $1,000 compared to perhaps $100 or so then.....I wish you luck with the ladies because they are going to clean your clock with that logic. )  Many women who are join these agencies are also on these dating sites, or so I've heard.  

Don't get me wrong....it's your money, but there is literally nothing to it.   Forgive me if it sounds a little rude, but I honestly don't understand.  You've got guys on this board who can guide you, if that's what you want and the best part....we won't charge you thousands of dollars for doing it.  But, like I said....it's your money.  I didn't have the benefit of this board when I started out, otherwise I'd have a few more thousand dollars in my bank account.  Many have started out as I described and have succeeded and some have not, others have succeeded at an agency and others have not.  I definitely wouldn't start out with the most expensive option though.

If hand holding is what you want, I know and recommend a person who can do just that.  I can recommend a hotel and I can recommend a taxi driver.  two actually.  I understand it can seem a little over whelming at first, but it's not as complicated as you think.  Stop thinking of it in your terms and start to think of it as a vacation and just have fun.  I would weigh all the options before haphazardly plopping down a few thousand dollars though.  

The responsible time line for meeting, getting engaged and getting married is the same in Colombia as it is in America.  You rush into it then your odds of failure are probably increased a great deal.  

FT is correct, when I said your ball park of around $3,000 is correct....I meant on your very first trip using an expensive agency.  That isn't counting your return visits, gifts, calling cards, ect.....so FT is correct when he says to double your numbers, if you consider from the time you meet her until she is in your house.

If you have money to burn then perhaps you will throw some my way....I've got Christmas bills to pay off.

[fathertime]

Well Sean, there is really a big difference between going an agency route and going without one.  I don’t believe you have been down both roads, as I have.   I think you are talking from ‘theoretical experience” as you found your lovely wife on your first trip to Colombia using Jamie’s agency, if I’m not mistaken.

     For a first timer going to Colombia I think using an agency with a proven track record is a smart move.  After a trip or two, people might decide to do a little more on his own or a person might decide that the agency was the right move and do it all again, as I did.   If it were me (and it was me in the recent past), I’d rather spend more money and assure myself of meeting boatloads of gals (that I have chosen) than possibly find myself isolated and solo in a hotel room in a strange country.  I always liked that everything was set up for me and all I need to do is prepare myself and show up and the ladies were waiting.  When I went solo, I found myself alone, with a lot of time between ‘dates’ and sometimes the ladies did not show at all.  I wasted a lot of time and time is always short on these trips.  Of course I still was able to meet some women, but not nearly as many and not to the specifications that I wanted.   Those are some of the reasons why I think an agency is worth spending the money.

Some of what you say makes sense to me regarding the 'docile or submisive latina' which is often times just a silly fantasy.  Also based on experience I would agree that 18 year olds are usually just not a great choice in Colombia.

Fathertime!

[sean126]

Yes you are mistaken.  My wife was NOT a member of Jamie's agency.  She was a friend of one of Jamie's translator.  Jamie can even verify this if you don't believe me.  Yes, I used to swing the fact his way to make him look better.  But that is the simple truth....she was a friend of a translator who had never joined an agency.  I have begun stating this a few times now.   She tried to get me to pay her for this and then Jamie fired her.  Olga Lucia was her name.

Also....this was not my first trip.  This was in fact the last day of my 2nd trip after I had broken up with my first girlfriend, whom I had met through Jamie's agency.

I will address the rest in a few hours, got some errands to run.  I'm sure we can keep it civil for change, it will probably be a productive thread for those wanting to see the differences.  I hope we can agree to this.

later.

[fathertime]

I'm sure we can keep it civil for change, it will probably be a productive thread for those wanting to see the differences.  I hope we can agree to this.

Well sean, I allow you to dictate how civil the conversation goes.  I might suggest that an extensive conversation about agencies be done on another thread as Osa had many other questions aside from the agency question and I imagine he would prefer to get other issues resolved on this thread he created.
 I always enjoy having a agency/non agency conversation whether it be civil or uncivil 

Yes you are mistaken.  My wife was NOT a member of Jamie's agency.  She was a friend of one of Jamie's translator.  Jamie can even verify this if you don't believe me.  Yes, I used to swing the fact his way to make him look better.  But that is the simple truth....she was a friend of a translator who had never joined an agency.  I have begun stating this a few times now.   She tried to get me to pay her for this and then Jamie fired her.  Olga Lucia was her name.

Also....this was not my first trip.  This was in fact the last day of my 2nd trip after I had broken up with my first girlfriend, whom I had met through Jamie's agency.

It seems I was off my statement of how you met your wife, I must have been going off of your first version you reported.


OSA:  What made you chose the name Osa?  My impression that is a female bear but maybe there a slang impression I need to know. 

Fathertime!

[Osa]

haha. I suppose OSA would be the feminine of "oso" so maybe I am a sort of mother bear.

no, I'm a fan of the phrase "the outstretched arm of the Lord" that appears in the Bible a few places, so "outstretchedarm" has been my online moniker for years, and sometimes I (and online friends) just shorten it to osa.

speaking of spirituality, let's talk about sex (worst segue of the year).  a few questions:

1) well, first off, I'm definitely not doing this to get laid (I can do that domestically).  but as one is sampling the goods, I expect one will get laid from time to time (I'm sure these women, like American women, represent the gamut of attitudes towards sex, from very prudish to very loose).  ok, that wasn't a question, but interpret it as such

2) non-question number 2; I couldn't see myself proposing to a woman I don't have a deep sexual connection with.  I've been in a sexual-broken marriage and that wasn't fun

3) actually, this question doesn't have to do with sex.  So, in the agency setting, you meet these girls, you tell your facilitator which one's you like and stuff.  then what?  You arrange individual dates with them?  Where?  Do you host them in your hotel's bar?  Travel about?  How many of these individual dates can you expect to have in a 10 day period?  Is it like "group meetings" for the first three days, then date nights the rest of your stay?   and are you out with a different girl each night the rest of your stay, or I suppose you can narrow it to one girl if you're feeling each other.

[sean126]

Osa,

Since you've made up your mind, It's my opinion that those questions are best asked directly to the agency owner through his website since that entails what you will be paying for.  I know if I was paying alot of money I'd want to ask the owner directly any questions I'd have about the specifics of my purchase.  I know he'll answer any questions you'd have about your stay, do's and don'ts and what to expect.  That way you can get it directly from the horse's mouth, which is usually the best way. 

[fathertime]

haha. I suppose OSA would be the feminine of "oso" so maybe I am a sort of mother bear.

no, I'm a fan of the phrase "the outstretched arm of the Lord" that appears in the Bible a few places, so "outstretchedarm" has been my online moniker for years, and sometimes I (and online friends) just shorten it to osa.

speaking of spirituality, let's talk about sex (worst segue of the year).  a few questions:

1) well, first off, I'm definitely not doing this to get laid (I can do that domestically).  but as one is sampling the goods, I expect one will get laid from time to time (I'm sure these women, like American women, represent the gamut of attitudes towards sex, from very prudish to very loose).  ok, that wasn't a question, but interpret it as such

2) non-question number 2; I couldn't see myself proposing to a woman I don't have a deep sexual connection with.  I've been in a sexual-broken marriage and that wasn't fun

3) actually, this question doesn't have to do with sex.  So, in the agency setting, you meet these girls, you tell your facilitator which one's you like and stuff.  then what?  You arrange individual dates with them?  Where?  Do you host them in your hotel's bar?  Travel about?  How many of these individual dates can you expect to have in a 10 day period?  Is it like "group meetings" for the first three days, then date nights the rest of your stay?   and are you out with a different girl each night the rest of your stay, or I suppose you can narrow it to one girl if you're feeling each other.

Hey Osa!  Thanks for the explanation of the name, I gotta say that is a wacky little story. 


1. Based on my experience, your question/statement is correct, some gals will sleep with you the first or second night, others will hang out with you and wait until your last night and then give you something to remember prior to departure.  Still other gals will want to be very hands-off.  This entirely depends on the girl obviously and which ones you choose.

2. I felt the same way about having a sexual connection prior to proposing.  I also was just not willing to take the risk of some sort of sexual problem or lack of attraction.  I definitely wanted explore this aspect prior to a proposal of marriage.

3. After a group meeting of say 10 gals, you will be pulled to the side and asked which one(s) would you like to see again, one of which you could have the option of seeing that night.  The ladies are also pulled aside and asked if they want to see you again.  From my experience, the ladies will nearly always be receptive to seeing you again, so it boils down to which one(s) you want to see again.  This will happen after each group meeting.  Usually you take the gal you liked the most out to dinner/coffee/swimming/whatever.  At that point you can continue to evaluate her characteristics and see if you want to pursue her further.  Being this is your first trip, the biggest problem you will likely have is how to narrow the search.  There will likely be so many incredible options, you won’t know which way to turn.  Well at least that was my experience.  Eventually if things go well between you and one gal, you can commit your time to her for the remainder of the trip and decide if you want to become exclusive to her or if you want to give it another whirl in a few months.  In the past, repeat customers of this agency are given gratis intros. during future visits if staying at the facility so the cash outlay isn’t as big.


You are in for an adventure….


Fathertime!

[bcc_1_2]

Let me get this straight... on a shoestring budget you want to use the most expensive agency in Latin America?

IDK what city you are flying out of but hopefully you've started pricing flights. Especially with your budget $300-$550 ok. $650-$950... too much.

Hotels. check online reviews (clean, security onsite, etc). $40-$60 ok... $90-$150 too much.

If you don't revise that budget you might end up trying to force something. I'd focus on a per trip budget and leave it at that.

Plane $450
Hotel $600-700 (14 nights)
Spending Money: Depends on what you buy... what agency you go with (or do not go with) $700-$1400

You go with the most expensive agency out there and you're budget is gone in one trip. And with any agency you only get a tiny sampling of the population.

With any agency I suggest you pay per chica meeting. If they won't quote you prices for that then they aren't customer service oriented (or aware of the current economy) and I don't suggest doing business with them.

[bcc_1_2]

1. Based on my experience, your question/statement is correct, some gals will sleep with you the first or second night, others will hang out with you and wait until your last night and then give you something to remember prior to departure.  Still other gals will want to be very hands-off.  This entirely depends on the girl obviously and which ones you choose.

3. the ladies will nearly always be receptive to seeing you again,

Point one deals with some very personal issues. The first time down to meet her I would not jump her. You are spending your valuable time and money down there trying to find Miss Right. When sex enters the equation early on I think it can only confuse things and/or make it harder to figure out your real thoughts. Better to go home and think it over more clear headed.

If you are thinking about getting engaged down the road... [snip] yea I'd jump her.

The part of point 3 I've highlighted is something to think about as well. The ladies will nearly always be receptive to seeing you again. What does fathertime know about you personally? Are you an attractive guy? Are you going to have game and sweep these ladies off their feet? Could you be a complete social outcast? He has no clue... yet nearly all these ladies are going to want to see you again.

Just think about that. WHY?

[sean126]

Let me get this straight... on a shoestring budget you want to use the most expensive agency in Latin America?

IDK what city you are flying out of but hopefully you've started pricing flights. Especially with your budget $300-$550 ok. $650-$950... too much.

Hotels. check online reviews (clean, security onsite, etc). $40-$60 ok... $90-$150 too much.

If you don't revise that budget you might end up trying to force something. I'd focus on a per trip budget and leave it at that.

Plane $450
Hotel $600-700 (14 nights)
Spending Money: Depends on what you buy... what agency you go with (or do not go with) $700-$1400

You go with the most expensive agency out there and you're budget is gone in one trip. And with any agency you only get a tiny sampling of the population.

With any agency I suggest you pay per chica meeting. If they won't quote you prices for that then they aren't customer service oriented (or aware of the current economy) and I don't suggest doing business with them.

BCC....You are very observant, but something tells me this is not a genuine "newbie" seeking advice or opinions, but it makes for good conversation though I guess.  Too many things don't add up.....doesn't have much money, but like you said....jumps right in on the most expensive agency after only one person actually giving a good opinion about said agency.  I give him an option that will save him at least $1,000 and he doesn't bat an eye.  Thinks it's silly to write to women and obviously thinks its silly to write to Jamie directly and chooses to ask questions better suited for Jamie to answer since it's what he will be paying for.  Begins to talk about sex as if Colombian women are from another planet.  He is either not who he appears to be or is extremely naive and is looking for someone to tell him what he wants to hear.  Since one person has....his mind is made up about a $3,000+ trip.  Sounds and looks a little "premeditated" to me, given the games I've seen since I first joined this site.   His whole writing style in general seems to be from an experienced poster.  Then again....there's a minute chance I could be wrong.

[Researcher]

   Hey Sean...... .

[fathertime]

Point one deals with some very personal issues. The first time down to meet her I would not jump her. You are spending your valuable time and money down there trying to find Miss Right. When sex enters the equation early on I think it can only confuse things and/or make it harder to figure out your real thoughts. Better to go home and think it over more clear headed.

If you are thinking about getting engaged down the road... [snip] yea I'd jump her.

Look at what you have written bCc, it simply makes no sense….first you say don’t ‘jump’ a gal because it confuses feelings (maybe for you)…two sentences later  you say  definitely jump a gal if you are thinking about getting engaged.  How could your thoughts be more contradictory?

 

The part of point 3 I've highlighted is something to think about as well. The ladies will nearly always be receptive to seeing you again. What does fathertime know about you personally? Are you an attractive guy? Are you going to have game and sweep these ladies off their feet? Could you be a complete social outcast? He has no clue... yet nearly all these ladies are going to want to see you again.

Just think about that. WHY?

I don’t mind be quoted, but you quoted a sentence fragment and it changed the meaning of the point being made.  I don’t know Osa but as I prefaced this statement, it was based on ‘my experience (which you failed to include in the quote).  The meaning from the sentence was most all of the gals were interested in going out on an individual date with me after meeting me in a group setting.   Is there something you would like to say directly about this or are we to just going to infer what you are trying to say, based on your vast knowledge and experience with the ladies of Barranquilla and agencies?

Fathertime!

[bcc_1_2]

Look at what you have written bCc, it simply makes no sense….first you say don’t ‘jump’ a gal because it confuses feelings (maybe for you)…two sentences later  you say  definitely jump a gal if you are thinking about getting engaged.  How could your thoughts be more contradictory?

It is only contradictory if you are crazy/dumb enough to get engaged on the first trip. Not that I should have to say this... but don't do that.

[bcc_1_2]

it was based on ‘my experience (which you failed to include in the quote).  The meaning from the sentence was most all of the gals were interested in going out on an individual date with me after meeting me in a group setting.  

just in case this thread isn't a complete setup and this so called newbie is operating on the I'll spend all my money on one trip and get engaged premise...

take an honest evaluation of yourself. what are you espanol skills? what is your game like in the USA? are you an attractive guy? are you in shape? do you have style?

if the answer is yes you are GQ who just happens to want to chase latinas then I wouldn't be shocked if they all were interested. If not... then understand these ladies could be out for a variety of reasons (free dinner, shopping trip, you name it).

FT has direct experience with that. Probably a lot more than he'd be willing to admit.

[fathertime]

It is only contradictory if you are crazy/dumb enough to get engaged on the first trip. Not that I should have to say this... but don't do that.

Your statement was an outright contridiction so no need to try to explain it away now.

The question is why would bCc feel the need to tell everybody what to do or not to do?  Generally speaking, it is usually a high risk to engage a woman on a first trip, but I’m not going to tell somebody not to do it and I’m not going to call them ‘dumb’ either.  There is a significant percentage of posters on this site that engaged/married on their first trip, including Utopian Cowboy, so is he ‘dumb’? I figure a percentage of people read the signs, calculate the risk/reward, and decide to take the plunge despite the risk.  That is not ‘dumb’, what is dumb is to categorize all these men as ‘dumb’ as you did.

take an honest evaluation of yourself. what are you espanol skills? what is your game like in the USA? are you an attractive guy? are you in shape? do you have style?

if the answer is yes you are GQ who just happens to want to chase latinas then I wouldn't be shocked if they all were interested. If not... then understand these ladies could be out for a variety of reasons (free dinner, shopping trip, you name it).

FT has direct experience with that. Probably a lot more than he'd be willing to admit.

Well I happen to be quite a stud but still there is no shame in saying a woman was using a me or any man for a free lunch.  That has happened to most everybody and is not a big deal so why would I have a hard time saying it has happened to me.  These ladies are easy to identify and most men are able to move on to the next lady very quickly.   You are the one who has claimed that ‘all’ the woman were sincere with you and that you could pull anything out of them all that you wanted.  So now who is the one having a hard time ‘admitting’ being taken?!  The hilarity of your naivete is that you don’t realize how naïve you come across!

Fathertime!

[bcc_1_2]

Well I happen to be quite a stud. The hilarity of your naivete is that you don’t realize how naïve you come across!

I just don't have the heart to make fun of you anymore. Young attractive men (like our new poster the aussie model) can get away with being naive towards colombian women (just not naive to the dangers of the country). Because they won't be out for the shopping trip or free lunch with him.

[fathertime]

 

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Quote from: fathertime on Today at 12:53:41 PM

Well I happen to be quite a stud. The hilarity of your naivete is that you don’t realize how naïve you come across!

QUOTE BCC
I just don't have the heart to make fun of you anymore. Young attractive men (like our new poster the aussie model) can get away with being naive towards colombian women (just not naive to the dangers of the country). Because they won't be out for the shopping trip or free lunch with him.

I notice bCc FALSIFIED my post!  You put two lines together that I did not say in that sequence which changed the meaning of those two lines.  Obviously I must have hit the nail on the head about your naivete for you to resort to falsifying my post like that and then putting it in quotes as if I said it in that sequence.  Of course I could take two unrelated lines in your posts & put them together here, but that would be entirely dishonest, which says plenty about your integrity!  Naive and dishonest, anything else you would like to add to your resume?

Fathertime!

[JR33]

I notice bCc FALSIFIED my post!  You put two lines together that I did not say in that sequence which changed the meaning of those two lines.  Obviously I must have hit the nail on the head about your naivete for you to resort to falsifying my post like that and then putting it in quotes as if I said it in that sequence.  Of course I could take two unrelated lines in your posts & put them together here, but that would be entirely dishonest, which says plenty about your integrity!  Naive and dishonest, anything else you would like to add to your resume?

Fathertime!

   SSDT(Same Sh** Different Thread)blah, blah....